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6 Things That Make A Great Friend

6 Things That Make A Great Friend

Friendships come and go. But what is the real friendship? For me, real friendship is when it goes away but then comes back. Think of a best friend in high school who moved to another country or state to study. You try to stay the same way with each other by regularly calling, facetiming, and updating each other on Facebook or Instagram.

But slowly, you notice that the communication is getting less and less. And as more time passes by, you find yourself not knowing much about this other person whom you used to call your best friend. After a year of not being in each other’s lives, you meet gain and suddenly everything seem like the way they used to be. No animosity, no unfamiliarity, only feelings of comfort in hearing each other laugh and share stories. That is what real friendship is to me. But what does it really take to be a great friend?

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1. You acknowledge that people need space to grow.

We are all wanderers on this planet and no two persons’ destinies are the same. We grow in many different ways and walk through many different paths. And even though paths might separate, they can meet again; when those paths meet, you don’t resent the other person for going away. You appreciate it and recognize that this new person might have turned out to be a better person than before.

2. Everything is natural.

Like in a romantic relationship, friendships need to be natural. When you are with a great friend, you don’t feel the need to come up with a plan on what to talk about. You don’t feel uncomfortable in moments of silence. You can be yourself and the other person brings out the positive side of you.

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    3. Your friendship stands the test of time.

    You probably got married and the other person decided to go to grad school. On your child’s third birthday, your friend comes and celebrates with your whole family. Then when your friend got married, you were chosen to be one of the bridesmaids even if you lived far apart. This means that real friendships go over several different stages in our lives.

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    4. You think about the other person and hope that everything is well.

    You might be really busy with work after you had moved to the big city. But in between those busy moments, thoughts of your friend enter your mind and you quietly wish that everything is going well on his or her side. You call or text to make sure that everything is ok.

    5. You keep your lines open.

    Nobody is too busy to talk to a good friend. Whether you are out on the subway or standing in line at the grocery while towing two crying babies, you can still answer a call or call a friend back. Or even email back. Communication is easy with technology. After all, when you need help or someone to talk to, it will be your turn to make a call.

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    6. You share.

    Information, time, a phone call, or a picture. It doesn’t matter what you share, what matters is that you do. If the other person is unemployed and you see a job posting, you pass the information on. You do not hold back if you know it would help the other person. Or if you know the other person will like or enjoy it. You share without expecting anything in return.

    There are many other ways that someone can be a great friend. In the end, these will be the people that are there for us to listen, hold our hand when we are lost, and appreciate us as a person. And to be a great friend, we need to do the same things in return.

    Featured photo credit: Pexels.com via static.pexels.com

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    Sarah Bonander

    Writer, Human Resources Professional

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    Last Updated on November 15, 2018

    Success In Reaching Goals Is Determined By Mindset

    Success In Reaching Goals Is Determined By Mindset

    What do you think it takes to achieve your goals? Hard work? Lots of actions? While these are paramount to becoming successful in reaching our goals, neither of these are possible without a positive mindset.

    As humans, we naturally tend to lean towards a negative outlook when it comes to our hopes and dreams. We are prone to believing that we have limitations either from within ourselves or from external forces keeping us from truly getting to where we want to be in life. Our tendency to think that we’ll “believe it when we see it” suggests that our mindsets are focused on our goals not really being attainable until they’ve been achieved. The problem with this is that this common mindset fuels our limiting beliefs and shows a lack of faith in ourselves.

    The Success Mindset

    Success in achieving our goals comes down to a ‘success mindset’. Successful mindsets are those focused on victory, based on positive mental attitudes, empowering inclinations and good habits. Acquiring a success mindset is the sure-fire way to dramatically increase your chance to achieve your goals.

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    The idea that achieving our goals comes down to our habits and actions is actually a typical type of mindset that misses a crucial point; that our mindset is, in fact, the determiner of our energy and what actions we take. A negative mindset will tend to create negative actions and similarly if we have a mindset that will only set into action once we see ‘proof’ that our goals are achievable, then the road will be much longer and arduous. This is why, instead of thinking “I’ll believe it when I see it”, a success mindset will think “I’ll see it when I believe it.”

