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Understanding These Five Love Languages Can Reward You With The Perfect Relationship

Understanding These Five Love Languages Can Reward You With The Perfect Relationship

One of the most common relationship problems is struggling to express love to someone else. Lots of people love someone, but they struggle to express their love or meet their partner’s expectations of them. This can be extremely difficult for both people in the relationship, and both partners can end up feeling upset and unloved.

Although this commonly happens in romantic relationships, it isn’t limited to them; people often struggle to express love to their friends, family and co-workers too!

If you can have experienced this common relationship problem, don’t worry. Dr. Gary Chapman created the 5 languages of love to help people understand more about how they express love and emotion. Anyone can take the love language test to find out how they express their love, so they can start to have more loving relationships with other people.

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Do you want to find out how you communicate your emotions? Read on to find out how to have a healthy relationship using the 5 love languages.

1. Acts of Service

For some people, the most loving gesture you can make is doing something for them. You could help them out by offering to babysit for them, or you could offer to cook dinner for the family. It can even be a small thing, like doing the washing up or making them a cup of coffee.

If this is your partner’s primary love language, these small acts will mean the world to them. You may prefer to offer them kind words, but they won’t be impressed by this. To them, actions speak much louder than words. They would much rather hear you say “let me do that for you”, or “let me help you with that”.

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2. The Physical Touch

Other people have physical touch as their primary love language. Although this does include sex, it is not limited to it. This also includes holding hands, hugging, kissing and massaging. This person would much rather you touch them than offer to help them with an act of service. For instance, if they receive bad news, they would prefer a comforting hug to practical help or advice.

If you want to be better at physical touch, start small. Give your friend a hug whenever you see them, and kiss your partner whenever they leave. Make the effort to hold their hand when you are out together. It may not mean much to you, but to your partner, it means the world. To them, physical contact reaffirms your love and affection.

3. Quality Time

If your primary love language is quality time, that means you value getting and giving full, undivided attention. This doesn’t mean watching TV together or sitting on your phones together. It means putting everything else on standby so that you can sit down and verbally connect with each other.

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During this time you might discuss your careers, or your hopes and dreams; so long as it is something meaningful that makes you feel valued and loved. The main purpose of these conversations is togetherness, and if you don’t get to spend quality time together you will start to feel unloved and unappreciated.

4. Words of Affirmation

For some people, the most important love language is words of affirmation. For this person, actions don’t speak louder than words; words are very meaningful, and without positive comments, they might start to feel unhappy.

This person appreciates warm comments, such as “I love you” and “You can do this”. A kind word can make their whole day, and they feel low if their partner doesn’t make an effort to verbally express their love. They also hate being insulted. One offhand insult can ruin their week, so be careful with your words.

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5. Receiving Gifts

Receiving gifts is the final love language, but it shouldn’t be taken for materialism. This person cares more about the thought and effort put into the gift. For instance, they would prefer to receive a handmade card than a gift card from a shop.

Whenever this person receives a gift, they feel cared for and loved. If you miss their birthday or get a thoughtless gift, they are likely to be extremely insulted. To them, gift giving is the best way to express love, so to be forgotten about is very hurtful. Remember that this person isn’t impressed by money; they are impressed by people who are thoughtful and generous.

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Amy Johnson

Amy is a writer who blogs about relationships and lifestyle advice.

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Last Updated on June 26, 2020

10 Things To Remember When Everything Goes Wrong

10 Things To Remember When Everything Goes Wrong

Problems and heartaches in life are inevitable. However, there are some things to remember when you’re right in the thick of it that can help you get through it. When everything seems to be going wrong, practice telling yourself these things.

1. This Too Shall Pass

Sometimes life’s rough patches feel like they’re going to last forever. Whether you’re dealing with work-related issues, family problems, or stressful situations, very few problems last for a lifetime. So remind yourself, that things won’t be this bad forever.

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2. Some Things are Going Right

When things are going wrong, it’s hard to recognize what is going right. It’s easy to screen out the good things and only focus on the bad things. Remind yourself that some things are going right. Purposely look for the positive, even if it is something very small.

3. I Have Some Control

One of the most most important things to remember is that you have some control of the situation. Even if you aren’t in complete control of the situation, one thing you can always control is your attitude and reaction. Focus on managing what is within your control.

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4. I Can Ask for Help

Asking for help can be hard sometimes. However, it’s one of the best ways to deal with tough situations. Tell people what you need specifically if they offer to help. Don’t be afraid to call on friends and family and ask them for help, whether you need financial assistance, emotional support, or practical help.

5. Much of This Won’t Matter in a Few Years

Most of the problems we worry about today won’t actually matter five years from now. Remind yourself that whatever is going wrong now is only a small percentage of your actual life. Even if you’re dealing with a major problem, like a loved one’s illness, remember that a lot of good things are likely to happen in the course of a year or two as well.

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6. I Can Handle This

A lack of confidence in handling tough times can add to stress. One of the best things to remember is that you can handle tough situations. Even though you might feel angry, hurt, disappointed, or sad, it won’t kill you. You can get through it.

7. Something Good Will Come Out of This

No matter how bad a situation is, it’s almost certain that something good will come out of it. At the very least, it’s likely that you will learn a life lesson. Perhaps you learn not to repeat the same mistake in the future or maybe you move on from a bad situation and find something better. Look for the one good thing that can result when bad things happen.

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8. I Can Accept What’s Out of my Control

There are many things that aren’t within your control. You can’t change the past, another person’s behavior, or a loved one’s health issues. Don’t waste time trying to force others to change or trying to make things be different if it isn’t within your control. Investing time and energy into trying to things you can’t will cause you to feel helpless and exhausted. Acceptance is one of the best way to establish resilience.

9. I Have Overcome Past Difficulties

One of the things to remember when you’re facing difficulties, is that you’ve handled problems in the past. Don’t overlook past difficulties that you’ve dealt with successfully. Remind yourself of all the past problems you’ve overcome and you’ll gain confidence in dealing with the current issues.

10. I Need to Take Care of Myself

When everything seems to be going wrong, take care of yourself. Get plenty of rest, get some exercise, eat healthy, and spend some time doing leisure activities. When you’re taking better care of yourself you’ll be better equipped to deal with your problems.

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Featured photo credit: NeONBRAND via unsplash.com

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