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9 Things You Should Know Before proposing

9 Things You Should Know Before proposing

Getting engaged is one of the most exciting experiences of your life. However, if everything goes according to plan, you will only get the opportunity to get engaged once. With this in mind, it is wise to take some time to access whether or not you are truly ready to take your relationship to the next level. Also, after you can answer that question with a yes, you will want to ensure that you propose in a way that will thrill your future spouse.

1. What Are Your Partner’s Life Goals?

If you haven’t talked about life goals, then it’s definitely time to slow down and learn more about your partner before you get down on bended knee. It’s easy to get pulled into the romance of everything, but the reality is that your spouse is someone you will live with through thick and thin.

Therefore, if your life goals don’t align in most areas, you could be setting yourself up for a very complicated marriage. For example, the number of women who remain childless by choice continues to grow. If you want kids but your wife-to-be doesn’t, you need to carefully consider if this is in area you can compromise in without becoming resentful or full of regret.

2. Does Your Significant Other Want to Get Married?

Only half of U.S. adults are currently married, and 30 percent of people aged 16 or older have never tied the knot. Although some of this is due to life circumstances and incompatibility, there are a lot of people who truly do not want to get married.

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Some of these individuals are happy to cohabitate with someone for the rest of their life as long as this doesn’t require them to go through the legal act of committing. Make sure your partner is open to marriage before you purchase an engagement ring.

3. Can You Fight Fairly?

Every couple argues. Some will claim they have never had a disagreement during their many years together, but this typically showcases either a misunderstanding of what constitutes an argument or an unwillingness to be completely open and be honest with their significant other. After all, complete honesty requires letting your partner know when something has upset you, and this can lead to a fight.

Counselors have indicated that fighting is not only normal but can be a very healthy way to deal with conflict. Of course, for this to work, you have to be committed to fighting fairly. This means that you should never keep score or use personal attacks while arguing.

It’s also important to steer clear of using absolutes such as “you always” or “you never.” The reality is that it’s extremely rare for someone to always or never do any specific thing, so making these claims while fighting can be quite harmful.

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4. Do You Know Anything About Rings?

If you’ve determined your life goals are aligned, your partner wants to get married and you’ve learned how to fight fairly, it’s time to start thinking about buying a ring. This might seem like a simple process that involves your budget and finding a ring that looks nice, but there are several diamond factors to consider to help ensure you get the most bang for your buck.

Be aware that diamond grading isn’t exact. It’s also common for diamond cutters to leave weight in undesirable places in order to achieve a higher carat weight. Research these topics before you commit to a purchase in order to avoid being overcharged.

5. What Type of Ring Does Your Significant Other Want?

Whether you are proposing to a woman or a man, it’s necessary to get a good feel for the type of ring they would actually want to wear before you buy one. After all, if your future fiancée dislikes diamonds and would prefer a ruby, you don’t want to end up getting a huge diamond ring to propose with.

There are many ways to subtly find out what they would prefer. You can also take the more direct route by speaking to their best friend. Or, if the two of you are openly discussing the possibility or getting engaged, ask them what ring styles they prefer.

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6. What Type of Proposal Would Your Partner Like?

Flash mob proposals may be popular, but this doesn’t mean that a flash mob is the right choice in your situation. Be sure to tailor the proposal to suit your partner’s needs. It’s also always a nice touch to incorporate at least one aspect of your relationship.

For instance, if you both love reading, you could put the engagement ring on his or her bookmark and invite them to read outside under a tree with you. This gives you a nice, romantic setting and also honors what both of you enjoy doing together.

7. Can You Afford to Get Married?

The average cost of a wedding in the U.S. is currently $26,645, and this number climbs every year. It is possible to have a wedding for much less, of course, but it’s also wise to consider whether or not you can put together a reasonable budget within a year or two.

Most couples get married within 18 months. If you won’t be able to afford that, you may wish to either delay getting engaged or make it clear from the beginning that it will be a long engagement.

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8. Is Your Future Spouse Traditional or Modern?

Something else you definitely need to know before asking your partner to marry you is whether or not they have a traditional way of thinking about proposals. If they do, you may need to ask their father for permission before you move forward.

It may also be necessary to allow them to be the one to do the proposing. By discovering these things about them now, you can avoid issues later on.

9. Are You Both Ready for an Engagement?

Your partner may want to get married in the future, but do you know for sure that they are ready to be engaged right now? Research indicates that close to 25 percent of women have turned down a marriage proposal, with a staggering 12 percent saying no at least three different times.

There are a diverse list of reasons that these women give for not saying yes, including being unhappy with the type of proposal they received. Be sure to take the time to figure out if they’re ready to get engaged. Also, as previously mentioned, don’t underestimate the importance of the proposal itself.

