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Make Anyone Addicted to Every Word You Say

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Make Anyone Addicted to Every Word You Say

We know the power of communication – it wins elections, jobs, friends, creates billionaires – it decides destiny.

It’s the one skill which skyrockets our success in every situation.

In five words:

It can transform your life.

We look for “writing tips” or “speaking tips” or “how-tos” to become a master communicator.

Yet, we can practice for months, and still, know we’re not “great”, but have no idea what separates us from a genius.

COMMUNICATION. A MASTER LEVEL.

In this article, we explore, in under 5 minutes, strategies every speaking person should know.

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I’ve analyzed the most successful authors, speakers, and presenters, and found they all apply 3 simple strategies:

  1. Focus on what’s important
  2. Make information as accessible as possible
  3. Eliminate crap and move quickly

FOCUS, FOCUS, FOCUS.

Greatness is distilled to core essence – it gives a person what they need – nothing more.

We rarely understand why we do what we do, or the “x factor” which makes something work.

People have short attention spans.

If they must put in tremendous effort to process something most will leave.

This doesn’t mean what we communicate can’t be 4,000 words.

Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix is 257,045 words and sold 11,000,000 copies in 24 hours.

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How do we create communication which captures everyone’s attention?

NOT WHAT WE SAY. HOW WE SAY IT.

Brilliant communication focuses on what’s said.

We know exactly what our audience wants, and throw away everything they don’t.

To do this, we search for:

  1. Unnecessary language.
  2. Repetitive language.

Here is an example from actor Kiefer Sutherland:

Their circumstances are very different and what they end up having to deal with is very different. But this idea of self-sacrifice for a larger good was something that is very much a common thread in both of those characters. I found that interesting, actually, that in the first pass of a read I didn’t get that at all. Only until I was playing it did I realize, ‘Ah, that’s why I like this character that much.’ That’s why I like Jack Bauer that much.”

Save time, effort, and make it great…

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Their circumstances, and what they end up having to deal with, is very different. Self-sacrifice for a larger good was common in both characters. In the first read I didn’t get that. Only until I was playing it did I realize, ‘that’s why I like this character.’ That’s why I like Jack Bauer.”

IMPROVEMENT. BY THE NUMBERS.

We went from 85 to 55 words – a 36% improvement – while removing none of the message, wasting less time, and giving the reader a better experience.

In a 2,500 word article or video, that’s 900 words.

Based on the average read speed of 200 wpm, that’s nearly 5 minutes of a 12-minute article, which can be trimmed to 7 minutes by removing unnecessary text.

Do we want to spend 30 minutes learning something we can learn in 15?

When we focus on creating engaging communication:

  1. It takes less effort
  2. We feel our time is better used
  3. Our audience prefers our simplicity over competitors’ complexity

In 4 words:

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GIVE ME THE MEAT.

A MASTERPIECE. ANYWHERE.

Ask yourself:

  1. What wouldn’t be missed if I eliminated it?
  2. What distracts from my core message?
  3. How can I make my communication quicker and more entertaining?

With practice, our brain gains intuition, and we become a master communicator automatically.

Take any piece of communication – see how efficient you can make it.

Want to be the best?

Commit to doing everything to deliver a brilliant experience.

Practice this skill over and over – it will transform your success in every area more than any other technique.

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Small details make the difference between good and great – whatever you do, make it great.

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Last Updated on November 18, 2021

10 Proven Ways to Judge a Person’s Character

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10 Proven Ways to Judge a Person’s Character

We all fall into the trap of judging a person’s character by their appearance. How wrong we are! All too often, the real character of the person only appears when some negative event hits them or you. Then you may see a toxic person emerging from the ruins and it is often a shock.

A truly frightening example is revealed in the book by O’Toole in Bowman called Dangerous Instincts: How Gut Instincts Betray Us. A perfectly respectable, charming, well dressed neighbor was found to have installed a torture chamber in his garage where he was systematically abusing kidnapped women. This is an extreme example, but it does show how we can be totally deceived by a person’s physical appearance, manners and behavior.

So, what can you do? You want to be able to assess personal qualities when you come into contact with colleagues, fresh acquaintances and new friends who might even become lifelong partners. You want to know if they are:

  • honest
  • reliable
  • competent
  • kind and compassionate
  • capable of taking the blame
  • able to persevere
  • modest and humble
  • pacific and can control anger.

