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Be Your Own Biggest Fan

Be Your Own Biggest Fan

How do you feel about yourself? Nope….tell the truth. Chances are that you are reading this alone and that there is no one to overhear you. Will you say it aloud for me? Are you your own biggest fan?

I walked into work today and the first person I saw was a good friend of mine. She has a lovely smile and a genuine, warm personality. She is a single mom, totally in love with her son, good at her job, and a pleasure to be around. I walked over to her and said good morning and that I thought her hair looked very nice today. I was not making this up or saying it just to make her feel good. I genuinely thought she looked nice and wanted to tell her. Compliments are important. Her response, however, broke my heart. She laughed and told me I was wrong. That her hair did not look good and that she needed to get it colored and cut. Her bias toward herself made it so that she could not even accept my compliment. In fact, it was so ingrained that she had to verbally reject my compliment.

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I wish this was an isolated event. Unfortunately, I can give example after example, and it is not isolated to women. My assistant is a man. Well-dressed, quick-witted, caring and compassionate. And yet? Give him a compliment about the suit he is wearing, and his first response is that he cannot fit into any of his other suits and that he must lose weight. Why is his bias toward himself so strong that he cannot take a nice compliment and feel good about it?

We, as a society, are quick to judge, quick to spot the negative and comment on it. We have gotten ugly in the way we speak to each other, the way we write, and especially in our television shows. Why do men want to watch other men in a cage trying to hurt each other? Why do women read magazines that tell them everything is wrong with the way they look, the size they are, and the style they choose? We will have to tackle society together, for the greater good, as a large goal. But what we first have to do is tackle the problem of our own self-esteem.

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What do Kim Kardashian and Stephen Hawking have in common?

Why is Kim Kardashian famous? Why do millions follow her every move? She is pretty, but so are you. She is talented, but so are you. The difference is confidence. The world tells her that she is exceptional and she believes it, which gives her confidence, which allows her to do great things. Her self-bias is positive, not negative.

Stephen Hawking has faced severe physical challenges that most of us can never comprehend. So how did he transcend that to become the most famous scientist in our modern day? He did not listen to “You can’t”. He believes in himself. His self-bias is positive, not negative, which allows him to accomplish great things.

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The single most important change you need to make is to recognize that these biases are your own.

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    Getting ahead in this world is a struggle. Not against the tide of the world, but against your own self-doubt. You must be your own biggest fan.

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    I speak and write to motivate. Not because I believe that we don’t have problems, but because I know that we all have great problems. Every day, we face new challenges. The fact of the matter is that no matter what the outside throws at us, we will never achieve what we hope to if we are doubting ourselves first. If you want to be a success in business, in relationships, with your family, or whatever your goal may be, the first step has to begin within you. Recognize your own negative bias and crush it! You must believe in yourself more than the world believes in you.

    You must be your own biggest fan. How? I’m not sure, to be honest. I do know that you will never achieve what you want by saying “I’m not good enough” or “I’m not like those people”. The beauty of the human condition is that we can always change, always improve. It will be hard work. Do not be lazy! When you decide that what you dream of is more important that what you currently have, nothing will stop you from obtaining it. Make the changes in your life so that you can look into the mirror with confidence. Cast away your negative thoughts and listen to the world with fresh ears. My friends, your own negative self-bias is your single biggest enemy. Please do not let it win.

    Oh, and when anyone gives you a compliment. Believe it. A compliment is a beautiful flower, enjoy it.

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    Glenn Killey

    Author, Motivational Speaker, Mindset Coach

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    Last Updated on September 25, 2019

    How to Tap Into the Power of Positivity

    How to Tap Into the Power of Positivity

    As it appears, the human mind is not capable of not thinking, at least on the subconscious level. Our mind is always occupied by thoughts, whether we want to or not, and they influence our every action.

    When we were still children, our thoughts seemed to be purely positive. Have you ever been around a 4-year old who doesn’t like a painting he or she drew? I haven’t. Instead, I see glee, exciting and pride in children’s eyes. But as the years go by, we clutter our mind with doubts, fears and self-deprecating thoughts.

    Just imagine then, how much we limit ourselves in every aspect of our lives if we give negative thoughts too much power!

    We’ll never go after that job we’ve always wanted because our nay-saying thoughts make us doubt our abilities.

    We’ll never ask that person we like out on a date because we always think we’re not good enough.

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    We’ll never risk quitting our job in order to pursue the life and the work of our dreams because we can’t get over our mental barrier that insists we’re too weak, too unimportant and too dumb.

    We’ll never lose those pounds that risk our health because we believe we’re not capable of pushing our limits.

    And we’ll never be able to fully see our inner potential because we simply don’t dare to question the voices in our head…

    But enough is enough! It’s time to stop these limiting beliefs and come to a place of sanity, love and excitement about life, work and ourselves.

    So, how can we tap into the power of positivity?

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    “Happiness cannot come from without, it comes from within.” – Helen Keller

    It’s not as hard as it may seem; you just have to practice, practice, practice. Here are 4 simple yet powerful ideas on how you can get started.

    1. Learn to substitute every negative thought with a positive one.

    Every time a negative thought crawls into your mind, replace it with a positive thought. It’s just like someone writes a phrase you don’t like on a blackboard and then you get up, erase it and write something much more to your liking.

    Just take a look at these 10 Positive Affirmations for Success that will Change your Life.

    2. See the positive side of every situation, even when you are surrounded by pure negativity.

    This one is a bit harder to put into practice, which does not mean it’s impossible.

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    You can find positivity in everything by mentally holding on to something positive, whether this be family, friends, your faith, nature, someone’s sparkling eyes or whatever other glimmer of beauty.

    If you seek it, you will find it.

    3. At least once a day, take a moment and think of 5 things you are grateful for.

    This will lighten your mood and give you some perspective of what really is important in life and how many blessings surround you already.

    Here’re 60 Things To Be Thankful For In Life that can inspire you.

    4. Change the mental images you allow to enter your mind.

    How you see yourself and your surroundings make a huge difference to your thinking.

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    Instead of dwelling on dark, negative thoughts, consciously build and focus on positive, light and colorful images, thoughts and situations in your mind a few times a day.

    Learn from this article how to change your mental images: How to Think Positive and Eliminate Negative Thoughts

    If you are persistent and keep on working on yourself, your mind will automatically reject its negative thoughts and welcome the positive ones.

    And remember:

    You are (or will become) what you think you are.

    This is reasonable enough to be proactive about whatever is going on in your head.

    More About Staying Positive

    Featured photo credit: Lauren Richmond via unsplash.com

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