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3 Important Keys to Finding Lasting Relationships

3 Important Keys to Finding Lasting Relationships

Relationships have proven to be one of the best ways for attaining true happiness. Also, there are chances that a relationship might steal your already attained happiness.

Our relationships are often founded on the type of connections we create from moment happenings and if our utmost intention is to keep one, we can’t get our thoughts off elsewhere.

Our facial expressions, the way we carry our body, and the tone of our voices while we’re with people or far from them, reveals to them if truly we’re with them or if our concentration is mainly on ourselves. There are chances your date knows you’re concentrated on yourself while you’re with them but they won’t tell you how they feel.

If you want to have a lasting relationship, you must:

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The Effectiveness of Online Dating 

Online dating has become one of the modern dating methods which gradually is taking over united states. Online dating sites have created a personal introductory network where individuals can find and contact each other on the internet for the sole purpose of match making and building personal relationships.

Always keep in mind that, first impressions aren’t always reliable. Especially on internet dating, people hardly accurately portray themselves. However, there are responsible online dating sites where fake identities never get on. The recent year has recorded a great advantage in online dating where over 20% relationships that met online have led to marriages in the United States. Studies shows that;

The average length of courtship/dating for relationships that met online – 18.6 Months
The average length of dating for marriages that met offline face-to-face – 42 months
In the last year percentage of marriages that met on online dating site – 17 %
At present the percentage of committed relationships that met in online dating site – 20 %

From this analysis, it’s shown that relationships that met online have relatively short dating/courtship length before leading to marriages.

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Wherever you met someone irrespective of how you met them, it always takes some time to know that person. Being with someone in different situations either good or otherwise will let you get to know them better; how well they handle pressure, what’s their response when things aren’t going too smoothly, when they’re hungry, angry, tired or frustrated.

Don’t hide your mistakes. Everyone make mistakes and you may be amazed how worse their mistakes are compared to yours. There are instances where what you find so awful about you is what’s amazingly appealing to your date. Be honest and you’ll be surprised how far this takes your relation.

It’s true that in this age and the present day, developing a vertical relationship first before a horizontal relationship is difficult, yet it’s the best.  Don’t be so swift to make a relationship sexual before trying to know this person better. Knowing someone first will definitely lead to a much more satisfying sexual relationship along the way. But, if you put the sexual relationship first before trying to know this person, what you expect should be the opposite.

1. Always try and keep things in perspective

The search for a relationship shouldn’t be the center of your life. If you want to have a great relationship, the first thing you must do is ensure give great emphasis to the things that give you joy; your health, your career and your relationship with friends and family.

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When your focus is on things that make you happy, you will experience a balanced life and this will make you a more interesting person when you have contact with special people.

2. Having fun should be your priority

While singles events, online dating, and match making services may happen to be successful and enjoyable to some people, others may lack the inclination and often feel highly pressured. They may prefer fun social occasions. Be mindful whatever dating experts might tell you. Understand there is a great difference between finding a lasting love relationship and finding a suitable career.

Your time as a “single” person is the greatest opportunity to meet people and extend your social circle. While others may prefer online dating, you can find and participate in activities that you have interests in. Your focus should be having fun and not finding a relationship. Having fun doesn’t mean making all hell of jokes but just engage yourself in anything that makes you happy. Don’t laugh or joke because you want someone to notice you’re around. Laugh because something is funny, you’re happy, because of the memories, because deep down you’re having the best time.

While engaging yourself in activities you enjoy and in new environments, there is a great chance of meeting people who aren’t looking for the best but just you, the unique and true person. The chances of meeting people of same interests and values are great and even if you don’t, you’ll still enjoy your time and maybe make some new friends as well.

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3. If you must build a connection, let it be a genuine one.

You must know that the dating game can be so torturing. It’s normal to worry about how you will meet and if or not your date will like you. But can you really get rid this torture, create a great connection and build good rapport? Yes. These tips can guide you:

  • To fight first-date torture or nerves, your focus should be on your outward appearance, not your internal feelings and thoughts. While spending time with your date, try to be fully involved: in what your date is doing, what is happening around you and what he is saying. With this, your mind will be in your control and off your worries, insecurities and distracting doubts.
  • Being genuine with your interest and feelings is another catch. There’s a fact anyone who’s been with a date would know which is, you can’t fake your interest in someone. If you aren’t interested in your date, just go ahead and tell them. Don’t pretend to listen or care. Don’t extend the relationship further.
  • Showing curiosity is another way to connect with a new person. Having a genuine interest and being curious about their feelings, opinions, stories, thoughts and experiences. This should not be hidden and they’ll like that very part of you. If you can do this, you’ll experience a far more interesting and attractive moment than only trying to elevate yourself when you’re with your date.
  • Any item or devices that would lead to distraction should be put away while you are with your date. There’s no way you can prove to your date you’re interested in the moment when you’re having distractions. A lot of signals could be sent and noticed while with a date but this, of course, is noticed only when you’re focused.
  • Paying proper attention to your date, how they interact and what they say will help know them better quickly. Little things go a long way and you can’t tell what those are. You’ll remember a lot about what they told you, what’s going on in their life at the moment and or remembering what they say about their preferences.

