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6 Hacks for Successful Senior Dating at 55+

6 Hacks for Successful Senior Dating at 55+

 As to the reasons why many individuals both younger and the seniors don’t date, this can be traced to many individual perspectives. Over 55 percent feels and believe they don’t need a relationship before they can be happy. Well, this is very true, no matter your age. However, over 40 percent also believe that there is no one out there really suitable for a date. Also, more than 28 percent says they are often lost as to where to start a date from while others say it’s too stressful to be involved in a date.

Still, many others place priorities on things they think are more important than dating while the rest confesses that it’s just too difficult to date when one is over 55.

Dating after 55

Judging from positive contributions, the 55+ daters appear to be smarter when choosing a date partner. Speaking frankly, over 60 percent acknowledged that they make better choices now when compared to their younger ages. About 42 percent of senior daters said that they have better and quality dates at the moment and over 52 percent reveals that the most interesting part of dating in the 50s is the stress-free thought about meeting biological needs, which is a thing of the past.

Many individuals need friends or life partners. And, over 80 percent of the 55+ daters take to the old fashioned ways to meet dates that may fulfill this choice. Many meet their dates through family and friends while one-quarter of the 55+ daters use seniors online dating sites.

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Involving in a date after 45 or 55 simply means taking full control over your love life just like you’ve always done the rest of your life. It means making reasonable and perfect choices. However, it needs just as much care as ever.

The 6 Key guides for 55+ daters:

1. Never bond over your baggage

Bonding over baggage simply means going into too deep conversations at an early date. Trying to know everything about your date as to their past life experiences, what happened with their marriage or how online dating has been for them?

Starting a date with awful ex-spouses date comparison may not really do much good for your date. Nothing positive can come from these topics so stay clear of them. If they worth talking about, it shouldn’t be at the first date. Keep them until you’ve known each other better

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2. If he doesn’t call you, don’t call him

Especially for the senior women, please keep this in your mind. Yes, you had a great date and he promised to call you. You definitely want to see him again because the experience is unforgettable, but if he hasn’t called you when he promised to, don’t call him. This might be so tempting and I know this

This might be so tempting and I know this quite well, but please don’t do it. Men know what and who they want much better than women do and this is categorically true for the senior men. He definitely won’t forget to call if he really meant it. I know your younger age at 25 would want to find everything out but this is a grown-up. He has enough time to call or show up if he desires to.

3. Sex is not the agenda

At 55, I know you are matured enough, competent and smart but the last thing you want to see is having back the memories of your 20s.

The reason for your date at 55+ is not for sex but just for a good companion or life partners. Take care of yourselves by bringing up conversations where you share your wants and needs. A matured grown-up man or woman will appreciate and respect this kind of relationship. If your date is not satisfied with this, it’s better to cut it off as soon as possible or not even start one at all.

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4. Check out three three things you like about your date

Their behaviors, their smiles, their fashion sense or how they put their kids in your discussions. Focus first on the positives and keep inquiring more about him before trying to see the negatives or why he is not OK for you.

Starting with the positives keeps them open to reveal their true self but if you start with negatives, they may turn conservative hiding their true negative nature.

5. Flirt like a grown-up

It is very true that men like grown up women who flirt. Ensure to keep your body languages open, smile often and responsibly, play with your hair. Now here is the biggest flirt of all; compliment your man.

Bring up your femininity at every date. This is what women have and what men desire most.

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6. Be attentive and manage the conversation

Especially for the woman, take full control of the conversation and make sure it never diverts to unwelcome topics. Take the chance to talk about yourself in a meaningful way too. This is what he remembers when he walks away.

You might not have a chance for a second date if you give him nothing to remember about you. Do you wonder why you should talk about yourself most? This is because you are better talking about self than him. If you can do this, you both will enjoy the date and have memories that call for a second chance.

If you appear to your date as happy, open and charming as you always are, it brings out the best in him and ensures that you both have a wonderful time possible. Always keep in mind that there is something valuable to learn from every date.

Featured photo credit: www.thinkstockphotos.ca via meetville.com

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MICHAEL LILY

Writer/entrepreneural development specialist

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Published on September 23, 2020

6 Effective Negotiation Skills to Master

6 Effective Negotiation Skills to Master

I don’t know about you, but many times when I hear the word negotiate I think of lawyers working out a business deal or having to do battle with a car salesman to try to get a lower price. Since I am in recruiting, the term “negotiation” comes up when someone is attempting to get a higher compensation package.

