Advertising
Advertising

5 Ways Decluttering Your Circle of Friends Can Save Your Energy and Peace of Mind

5 Ways Decluttering Your Circle of Friends Can Save Your Energy and Peace of Mind

Most people wrongly assume that we need more of some things in life in order to be happy, to find meaning and to get rid of stress and anxiety

It’s just the opposite. We need to choose less over more to save ourselves from unwanted worries, from living a complicated lifestyle and from having too many thoughts and too much tension in our mind.

When you’ve had enough of everything, and feel like you need more time for yourself, more freedom and peace of mind and more energy and focus to work on the things that matter to you, it’s time to start decluttering.

You’ll hear a lot of tips on how to get rid of unnecessary possessions at home, how to clear your mind and let go of regrets from the past, too many plans and random thoughts. There’s also a lot said about how to declutter your desk, computer and closet. You can also easily eliminate a lot from your calendar and daily to-do list to free some more time and stop doing unproductive activities.

But there’s one area of life that also needs decluttering, but which gets forgotten: your circle of friends.

Advertising

Let’s see why it’s smarter to have less friends in your surroundings and how this can significantly increase your level of happiness and make you more energetic and calmer:

1. You waste a lot of energy dealing with toxic people.

Toxic people are those individuals who are negative, around which you feel pressure and anxiety, who think only about themselves and require a lot of attention.

You can always argue with them but they’ll still want to be right every time. They don’t make compromises, may often upset you and make you feel inferior to them.

As a result, you feel miserable around them and it’s like they’re stealing your soul and draining your energy.

Life would be much easier if you simply stop communicating with them. If the connections were stronger you owe them a honest explanation. It’s normal that sometimes people grow apart. Even if it’s people you’ve been with your whole life, you don’t owe them your never ending connection. It’s your job to keep your happiness and peace of mind and live simply, so don’t feel bad about telling them all that to their face and removing them from your life once and for all.

Advertising

2. You’ll have more time for yourself.

In order to live a meaningful life, you should strengthen your relationship with yourself. One of the best solutions to filling the void you feel inside, to forgiving yourself, staying mindful, healing your inner self and embracing self-love, is to spend more time alone and reflect.

Having too many friends, some of which negative or playing the role of a victim, requires a lot of your time, attention and energy.

But without all that, you can have some me time daily. Imagine creating pleasant rituals to start and end the day with creative, positive and inspiring activities.

You can start meditating, working out, reading great books and getting motivated and learning new things, journaling your thoughts, visualizing yourself being more confident and successful, drinking tea and enjoying the silence, working on a creative project, or taking a walk and spending time in nature.

You’ll begin to feel more comfortable in your own skin, to get clear about your issues and about the things you truly desire in life. You’ll find out you’re worthy of love and won’t let others put you down anymore.

Advertising

You’ll be feeling fresh, energized and completely present.

Often, having many friends results in finding no time for yourself and being overwhelmed with other people’s problems. But once you declutter this area of your life, you’ll find balance and peace of mind.

3. Being constantly criticized is exhausting.

Others are judging you all the time, whether you like it or not.

And even if you’ve worked hard on trying to deal with this, it still affects your performance and way of thinking. At some point, you may end up living by someone else’s standards, seeking their approval, answering their expectations. But then you’ll be miserable because it won’t be what you want to do with your life.

Make sure you don’t end up like that, by eliminating all the people in your life who don’t support you, who don’t accept you for who you are, who aren’t there when you need them, and who even try to talk you out of your dreams.

Advertising

4. You’ll reach your goals sooner.

Some of the people in your surroundings are preventing you from moving forward. They are a distraction on your way to success.

You don’t need them in your life. Once you start avoiding them, you’ll begin feeling complete, you will find your way back to your own path, and will get closer to your goals by taking focused action every day.

5. You’ll dedicate more time to the people who matter.

Only a few of your friends are really worth it and deserve your precious time and energy. Chatting with doznes of newly met people may be exciting but long-term can drain your from energy.

Once you get rid of the connections which don’t nourish you, you’ll have the chance to be with them more often and deepen your relationship even more. But at the same time, you’ll still spend enough time on your own so that you aren’t stressed out or emotionally exhausted.

Now it’s your turn. Take a closer look at your circle of friends. Try to see people for who they really are, remember how they’ve treated you in difficult situations, analyze their reactions to different things from daily life.

If you’re honest with yourself, you’ll think of many who are actually toxic and aren’t a good fit for the lifestyle you want to create for yourself.

Don’t overthink it too much, be strong and direct and let them know you’re moving on.