    The Placebo Effect and What It Shows Us About The Power of Mindset

    The placebo effect is a perfect example of how mindset really can be powerful. In scientific trials, a group of participants were told they received medication that will heal an ailment but were actually given a sugar pill that does nothing (the placebo). Yet after the trial the participants believed it’s had a positive effect – sometimes even cured their ailment even though nothing has changed. This is the power of mindset.

    How do we apply this to our goals? Well, when we set goals and dreams how often do we really believe they’ll come to fruition? Have absolute faith that they can be achieved? Have a complete unwavering expectation? Most of us don’t because we hold on to negative mindsets and limiting beliefs about ourselves that stop us from fully believing we are capable or that it’s at all possible. We tend to listen to the opinions of others despite them misaligning with our own or bow to societal pressures that make us believe we should think and act a certain way. There are many reasons why we possess these types of mindsets but a success mindset can be achieved.

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    How To Create a Success Mindset

    People with success mindsets have a particular way of perceiving things. They have positive outlooks and are able to put faith fully in their ability to succeed. With that in mind, here are a few ways that can turn a negative mindset into a successful one.

    1. A Success Mindset Comes From a Growth Mindset

    How does a mindset even manifest itself? It comes from the way you talk to yourself in the privacy of your own head. Realising this will go a long way towards noticing how you speak to yourself and others around you. If it’s mainly negative language you use when you talk about your goals and aspirations then this is an example of a fixed mindset.

    A negative mindset brings with it a huge number of limiting beliefs. It creates a fixed mindset – one that can’t see beyond it’s own limitations. A growth mindset sees these limitations and looks beyond them – it finds ways to overcome obstacles and believes that this will result in success. When you think of your goal, a fixed mindset may think “what if I fail?” A growth mindset would look at the same goal and think “failures happen but that doesn’t mean I won’t be successful.”

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    There’s a lot of power in changing your perspective.

    2. Look For The Successes

    It’s really important to get your mind focused on positive aspects of your goal. Finding inspiration through others can be really uplifting and keep you on track with developing your success mindset; reinforcing your belief that your dreams can be achieved. Find people that you can talk with about how they achieved their goals and seek out and surround yourself with positive people. This is crucial if you’re learning to develop a positive mindset.

    3. Eliminate Negativity

    You can come up against a lot of negativity sometimes either through other people or within yourself. Understanding that other people’s negative opinions are created through their own fears and limiting beliefs will go a long way in sustaining your success mindset. But for a lot of us, negative chatter can come from within and these usually manifest as negative words such as can’t, won’t, shouldn’t. Sometimes, when we think of how we’re going to achieve our goals, statements in our minds come out as negative absolutes: ‘It never works out for me’ or ‘I always fail.’

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    When you notice these coming up you need to turn them around with ‘It always works out for me!’ and ‘I never fail!’ The trick is to believe it no matter what’s happened in the past. Remember that every new day is a clean slate and for you to adjust your mindset.

    4. Create a Vision

    Envisioning your end goal and seeing it in your mind is an important trait of a success mindset. Allowing ourselves to imagine our success creates a powerful excitement that shouldn’t be underestimated. When our brain becomes excited at the thought of achieving our goals, we become more committed, work harder towards achieving it and more likely to do whatever it takes to make it happen.

    If this involves creating a vision board that you can look at to remind yourself every day then go for it. Small techniques like this go a long way in sustaining your success mindset and shouldn’t be dismissed.

    An Inspirational Story…

    For centuries experts said that running a mile in under 4 minutes was humanly impossible. On the 6th May 1954, Rodger Bannister did just that. As part of his training, Bannister relentlessly visualised the achievement, believing he could accomplish what everyone said wasn’t possible…and he did it.

    What’s more amazing is that, as soon as Bannister achieved the 4-minute mile, more and more people also achieved it. How was this possible after so many years of no one achieving it? Because in people’s minds it was suddenly possible – once people knew that it was achievable it created a mindset of success and now, after over fifty years since Bannister did the ‘impossible’, his record has been lowered by 17 seconds – the power of the success mindset!

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