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3 Important Keys to Finding Lasting Relationships

3 Important Keys to Finding Lasting Relationships

Relationships have proven to be one of the best ways for attaining true happiness. Also, there are chances that a relationship might steal your already attained happiness.

Our relationships are often founded on the type of connections we create from moment happenings and if our utmost intention is to keep one, we can’t get our thoughts off elsewhere.

Our facial expressions, the way we carry our body, and the tone of our voices while we’re with people or far from them, reveals to them if truly we’re with them or if our concentration is mainly on ourselves. There are chances your date knows you’re concentrated on yourself while you’re with them but they won’t tell you how they feel.

If you want to have a lasting relationship, you must:

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The Effectiveness of Online Dating 

Online dating has become one of the modern dating methods which gradually is taking over united states. Online dating sites have created a personal introductory network where individuals can find and contact each other on the internet for the sole purpose of match making and building personal relationships.

Always keep in mind that, first impressions aren’t always reliable. Especially on internet dating, people hardly accurately portray themselves. However, there are responsible online dating sites where fake identities never get on. The recent year has recorded a great advantage in online dating where over 20% relationships that met online have led to marriages in the United States. Studies shows that;

The average length of courtship/dating for relationships that met online – 18.6 Months
The average length of dating for marriages that met offline face-to-face – 42 months
In the last year percentage of marriages that met on online dating site – 17 %
At present the percentage of committed relationships that met in online dating site – 20 %

From this analysis, it’s shown that relationships that met online have relatively short dating/courtship length before leading to marriages.

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Wherever you met someone irrespective of how you met them, it always takes some time to know that person. Being with someone in different situations either good or otherwise will let you get to know them better; how well they handle pressure, what’s their response when things aren’t going too smoothly, when they’re hungry, angry, tired or frustrated.

Don’t hide your mistakes. Everyone make mistakes and you may be amazed how worse their mistakes are compared to yours. There are instances where what you find so awful about you is what’s amazingly appealing to your date. Be honest and you’ll be surprised how far this takes your relation.

It’s true that in this age and the present day, developing a vertical relationship first before a horizontal relationship is difficult, yet it’s the best.  Don’t be so swift to make a relationship sexual before trying to know this person better. Knowing someone first will definitely lead to a much more satisfying sexual relationship along the way. But, if you put the sexual relationship first before trying to know this person, what you expect should be the opposite.

1. Always try and keep things in perspective

The search for a relationship shouldn’t be the center of your life. If you want to have a great relationship, the first thing you must do is ensure give great emphasis to the things that give you joy; your health, your career and your relationship with friends and family.

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When your focus is on things that make you happy, you will experience a balanced life and this will make you a more interesting person when you have contact with special people.

2. Having fun should be your priority

While singles events, online dating, and match making services may happen to be successful and enjoyable to some people, others may lack the inclination and often feel highly pressured. They may prefer fun social occasions. Be mindful whatever dating experts might tell you. Understand there is a great difference between finding a lasting love relationship and finding a suitable career.

Your time as a “single” person is the greatest opportunity to meet people and extend your social circle. While others may prefer online dating, you can find and participate in activities that you have interests in. Your focus should be having fun and not finding a relationship. Having fun doesn’t mean making all hell of jokes but just engage yourself in anything that makes you happy. Don’t laugh or joke because you want someone to notice you’re around. Laugh because something is funny, you’re happy, because of the memories, because deep down you’re having the best time.

While engaging yourself in activities you enjoy and in new environments, there is a great chance of meeting people who aren’t looking for the best but just you, the unique and true person. The chances of meeting people of same interests and values are great and even if you don’t, you’ll still enjoy your time and maybe make some new friends as well.

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3. If you must build a connection, let it be a genuine one.

You must know that the dating game can be so torturing. It’s normal to worry about how you will meet and if or not your date will like you. But can you really get rid this torture, create a great connection and build good rapport? Yes. These tips can guide you:

  • To fight first-date torture or nerves, your focus should be on your outward appearance, not your internal feelings and thoughts. While spending time with your date, try to be fully involved: in what your date is doing, what is happening around you and what he is saying. With this, your mind will be in your control and off your worries, insecurities and distracting doubts.
  • Being genuine with your interest and feelings is another catch. There’s a fact anyone who’s been with a date would know which is, you can’t fake your interest in someone. If you aren’t interested in your date, just go ahead and tell them. Don’t pretend to listen or care. Don’t extend the relationship further.
  • Showing curiosity is another way to connect with a new person. Having a genuine interest and being curious about their feelings, opinions, stories, thoughts and experiences. This should not be hidden and they’ll like that very part of you. If you can do this, you’ll experience a far more interesting and attractive moment than only trying to elevate yourself when you’re with your date.
  • Any item or devices that would lead to distraction should be put away while you are with your date. There’s no way you can prove to your date you’re interested in the moment when you’re having distractions. A lot of signals could be sent and noticed while with a date but this, of course, is noticed only when you’re focused.
  • Paying proper attention to your date, how they interact and what they say will help know them better quickly. Little things go a long way and you can’t tell what those are. You’ll remember a lot about what they told you, what’s going on in their life at the moment and or remembering what they say about their preferences.