More by this author

A Good Relationship Is About Give and Take. Never Let It Be One-Sided 12 Ways To Stop Your Addiction to ‘The Next Thing’ 12 Ways to Make Moving Cheaper and Easier 5 Important Life Lessons I’ve Learned After Using Dating Apps for a Year 6 Tips How To Stay Motivated When Training Alone

Trending in Brain

1 Overcoming The Pain Of A Breakup: 3 Suggestions Based On Science 2 10 Positive Affirmations for Success that will Change your Life 3 7 Natural (And Highly Effective) Ways to Improve Memory 4 15 Ways Meditation Benefits Your Brain Power and Your Mood 5 How to Build Good Habits

Read Next

Advertising
Advertising

Last Updated on September 10, 2018

Overcoming The Pain Of A Breakup: 3 Suggestions Based On Science

Overcoming The Pain Of A Breakup: 3 Suggestions Based On Science

We thought that the expression ‘broken heart’ was just a metaphor, but science is telling us that it is not: breakups and rejections do cause physical pain. When a group of psychologists asked research participants to look at images of their ex-partners who broke up with them, researchers found that the same brain areas that are activated by physical pain are also activated by looking at images of ex-partners. Looking at images of our ex is a painful experience, literally.[1].

Given that the effect of rejections and breakups is the same as the effect of physical pain, scientists have speculated on whether the practices that reduce physical pain could be used to reduce the emotional pain that follows from breakups and rejections. In a study on whether painkillers reduce the emotional pain caused by a breakup, researchers found that painkillers did help. Individuals who took painkillers were better able to deal with their breakup. Tamar Cohen wrote that “A simple dose of paracetamol could help ease the pain of a broken heart.”[2]

Advertising

Just like painkillers can be used to ease the pain of a broken heart, other practices that ease physical pain can also be used to ease the pain of rejections and breakups. Three of these scientifically validated practices are presented in this article.

Looking at images of loved ones

While images of ex-partners stimulate the pain neuro-circuitry in our brain, images of loved ones activate a different circuitry. Looking at images of people who care about us increases the release of oxytocin in our body. Oxytocin, or the “cuddle hormone,” is the hormone that our body relies on to induce in us a soothing feeling of tranquility, even when we are under high stress and pain.

Advertising

In fact, oxytocin was found to have a crucial role as a mother is giving birth to her baby. Despite the extreme pain that a mother has to endure during delivery, the high level of oxytocin secreted by her body transforms pain into pleasure. Mariem Melainine notes that, “Oxytocin levels are usually at their peak during delivery, which promotes a sense of euphoria in the mother and helps her develop a stronger bond with her baby.”[3]

Whenever you feel tempted to look at images of your ex-partner, log into your Facebook page and start browsing images of your loved ones. As Eva Ritvo, M.D. notes, “Facebook fools our brain into believing that loved ones surround us, which historically was essential to our survival. The human brain, because it evolved thousands of years before photography, fails on many levels to recognize the difference between pictures and people”[4]

Advertising

Exercise

Endorphins are neurotransmitters that reduce our perception of pain. When our body is high on endorphins, painful sensations are kept outside of conscious awareness. It was found that exercise causes endorphins to be secreted in the brain and as a result produce a feeling of power, as psychologist Alex Korb noted in his book: “Exercise causes your brain to release endorphins, neurotransmitters that act on your neurons like opiates (such as morphine or Vicodin) by sending a neural signal to reduce pain and provide anxiety relief.”[5] By inhibiting pain from being transmitted to our brain, exercise acts as a powerful antidote to the pain caused by rejections and breakups.

Meditation

Jon Kabat Zinn, a doctor who pioneered the use of mindfulness meditation therapy for patients with chronic pain, has argued that it is not pain itself that is harmful to our mental health, rather, it is the way we react to pain. When we react to pain with irritation, frustration, and self-pity, more pain is generated, and we enter a never ending spiral of painful thoughts and sensations.

Advertising

In order to disrupt the domino effect caused by reacting to pain with pain, Kabat Zinn and other proponents of mindfulness meditation therapy have suggested reacting to pain through nonjudgmental contemplation and acceptance. By practicing meditation on a daily basis and getting used to the habit of paying attention to the sensations generated by our body (including the painful ones and by observing these sensations nonjudgmentally and with compassion) our brain develops the habit of reacting to pain with grace and patience.

When you find yourself thinking about a recent breakup or a recent rejection, close your eyes and pay attention to the sensations produced by your body. Take deep breaths and as you are feeling the sensations produced by your body, distance yourself from them, and observe them without judgment and with compassion. If your brain starts wandering and gets distracted, gently bring back your compassionate nonjudgmental attention to your body. Try to do this exercise for one minute and gradually increase its duration.

With consistent practice, nonjudgmental acceptance will become our default reaction to breakups, rejections, and other disappointments that we experience in life. Every rejection and every breakup teaches us great lessons about relationships and about ourselves.

Featured photo credit: condesign via pixabay.com

Reference

Read Next