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7 Ways for Successful Online Dating After 50

7 Ways for Successful Online Dating After 50

In the days past, people met Mr/Mrs right mostly in colleges, in a bar, through friends, family or even on the job. But today, we are witnessing a different phase. Increasingly, people are meeting on dating sites online .

Studies have shown that the fastest growing category of online dating services is the adult segment. As an older person looking for love and companionship, this can be a good option. But you need to practice caution.

Below are some effective ways for safe online dating;

1. You must be ready for the date

Before you can find a healthy relationship, you must be ready for a date. Don’t go in search of a date or involve in one if you are still getting over a past hurt or pains from a relation that never worked out.

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Before you can have a great dating adventure, you need to be open, feel positive and ready for the dating adventure. Never intend for a date to get over past relationship pains. You can never get the right date in this mood and state of mind. Worse still, you might end up with someone who only pities your status but does not genuinely love you.

2. Do your research

If you have made up your mind to try online dating as an option, please don’t just jump in and start having fun. Many negative issues have been reported about online dating sites.

Do your homework to research which dating site is best for you. There are dating sites “you pay to participate” while there are others “you freely participate”. You should know that fake identities can be easily created on free dating sites more easily than the other. You are safer where everyone uses a credit card and complete anonymity is never given a chance.

3. Involve your friends

Ensure to ask your friend’s opinion about your decision. Even during the process of signing up, they can help you meet potential dates by guiding you with your profile contents. What seems attractive to you might seem the opposite to them.

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They can help you choose a good profile picture, and fill up the data forms with positive information about yourself, like your hobbies and other interests. Let your friends have a review of your profile, before letting it go live.

4. Expand your options

When answering questions about what you are looking for on the dating site, please endeavor to elaborate your options. Some sites may ask what you do or don’t need in a date.

Giving too long answers may create chances of missing the most important ones, so just go straight to the most needed qualities or disqualifying ones and save the time.

Save the stress wanting to know if he has a master’s degree or owns a house. Whether he smokes, gambles or drinks, I think, should be more important. Guess you think that way too!

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5. Do away with platitude when setting up your profile

Common things people write about themselves may not portray your originality. This can be seen when you visit other people’s profiles and see what their hobbies are and what they like or don’t.

It’s ok to have common hobbies or experiences but ensure to display some originality or distinctive values. Whatever you write about yourself, ensure it portrays your choices and goals, and that it makes you distinct from others.

6. Be cautious and stay safe

Whether you meet someone or someone meets you, be cautious. At first, do try to talk on the mobile phone instead of using your home phone which can be traced to your home address.

Intending to meet face to face with a date? Please meet in a public place on a first date. An ideal place can be a coffee shop. Never let a date drive you anywhere or walk you to your vehicle in a secret or hidden place until you are confident he is what he says or know them better. It’s true that most people are well-meaning and genuine but this is not a risk you should take or you might end up with a very negative experience.

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7. Be patient

Online dating has this advantage of helping you meet people you could never have met otherwise. On the contrary, this could be a disadvantage too.

You are meeting people you really don’t know or what they have been all their life. What they tell you doesn’t make them genuine or honest. You don’t know anyone who can vouch for them.

Trusting people automatically have put many people in serious issues. This is the major reason why many people will speak ill of online dating. Even while meeting people face to face, it takes some time to know if people are really who they claim to be, so take your time. It doesn’t matter how sincere they claim to be.

You should be honest about what you want and expect that from date too. Some online daters are just out there to have fun, have a good time with no strings attached. Knowing what a date wants or what you want is a good guide to setting your boundaries.

Some people are so lucky to find the right person immediately when they sign up with an online dating site. This may not be everyone’s experience. It can take many dates to meet the right date for you and this is worth it at the end. You will definitely find that special person for you if you take your time and make the effort.

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Last Updated on July 13, 2020

9 Simple Ways to Always Stay Positive

9 Simple Ways to Always Stay Positive

It’s common to be struck with a bout of pessimism, or to naturally be more towards the pessimistic end of the perspective spectrum. It’s hard to see the positives in life and become an optimist when you’re lost in the murky waters of negative thinking.

However, Henrik Edberg, the founder of The Positivity Blog is here to share nine ways we can create a more optimistic outlook and positive perspective:

“Nobody can go back and start a new beginning, but anyone can start today and make a new ending.” — Maria Robinson

When I was younger — in my teens and early 20s — I was trapped. Not physically, but mentally: by the destructive thought pattern called pessimism. This negative thinking poisoned what might have been a pretty good and opportunity-filled childhood, adolescence, and early adulthood. This pessimism created ceilings and walls where there really were none.

Throughout the period when I was ridden by pessimism, my life and I mostly stood still. Looking back, it was a terrible waste. If you are in pessimistic place, you don’t have to stay there for the rest of your life. I didn’t, for I learned to replace my negative thinking with optimism.

In this article I’ll explore nine positivity habits that have helped me to go from someone who was pessimistic most of the time to someone who is now optimistic almost all the time. I recommend to not try to add all the habits at one go but to choose one habit and to practice it for 30 days so it becomes a habit, before adding the next.

1. Ask Yourself the Right Questions

This is the simplest but perhaps also the most important habit I have discovered in adopting an optimistic mindset. The questions we ask ourselves day in and day out when we wind up in negative, difficult or uncertain situations make all the difference in our life.

A pessimist might ask him/herself questions like:

  • “Why did this happen to me?”
  • “Why do bad things happen to me all the time?”