Featured photo credit: easysuccessfulonlinedating.com via cdn.tomatoheart.com

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MICHAEL LILY

Writer/entrepreneural development specialist

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Last Updated on November 15, 2018

Success In Reaching Goals Is Determined By Mindset

Success In Reaching Goals Is Determined By Mindset

What do you think it takes to achieve your goals? Hard work? Lots of actions? While these are paramount to becoming successful in reaching our goals, neither of these are possible without a positive mindset.

As humans, we naturally tend to lean towards a negative outlook when it comes to our hopes and dreams. We are prone to believing that we have limitations either from within ourselves or from external forces keeping us from truly getting to where we want to be in life. Our tendency to think that we’ll “believe it when we see it” suggests that our mindsets are focused on our goals not really being attainable until they’ve been achieved. The problem with this is that this common mindset fuels our limiting beliefs and shows a lack of faith in ourselves.

The Success Mindset

Success in achieving our goals comes down to a ‘success mindset’. Successful mindsets are those focused on victory, based on positive mental attitudes, empowering inclinations and good habits. Acquiring a success mindset is the sure-fire way to dramatically increase your chance to achieve your goals.

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The idea that achieving our goals comes down to our habits and actions is actually a typical type of mindset that misses a crucial point; that our mindset is, in fact, the determiner of our energy and what actions we take. A negative mindset will tend to create negative actions and similarly if we have a mindset that will only set into action once we see ‘proof’ that our goals are achievable, then the road will be much longer and arduous. This is why, instead of thinking “I’ll believe it when I see it”, a success mindset will think “I’ll see it when I believe it.”

The Placebo Effect and What It Shows Us About The Power of Mindset

The placebo effect is a perfect example of how mindset really can be powerful. In scientific trials, a group of participants were told they received medication that will heal an ailment but were actually given a sugar pill that does nothing (the placebo). Yet after the trial the participants believed it’s had a positive effect – sometimes even cured their ailment even though nothing has changed. This is the power of mindset.

How do we apply this to our goals? Well, when we set goals and dreams how often do we really believe they’ll come to fruition? Have absolute faith that they can be achieved? Have a complete unwavering expectation? Most of us don’t because we hold on to negative mindsets and limiting beliefs about ourselves that stop us from fully believing we are capable or that it’s at all possible. We tend to listen to the opinions of others despite them misaligning with our own or bow to societal pressures that make us believe we should think and act a certain way. There are many reasons why we possess these types of mindsets but a success mindset can be achieved.

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How To Create a Success Mindset

People with success mindsets have a particular way of perceiving things. They have positive outlooks and are able to put faith fully in their ability to succeed. With that in mind, here are a few ways that can turn a negative mindset into a successful one.

1. A Success Mindset Comes From a Growth Mindset

How does a mindset even manifest itself? It comes from the way you talk to yourself in the privacy of your own head. Realising this will go a long way towards noticing how you speak to yourself and others around you. If it’s mainly negative language you use when you talk about your goals and aspirations then this is an example of a fixed mindset.

A negative mindset brings with it a huge number of limiting beliefs. It creates a fixed mindset – one that can’t see beyond it’s own limitations. A growth mindset sees these limitations and looks beyond them – it finds ways to overcome obstacles and believes that this will result in success. When you think of your goal, a fixed mindset may think “what if I fail?” A growth mindset would look at the same goal and think “failures happen but that doesn’t mean I won’t be successful.”

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There’s a lot of power in changing your perspective.

2. Look For The Successes

It’s really important to get your mind focused on positive aspects of your goal. Finding inspiration through others can be really uplifting and keep you on track with developing your success mindset; reinforcing your belief that your dreams can be achieved. Find people that you can talk with about how they achieved their goals and seek out and surround yourself with positive people. This is crucial if you’re learning to develop a positive mindset.

3. Eliminate Negativity

You can come up against a lot of negativity sometimes either through other people or within yourself. Understanding that other people’s negative opinions are created through their own fears and limiting beliefs will go a long way in sustaining your success mindset. But for a lot of us, negative chatter can come from within and these usually manifest as negative words such as can’t, won’t, shouldn’t. Sometimes, when we think of how we’re going to achieve our goals, statements in our minds come out as negative absolutes: ‘It never works out for me’ or ‘I always fail.’

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When you notice these coming up you need to turn them around with ‘It always works out for me!’ and ‘I never fail!’ The trick is to believe it no matter what’s happened in the past. Remember that every new day is a clean slate and for you to adjust your mindset.

4. Create a Vision

Envisioning your end goal and seeing it in your mind is an important trait of a success mindset. Allowing ourselves to imagine our success creates a powerful excitement that shouldn’t be underestimated. When our brain becomes excited at the thought of achieving our goals, we become more committed, work harder towards achieving it and more likely to do whatever it takes to make it happen.

If this involves creating a vision board that you can look at to remind yourself every day then go for it. Small techniques like this go a long way in sustaining your success mindset and shouldn’t be dismissed.

An Inspirational Story…

For centuries experts said that running a mile in under 4 minutes was humanly impossible. On the 6th May 1954, Rodger Bannister did just that. As part of his training, Bannister relentlessly visualised the achievement, believing he could accomplish what everyone said wasn’t possible…and he did it.

What’s more amazing is that, as soon as Bannister achieved the 4-minute mile, more and more people also achieved it. How was this possible after so many years of no one achieving it? Because in people’s minds it was suddenly possible – once people knew that it was achievable it created a mindset of success and now, after over fifty years since Bannister did the ‘impossible’, his record has been lowered by 17 seconds – the power of the success mindset!

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