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Understanding These Five Love Languages Can Reward You With The Perfect Relationship

Understanding These Five Love Languages Can Reward You With The Perfect Relationship

One of the most common relationship problems is struggling to express love to someone else. Lots of people love someone, but they struggle to express their love or meet their partner’s expectations of them. This can be extremely difficult for both people in the relationship, and both partners can end up feeling upset and unloved.

Although this commonly happens in romantic relationships, it isn’t limited to them; people often struggle to express love to their friends, family and co-workers too!

If you can have experienced this common relationship problem, don’t worry. Dr. Gary Chapman created the 5 languages of love to help people understand more about how they express love and emotion. Anyone can take the love language test to find out how they express their love, so they can start to have more loving relationships with other people.

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Do you want to find out how you communicate your emotions? Read on to find out how to have a healthy relationship using the 5 love languages.

1. Acts of Service

For some people, the most loving gesture you can make is doing something for them. You could help them out by offering to babysit for them, or you could offer to cook dinner for the family. It can even be a small thing, like doing the washing up or making them a cup of coffee.

If this is your partner’s primary love language, these small acts will mean the world to them. You may prefer to offer them kind words, but they won’t be impressed by this. To them, actions speak much louder than words. They would much rather hear you say “let me do that for you”, or “let me help you with that”.

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2. The Physical Touch

Other people have physical touch as their primary love language. Although this does include sex, it is not limited to it. This also includes holding hands, hugging, kissing and massaging. This person would much rather you touch them than offer to help them with an act of service. For instance, if they receive bad news, they would prefer a comforting hug to practical help or advice.

If you want to be better at physical touch, start small. Give your friend a hug whenever you see them, and kiss your partner whenever they leave. Make the effort to hold their hand when you are out together. It may not mean much to you, but to your partner, it means the world. To them, physical contact reaffirms your love and affection.

3. Quality Time

If your primary love language is quality time, that means you value getting and giving full, undivided attention. This doesn’t mean watching TV together or sitting on your phones together. It means putting everything else on standby so that you can sit down and verbally connect with each other.

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During this time you might discuss your careers, or your hopes and dreams; so long as it is something meaningful that makes you feel valued and loved. The main purpose of these conversations is togetherness, and if you don’t get to spend quality time together you will start to feel unloved and unappreciated.

4. Words of Affirmation

For some people, the most important love language is words of affirmation. For this person, actions don’t speak louder than words; words are very meaningful, and without positive comments, they might start to feel unhappy.

This person appreciates warm comments, such as “I love you” and “You can do this”. A kind word can make their whole day, and they feel low if their partner doesn’t make an effort to verbally express their love. They also hate being insulted. One offhand insult can ruin their week, so be careful with your words.

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5. Receiving Gifts

Receiving gifts is the final love language, but it shouldn’t be taken for materialism. This person cares more about the thought and effort put into the gift. For instance, they would prefer to receive a handmade card than a gift card from a shop.

Whenever this person receives a gift, they feel cared for and loved. If you miss their birthday or get a thoughtless gift, they are likely to be extremely insulted. To them, gift giving is the best way to express love, so to be forgotten about is very hurtful. Remember that this person isn’t impressed by money; they are impressed by people who are thoughtful and generous.

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Amy Johnson

Freelance writer, editor and social media manager.

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Last Updated on December 2, 2018

7 Public Speaking Techniques To Help Connect With Your Audience

7 Public Speaking Techniques To Help Connect With Your Audience

When giving a presentation or speech, you have to engage your audience effectively in order to truly get your point across. Unlike a written editorial or newsletter, your speech is fleeting; once you’ve said everything you set out to say, you don’t get a second chance to have your voice heard in that specific arena.

You need to make sure your audience hangs on to every word you say, from your introduction to your wrap-up. You can do so by:

1. Connecting them with each other

Picture your typical rock concert. What’s the first thing the singer says to the crowd after jumping out on stage? “Hello (insert city name here)!” Just acknowledging that he’s coherent enough to know where he is is enough for the audience to go wild and get into the show.

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It makes each individual feel as if they’re a part of something bigger. The same goes for any public speaking event. When an audience hears, “You’re all here because you care deeply about wildlife preservation,” it gives them a sense that they’re not just there to listen, but they’re there to connect with the like-minded people all around them.

2. Connect with their emotions

Speakers always try to get their audience emotionally involved in whatever topic they’re discussing. There are a variety of ways in which to do this, such as using statistics, stories, pictures or videos that really show the importance of the topic at hand.

For example, showing pictures of the aftermath of an accident related to drunk driving will certainly send a specific message to an audience of teenagers and young adults. While doing so might be emotionally nerve-racking to the crowd, it may be necessary to get your point across and engage them fully.

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3. Keep going back to the beginning

Revisit your theme throughout your presentation. Although you should give your audience the credit they deserve and know that they can follow along, linking back to your initial thesis can act as a subconscious reminder of why what you’re currently telling them is important.

On the other hand, if you simply mention your theme or the point of your speech at the beginning and never mention it again, it gives your audience the impression that it’s not really that important.

4. Link to your audience’s motivation

After you’ve acknowledged your audience’s common interests in being present, discuss their motivation for being there. Be specific. Using the previous example, if your audience clearly cares about wildlife preservation, discuss what can be done to help save endangered species’ from extinction.

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Don’t just give them cold, hard facts; use the facts to make a point that they can use to better themselves or the world in some way.

5. Entertain them

While not all speeches or presentations are meant to be entertaining in a comedic way, audiences will become thoroughly engaged in anecdotes that relate to the overall theme of the speech. We discussed appealing to emotions, and that’s exactly what a speaker sets out to do when he tells a story from his past or that of a well-known historical figure.

Speakers usually tell more than one story in order to show that the first one they told isn’t simply an anomaly, and that whatever outcome they’re attempting to prove will consistently reoccur, given certain circumstances.

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6. Appeal to loyalty

Just like the musician mentioning the town he’s playing in will get the audience ready to rock, speakers need to appeal to their audience’s loyalty to their country, company, product or cause. Show them how important it is that they’re present and listening to your speech by making your words hit home to each individual.

In doing so, the members of your audience will feel as if you’re speaking directly to them while you’re addressing the entire crowd.

7. Tell them the benefits of the presentation

Early on in your presentation, you should tell your audience exactly what they’ll learn, and exactly how they’ll learn it. Don’t expect them to listen if they don’t have clear-cut information to listen for. On the other hand, if they know what to listen for, they’ll be more apt to stay engaged throughout your entire presentation so they don’t miss anything.

Featured photo credit: Flickr via farm4.staticflickr.com

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