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7 Ways for Successful Online Dating After 50

7 Ways for Successful Online Dating After 50

In the days past, people met Mr/Mrs right mostly in colleges, in a bar, through friends, family or even on the job. But today, we are witnessing a different phase. Increasingly, people are meeting on dating sites online .

Studies have shown that the fastest growing category of online dating services is the adult segment. As an older person looking for love and companionship, this can be a good option. But you need to practice caution.

Below are some effective ways for safe online dating;

1. You must be ready for the date

Before you can find a healthy relationship, you must be ready for a date. Don’t go in search of a date or involve in one if you are still getting over a past hurt or pains from a relation that never worked out.

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Before you can have a great dating adventure, you need to be open, feel positive and ready for the dating adventure. Never intend for a date to get over past relationship pains. You can never get the right date in this mood and state of mind. Worse still, you might end up with someone who only pities your status but does not genuinely love you.

2. Do your research

If you have made up your mind to try online dating as an option, please don’t just jump in and start having fun. Many negative issues have been reported about online dating sites.

Do your homework to research which dating site is best for you. There are dating sites “you pay to participate” while there are others “you freely participate”. You should know that fake identities can be easily created on free dating sites more easily than the other. You are safer where everyone uses a credit card and complete anonymity is never given a chance.

3. Involve your friends

Ensure to ask your friend’s opinion about your decision. Even during the process of signing up, they can help you meet potential dates by guiding you with your profile contents. What seems attractive to you might seem the opposite to them.

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They can help you choose a good profile picture, and fill up the data forms with positive information about yourself, like your hobbies and other interests. Let your friends have a review of your profile, before letting it go live.

4. Expand your options

When answering questions about what you are looking for on the dating site, please endeavor to elaborate your options. Some sites may ask what you do or don’t need in a date.

Giving too long answers may create chances of missing the most important ones, so just go straight to the most needed qualities or disqualifying ones and save the time.

Save the stress wanting to know if he has a master’s degree or owns a house. Whether he smokes, gambles or drinks, I think, should be more important. Guess you think that way too!

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5. Do away with platitude when setting up your profile

Common things people write about themselves may not portray your originality. This can be seen when you visit other people’s profiles and see what their hobbies are and what they like or don’t.

It’s ok to have common hobbies or experiences but ensure to display some originality or distinctive values. Whatever you write about yourself, ensure it portrays your choices and goals, and that it makes you distinct from others.

6. Be cautious and stay safe

Whether you meet someone or someone meets you, be cautious. At first, do try to talk on the mobile phone instead of using your home phone which can be traced to your home address.

Intending to meet face to face with a date? Please meet in a public place on a first date. An ideal place can be a coffee shop. Never let a date drive you anywhere or walk you to your vehicle in a secret or hidden place until you are confident he is what he says or know them better. It’s true that most people are well-meaning and genuine but this is not a risk you should take or you might end up with a very negative experience.

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7. Be patient

Online dating has this advantage of helping you meet people you could never have met otherwise. On the contrary, this could be a disadvantage too.

You are meeting people you really don’t know or what they have been all their life. What they tell you doesn’t make them genuine or honest. You don’t know anyone who can vouch for them.

Trusting people automatically have put many people in serious issues. This is the major reason why many people will speak ill of online dating. Even while meeting people face to face, it takes some time to know if people are really who they claim to be, so take your time. It doesn’t matter how sincere they claim to be.

You should be honest about what you want and expect that from date too. Some online daters are just out there to have fun, have a good time with no strings attached. Knowing what a date wants or what you want is a good guide to setting your boundaries.

Some people are so lucky to find the right person immediately when they sign up with an online dating site. This may not be everyone’s experience. It can take many dates to meet the right date for you and this is worth it at the end. You will definitely find that special person for you if you take your time and make the effort.

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Last Updated on January 15, 2021

7 Ways To Have More Confident Body Language

7 Ways To Have More Confident Body Language

The popular idiomatic saying that “actions speak louder than words” has been around for centuries, but even to this day, most people struggle with at least one area of nonverbal communication. Consequently, many of us aspire to have more confident body language but don’t have the knowledge and tools necessary to change what are largely unconscious behaviors.

Given that others’ perceptions of our competence and confidence are predominantly influenced by what we do with our faces and bodies, it’s important to develop greater self-awareness and consciously practice better posture, stance, eye contact, facial expressions, hand movements, and other aspects of body language.

Posture

First things first: how is your posture? Let’s start with a quick self-assessment of your body.

  • Are your shoulders slumped over or rolled back in an upright posture?
  • When you stand up, do you evenly distribute your weight or lean excessively to one side?
  • Does your natural stance place your feet relatively shoulder-width apart or are your feet and legs close together in a closed-off position?
  • When you sit, does your lower back protrude out in a slumped position or maintain a straight, spine-friendly posture in your seat?

All of these are important considerations to make when evaluating and improving your posture and stance, which will lead to more confident body language over time. If you routinely struggle with maintaining good posture, consider buying a posture trainer/corrector, consulting a chiropractor or physical therapist, stretching daily, and strengthening both your core and back muscles.

Facial Expressions

Are you prone to any of the following in personal or professional settings?

  • Bruxism (tight, clenched jaw or grinding teeth)
  • Frowning and/or furrowing brows
  • Avoiding direct eye contact and/or staring at the ground

If you answered “yes” to any of these, then let’s start by examining various ways in which you can project confident body language through your facial expressions.