If we think about it, we tend to negotiate almost every day in a wide variety of things we do. Getting a handle on the important negotiation skills can be incredibly beneficial in many parts of our lives. Let’s take a look at 6 effective negotiation skills to master.

What is Negotiation?

First, let’s take a look at what negotiation is. Put simply, negotiation is a method by which people settle their differences. It is a process in which compromise or agreement can be reached without argument or dispute.

Anytime two people or sides disagree on something, they are almost always looking for the best possible outcome for their side. This could be from an individual’s perspective or someone representing an organization.

In reality, it’s rare that one side gets everything they want and the other side gets nothing that they are seeking. Seeking to reach a common ground of sorts where both sides feel like they are getting most of what they want is the key to being successful and maintaining the relationship.

Places We Negotiate

I’ve mentioned that we negotiate in just about all phases of our life. For those of you who are shaking your head no, I invite you to think about the following:

1. Work/Business

This one is the most obvious and it’s what naturally comes to mind when we think of the word “negotiate”.

When you first started at your current job, you might have asked for a higher salary. It could be that you delivered a huge new client to your company and used this as leverage in your most recent evaluation for more compensation. If you work with vendors (and just about every company does), maybe you worked them to a lower price or better contract terms.

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In recruiting, I negotiate with candidates and hiring managers all the time to land the best talent I can find. It’s very common to accept additional work with the (sometimes spoken, sometimes unspoken) agreement that it will benefit your career in the future.

Recently, I took over a project that was my boss was working on so that I would be able to attend a conference later in the year. And so it goes, we do this all day long at work.

2. Personal

I don’t know about you, but I negotiate with my spouse all the time. I’ll cook dinner with the understanding that she does the dishes. Who wants to mow the lawn and who wants to vacuum and dust the house?

I think we should save 10% for retirement, but she thinks 5% is plenty. Therefore, we save 8%. And don’t even get me started with my kids. My older daughter can borrow my car as soon as she finishes her chores. My younger daughter can go hang out with her friends when her homework is done.

Then, there are all those interactions in our personal lives outside our homes. The carpenter wants to charge me $12,000 to build a new deck. I think $10,000 is plenty so we agree on $11,000. I ask my neighbor if I can borrow his snowblower in the winter if I invite him over the next time I grill steak. And so on.

3. Ourselves

You didn’t expect this one, did you? We negotiate with ourselves all day long.

I’ll make sure I don’t skip my workout tomorrow since I’m going to have that extra piece of pizza. My spouse has been quiet the last few days, is it worth me asking her about, or should I leave it alone? I think the car place charged me for some repairs that weren’t needed, should I say something or just let it go? I know my friend has been having some personal challenges, should I check in with him? We’ve been friends for a long time, I’m sure he’d come to me if he needed help. I’ve got the #4 pick in this year’s Fantasy Football draft, should I choose a running back or a wide receiver?

Think about that non-stop voice inside your head. It always seems to be chattering away about something and many times, it’s us negotiating with ourselves. I’ll finish up that report that the boss needs before I turn on the football game.

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Why Negotiation Skills Are So Important

Put simply, negotiation skills are important because we all interact with other people, and not only other people but other organizations and groups of people as well.

We all rarely want the same thing or outcome. Most of the time a vendor is looking at getting you to pay a higher price for something than you want to spend. Therefore, it’s important to negotiate to some middle ground that works well for both sides.

My wife and I disagree on how much to save for retirement. If we weren’t married it wouldn’t be an issue. We’d each contribute how much we wanted to on our retirement funds. We choose to be married, so we have to come to some agreement that we both feel comfortable with. We have to compromise. Therefore, we have to negotiate.

If we each lived on a planet by ourselves, we would be free to do just about anything we wanted to. We wouldn’t have to compromise with anyone because we wouldn’t interact with anyone. We would make every choice unilaterally the way we wanted to.

As we all know, this isn’t how things are. We are constantly interacting with other people and organizations, each one with their own agenda’s, viewpoints, and opinions. Therefore, we have to be able to work together.

