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6 Hacks for Successful Senior Dating at 55+

6 Hacks for Successful Senior Dating at 55+

 As to the reasons why many individuals both younger and the seniors don’t date, this can be traced to many individual perspectives. Over 55 percent feels and believe they don’t need a relationship before they can be happy. Well, this is very true, no matter your age. However, over 40 percent also believe that there is no one out there really suitable for a date. Also, more than 28 percent says they are often lost as to where to start a date from while others say it’s too stressful to be involved in a date.

Still, many others place priorities on things they think are more important than dating while the rest confesses that it’s just too difficult to date when one is over 55.

Dating after 55

Judging from positive contributions, the 55+ daters appear to be smarter when choosing a date partner. Speaking frankly, over 60 percent acknowledged that they make better choices now when compared to their younger ages. About 42 percent of senior daters said that they have better and quality dates at the moment and over 52 percent reveals that the most interesting part of dating in the 50s is the stress-free thought about meeting biological needs, which is a thing of the past.

Many individuals need friends or life partners. And, over 80 percent of the 55+ daters take to the old fashioned ways to meet dates that may fulfill this choice. Many meet their dates through family and friends while one-quarter of the 55+ daters use seniors online dating sites.

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Involving in a date after 45 or 55 simply means taking full control over your love life just like you’ve always done the rest of your life. It means making reasonable and perfect choices. However, it needs just as much care as ever.

The 6 Key guides for 55+ daters:

1. Never bond over your baggage

Bonding over baggage simply means going into too deep conversations at an early date. Trying to know everything about your date as to their past life experiences, what happened with their marriage or how online dating has been for them?

Starting a date with awful ex-spouses date comparison may not really do much good for your date. Nothing positive can come from these topics so stay clear of them. If they worth talking about, it shouldn’t be at the first date. Keep them until you’ve known each other better

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2. If he doesn’t call you, don’t call him

Especially for the senior women, please keep this in your mind. Yes, you had a great date and he promised to call you. You definitely want to see him again because the experience is unforgettable, but if he hasn’t called you when he promised to, don’t call him. This might be so tempting and I know this

This might be so tempting and I know this quite well, but please don’t do it. Men know what and who they want much better than women do and this is categorically true for the senior men. He definitely won’t forget to call if he really meant it. I know your younger age at 25 would want to find everything out but this is a grown-up. He has enough time to call or show up if he desires to.

3. Sex is not the agenda

At 55, I know you are matured enough, competent and smart but the last thing you want to see is having back the memories of your 20s.

The reason for your date at 55+ is not for sex but just for a good companion or life partners. Take care of yourselves by bringing up conversations where you share your wants and needs. A matured grown-up man or woman will appreciate and respect this kind of relationship. If your date is not satisfied with this, it’s better to cut it off as soon as possible or not even start one at all.

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4. Check out three three things you like about your date

Their behaviors, their smiles, their fashion sense or how they put their kids in your discussions. Focus first on the positives and keep inquiring more about him before trying to see the negatives or why he is not OK for you.

Starting with the positives keeps them open to reveal their true self but if you start with negatives, they may turn conservative hiding their true negative nature.

5. Flirt like a grown-up

It is very true that men like grown up women who flirt. Ensure to keep your body languages open, smile often and responsibly, play with your hair. Now here is the biggest flirt of all; compliment your man.

Bring up your femininity at every date. This is what women have and what men desire most.

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6. Be attentive and manage the conversation

Especially for the woman, take full control of the conversation and make sure it never diverts to unwelcome topics. Take the chance to talk about yourself in a meaningful way too. This is what he remembers when he walks away.

You might not have a chance for a second date if you give him nothing to remember about you. Do you wonder why you should talk about yourself most? This is because you are better talking about self than him. If you can do this, you both will enjoy the date and have memories that call for a second chance.

If you appear to your date as happy, open and charming as you always are, it brings out the best in him and ensures that you both have a wonderful time possible. Always keep in mind that there is something valuable to learn from every date.

