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6 Hacks for Successful Senior Dating at 55+

6 Hacks for Successful Senior Dating at 55+

 As to the reasons why many individuals both younger and the seniors don’t date, this can be traced to many individual perspectives. Over 55 percent feels and believe they don’t need a relationship before they can be happy. Well, this is very true, no matter your age. However, over 40 percent also believe that there is no one out there really suitable for a date. Also, more than 28 percent says they are often lost as to where to start a date from while others say it’s too stressful to be involved in a date.

Still, many others place priorities on things they think are more important than dating while the rest confesses that it’s just too difficult to date when one is over 55.

Dating after 55

Judging from positive contributions, the 55+ daters appear to be smarter when choosing a date partner. Speaking frankly, over 60 percent acknowledged that they make better choices now when compared to their younger ages. About 42 percent of senior daters said that they have better and quality dates at the moment and over 52 percent reveals that the most interesting part of dating in the 50s is the stress-free thought about meeting biological needs, which is a thing of the past.

Many individuals need friends or life partners. And, over 80 percent of the 55+ daters take to the old fashioned ways to meet dates that may fulfill this choice. Many meet their dates through family and friends while one-quarter of the 55+ daters use seniors online dating sites.

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Involving in a date after 45 or 55 simply means taking full control over your love life just like you’ve always done the rest of your life. It means making reasonable and perfect choices. However, it needs just as much care as ever.

The 6 Key guides for 55+ daters:

1. Never bond over your baggage

Bonding over baggage simply means going into too deep conversations at an early date. Trying to know everything about your date as to their past life experiences, what happened with their marriage or how online dating has been for them?

Starting a date with awful ex-spouses date comparison may not really do much good for your date. Nothing positive can come from these topics so stay clear of them. If they worth talking about, it shouldn’t be at the first date. Keep them until you’ve known each other better

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2. If he doesn’t call you, don’t call him

Especially for the senior women, please keep this in your mind. Yes, you had a great date and he promised to call you. You definitely want to see him again because the experience is unforgettable, but if he hasn’t called you when he promised to, don’t call him. This might be so tempting and I know this

This might be so tempting and I know this quite well, but please don’t do it. Men know what and who they want much better than women do and this is categorically true for the senior men. He definitely won’t forget to call if he really meant it. I know your younger age at 25 would want to find everything out but this is a grown-up. He has enough time to call or show up if he desires to.

3. Sex is not the agenda

At 55, I know you are matured enough, competent and smart but the last thing you want to see is having back the memories of your 20s.

The reason for your date at 55+ is not for sex but just for a good companion or life partners. Take care of yourselves by bringing up conversations where you share your wants and needs. A matured grown-up man or woman will appreciate and respect this kind of relationship. If your date is not satisfied with this, it’s better to cut it off as soon as possible or not even start one at all.

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4. Check out three three things you like about your date

Their behaviors, their smiles, their fashion sense or how they put their kids in your discussions. Focus first on the positives and keep inquiring more about him before trying to see the negatives or why he is not OK for you.

Starting with the positives keeps them open to reveal their true self but if you start with negatives, they may turn conservative hiding their true negative nature.

5. Flirt like a grown-up

It is very true that men like grown up women who flirt. Ensure to keep your body languages open, smile often and responsibly, play with your hair. Now here is the biggest flirt of all; compliment your man.

Bring up your femininity at every date. This is what women have and what men desire most.

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6. Be attentive and manage the conversation

Especially for the woman, take full control of the conversation and make sure it never diverts to unwelcome topics. Take the chance to talk about yourself in a meaningful way too. This is what he remembers when he walks away.

You might not have a chance for a second date if you give him nothing to remember about you. Do you wonder why you should talk about yourself most? This is because you are better talking about self than him. If you can do this, you both will enjoy the date and have memories that call for a second chance.

If you appear to your date as happy, open and charming as you always are, it brings out the best in him and ensures that you both have a wonderful time possible. Always keep in mind that there is something valuable to learn from every date.