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1. Understand How Others Perceive Your Facial Expressions

A December 2020 study by UC Berkeley and Google researchers utilized a deep neural network to analyze facial expressions in six million YouTube clips representing people from over 140 countries. The study found that, despite socio-cultural differences, people around the world tended to use about 70% of the same facial expressions in response to different emotional stimuli and situations.[1]

The study’s researchers also published a fascinating interactive map to demonstrate how their machine learning technology assessed various facial expressions and determined subtle differences in emotional responses.

This study highlights the social importance of facial expressions because whether or not we’re consciously aware of them—by gazing into a mirror or your screen on a video conferencing platform—how we present our faces to others can have tremendous impacts on their perceptions of us, our confidence, and our emotional states. This awareness is the essential first step towards

2. Relax Your Face

New research on bruxism and facial tension found the stresses and anxieties of Covid-19 lockdowns led to considerable increases in orofacial pain, jaw-clenching, and teeth grinding, particularly among women.[2]

The National Institute of Dental and Craniofacial Research estimates that more than 10 million Americans alone have temporomandibular joint dysfunction (TMJ syndrome), and facial tension can lead to other complications such as insomnia, wrinkles, dry skin, and dark, puffy bags under your eyes.[3])

To avoid these unpleasant outcomes, start practicing progressive muscle relaxation techniques and taking breaks more frequently throughout the day to moderate facial tension.[4] You should also try out some biofeedback techniques to enhance your awareness of involuntary bodily processes like facial tension and achieve more confident body language as a result.[5]

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3. Improve Your Eye Contact

Did you know there’s an entire subfield of kinesic communication research dedicated to eye movements and behaviors called oculesics?[6] It refers to various communication behaviors including direct eye contact, averting one’s gaze, pupil dilation/constriction, and even frequency of blinking. All of these qualities can shape how other people perceive you, which means that eye contact is yet another area of nonverbal body language that we should be more mindful of in social interactions.

The ideal type (direct/indirect) and duration of eye contact depends on a variety of factors, such as cultural setting, differences in power/authority/age between the parties involved, and communication context. Research has shown that differences in the effects of eye contact are particularly prominent when comparing East Asian and Western European/North American cultures.[7]

To improve your eye contact with others, strive to maintain consistent contact for at least 3 to 4 seconds at a time, consciously consider where you’re looking while listening to someone else, and practice eye contact as much as possible (as strange as this may seem in the beginning, it’s the best way to improve).

3. Smile More

There are many benefits to smiling and laughing, and when it comes to working on more confident body language, this is an area that should be fun, low-stakes, and relatively stress-free.

Smiling is associated with the “happiness chemical” dopamine and the mood-stabilizing hormone, serotonin. Many empirical studies have shown that smiling generally leads to positive outcomes for the person smiling, and further research has shown that smiling can influence listeners’ perceptions of our confidence and trustworthiness as well.

4. Hand Gestures

Similar to facial expressions and posture, what you do with your hands while speaking or listening in a conversation can significantly influence others’ perceptions of you in positive or negative ways.

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It’s undoubtedly challenging to consciously account for all of your nonverbal signals while simultaneously trying to stay engaged with the verbal part of the discussion, but putting in the effort to develop more bodily awareness now will make it much easier to unconsciously project more confident body language later on.

5. Enhance Your Handshake

In the article, “An Anthropology of the Handshake,” University of Copenhagen social anthropology professor Bjarke Oxlund assessed the future of handshaking in wake of the Covid-19 pandemic:[8]

“Handshakes not only vary in function and meaning but do so according to social context, situation and scale. . . a public discussion should ensue on the advantages and disadvantages of holding on to the tradition of shaking hands as the conventional gesture of greeting and leave-taking in a variety of circumstances.”

It’s too early to determine some of the ways in which Covid-19 has permanently changed our social norms and professional etiquette standards, but it’s reasonable to assume that handshaking may retain its importance in American society even after this pandemic. To practice more confident body language in the meantime, the video on the science of the perfect handshake below explains what you need to know.

6. Complement Your Verbals With Hand Gestures

As you know by now, confident communication involves so much more than simply smiling more or sounding like you know what you’re talking about. What you do with your hands can be particularly influential in how others perceive you, whether you’re fidgeting with an object, clenching your fists, hiding your hands in your pockets, or calmly gesturing to emphasize important points you’re discussing.

Social psychology researchers have found that “iconic gestures”—hand movements that appear to be meaningfully related to the speaker’s verbal content—can have profound impacts on listeners’ information retention. In other words, people are more likely to engage with you and remember more of what you said when you speak with complementary hand gestures instead of just your voice.[9]

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Further research on hand gestures has shown that even your choice of the left or right hand for gesturing can influence your ability to clearly convey information to listeners, which supports the notion that more confident body language is readily achievable through greater self-awareness and deliberate nonverbal actions.[10]

Final Takeaways

Developing better posture, enhancing your facial expressiveness, and practicing hand gestures can vastly improve your communication with other people. At first, it will be challenging to consciously practice nonverbal behaviors that many of us are accustomed to performing daily without thinking about them.

If you ever feel discouraged, however, remember that there’s no downside to consistently putting in just a little more time and effort to increase your bodily awareness. With the tips and strategies above, you’ll be well on your way to embracing more confident body language and amplifying others’ perceptions of you in no time.

More Tips on How to Develop a Confident Body Language

Featured photo credit: Maria Lupan via unsplash.com

Reference

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