Proposing to someone is one of the biggest decisions you will ever make. Before you move forward with making plans, make sure your relationship has all of the telltale signs of being made to last. Once you do decide to propose, have fun with the process of picking out a ring and planning the proposal!

Featured photo credit: Wedding Photographer John Hope via flic.kr

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Holly Chavez

Writer, Entrepreneur, Small Business Owner

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Last Updated on May 17, 2019

This Is What Happens When You Move Out Of the Comfort Zone

This Is What Happens When You Move Out Of the Comfort Zone

The pursuit of worthwhile goals is a part of what makes life enjoyable. Being able to set a goal, then see yourself progress towards achieving that goal is an amazing feeling.

But do you know the biggest obstacle for most people trying to achieve their goals, the silent dream killer that stops people before they ever even get started? That obstacle is the comfort zone, and getting stuck there is bound to derail any efforts you make towards achieving the goals you’ve set for yourself.

If you want to achieve those goals, you’ll have to break free from your comfort zone. Let’s take a look at how your life will change once you build up the courage to leave your comfort zone.

What Is the Comfort Zone?

The comfort zone is defined as “a behavioural state within which a person operates in an anxiety-neutral condition, using a limited set of behaviours to deliver a steady level of performance.”

What stands out to me the most about that definition is the last part: “using a limited set of behaviours to deliver a steady level of performance.” How many successful people do you know who deliver a steady level of performance?

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The goal in life is to continually challenge yourself, and continually improve yourself. And in order to do that, you have move out of your comfort zone. But once you do, your life will start to change in ways you could never have imagined. I know because it’s happening right now in my own life.

Here’s what I’ve learned.

1. You will be scared

Leaving your comfort zone isn’t easy. In fact, in can be downright terrifying at times, and that’s okay. It’s perfectly normal to feel a little trepidation when you’re embarking on a journey that forces you to try new things.

So don’t freak out or get overwhelmed when you feel yourself getting a little scared. It’s perfectly normal and all part of the process. What’s important is that you don’t let that fear hold you back. You must continue to take action in the face of fear.

That’s what separates winners from losers.

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2. You will fail

Stepping out of your comfort zone means you’re moving into uncharted territory. You’re trying things that you’ve never tried before, and learning things you’ve never learned before.

That steep learning curve means you’re not going to get everything right the first time, and you will eventually fail when you move out of your comfort zone. But as long as the failures aren’t catastrophic, it can actually be a good thing to fail because …

3. You will learn

Failure is the best teacher. I’ve learned more from each one of my failures than I have from each one of my successes. When you fail small, and fail often, you rapidly increase the rate at which you learn new insights and skills. And that new knowledge, if applied correctly, will eventually lead to your success.

4. You will see yourself in a different way

Once you move out of your comfort zone, you immediately prove to yourself that you’re capable of achieving more than you thought was possible. And that will change the way you see yourself.

Moving forward, you’ll have more confidence in yourself whenever you step out of your comfort zone, and that increased confidence will make it more likely that you continue to step outside your comfort zone. And each time you do, you’ll prove to yourself again and again what you’re really capable of.

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5. Your peers will see you in a different way

Whether we want to admit or not, people judge other people. And right now, people view you in a certain way, and they have a certain idea of what you’re capable of. That’s because they’ve become accustomed to seeing you operate in your comfort zone.

But once you move out of your comfort zone, you’ll prove to other people, as well, that you’re capable of much more than you’ve shown in the past.

The increased confidence other people place in you will bring about more opportunities than ever before.

6. Your comfort zone will expand

The good thing about the comfort zone is that it’s flexible and malleable. With each action you take outside of your comfort zone, it expands. And once you master that new skill or action, it eventually becomes part of your comfort zone.

This is great news for you because it means that you can constantly increase and improve upon the behaviors that you’re comfortable with. And the more tools and skills you have at your disposal, the easier it will be to achieve your goals.

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7. You will increase your concentration and focus

When you’re living inside of your comfort zone, the bulk of your actions are habitual: automatic, subconscious, and requiring limited focus.

But once you move out of your comfort zone, you no longer rely on those habitual responses. You’re forced to concentrate and focus on the new action in a way you never do in your comfort zone.

8. You will develop new skills

Moving out of your comfort zone requires that you develop new skills. One of the many benefits you’ll experience is that you’ll be stepping away from the “limited set of behaviors” and start to develop your ability and expertise in new areas.

Living inside of your comfort zone only requires a limited skill set, and those skills won’t contribute much to your success. Once you can confidently step outside of your comfort zone and learn a new skill, there’s no limit to how much you can achieve.

9. You will achieve more than before

With everything that happens once you move out of your comfort zone, you’re naturally going to achieve more than ever before.

Your increased concentration and focus will help you develop new skills. Those new skills will change the way you see yourself, encouraging you to step even further out of your comfort zone.

Featured photo credit: Josef Grunig via farm3.staticflickr.com

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