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6 Hacks for Successful Senior Dating at 55+

6 Hacks for Successful Senior Dating at 55+

 As to the reasons why many individuals both younger and the seniors don’t date, this can be traced to many individual perspectives. Over 55 percent feels and believe they don’t need a relationship before they can be happy. Well, this is very true, no matter your age. However, over 40 percent also believe that there is no one out there really suitable for a date. Also, more than 28 percent says they are often lost as to where to start a date from while others say it’s too stressful to be involved in a date.

Still, many others place priorities on things they think are more important than dating while the rest confesses that it’s just too difficult to date when one is over 55.

Dating after 55

Judging from positive contributions, the 55+ daters appear to be smarter when choosing a date partner. Speaking frankly, over 60 percent acknowledged that they make better choices now when compared to their younger ages. About 42 percent of senior daters said that they have better and quality dates at the moment and over 52 percent reveals that the most interesting part of dating in the 50s is the stress-free thought about meeting biological needs, which is a thing of the past.

Many individuals need friends or life partners. And, over 80 percent of the 55+ daters take to the old fashioned ways to meet dates that may fulfill this choice. Many meet their dates through family and friends while one-quarter of the 55+ daters use seniors online dating sites.

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Involving in a date after 45 or 55 simply means taking full control over your love life just like you’ve always done the rest of your life. It means making reasonable and perfect choices. However, it needs just as much care as ever.

The 6 Key guides for 55+ daters:

1. Never bond over your baggage

Bonding over baggage simply means going into too deep conversations at an early date. Trying to know everything about your date as to their past life experiences, what happened with their marriage or how online dating has been for them?

Starting a date with awful ex-spouses date comparison may not really do much good for your date. Nothing positive can come from these topics so stay clear of them. If they worth talking about, it shouldn’t be at the first date. Keep them until you’ve known each other better

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2. If he doesn’t call you, don’t call him

Especially for the senior women, please keep this in your mind. Yes, you had a great date and he promised to call you. You definitely want to see him again because the experience is unforgettable, but if he hasn’t called you when he promised to, don’t call him. This might be so tempting and I know this

This might be so tempting and I know this quite well, but please don’t do it. Men know what and who they want much better than women do and this is categorically true for the senior men. He definitely won’t forget to call if he really meant it. I know your younger age at 25 would want to find everything out but this is a grown-up. He has enough time to call or show up if he desires to.

3. Sex is not the agenda

At 55, I know you are matured enough, competent and smart but the last thing you want to see is having back the memories of your 20s.

The reason for your date at 55+ is not for sex but just for a good companion or life partners. Take care of yourselves by bringing up conversations where you share your wants and needs. A matured grown-up man or woman will appreciate and respect this kind of relationship. If your date is not satisfied with this, it’s better to cut it off as soon as possible or not even start one at all.

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4. Check out three three things you like about your date

Their behaviors, their smiles, their fashion sense or how they put their kids in your discussions. Focus first on the positives and keep inquiring more about him before trying to see the negatives or why he is not OK for you.

Starting with the positives keeps them open to reveal their true self but if you start with negatives, they may turn conservative hiding their true negative nature.

5. Flirt like a grown-up

It is very true that men like grown up women who flirt. Ensure to keep your body languages open, smile often and responsibly, play with your hair. Now here is the biggest flirt of all; compliment your man.

Bring up your femininity at every date. This is what women have and what men desire most.

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6. Be attentive and manage the conversation

Especially for the woman, take full control of the conversation and make sure it never diverts to unwelcome topics. Take the chance to talk about yourself in a meaningful way too. This is what he remembers when he walks away.

You might not have a chance for a second date if you give him nothing to remember about you. Do you wonder why you should talk about yourself most? This is because you are better talking about self than him. If you can do this, you both will enjoy the date and have memories that call for a second chance.

If you appear to your date as happy, open and charming as you always are, it brings out the best in him and ensures that you both have a wonderful time possible. Always keep in mind that there is something valuable to learn from every date.