But an optimist asks him/herself the questions that open up the mind to new viewpoints and possibilities. A few of my favorite questions for finding the optimistic perspective are:

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  • “What is one good thing about this situation?”
  • “What can I learn from this situation?”
  • “What is one small step I can take today to start solving this situation?”

2. Create a Positive Environment to Live In

The people you spend your time with and the information you let influence your mind will have a huge effect on your attitude and how you think about things.

Watch this YouTube video and learn the power of a positive environment:

So choose to:

  • Spend more time with the people who lift you up. And less time – or no time – with people who just bring you down by being negative and critical. Read: You are the Average of the 5 People You Spend the Most Time With
  • Let in the information that supports you. Spend less time on negative and self-esteem damaging media sources and spend more time reading positive and constructive blogs and books, watching motivating movies, listening to inspirational songs, and listening to audio books and podcasts created by optimistic people. Check out 12 Inspirational Movies With Important Life Lessons To Learn and 25 Most Inspirational Songs of All Time.

3. Be Grateful for What You Have (Don’t Forget About Yourself Too)

A very simple and quick way to boost the positive energy in your life is to tap into gratitude.

I usually do it by asking one or more of these questions:

  1. What can I be grateful for in my life today?
  2. Who are 3 people that I can be grateful to have in my life and why?
  3. What are 3 things I can be grateful for about myself?

Just spend 60 seconds or a few minutes during your day with answering one of these questions to reap the wonderful benefits.

4. Don’t Forget About Your Physical Self

Being an optimist isn’t just about thinking in a different way. It is also about caring for the physical part of ourselves.

I have found that working out a couple of times a week, enough quality sleep each night and eating healthy food has a huge effect on my mindset.

If I mismanage those very basic things then negative thoughts pop up far more often and I become more pessimistic and shut down about the possibilities in my life.

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So don’t neglect these basic fundamentals. Just caring for your physical self the right way can minimize a whole bunch of problems in life.

5. Start Your Day in an Optimistic Way

The way you start your morning can set the tone for the rest of your day. For example, a stress-free morning often leads to less stress during the rest of the day.

So how can you set an optimistic tone for your day?

A three-step combination that has worked very well for me is to ask myself a gratitude question during breakfast, read some positive information online or in a book very early in the morning and then follow that up with exercising.

This sets my mind on the right path and fills me up with energy for my day.

6. Focus on Solutions

A sure way to feel more negative about a situation is to sit around and do nothing about it. Instead, use the questions I shared in step one and open up your mind to the possibilities of the situation you are in.

If you have trouble to get started with taking action, ask yourself:

What is one small step I can take today to get the ball rolling?

Then take that small step forward. However small this step is, it can have a big effect in your mood and thoughts. If the step feels too big or it just makes you procrastinate, then ask yourself:

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What is an even smaller step I can take to move forward today?

The most important thing is to move forward, even if it’s a tiny baby step.

7. Reduce Your Worries

The worrying habit is a powerful and destructive one and can take over anyone’s thinking. It used to be one of my biggest obstacles to optimism and to moving forward in life.

Two effective steps that have helped me and still help me to this day to minimize the worries are:

  1. Ask yourself: how many of my worries ever happened in reality? If you are like me you will find that the answer is: very few. Most of the things you fear throughout your life will never happen. They are just nightmares or monsters in your own mind. This question can help you to do a reality check, to calm down and to realize that you have most likely just been building another imaginary nightmare.
  2. Focus on solutions and the action you can take. The worries grow stronger in a foggy mind and an inactive body. So use the questions in Steps 1 and 6 to move out of your worries and into resolution.

8. Don’t Let Ideals Ruin Things

A common mistake people make when making a shift in their attitudes is that they think that they have be perfect and do things perfectly all the time. This traps them from being positive.

Changing to a positive attitude can be gradual. While you may slip and stumble, continuing this way over time will strengthen your positive viewpoint more and more.

But if you set an inhuman standard for yourself and think you have to go from being a pessimist to always being an optimist, then you may find it hard to live up to that. And so you may feel like a failure. You get angry with yourself. And you may even give up on changing this habit and fall back into negative thinking.

So instead, focus on gradual change. If you are optimistic 40% of the time right now, try to improve this to being optimistic 60% of the time. Then, increase that to 80% when you are used to the new standard, then subsequently 100% if you can.

This focus on gradual improvement is far more sustainable and likely to bring long-term success than trying to reach an inhuman standard grounded in perfection.

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9. Finally, a Reminder to Help You to Not Give Up

I would like to end this article with a simple but powerful and timeless thought that comforted and encouraged me to continue on when things looked bleak.

That thought is: It is always darkest before the dawn.

This thought has helped me to hold on and keep going when my social skills and dating life was just plain bad. It has helped me to continue on in my online business when things looked like they would never pick up. It has helped me to put one foot over another even when things looked dark.

I have found this thought to be very true. Why? Because when things seemed to be at the lowest for my blog, business, dating life or life in general, something positive would always happened. That’s probably because being at a low point forced me to change how I did things.

But maybe also because life has a way of evening itself out when I go on. By taking action rather than give up, something good will always happens.

Seeing this thought live itself out has strengthened my belief in staying optimistic, in taking action and to keep going even when going through rough patches.

Re-syndicated 9 Simple Habits to Stay Positive in Life | Personal Excellence

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Featured photo credit: Allie Smith via unsplash.com

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