The secret is to reserve judgment and take your time. Observe them in certain situations; look at how they react. Listen to them talking, joking, laughing, explaining, complaining, blaming, praising, ranting, and preaching. Only then will you be able to judge their character. This is not foolproof, but if you follow the 10 ways below, you have a pretty good chance of not ending up in an abusive relationship.

1. Is anger a frequent occurrence?

All too often, angry reactions which may seem to be excessive are a sign that there are underlying issues. Do not think that every person who just snaps and throws his/her weight around mentally and physically is just reacting normally. Everyone has an occasional angry outburst when driving or when things go pear-shaped.

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But if this is almost a daily occurrence, then you need to discover why and maybe avoid that person. Too often, anger will escalate to violent and aggressive behavior. You do not want to be near someone who thinks violence can solve personal or global problems.

2. Can you witness acts of kindness?

How often do you see this person being kind and considerate? Do they give money to beggars, donate to charity, do voluntary work or in some simple way show that they are willing to share the planet with about 7 billion other people?

I was shocked when a guest of mine never showed any kindness to the weak and disadvantaged people in our town. She was ostensibly a religious person, but I began to doubt the sincerity of her beliefs.

“The best index to a person’s character is how he treats people who can’t do him any good, and how he treats people who can’t fight back.”

Abigail Van Buren

3. How does this person take the blame?

Maybe you know that s/he is responsible for a screw-up in the office or even in not turning up on time for a date. Look at their reaction. If they start blaming other colleagues or the traffic, well, this is an indication that they are not willing to take responsibility for their mistakes.

4. Don’t use Facebook as an indicator.

You will be relieved to know that graphology (the study of that forgotten skill of handwriting) is no longer considered a reliable test of a person’s character. Neither is Facebook stalking, fortunately. A study showed that Facebook use of foul language, sexual innuendo and gossip were not reliable indicators of a candidate’s character or future performance in the workplace.

5. Read their emails.

Now a much better idea is to read the person’s emails. Studies show that the use of the following can indicate certain personality traits:

  • Too many exclamation points may reveal a sunny disposition
  • Frequent errors may indicate apathy
  • Use of smileys is the only way a person can smile at you
  • Use of the third person may reveal a certain formality
  • Too many question marks can show anger
  • Overuse of capital letters is regarded as shouting. They are a definite no-no in netiquette, yet a surprising number of  people still use them.

6. Watch out for the show offs.

Listen to people as they talk. How often do they mention their achievements, promotions, awards and successes? If this happens a lot, it is a sure indication that this person has an over-inflated view of his/her achievements. They are unlikely to be modest or show humility. What a pity!  Another person to avoid.

7. Look for evidence of perseverance.

A powerful indicator of grit and tenacity is when a person persists and never gives up when they really want to achieve a life goal. Look for evidence of them keeping going in spite of enormous difficulties.

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Great achievements by scientists and inventors all bear the hallmark of perseverance. We only have to think of Einstein, Edison (who failed thousands of times) and Nelson Mandela to get inspiration. The US Department of Education is in no doubt about how grit, tenacity and perseverance will be key success factors for youth in the 21st century.

8. Their empathy score is high.

Listen to how they talk about the less fortunate members of our society such as the poor, immigrants and the disabled. Do you notice that they talk in a compassionate way about these people? The fact that they even mention them is a strong indicator of empathy.

People with zero empathy will never talk about the disadvantaged. They will rarely ask you a question about a difficult time or relationship. They will usually steer the conversation back to themselves. These people have zero empathy and in extreme cases, they are psychopaths who never show any feelings towards their victims.

9. Learn how to be socially interactive.

We are social animals and this is what makes us so uniquely human. If a person is isolated or a loner, this may be a negative indicator of their character. You want to meet a person who knows about trust, honesty and loyalty. The only way to practice these great qualities is to actually interact socially. The great advantage is that you can share problems and celebrate success and joy together.

“One can acquire everything in solitude, except character.”

Stendhal

 10. Avoid toxic people.

These people are trying to control others and often are failing to come to terms with their own failures. Typical behavior and conversations may concern:

  • Envy or jealousy
  • Criticism of partners, colleagues and friends
  • Complaining about their own lack of success
  • Blaming others for their own bad luck or failure
  • Obsession with themselves and their problems

Listen to these people talk and you will quickly discover that you need to avoid them at all costs because their negativity will drag you down. In addition, as much as you would like to help them, you are not qualified to do so.

Now, having looked at some of the best ways to judge a person, what about yourself? How do others see you? Why not take Dr. Phil’s quiz and find out. Can you bear it?

Featured photo credit: Jacek Dylag via unsplash.com

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