Featured photo credit: www.thinkstockphotos.ca via meetville.com

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MICHAEL LILY

Writer/entrepreneural development specialist

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Last Updated on March 14, 2019

7 Questions to Ask in a Job Interview That Will Impress the Interviewer

7 Questions to Ask in a Job Interview That Will Impress the Interviewer

Recruiters might hold thousands of interviews in their careers and a lot of them are reporting the same thing—that most candidates play it safe with the questions they ask, or have no questions to ask in a job interview at all.

For job applicants, this approach is crazy! This is a job that you’re going to dedicate a lot of hours to and that might have a huge impact on your future career. Don’t throw away the chance to figure out if the position is perfect for you.

Here are 7 killer questions to ask in a job interview that will both impress your counterpart and give you some really useful insights into whether this job will be a dream … or a nightmare.

1. What are some challenges I might come up against this role?

A lesser candidate might ask, “what does a typical day look like in this role?” While this is a perfectly reasonable question to ask in an interview, focusing on potential challenges takes you much further because it indicates that you already are visualizing yourself in the role.

It’s impressive because it shows that you are not afraid of challenges, and you are prepared to strategize a game plan upfront to make sure you succeed if you get the job.

It can also open up a conversation about how you’ve solved problems in the past which can be a reassuring exercise for both you and the hiring manager.

How it helps you:

If you ask the interviewer to describe a typical day, you may get a vibrant picture of all the lovely things you’ll get to do in this job and all the lovely people you’ll get to do them with.

Asking about potential roadblocks means you hear the other side of the story—dysfunctional teams, internal politics, difficult clients, bootstrap budgets and so on. This can help you decide if you’re up for the challenge or whether, for the sake of your sanity, you should respectfully decline the job offer.

2. What are the qualities of really successful people in this role?

Employers don’t want to hire someone who goes through the motions; they want to hire someone who will excel.

Asking this question shows that you care about success, too. How could they not hire you with a dragon-slayer attitude like that?

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How it helps you:

Interviewers hire people who are great people to work with, but the definition of “great people” differs from person to person.

Does this company hire and promote people with a specific attitude, approach, worth ethic or communication style? Are the most successful people in this role strong extroverts who love to talk and socialize when you are studious and reserved? Does the company reward those who work insane hours when you’re happiest in a more relaxed environment?

If so, then this may not be the right match for you.

Whatever the answer is, you can decide whether you have what it takes for the manager to be happy with your performance in this role. And if the interviewer has no idea what success looks like for this position, this is a sign to proceed with extreme caution.

3. From the research I did on your company, I noticed the culture really supports XYZ. Can you tell me more about that element of the culture and how it impacts this job role?

Of course, you could just ask “what is the culture like here? ” but then you would miss a great opportunity to show that you’ve done your research!

Interviewers give BIG bonus point to those who read up and pay attention, and you’ve just pointed out that (a) you’re diligent in your research (b) you care about the company culture and (c) you’re committed to finding a great cultural fit.

How it helps you:

This question is so useful because it lets you pick an element of the culture that you really care about and that will have the most impact on whether you are happy with the organization.

For example, if training and development is important to you, then you need to know what’s on offer so you don’t end up in a dead-end job with no learning opportunities.

Companies often talk a good talk, and their press releases may be full of shiny CSR initiatives and all the headline-grabbing diversity programs they’re putting in place. This is your opportunity to look under the hood and see if the company lives its values on the ground.

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A company that says it is committed to doing the right thing by customers should not judge success by the number of up-sells an employee makes, for instance. Look for consistency, so you aren’t in for a culture shock after you start.

4. What is the promotion path for this role, and how would my performance on that path be measured?

To be clear, you are not asking when you will get promoted. Don’t go there—it’s presumptuous, and it indicates that you think you are better than the role you have applied for.

A career-minded candidate, on the other hand, usually has a plan that she’s working towards. This question shows you have a great drive toward growth and advancement and an intention to stick with the company beyond your current state.

How it helps you:

One word: hierarchy.

All organizations have levels of work and authority—executives, upper managers, line managers, the workforce, and so on. Understanding the hierarchical structure gives you power, because you can decide if you can work within it and are capable of climbing through its ranks, or whether it will be endlessly frustrating to you.

