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4 Important Pillars for Building a Strong Relationship with Your Lover

4 Important Pillars for Building a Strong Relationship with Your Lover

Building a strong relationship with the one you love isn’t your responsibility alone. It takes two to have a relationship; therefore it also takes two to have a strong relationship. Unfortunately, many people who are either dating or married don’t realize that their participation has a lot of weight on their relationship.

That causes most of them to suffer, or even have to experience bad breakups just because they aren’t exercising their part. If you’re having such a problem with your significant other, this post may be able to help you guys in some cases.

There are many supporting factors to enable you to have a strong relationship; however, I’m going to share just a few important ones with you here. More precisely, I’m sharing four of them with you.

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Pillar # 1: Trust your partner

Trust is said to be a skill that one has to learn. This notion of trust being a skill that someone has to learn isn’t something that we commonly hear people talk about in our society. You may hear people talking about how to build trust, how to prove trust, or even how to restore trust, but talking about learning to trust is very minimal. Nonetheless, it’s one of the most important parts in a strong relationship.

Therefore you ought to learn how to trust your lover. It will not happen over night, any skill would require practice and trials. This skill is not an exception to that; you’ll need to practice in order to develop this skill as well.

Pillar # 2: Have good communication skills

Good communication is important in almost everything. Business’ owners are usually emphasizing on the importance of good communication skills. That’s because they’re looking to build good relationship with their customers.

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Although a romantic relationship and a business relationship are two different contexts, good communication is required in both of them in order for them to last. Nevertheless, a married couple will have to try to be even better in communicating to one another. Do you want to know why? They live in the same house and spend more time together. If they aren’t communicating correctly like two respectful adults, they won’t have a healthy relationship.

Pillar # 3: Respect for each other

Respect is a behavior that’s found in all healthy and strong relationships. With mutual respect many things can be done in a relationship. That means you’ll have to give your respect in order to get it from your significant other.

Doctor Peter Gray states, “In relationships, respect may be even more crucial than love.”

Who could’ve thought of that? Well, Dr. Gray who’s a psychologist gives his opinion as stated above, that’s to show you how important respect is in a relationship. Although we need love from our boyfriend, girlfriend, fiancée, husband, or wife, respect is also expected, and it’s crucial to have it. If there’s no respect, then the love won’t be able to be shown – it’s just as simple as that.

Pillar # 4: Practice compromising

Although argument in a relationship is completely normal, sometimes couples have to get to a point where they decide to compromise. When two individuals are involved in a relationship and neither one of them can compromise, it’s really not a good thing.

If you and your partner are able to compromise when you guys are having an argument, resolution will always be found quicker. As a result your relationship will be healthier and stronger.

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To wrap up

Being in a healthy and happy relationship requires hard work from both parties. There isn’t one single couple out there who have never found themselves in some difficult times. What’s important is the ability to surpass those hard times and move forward. I was able to share some important tips with you in this post so that your relationship can get stronger.

Always remember, there’s no such thing as a perfect relationship. All relationships suffer at some point, but you’ll always have to be ready to work and to fix your relationship when you have to.

Featured photo credit: Toa Heftiba via hd.unsplash.com

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The Gentle Art of Saying No

The Gentle Art of Saying No

No!

It’s a simple fact that you can never be productive if you take on too many commitments — you simply spread yourself too thin and will not be able to get anything done, at least not well or on time.

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But requests for your time are coming in all the time — through phone, email, IM or in person. To stay productive, and minimize stress, you have to learn the Gentle Art of Saying No — an art that many people have problems with.

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What’s so hard about saying no? Well, to start with, it can hurt, anger or disappoint the person you’re saying “no” to, and that’s not usually a fun task. Second, if you hope to work with that person in the future, you’ll want to continue to have a good relationship with that person, and saying “no” in the wrong way can jeopardize that.

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But it doesn’t have to be difficult or hard on your relationship. Here are the Top 10 tips for learning the Gentle Art of Saying No:

  1. Value your time. Know your commitments, and how valuable your precious time is. Then, when someone asks you to dedicate some of your time to a new commitment, you’ll know that you simply cannot do it. And tell them that: “I just can’t right now … my plate is overloaded as it is.”
  2. Know your priorities. Even if you do have some extra time (which for many of us is rare), is this new commitment really the way you want to spend that time? For myself, I know that more commitments means less time with my wife and kids, who are more important to me than anything.
  3. Practice saying no. Practice makes perfect. Saying “no” as often as you can is a great way to get better at it and more comfortable with saying the word. And sometimes, repeating the word is the only way to get a message through to extremely persistent people. When they keep insisting, just keep saying no. Eventually, they’ll get the message.
  4. Don’t apologize. A common way to start out is “I’m sorry but …” as people think that it sounds more polite. While politeness is important, apologizing just makes it sound weaker. You need to be firm, and unapologetic about guarding your time.
  5. Stop being nice. Again, it’s important to be polite, but being nice by saying yes all the time only hurts you. When you make it easy for people to grab your time (or money), they will continue to do it. But if you erect a wall, they will look for easier targets. Show them that your time is well guarded by being firm and turning down as many requests (that are not on your top priority list) as possible.
  6. Say no to your boss. Sometimes we feel that we have to say yes to our boss — they’re our boss, right? And if we say “no” then we look like we can’t handle the work — at least, that’s the common reasoning. But in fact, it’s the opposite — explain to your boss that by taking on too many commitments, you are weakening your productivity and jeopardizing your existing commitments. If your boss insists that you take on the project, go over your project or task list and ask him/her to re-prioritize, explaining that there’s only so much you can take on at one time.
  7. Pre-empting. It’s often much easier to pre-empt requests than to say “no” to them after the request has been made. If you know that requests are likely to be made, perhaps in a meeting, just say to everyone as soon as you come into the meeting, “Look guys, just to let you know, my week is booked full with some urgent projects and I won’t be able to take on any new requests.”
  8. Get back to you. Instead of providing an answer then and there, it’s often better to tell the person you’ll give their request some thought and get back to them. This will allow you to give it some consideration, and check your commitments and priorities. Then, if you can’t take on the request, simply tell them: “After giving this some thought, and checking my commitments, I won’t be able to accommodate the request at this time.” At least you gave it some consideration.
  9. Maybe later. If this is an option that you’d like to keep open, instead of just shutting the door on the person, it’s often better to just say, “This sounds like an interesting opportunity, but I just don’t have the time at the moment. Perhaps you could check back with me in [give a time frame].” Next time, when they check back with you, you might have some free time on your hands.
  10. It’s not you, it’s me. This classic dating rejection can work in other situations. Don’t be insincere about it, though. Often the person or project is a good one, but it’s just not right for you, at least not at this time. Simply say so — you can compliment the idea, the project, the person, the organization … but say that it’s not the right fit, or it’s not what you’re looking for at this time. Only say this if it’s true — people can sense insincerity.

Featured photo credit: Pexels via pexels.com

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