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Don’t Let Their Smile Fool You

Don’t Let Their Smile Fool You

We are all connected. We are all human beings with souls going through our journeys of trials and tribulations. We are all experiencing life in our own ways and on our own different paths. We are all experiencing emotions of happiness, laughter, love, loss, pain and everything in between.

If you stop and look around, notice the people that walk past, notice the people you work with or even the people close to you. If you look close enough, you will see that each one of us is fighting our own battle. Whether it be a battle of overcoming a loss or even a battle to achieve our dreams. It may even be a battle to just be able to get out of bed each morning and make it to the next day.

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No one’s life is as perfect as it looks

Even the successful, the beautiful and the well-known people that seem to have it all, think about it, do they really? We all have problems. The truth of the matter is that we will always face problems in some sort of manner. It’s a part of life and it’s what makes us grow.

We tend to judge and compare our lives to those that seem to have what we want but do we really know what they’re feeling? They may even have an illness we don’t know about. They may have some sort of addiction or experiencing abuse we don’t know about. They may be going through some tough circumstances. What people show to the public is not always necessarily the whole picture..

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There is more to life than the glitz, glamour and what is shown on social media. Not everyone will post their problems. There is a lot going on behind the scenes. We shouldn’t compare our lives to others. We don’t know what it took for them to get to where they are and we don’t know the battle they are fighting themselves.

I have never met a strong person with an easy past

There are people that seem so confident, seem to have it together and when things get tough, it seems to not affect them as it would others. Their smile lights up the room and their presence is felt wherever they are. How can they be so happy? How can they be so strong? We start to wish we had their confidence and use the excuse that they can do it because they’re confident and it’s just not in our own personality.

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In my journey thus far, some of the strongest, most confident people I have met have gone through the worst pain and struggles. Once I got to know them and learnt of their past and their stories, my heart felt for them. I wanted to cry. They weren’t just naturally tough. They weren’t born with confidence. These people are the way they are because life gave them no other choice.

Comparing ourselves to others

We really shouldn’t compare ourselves to others. If we look deep enough we will find that we all are messed up. We all have issues. We all have fears. Some just hide it better than the others. The strongest and happiest people have been through hell and back. The only thing that kept them sane was the faith and hope that they would make it through the end of the dark tunnel.

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Those people that seem to always be happy, always be laughing, always be smiling – take a deeper look. Don’t let their smile fool you because behind every smile, every laughter, every person is a story yet to be told.

Featured photo credit: Lupine Photography via facebook.com

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Last Updated on July 10, 2020

How to Reinvent Yourself and Change Your Life

How to Reinvent Yourself and Change Your Life

There will always be times in your life when you may need to learn how to reinvent yourself. This could come when you experience a big change, such as leaving your job, moving on from a relationship, transferring to a new home, or losing a loved one. If you are going through a major shift in your life, you may have to find new ways of thinking or doing things, or risk failing to reach your full potential.

“When something bad happens, you have three choices. You can let it define you, let it destroy you, or you can let it strengthen you.”

Many people who dared to leave their old unhappy lives enabled themselves to pursue their passions and find a renewed zest for living. You can also achieve the same if you take a leap of faith and make things happen for yourself.

To help you always be at your best wherever you may be in your life, here are some practical tips on how to reinvent yourself.

The Reinvention Checklist

Before embarking on a journey of self-reinvention, you need to make sure that you have everything that you need to make the trip bump-proof. These things include:

Resilience

Problems and obstacles are guaranteed to happen. Some of them will be difficult and may knock you off course; the important thing, however, is that you learn from these difficulties, never lose focus, and always get back up. This requires building resilience to get through the tough times.

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Support

Humans are social beings. Although it is important that you learn to rely on yourself when facing any challenge, it is also important to have a support team that you can lean on to give you a boost when things get too tough and to correct you when you’re making mistakes.

The key is to find the right balance between independence and dependence. Don’t be afraid to be vulnerable and share the difficulties you’re facing. When you open up, you’ll find the people who are really going to be there for you.