6 Negotiation Skills to Master

Having strong negotiation skills helps us create win-win situations with others, allowing us to get most of what we want in conjunction with others around us.

Now, let’s look at 6 effective negotiation skills to master.

1. Preparation

Preparation is a key place to start with when getting ready to negotiate. Being prepared means having a clear vision of what you want and how you’d go about achieving it. It means knowing what the end goal looks like and also what you are willing to give to get it.

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It also means knowing who you are negotiating with and what areas they might be willing to compromise on. You should also know what your “bottom line” is. By “bottom line” I mean what is the most you are willing to give up to get what you want.

For instance, several years ago, I decided it was time to get a newer car. I say newer because I wanted a “new to me” car, not a brand new car. I did my research and figured out what type of car I wanted. I decided on what must-have items on the car I wanted, the highest amount of miles that would already be on it, the colors I was willing to get it in, and the highest amount of money I was willing to pay.

After visiting numerous car dealerships I was able to negotiate buying a car. I knew what I was willing to give up (amount of money) and what I was willing to accept, things like the color, amount of miles, etc. I came prepared. This is critical.

2. Clear Communication

The next key skill you need to be an effective negotiator is clear communication. You have to be able to clearly articulate what you want to the other party. This means both clear verbal and written communication.

If you can’t clearly tell the other person what you want, how do you expect to get it? Have you ever worked through something with a vendor or someone else only to learn of a surprise right at the end that wasn’t talked about before? This is not what you would call clear communication. It’s essential to be able to share a coherent and logical vision with the person you are working with.

3. Active Listening

Let’s do a quick review of active listening. This is when you are completely focused on the speaker, understand their message, comprehend the information, and respond appropriately. This is a necessary ingredient to be able to negotiate successfully. You must be able to fully focus on the other person’s wants to completely understand them.

If you aren’t giving them your full attention, you may miss some major points or details. This leads to frustration down the road on both sides. Ensure you are employing your active listening skills when in arbitration mode.

4. Teamwork and Collaboration

To be able to get to a place of common ground and a win-win scenario, you have to have a sense of teamwork and collaboration.

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If you are only thinking about yourself and what you want without giving much care to what the other person is wanting, you are bound to wind up without a solution. The other person may get frustrated and give up if they see you are unwilling to meet them halfway or care little for what they want.

When you collaborate, you are working together to help each other get what is most important to you. The other upside to negotiating with a sense of teamwork and collaboration is that it helps create a sense of trust, which, in turn, helps provide positive energy for working to a successful conclusion.

5. Problem Solving

Problem-solving is another key negotiation skill. When you are working with the other person to get the deal done many times you’ll face new challenges along the way.

Maybe you want a new vendor to provide training on the software they are selling you but they say it’s going to cost an additional $20,000 to provide this service. If you don’t have the additional $20,000 in the budget to spend on the software but you feel the training is critical, how are you going to solve that problem?

From what I’ve seen, most vendors aren’t willing to provide additional services without getting paid for them. This is where problem-solving skills will help continue the discussions. You might suggest to the vendor that your company will also be looking to replace their financial software next year, and you’d be happy to ensure they get one of the first seats at the table when the time comes if they could perhaps lower the pricing on their training.

There’s a solution to most challenges, but it takes problem-solving skills to work through them effectively.

6. Decision-Making Ability

Finally, having strong decision-making ability will help you seal the deal when you get to a place where everyone feels like they are getting what works for them. Each step of the way you can cross off the list when you get what you are looking for and decide to move onto the next item. Then, once you have all of your must-have boxes checked and the other side feels good about things, it’s time to shake hands and sign on the dotted line. Powerful decision-making ability will help you get to the finish line together.

Conclusion

There you have it, 6 effective negotiation skills to master to lead a more fulfilling life. Once we realize that we negotiate in one form or another almost every day in every phase of our lives, we realize how critical a skill it is.

Possessing strong negotiation skills will help you in nearly every one of your relationships at both the workplace and in your personal life. If you feel your arbitration tools could use some sharpening, try some of the 6 effective negotiation skills to master that we’ve talked about.

More Tips to Improve Your Negotiation Skills

Featured photo credit: Windows via unsplash.com

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