Featured photo credit: easysuccessfulonlinedating.com via cdn.tomatoheart.com

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MICHAEL LILY

Writer/entrepreneural development specialist

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Last Updated on July 10, 2020

How to Reinvent Yourself and Change Your Life

How to Reinvent Yourself and Change Your Life

There will always be times in your life when you may need to learn how to reinvent yourself. This could come when you experience a big change, such as leaving your job, moving on from a relationship, transferring to a new home, or losing a loved one. If you are going through a major shift in your life, you may have to find new ways of thinking or doing things, or risk failing to reach your full potential.

“When something bad happens, you have three choices. You can let it define you, let it destroy you, or you can let it strengthen you.”

Many people who dared to leave their old unhappy lives enabled themselves to pursue their passions and find a renewed zest for living. You can also achieve the same if you take a leap of faith and make things happen for yourself.

To help you always be at your best wherever you may be in your life, here are some practical tips on how to reinvent yourself.

The Reinvention Checklist

Before embarking on a journey of self-reinvention, you need to make sure that you have everything that you need to make the trip bump-proof. These things include:

Resilience

Problems and obstacles are guaranteed to happen. Some of them will be difficult and may knock you off course; the important thing, however, is that you learn from these difficulties, never lose focus, and always get back up. This requires building resilience to get through the tough times.

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Support

Humans are social beings. Although it is important that you learn to rely on yourself when facing any challenge, it is also important to have a support team that you can lean on to give you a boost when things get too tough and to correct you when you’re making mistakes.

The key is to find the right balance between independence and dependence. Don’t be afraid to be vulnerable and share the difficulties you’re facing. When you open up, you’ll find the people who are really going to be there for you.

Self-Care

During the process of learning how to reinvent yourself, you will have to pull yourself away from your old comfort zones, habits, roles, and self-perceptions. This can be difficult and cause you to question your self-worth, so it’s important to engage in self-care to maintain a positive outlook and keep your mind and body healthy as you face the challenges that await you. Self-care can include:

  • Participating in a hobby you enjoy
  • Spending time with your support system
  • Taking some time to walk in nature
  • Practicing loving-kindness meditation

Find what works for you and what helps you feel like your true self as you seek a reinvented version of you.

How to Reinvent Yourself

Once you’re sure that you’re equipped with all the tools in the self-reinvention checklist, you can begin your journey of learning how to reinvent yourself.

1. Discover Your Strengths

This step provides valuable information on how you deal with certain situations. If you have this information, you will be able to manage difficulties more efficiently.

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To find out what your strengths are, you can ask your friends and colleagues for feedback, engage in self-reflection, or try these 10 Ways to Find Your Own Personal Strengths.

2. Plan

This step calls for a thorough assessment of your current emotional, psychological, and financial status so that you can develop plans that are realistic and practical.

It’s okay to have ambitious dreams, but your plans have to be realistic. Making use of SMART goals can help you plan your life better.

You can also consult your mentor or life coach for practical tips and advice.

Ultimately, you’ll want to create specific long-term and short-term goals that you can create milestones for. By doing this, you’ll lay out a specific roadmap to your reinvented self.

3. Try Things Out

Sometimes, we don’t know if solutions actually work until we try them out. This is why it is important to experiment whenever possible, especially if you’re dealing with a career change. You may need to simply experiment in order to find the things you like. This can be the same with hobbies. If you’re not sure what you would like doing, accept invitations from friends to join them in their favorite sport or take a class, like pottery or photography.

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By seeing what’s out there in any area of your life, you’ll have a better chance of finding the things you enjoy and the goals you want to create.

4. Manage Your Finances Well

Changes may require a bit of money. If you’re shifting to a new career, you may have to pay for training. If you’re going through a tough divorce or having a hard time dealing with the death of a loved one, you may have to pay for therapy. If you’re moving to a new home, you’ll definitely have to pay a whole lot of expenses.

All of these things are possible, but it will require a bit of money savviness as you learn how to reinvent yourself. If you have that cushion, you’ll feel more comfortable straying from your current path to try new things.

5. Muster Your Courage

Fears and self-doubt may arise when you encounter difficulties and setbacks. Sometimes, they may also come when you’re taking risks. You have to manage these negative emotions well and not allow them to discourage you. Tap into your courage and try doing at least one new thing each week to develop it.

Learn how to deal with your self-doubts to move forward in this article: How Self Doubt Keeps You Stuck (And How to Overcome It)

6. Use Your Support Group

As stated above, you need to build a strong support group before you even start the process of reinventing yourself. Your group will keep you from taking wrong turns and encourage you when you get too weighed down by problems. Don’t be afraid to call them, or even ask them out for coffee if you need to vent about the current difficulties you’re facing.

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7. Remind Yourself Every Day of Your Commitment

Write your goals on different-sized cards and scatter them at home and at work in places where you can easily see them. This way, you will constantly be reminded of where you want to be. Remember, writing down your goals helps them stick[1].

8. Accept Failure, Learn, and Resume Your Journey

Failing is normal, especially when we’re trying out something new. When you fail, simply recognize it, learn from it, and move on. Failure, in the end, is the best way to learn what does and doesn’t work, and you simply won’t be able to learn how to reinvent yourself if you don’t accept the inevitable failures that await you.

Final Thoughts

If you truly want to learn how to reinvent yourself and live the life you desire, take the advice above and start taking action. It will take time, patience, and plenty of effort to make the change you want happen, but it will be all worth it.

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Featured photo credit: Ashley Rich via unsplash.com

Reference

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