In a traditional pyramid hierarchy, for example, the people at the bottom tend to have very little autonomy to make decisions. This gets better as you rise up through the pyramid, but even middle managers have little power to create policy; they are more concerned with enforcing the rules the top leaders make.

If having a high degree of autonomy and accountability is important to you, you may do better in a flat hierarchy where work teams can design their own way of achieving the corporate goals.

5. What’s the most important thing the successful candidate could accomplish in their first 3 months/6 months/year?

Of all the questions to ask in a job interview, this one is impressive because it shows that you identify with and want to be a successful performer, and not just an average one.

Here, you’re drilling down into what the company needs, and needs quite urgently, proving that you’re all about adding value to the organization and not just about what’s in it for you.

How it helps you:

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Most job descriptions come with 8, 10 or 12 different job responsibilities and a lot of them with be boilerplate or responsibilities that someone in HR thinks are associated with this role. This question gives you a better sense of which responsibilities are the most important—and they may not be what initially attracted you to the role.

If you like the idea of training juniors, for example, but success is judged purely on your sales figures, then is this really the job you thought you were applying for?

This question will also give you an idea of what kind of learning curve you’re expected to have and whether you’ll get any ramp-up time before getting down to business. If you’re the type of person who likes to jump right in and get things done, for instance, you may not be thrilled to hear that you’re going to spend the first three months shadowing a peer.

6. What do you like about working here?

This simple question is all about building rapport with the interviewer. People like to talk about themselves, and the interviewer will be flattered that you’re interested in her opinions.

Hopefully, you’ll find some great connection points that the two of you share. What similar things drive you head into the office each day? How will you fit into the culture?

How it helps you:

You can learn a lot from this question. Someone who genuinely enjoys his job will be able to list several things they like, and their answers will sound passionate and sincere. If not….well, you might consider that a red flag.

Since you potentially can learn a lot about the company culture from this question, it’s a good idea to figure out upfront what’s important to you. Maybe you’re looking for a hands-off boss who values independent thought and creativity? Maybe you work better in environments that move at a rapid, exciting pace?

Whatever’s important to you, listen carefully and see if you can find any common ground.

7. Based on this interview, do you have any questions or concerns about my qualifications for the role?

What a great closing question to ask in a job interview! It shows that you’re not afraid of feedback—in fact, you are inviting it. Not being able to take criticism is a red flag for employers, who need to know that you’ll act on any “coaching moments” with a good heart.

As a bonus, asking this question shows that you are really interested in the position and wish to clear up anything that may be holding the company back from hiring you.

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How it helps you:

What a devious beast this question is! On the surface, it looks straightforward, but it’s actually giving you four key pieces of information.

First, is the manager capable of giving you feedback when put on the spot like this? Some managers are scared of giving feedback, or don’t think it’s important enough to bother outside of a formal performance appraisal. Do you want to work for a boss like that? How will you improve if no one is telling you what you did wrong?

Second, can the manager give feedback in a constructive way without being too pillowy or too confrontational? It’s unfair to expect the interviewer to have figured out your preferred way of receiving feedback in the space of an interview, but if she come back with a machine-gun fire of shortcomings or one of those corporate feedback “sandwiches” (the doozy slipped between two slices of compliment), then you need to ask yourself, can you work with someone who gives feedback like that?

Third, you get to learn the things the hiring manager is concerned about before you leave the interview. This gives you the chance to make a final, tailored sales pitch so you can convince the interviewer that she should not be worried about those things.

Fourth, you get to learn the things the hiring manager is concerned about period. If turnover is keeping him up at night, then your frequent job hopping might get a lot of additional scrutiny. If he’s facing some issues with conflict or communication, then he might raise concerns regarding your performance in this area.

Listen carefully: the concerns that are being raised about you might actually be a proxy for problems in the wider organization.

Making Your Interview Work for You

Interviews are a two-way street. While it is important to differentiate yourself from every other candidate, understand that convincing the interviewer you’re the right person for the role goes hand-in-hand with figuring out if the job is the right fit for you.

Would you feel happy in a work environment where the people, priorities, culture and management style were completely at odds with the way you work? Didn’t think so!

More Resources About Job Interviews

Featured photo credit: Amy Hirschi via unsplash.com

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