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12 Easy Actions You Can Take Today to Boost Your Confidence

12 Easy Actions You Can Take Today to Boost Your Confidence

Small actions built up over time become large results.

Every one of us want to boost our confidence, but few of us know where to start. The key is to start small. So here are 15 small actions you can take to boost your confidence today.

1. List 3 things you’re grateful for

Most of our unhappiness sprouts from anger, fear, and disappointment. If we can shift our focus for a moment to the things we’re grateful for in our lives, these feelings start to fade away.

How to get started: Think of 3 things you’re grateful for in your life today and if you want to continue this practice, purchase a gratitude journal like the Five-minute journal.

“The antidote to fear is gratitude. The antidote to anger is gratitude. You can’t feel fear or anger while feeling gratitude at the same time.” -Tony Robbins

2. Public speaking

When Warren Buffett was asked what skillset is the most important one to focus on for graduates, he confidently said public speaking.

How to get started: Check out your local Toastmasters, where you’ll find a supportive group of people offering constructive feedback to help you learn faster.

3. Speak a foreign language: Learning a new language has shown to enhance your mental focus, advance your career, and even improve your native language.

How to get started: The key to learning how to speak a new language is the way we learned our first language: speaking with native speakers. Check out websites like Rype, which connects you with handpicked professional language teachers for up to unlimited 1-on-1 lessons.

4. Build your network

Your network is your net worth. Not to say that your network is the end all for boosting your confidence, but having people around you that will be there to support your goals is reassuring.

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How to get started: Visit websites like Eventbrite and Meetup, and find local events in your industry.

5. Learn how to cook a new dish: Want to improve your friends or date this weekend? Try picking up your cooking skills.

How to get started: Go to Youtube or niche websites like Epicurious to get inspiration for new dishes you can cook.

6. Travel somewhere new

Discovering new cultures and visiting countries you’ve never been to may seem scary at first, but will do wonders for your confidence after traveling.

How to get started: Not everyone may have the freedom to travel when they want, due to time constraints, financial reasons, etc. But there are creative ways to travel cheaply by following travel hacks laid out by others.

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7. Meditation

Regular meditation has proven to increase your happiness, reduce your anxiety, and improve your relationships.

How to get started: Leverage free applications like Headspace or Calm, which provides guided meditation on-demand.

8. Speed reading

Knowledge is power. One of the best ways to improve your knowledge is by reading. Unfortunately, we all have 24 hours in a day. By learning how to speed read, we can go through more articles, books, and papers to enhance our knowledge.

How to get started: You can either learn the techniques of speed reading, or you can use technological tools like Spritz.

9. Volunteer

One of the best ways to boost your confidence is by doing good for others, specifically for those that truly need it. Whether it’s serving food for the homeless, or teaching children how to read, it’ll be one of the best times you’ve spent this week.

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How to get started: Wherever you live, you can find non-profit organizations that are constantly seeking volunteers to bring into staff. A simple google search can answer your question.

10. Say “No” more often

Saying “Yes” to external demands like coffee meetings or favors from friends can drain you after a certain limit. By saying “no” more often, you can carve more time out for yourself, and do more to improve yourself, like learning new things, etc.

How to get started: There’s really no easy way to do this or a tool that can help you. It just comes down to being bold, and saying “no” more often without trying to offend those that want your help or time.

11. Make your bed

 It sounds simple, but there’s studies that show that making your bed can boost your happiness. According to Psychology Today, 71 percent of bed makers consider themselves happy; while 62 percent of non-bed-makers admit to being unhappy.

12. Pick 1 small goal for today, and achieve it

The biggest mistake most of us make is to try to tackle a large goal without breaking it down into tiny steps. If your goal is to learn a new language, pick a small goal like deciding how you’re going to learn or even what language you should learn.

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Last Updated on May 21, 2019

How to Communicate Effectively in Any Relationship

How to Communicate Effectively in Any Relationship

For all our social media bravado, we live in a society where communication is seen less as an art, and more as a perfunctory exercise. We spend so much time with people, yet we struggle with how to meaningfully communicate.

If you believe you have mastered effective communication, scan the list below and see whether you can see yourself in any of the examples:

Example 1

You are uncomfortable with a person’s actions or comments, and rather than telling the individual immediately, you sidestep the issue and attempt to move on as though the offending behavior or comment never happened.

You move on with the relationship and develop a pattern of not addressing challenging situations. Before long, the person with whom you are in relationship will say or do something that pushes you over the top and predictably, you explode or withdraw completely from the relationship.

In this example, hard-to-speak truths become never- expressed truths that turn into resentment and anger.

Example 2

You communicate from the head and without emotion. While what you communicate makes perfect sense to you, it comes across as cold because it lacks emotion.

People do not understand what motivates you to say what you say, and without sharing your feelings and emotions, others experience you as rude, cold or aggressive.

You will know this is a problem if people shy away from you, ignore your contributions in meetings or tell you your words hurt. You can also know you struggle in this area if you find yourself constantly apologizing for things you have said.

