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How to Plan an Asian Wedding No Matter Where You Live

How to Plan an Asian Wedding No Matter Where You Live

Your heritage is an important part of who you are. That means you want your wedding to accurately reflect the traditions you value, even if you don’t live in your country of origin. Luckily, you can plan an appropriate ceremony regardless of where you live.

To help you figure out how to integrate the things that matter most to you into your special day, here are some tips to help you plan the Asian wedding of your dreams.

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Location, Location, Location

One of the first steps in planning a wedding is choosing an appropriate setting. If you attend a particular house of worship, it may be an ideal spot for your ceremony. Different religions are represented in most major cities. This means you can find a place that suits your preferences with a little searching. If you can’t find something in your hometown, consider researching options in the largest city within a reasonable distance from where you live.

If you are open to travelling, you can consider finding a location in your country of origin. While arranging a destination wedding can be complex, it can also be worth the effort. Nothing gives you access to traditional services like being in the country from which they were built.

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Certain locations with flexible purposes can also work well. This can include large ballrooms or banquet halls, or other facilities that can be rented or reserved. Often, you can decorate these spaces to taste as long as you are able to have them cleaned up once the ceremony is done. Sometimes, you can combine your ceremony and reception in one location, making attending both highly convenient.

Dress and Décor

The internet makes it easy to find appropriate attire and décor regardless of where you live. You can choose items that best represent your culture and have them delivered directly to your home. This may give you options that would otherwise be unavailable in your local area.

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You can also choose options that reflect the colours most commonly associated with your ceremony. If you focus on colour, you may not need to search outside your own town. Most party supply stores have a wide variety available throughout most of the year. However, if you don’t find exactly what you want, you can always look online as well.

Work with a Planner

If the idea of pulling it all together yourself seems too challenging, consider working with a wedding planner that specializes in Asian weddings. Asian wedding planners are familiar with your cultural preferences, and will be aware of the options in your area. They may also have access to special deals otherwise not available to the public.

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Once you define what you want in your ceremony, a wedding planner can make all of the arrangements in your name. That means you do not have to call every possible location, speak with every florist, or track down the perfect favours for the table. Instead, you have a professional on your side to manage all of those tasks.

In some cases, you can have your wedding planner coordinate your big day too. That means they will make sure everyone is where they should be and that all of the events are properly coordinated. This allows you to relax and enjoy your wedding instead of running around trying to find out if everything is ready to go.

Plan Now for a Perfect Day

If you think planning your wedding will be a challenge, get started as soon as possible. The more time you have available, the less stressful the entire event will be. Make sure your support system is ready, and then start making arrangements. You’ll be enjoying your big day before you know it.

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Last Updated on September 10, 2018

Overcoming The Pain Of A Breakup: 3 Suggestions Based On Science

Overcoming The Pain Of A Breakup: 3 Suggestions Based On Science

We thought that the expression ‘broken heart’ was just a metaphor, but science is telling us that it is not: breakups and rejections do cause physical pain. When a group of psychologists asked research participants to look at images of their ex-partners who broke up with them, researchers found that the same brain areas that are activated by physical pain are also activated by looking at images of ex-partners. Looking at images of our ex is a painful experience, literally.[1].

Given that the effect of rejections and breakups is the same as the effect of physical pain, scientists have speculated on whether the practices that reduce physical pain could be used to reduce the emotional pain that follows from breakups and rejections. In a study on whether painkillers reduce the emotional pain caused by a breakup, researchers found that painkillers did help. Individuals who took painkillers were better able to deal with their breakup. Tamar Cohen wrote that “A simple dose of paracetamol could help ease the pain of a broken heart.”[2]

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Just like painkillers can be used to ease the pain of a broken heart, other practices that ease physical pain can also be used to ease the pain of rejections and breakups. Three of these scientifically validated practices are presented in this article.

Looking at images of loved ones

While images of ex-partners stimulate the pain neuro-circuitry in our brain, images of loved ones activate a different circuitry. Looking at images of people who care about us increases the release of oxytocin in our body. Oxytocin, or the “cuddle hormone,” is the hormone that our body relies on to induce in us a soothing feeling of tranquility, even when we are under high stress and pain.

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In fact, oxytocin was found to have a crucial role as a mother is giving birth to her baby. Despite the extreme pain that a mother has to endure during delivery, the high level of oxytocin secreted by her body transforms pain into pleasure. Mariem Melainine notes that, “Oxytocin levels are usually at their peak during delivery, which promotes a sense of euphoria in the mother and helps her develop a stronger bond with her baby.”[3]

Whenever you feel tempted to look at images of your ex-partner, log into your Facebook page and start browsing images of your loved ones. As Eva Ritvo, M.D. notes, “Facebook fools our brain into believing that loved ones surround us, which historically was essential to our survival. The human brain, because it evolved thousands of years before photography, fails on many levels to recognize the difference between pictures and people”[4]

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Exercise

Endorphins are neurotransmitters that reduce our perception of pain. When our body is high on endorphins, painful sensations are kept outside of conscious awareness. It was found that exercise causes endorphins to be secreted in the brain and as a result produce a feeling of power, as psychologist Alex Korb noted in his book: “Exercise causes your brain to release endorphins, neurotransmitters that act on your neurons like opiates (such as morphine or Vicodin) by sending a neural signal to reduce pain and provide anxiety relief.”[5] By inhibiting pain from being transmitted to our brain, exercise acts as a powerful antidote to the pain caused by rejections and breakups.

Meditation

Jon Kabat Zinn, a doctor who pioneered the use of mindfulness meditation therapy for patients with chronic pain, has argued that it is not pain itself that is harmful to our mental health, rather, it is the way we react to pain. When we react to pain with irritation, frustration, and self-pity, more pain is generated, and we enter a never ending spiral of painful thoughts and sensations.

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In order to disrupt the domino effect caused by reacting to pain with pain, Kabat Zinn and other proponents of mindfulness meditation therapy have suggested reacting to pain through nonjudgmental contemplation and acceptance. By practicing meditation on a daily basis and getting used to the habit of paying attention to the sensations generated by our body (including the painful ones and by observing these sensations nonjudgmentally and with compassion) our brain develops the habit of reacting to pain with grace and patience.

When you find yourself thinking about a recent breakup or a recent rejection, close your eyes and pay attention to the sensations produced by your body. Take deep breaths and as you are feeling the sensations produced by your body, distance yourself from them, and observe them without judgment and with compassion. If your brain starts wandering and gets distracted, gently bring back your compassionate nonjudgmental attention to your body. Try to do this exercise for one minute and gradually increase its duration.

With consistent practice, nonjudgmental acceptance will become our default reaction to breakups, rejections, and other disappointments that we experience in life. Every rejection and every breakup teaches us great lessons about relationships and about ourselves.

Featured photo credit: condesign via pixabay.com

Reference

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