Self-Care

During the process of learning how to reinvent yourself, you will have to pull yourself away from your old comfort zones, habits, roles, and self-perceptions. This can be difficult and cause you to question your self-worth, so it’s important to engage in self-care to maintain a positive outlook and keep your mind and body healthy as you face the challenges that await you. Self-care can include:

  • Participating in a hobby you enjoy
  • Spending time with your support system
  • Taking some time to walk in nature
  • Practicing loving-kindness meditation

Find what works for you and what helps you feel like your true self as you seek a reinvented version of you.

How to Reinvent Yourself

Once you’re sure that you’re equipped with all the tools in the self-reinvention checklist, you can begin your journey of learning how to reinvent yourself.

1. Discover Your Strengths

This step provides valuable information on how you deal with certain situations. If you have this information, you will be able to manage difficulties more efficiently.

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To find out what your strengths are, you can ask your friends and colleagues for feedback, engage in self-reflection, or try these 10 Ways to Find Your Own Personal Strengths.

2. Plan

This step calls for a thorough assessment of your current emotional, psychological, and financial status so that you can develop plans that are realistic and practical.

It’s okay to have ambitious dreams, but your plans have to be realistic. Making use of SMART goals can help you plan your life better.

You can also consult your mentor or life coach for practical tips and advice.

Ultimately, you’ll want to create specific long-term and short-term goals that you can create milestones for. By doing this, you’ll lay out a specific roadmap to your reinvented self.

3. Try Things Out

Sometimes, we don’t know if solutions actually work until we try them out. This is why it is important to experiment whenever possible, especially if you’re dealing with a career change. You may need to simply experiment in order to find the things you like. This can be the same with hobbies. If you’re not sure what you would like doing, accept invitations from friends to join them in their favorite sport or take a class, like pottery or photography.

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By seeing what’s out there in any area of your life, you’ll have a better chance of finding the things you enjoy and the goals you want to create.

4. Manage Your Finances Well

Changes may require a bit of money. If you’re shifting to a new career, you may have to pay for training. If you’re going through a tough divorce or having a hard time dealing with the death of a loved one, you may have to pay for therapy. If you’re moving to a new home, you’ll definitely have to pay a whole lot of expenses.

All of these things are possible, but it will require a bit of money savviness as you learn how to reinvent yourself. If you have that cushion, you’ll feel more comfortable straying from your current path to try new things.

5. Muster Your Courage

Fears and self-doubt may arise when you encounter difficulties and setbacks. Sometimes, they may also come when you’re taking risks. You have to manage these negative emotions well and not allow them to discourage you. Tap into your courage and try doing at least one new thing each week to develop it.

Learn how to deal with your self-doubts to move forward in this article: How Self Doubt Keeps You Stuck (And How to Overcome It)

6. Use Your Support Group

As stated above, you need to build a strong support group before you even start the process of reinventing yourself. Your group will keep you from taking wrong turns and encourage you when you get too weighed down by problems. Don’t be afraid to call them, or even ask them out for coffee if you need to vent about the current difficulties you’re facing.

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7. Remind Yourself Every Day of Your Commitment

Write your goals on different-sized cards and scatter them at home and at work in places where you can easily see them. This way, you will constantly be reminded of where you want to be. Remember, writing down your goals helps them stick[1].

8. Accept Failure, Learn, and Resume Your Journey

Failing is normal, especially when we’re trying out something new. When you fail, simply recognize it, learn from it, and move on. Failure, in the end, is the best way to learn what does and doesn’t work, and you simply won’t be able to learn how to reinvent yourself if you don’t accept the inevitable failures that await you.

Final Thoughts

If you truly want to learn how to reinvent yourself and live the life you desire, take the advice above and start taking action. It will take time, patience, and plenty of effort to make the change you want happen, but it will be all worth it.

More Tips on How to Reinvent Yourself

Featured photo credit: Ashley Rich via unsplash.com

Reference

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