Example 3

You have an issue with one person, but you communicate your problem to an entirely different person.

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The person in whom you confide lacks the authority to resolve the matter troubling you, and while you have vented and expressed frustration, the underlying challenge is unresolved.

Example 4

You grew up in a family with destructive communication habits and those habits play out in your current relationships.

Because you have never stopped to ask why you communicate the way you do and whether your communication style still works, you may lack understanding of how your words impact others and how to implement positive change.

If you find yourself in any of the situations described above, this article is for you.

Communication can build or decimate worlds and it is important we get it right. Regardless of your professional aspirations or personal goals, you can improve your communication skills if you:

  • Understand your own communication style
  • Tailor your style depending on the needs of the audience
  • Communicate with precision and care
  • Be mindful of your delivery, timing and messenger

1. Understand Your Communication Style

To communicate effectively, you must understand the communication legacy passed down from our parents, grandparents or caregivers. Each of us grew up with spoken and unspoken rules about communication.

In some families, direct communication is practiced and honored. In other families, family members are encouraged to shy away from difficult conversations. Some families appreciate open and frank dialogue and others do not. Other families practice silence about substantive matters, that is, they seldom or rarely broach difficult conversations at all.

Before you can appreciate the nuance required in communication, it helps to know the familial patterns you grew up with.

2. Learn Others Communication Styles

Communicating effectively requires you to take a step back, assess the intended recipient of your communication and think through how the individual prefers to be communicated with. Once you know this, you can tailor your message in a way that increases the likelihood of being heard. This also prevents you from assuming the way you communicate with one group is appropriate or right for all groups or people.

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If you are unsure how to determine the styles of the groups or persons with whom you are interacting, you can always ask them:

“How do you prefer to receive information?”

This approach requires listening, both to what the individuals say as well as what is unspoken. Virgin Group CEO Richard Branson noted that the best communicators are also great listeners.

To communicate effectively from relationship to relationship and situation to situation, you must understand the communication needs of others.

3. Exercise Precision and Care

A recent engagement underscored for me the importance of exercising care when communicating.

On a recent trip to Ohio, I decided to meet up with an old friend to go for a walk. As we strolled through the soccer park, my friend gently announced that he had something to talk about, he was upset with me. His introduction to the problem allowed me to mentally shift gears and prepare for the conversation.

Shortly after introducing the shift in conversation, my friend asked me why I didn’t invite him to the launch party for my business. He lives in Ohio and I live in the D.C. area.

I explained that the event snuck up on me, and I only started planning the invite list three weeks before the event. Due to the last-minute nature of the gathering, I opted to invite people in the DMV area versus my friends from outside the area – I didn’t want to be disrespectful by asking them to travel on such short notice.

I also noted that I didn’t want to be disappointed if he and others declined to come to the event. So I played it safe in terms of inviting people who were local.

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In the moment, I felt the conversation went very well. I also checked in with my friend a few days after our walk, affirmed my appreciation for his willingness to communicate his upset and our ability to work through it.

The way this conversation unfolded exemplified effective communication. My friend approached me with grace and vulnerability. He approached me with a level of curiosity that didn’t put me on my heels — I was able to really listen to what he was saying, apologize for how my decision impacted him and vow that going forward, I would always ask rather than making decisions for him and others.

Our relationship is intact, and I now have information that will help me become a better friend to him and others.

4. Be Mindful of Delivery, Timing and Messenger

Communicating effectively also requires thinking through the delivery of the message one intends to communicate as well as the appropriate time for the discussion.

In an Entrepreneur.com column, VIP Contributor Deep Patel, noted that persons interested in communicating well need to master the art of timing. Patel noted,[1]

“Great comedians, like all great communicators, are able to feel out their audience to determine when to move on to a new topic or when to reiterate an idea.”

Communicating effectively also requires thoughtfulness about the messenger. A person prone to dramatic, angry outbursts should never be called upon to deliver constructive feedback, especially to people whom they do not know. The immediate aftermath of a mass shooting is not the ideal time to talk about the importance of the Second Amendment rights.

Like everyone else, I must work to ensure my communication is layered with precision and care.

It requires precision because words must be carefully tailored to the person with whom you are speaking.

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It requires intentionality because before one communicates, one should think about the audience and what the audience needs in order to hear your message the way you intended it to be communicated.

It requires active listening which is about hearing verbal and nonverbal messages.

Even though we may be right in what we say, how we say it could derail the impact of the message and the other parties’ ability to hear the message.

Communicating with care is also about saying things that the people in our life need to hear and doing so with love.

The Bottom Line

When I left the meeting with my dear friend, I wondered if I was replicating or modeling this level of openness and transparency in the rest of my relationships.

I was intrigued and appreciative. He’d clearly thought about what he wanted to say to me, picked the appropriate time to share his feedback and then delivered it with care. He hit the ball out of the park and I’m hopeful we all do the same.

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Featured photo credit: Kenan Buhic via unsplash.com

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