Featured photo credit: www.thinkstockphotos.ca via meetville.com

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More by this author

MICHAEL LILY

Writer/entrepreneural development specialist

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Published on May 18, 2021

How To Improve Listening Skills For Effective Workplace Communication

How To Improve Listening Skills For Effective Workplace Communication

We have two ears and one mouth for a reason—effective communication is dependent on using them in proportion, and this involves having good listening skills.

The workplace of the 21st century may not look the same as it did before COVID-19 spread throughout the world like wildfire, but that doesn’t mean you can relax your standards at work. If anything, Zoom meetings, conference calls, and the continuous time spent behind a screen have created a higher level of expectations for meeting etiquette and communication. And this goes further than simply muting your microphone during a meeting.

Effective workplace communication has been a topic of discussion for decades, yet, it is rarely addressed or implemented due to a lack of awareness and personal ownership by all parties.

Effective communication isn’t just about speaking clearly or finding the appropriate choice of words. It starts with intentional listening and being present. Here’s how to improve your listening skills for effective workplace communication.

Listen to Understand, Not to Speak

There are stark differences between listening and hearing. Listening involves intention, focused effort, and concentration, whereas hearing simply involves low-level awareness that someone else is speaking. Listening is a voluntary activity that allows one to be present and in the moment while hearing is passive and effortless.[1]

Which one would you prefer your colleagues to implement during your company-wide presentation? It’s a no-brainer.

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Listening can be one of the most powerful tools in your communication arsenal because one must listen to understand the message being told to them. As a result of this deeper understanding, communication can be streamlined because there is a higher level of comprehension that will facilitate practical follow-up questions, conversations, and problem-solving. And just because you heard something doesn’t mean you actually understood it.

We take this for granted daily, but that doesn’t mean we can use that as an excuse.

Your brain is constantly scanning your environment for threats, opportunities, and situations to advance your ability to promote your survival. And yet, while we are long past the days of worrying about being eaten by wildlife, the neurocircuitry responsible for these mechanisms is still hard-wired into our psychology and neural processing.

A classic example of this is the formation of memories. Case in point: where were you on June 3rd, 2014? For most of you reading this article, your mind will go completely blank, which isn’t necessarily bad.

The brain is far too efficient to retain every detail about every event that happens in your life, mainly because many events that occur aren’t always that important. The brain doesn’t—and shouldn’t—care what you ate for lunch three weeks ago or what color shirt you wore golfing last month. But for those of you who remember where you were on June 3rd, 2014, this date probably holds some sort of significance to you. Maybe it was a birthday or an anniversary. Perhaps it was the day your child was born. It could have even been a day where you lost someone special in your life.

Regardless of the circumstance, the brain is highly stimulated through emotion and engagement, which is why memories are usually stored in these situations. When the brain’s emotional centers become activated, the brain is far more likely to remember an event.[2] And this is also true when intention and focus are applied to listening to a conversation.

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Utilizing these hard-wired primitive pathways of survival to optimize your communication in the workplace is a no-brainer—literally and figuratively.

Intentional focus and concentrated efforts will pay off in the long run because you will retain more information and have an easier time recalling it down the road, making you look like a superstar in front of your colleagues and co-workers. Time to kiss those note-taking days away!

Effective Communication Isn’t Always Through Words

While we typically associate communication with words and verbal affirmations, communication can come in all shapes and forms. In the Zoom meeting era we live in, it has become far more challenging to utilize and understand these other forms of language. And this is because they are typically easier to see when we are sitting face to face with the person we speak to.[3]

Body language can play a significant role in how our words and communication are interpreted, especially when there is a disconnection involved.[4] When someone tells you one thing, yet their body language screams something completely different, it’s challenging to let that go. Our brain immediately starts to search for more information and inevitably prompts us to follow up with questions that will provide greater clarity to the situation at hand. And in all reality, not saying something might be just as important as actually saying something.

