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Don’t Let Their Smile Fool You

Don’t Let Their Smile Fool You

We are all connected. We are all human beings with souls going through our journeys of trials and tribulations. We are all experiencing life in our own ways and on our own different paths. We are all experiencing emotions of happiness, laughter, love, loss, pain and everything in between.

If you stop and look around, notice the people that walk past, notice the people you work with or even the people close to you. If you look close enough, you will see that each one of us is fighting our own battle. Whether it be a battle of overcoming a loss or even a battle to achieve our dreams. It may even be a battle to just be able to get out of bed each morning and make it to the next day.

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No one’s life is as perfect as it looks

Even the successful, the beautiful and the well-known people that seem to have it all, think about it, do they really? We all have problems. The truth of the matter is that we will always face problems in some sort of manner. It’s a part of life and it’s what makes us grow.

We tend to judge and compare our lives to those that seem to have what we want but do we really know what they’re feeling? They may even have an illness we don’t know about. They may have some sort of addiction or experiencing abuse we don’t know about. They may be going through some tough circumstances. What people show to the public is not always necessarily the whole picture..

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There is more to life than the glitz, glamour and what is shown on social media. Not everyone will post their problems. There is a lot going on behind the scenes. We shouldn’t compare our lives to others. We don’t know what it took for them to get to where they are and we don’t know the battle they are fighting themselves.

I have never met a strong person with an easy past

There are people that seem so confident, seem to have it together and when things get tough, it seems to not affect them as it would others. Their smile lights up the room and their presence is felt wherever they are. How can they be so happy? How can they be so strong? We start to wish we had their confidence and use the excuse that they can do it because they’re confident and it’s just not in our own personality.

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In my journey thus far, some of the strongest, most confident people I have met have gone through the worst pain and struggles. Once I got to know them and learnt of their past and their stories, my heart felt for them. I wanted to cry. They weren’t just naturally tough. They weren’t born with confidence. These people are the way they are because life gave them no other choice.

Comparing ourselves to others

We really shouldn’t compare ourselves to others. If we look deep enough we will find that we all are messed up. We all have issues. We all have fears. Some just hide it better than the others. The strongest and happiest people have been through hell and back. The only thing that kept them sane was the faith and hope that they would make it through the end of the dark tunnel.

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Those people that seem to always be happy, always be laughing, always be smiling – take a deeper look. Don’t let their smile fool you because behind every smile, every laughter, every person is a story yet to be told.

Featured photo credit: Lupine Photography via facebook.com

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Last Updated on January 18, 2019

7 Ways To Deal With Negative People

7 Ways To Deal With Negative People

Some people will have a rain cloud hanging over them, no matter what the weather is outside. Their negative attitude is toxic to your own moods, and you probably feel like there is little you can do about it.

But that couldn’t be farther from the truth.

If you want to effectively deal with negative people and be a champion of positivity, then your best route is to take definite action through some of the steps below.

1. Limit the time you spend with them.

First, let’s get this out of the way. You can be more positive than a cartoon sponge, but even your enthusiasm has a chance of being afflicted by the constant negativity of a friend.

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In fact, negativity has been proven to damage your health physically, making you vulnerable to high levels of stress and even cardiac disease. There’s no reason to get hurt because of someone else’s bad mood.

Though this may be a little tricky depending on your situation, working to spend slightly less time around negative people will keep your own spirits from slipping as well.

2. Speak up for yourself.

Don’t just absorb the comments that you are being bombarded with, especially if they are about you. It’s wise to be quick to listen and slow to speak, but being too quiet can give the person the impression that you are accepting what’s being said.

3. Don’t pretend that their behavior is “OK.”

This is an easy trap to fall into. Point out to the person that their constant negativity isn’t a good thing. We don’t want to do this because it’s far easier to let someone sit in their woes, and we’d rather just stay out of it.

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But if you want the best for this person, avoid giving the false impression that their negativity is normal.

4. Don’t make their problems your problems.

Though I consider empathy a gift, it can be a dangerous thing. When we hear the complaints of a friend or family member, we typically start to take on their burdens with them.

This is a bad habit to get into, especially if this is a person who is almost exclusively negative. These types of people are prone to embellishing and altering a story in order to gain sympathy.

Why else would they be sharing this with you?

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5. Change the subject.

When you suspect that a conversation is starting to take a turn for the negative, be a champion of positivity by changing the subject. Of course, you have to do this without ignoring what the other person said.

Acknowledge their comment, but move the conversation forward before the euphoric pleasure gained from complaining takes hold of either of you.

6. Talk about solutions, not problems.

Sometimes, changing the subject isn’t an option if you want to deal with negative people, but that doesn’t mean you can’t still be positive.

I know that when someone begins dumping complaints on me, I have a hard time knowing exactly what to say. The key is to measure your responses as solution-based.

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You can do this by asking questions like, “Well, how could this be resolved?” or, “How do you think they feel about it?”

Use discernment to find an appropriate response that will help your friend manage their perspectives.

7. Leave them behind.

Sadly, there are times when we have to move on without these friends, especially if you have exhausted your best efforts toward building a positive relationship.

If this person is a family member, you can still have a functioning relationship with them, of course, but you may still have to limit the influence they have over your wellbeing.

That being said, what are some steps you’ve taken to deal with negative people? Let us know in the comments.

You may also want to read: How to Stop the Negative Spin of Thoughts, Emotions and Actions.

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