Featured photo credit: www.thinkstockphotos.ca via meetville.com

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MICHAEL LILY

Writer/entrepreneural development specialist

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The Gentle Art of Saying No

The Gentle Art of Saying No

No!

It’s a simple fact that you can never be productive if you take on too many commitments — you simply spread yourself too thin and will not be able to get anything done, at least not well or on time.

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But requests for your time are coming in all the time — through phone, email, IM or in person. To stay productive, and minimize stress, you have to learn the Gentle Art of Saying No — an art that many people have problems with.

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What’s so hard about saying no? Well, to start with, it can hurt, anger or disappoint the person you’re saying “no” to, and that’s not usually a fun task. Second, if you hope to work with that person in the future, you’ll want to continue to have a good relationship with that person, and saying “no” in the wrong way can jeopardize that.

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But it doesn’t have to be difficult or hard on your relationship. Here are the Top 10 tips for learning the Gentle Art of Saying No:

  1. Value your time. Know your commitments, and how valuable your precious time is. Then, when someone asks you to dedicate some of your time to a new commitment, you’ll know that you simply cannot do it. And tell them that: “I just can’t right now … my plate is overloaded as it is.”
  2. Know your priorities. Even if you do have some extra time (which for many of us is rare), is this new commitment really the way you want to spend that time? For myself, I know that more commitments means less time with my wife and kids, who are more important to me than anything.
  3. Practice saying no. Practice makes perfect. Saying “no” as often as you can is a great way to get better at it and more comfortable with saying the word. And sometimes, repeating the word is the only way to get a message through to extremely persistent people. When they keep insisting, just keep saying no. Eventually, they’ll get the message.
  4. Don’t apologize. A common way to start out is “I’m sorry but …” as people think that it sounds more polite. While politeness is important, apologizing just makes it sound weaker. You need to be firm, and unapologetic about guarding your time.
  5. Stop being nice. Again, it’s important to be polite, but being nice by saying yes all the time only hurts you. When you make it easy for people to grab your time (or money), they will continue to do it. But if you erect a wall, they will look for easier targets. Show them that your time is well guarded by being firm and turning down as many requests (that are not on your top priority list) as possible.
  6. Say no to your boss. Sometimes we feel that we have to say yes to our boss — they’re our boss, right? And if we say “no” then we look like we can’t handle the work — at least, that’s the common reasoning. But in fact, it’s the opposite — explain to your boss that by taking on too many commitments, you are weakening your productivity and jeopardizing your existing commitments. If your boss insists that you take on the project, go over your project or task list and ask him/her to re-prioritize, explaining that there’s only so much you can take on at one time.
  7. Pre-empting. It’s often much easier to pre-empt requests than to say “no” to them after the request has been made. If you know that requests are likely to be made, perhaps in a meeting, just say to everyone as soon as you come into the meeting, “Look guys, just to let you know, my week is booked full with some urgent projects and I won’t be able to take on any new requests.”
  8. Get back to you. Instead of providing an answer then and there, it’s often better to tell the person you’ll give their request some thought and get back to them. This will allow you to give it some consideration, and check your commitments and priorities. Then, if you can’t take on the request, simply tell them: “After giving this some thought, and checking my commitments, I won’t be able to accommodate the request at this time.” At least you gave it some consideration.
  9. Maybe later. If this is an option that you’d like to keep open, instead of just shutting the door on the person, it’s often better to just say, “This sounds like an interesting opportunity, but I just don’t have the time at the moment. Perhaps you could check back with me in [give a time frame].” Next time, when they check back with you, you might have some free time on your hands.
  10. It’s not you, it’s me. This classic dating rejection can work in other situations. Don’t be insincere about it, though. Often the person or project is a good one, but it’s just not right for you, at least not at this time. Simply say so — you can compliment the idea, the project, the person, the organization … but say that it’s not the right fit, or it’s not what you’re looking for at this time. Only say this if it’s true — people can sense insincerity.

Featured photo credit: Pexels via pexels.com

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