These commonly overlooked non-verbal communication choices can provide a plethora of information about the intentions, emotions, and motivations. We do this unconsciously, and it happens with every confrontation, conversation, and interaction we engage in. The magic lies in the utilization and active interpretation of these signals to improve your listening skills and your communication skills.

Our brains were designed for interpreting our world, which is why we are so good at recognizing subtle nuances and underlying disconnect within our casual encounters. So, when we begin to notice conflicting messages between verbal and non-verbal communication, our brain takes us down a path of troubleshooting.

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Which messages are consistent with this theme over time? Which statements aren’t aligning with what they’re really trying to tell me? How should I interpret their words and body language?

Suppose we want to break things down even further. In that case, one must understand that body language is usually a subconscious event, meaning that we rarely think about our body language. This happens because our brain’s primary focus is to string together words and phrases for verbal communication, which usually requires a higher level of processing. This doesn’t mean that body language will always tell the truth, but it does provide clues to help us weigh information, which can be pretty beneficial in the long run.

Actively interpreting body language can provide you with an edge in your communication skills. It can also be used as a tool to connect with the individual you are speaking to. This process is deeply ingrained into our human fabric and utilizes similar methods babies use while learning new skills from their parents’ traits during the early years of development.

Mirroring a person’s posture or stance can create a subtle bond, facilitating a sense of feeling like one another. This process is triggered via the activation of specific brain regions through the stimulation of specialized neurons called mirror neurons.[5] These particular neurons become activated while watching an individual engage in an activity or task, facilitating learning, queuing, and understanding. They also allow the person watching an action to become more efficient at physically executing the action, creating changes in the brain, and altering the overall structure of the brain to enhance output for that chosen activity.

Listening with intention can make you understand your colleague, and when paired together with mirroring body language, you can make your colleague feel like you two are alike. This simple trick can facilitate a greater bond of understanding and communication within all aspects of the conversation.

Eliminate All Distractions, Once and for All

As Jim Rohn says, “What is easy to do is also easy not to do.” And this is an underlying principle that will carry through in all aspects of communication. Distractions are a surefire way to ensure a lack of understanding or interpretation of a conversation, which in turn, will create inefficiencies and a poor foundation for communication.

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This should come as no surprise, especially in this day in age where people are constantly distracted by social media, text messaging, and endlessly checking their emails. We’re stuck in a cultural norm that has hijacked our love for the addictive dopamine rush and altered our ability to truly focus our efforts on the task at hand. And these distractions aren’t just distractions for the time they’re being used. They use up coveted brainpower and central processes that secondarily delay our ability to get back on track.

Gloria Mark, a researcher at UC Irvine, discovered that it takes an average of 23 minutes and 15 seconds for our brains to reach their peak state of focus after an interruption.[6] Yes, you read that correctly—distractions are costly, error-prone, and yield little to no benefit outside of a bump to the ego when receiving a new like on your social media profile.

Meetings should implement a no-phone policy, video conference calls should be set on their own browser with no other tabs open, and all updates, notifications, and email prompt should be immediately turned off, if possible, to eliminate all distractions during a meeting.

These are just a few examples of how we can optimize our environment to facilitate the highest levels of communication within the workplace.

Actions Speak Louder Than Words

Effective communication in the workplace doesn’t have to be challenging, but it does have to be intentional. Knowledge can only take us so far, but once again, knowing something is very different than putting it into action.

Just like riding a bike, the more often you do it, the easier it becomes. Master communicators are phenomenal listeners, which allows them to be effective communicators in the workplace and in life. If you genuinely want to own your communication, you must implement this information today and learn how to improve your listening skills.

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Choose your words carefully, listen intently, and most of all, be present in the moment—because that’s what master communicators do, and you can do it, too!

More Tips Improving Listening Skills

Featured photo credit: Mailchimp via unsplash.com

Reference

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