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It’s Time to Stop Comparing Yourself to Others

It’s Time to Stop Comparing Yourself to Others

“Oh my goodness did you see the new Mercedes Kate just posted on Facebook? She is so lucky. My car is 6 years old and needs a new transmission.”

“No, but did you see the Instagram photos of Jessica’s family ski vacation in the Alps? It makes our weekend at Six Flags seem pitiful.”

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The current culture of prevalent social media has made it too easy for everyone to compare their lives to others, especially when it comes to material items and vacations. We can see the lives of friends, family, and others on social media and it becomes easy to want everything they have. We may even feel we deserve what they have. We can literally make ourselves miserable and unhappy by wanting what others have.

Materialism does not make us happy. Contentment comes from within. A mindset of gratitude for what you already have is more likely to make you happy than to endlessly pursue what everyone else may have in terms of possessions. There are ways to understand “The Joneses” that can help you stop wanting what others have and thus trying to keep up with them. Appearance can be deceptive. Just because someone appears to have lots of “stuff” doesn’t mean their life is better, or happier. In fact, trying to be a Jones can get you in lots of trouble and make your life quite miserable. Here are some thoughts to ponder about “The Joneses”.

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Debt so Deep They Actually Own Nothing

There are many families living in so much debt that they don’t actually own anything. They have debt on all of their vehicles with the bank owning more of their vehicles than they do. They have a mortgage on their home and put very little down when buying it. They buy their furniture on payment plans. Their credit cards are in full use and never paid off, as they are used to living beyond their means. Nothing they have is truly theirs. It is owned by the credit card company, the bank, and the furniture store. It is a life built like a house of cards that can come toppling down anytime with a major life catastrophe such as cancer, a debilitating car accident, or a home invasion that wasn’t covered by the home owner’s insurance. A life built on money borrowed is a scary way to live, because it can easily fall apart when tragedy strikes. And it will eventually strike, as no one is immune to accidents, health problems, or death. The question is only when it will strike. Too many “Joneses” aren’t prepared for tragedy, as they are living on borrowed money and esentially a borrowed lifestyle.

Buying a House at the Top of Their Budget

When shopping for a house it becomes easy to get lured into buying at the high end of your budget. It doesn’t matter your budget range, this is a human tendency; to want the maximum of whatever you are looking to buy. This is why many people become “house poor”. “House poor” means you have so much of your monthly income or budget going toward house payments that you have to sacrifice other things such as family vacations, parties, and other luxuries that you would otherwise be able to afford had you purchased a less expensive home. If they were to buy at the low end of their budget, think of the possibilities that could be done with that money each month that wouldn’t go towards an expensive home. Making memories are far more important than having the biggest, best house on the block. When you are on your death bed are you going to say “I am so glad I had the best house among my friends” or will it be something a long the lines of “I am so thankful for the time that I got to spend with friends and family in my lifetime, and all the wonderful memories we had together.”

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Fake, Faux, Replica

Whatever you want to call it, wearing or using something that is a knock-off of the original is… saving money? Being fake? Who cares. Not our business. Just know that not all of what you see others wearing or using in life is the authentic brand. Knock-offs are everywhere these days, so don’t compare your handbag to others because you may be thinking they paid $400 when in reality they spent $25. Buy what you like because it’s your style and what you want, not because of a brand or because others own it. Happiness comes from being yourself, not someone who you think others want you to be. Don’t be a fake and don’t buy a fake because you think you will be happier, neither will successfully make you happy in the long term.

Living Paycheck to Paycheck

There are many people in our country living paycheck to paycheck. They don’t have money in savings and they don’t have money squirreled away for emergencies. They may seem to have it all because of everything that they have and all that they do, but they are really on the brink of disaster. If tragedy strikes they will be in a world of hurt because of their overspending and lack of saving. Living paycheck to paycheck out of necessity is one thing. It is another story when living this way is purely done for the satisfaction of our desires. Living by the urge to buy, buy and buy will not bring happiness long term. It will set you up for disaster, lots of worry and anxiety when living paycheck to paycheck is done for the pursuit of happiness in materialism.

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Sometimes They Are Lucky

They may have a wealthy spouse or they have a family inheritance. They may have a fabulous job and have made wise saving choices to afford what they have. You don’t know. Frankly, it’s none of our business. All that matters is that we are responsible with the money that is provided in our own lives. Living within our means gives us peace of mind that is precious. Having anxiety about money destroys marriages. It can give people so much angst that they need to now spend money on counseling or even worse, a divorce.

Living within a budget and the means you have will provide you contentment, as long as you stop comparing yourself to others. Look in your own life and what you do have. Find gratitude daily in the things you may have, such as a vehicle that works, a roof over your head, and food on the table. There are many in the world without these basics needs for survival. Look to the less fortunate for your comparisons if you have a need to compare. Gratitude should be the response, which makes you more content with all that you have been blessed with in this life.

Featured photo credit: Cadillac via kaboompics.com

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Dr. Magdalena Battles

A Doctor of Psychology with specialties include children, family relationships, domestic violence, and sexual assault

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Last Updated on July 4, 2019

25 Killer Sites For Free Online Education

25 Killer Sites For Free Online Education

Whether you’re five or ninety five, the internet has a lot to offer. Particularly when the topic is education, the resources on the internet are endless.

Best of all, many high quality sites are completely free. From history to coding, excellent free online education awaits on the following 25 sites.

1. Coursera

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    Coursera is a website that partners with universities and organizations around the world. This brings a wide variety of topics and perspectives to one searchable database.

    Coursera is a powerful tool for free online education, and includes courses from many top universities, museums and trusts. This gives the site an extremely wide range of in-depth courses.

    Coursera is extremely useful if you’re looking to study many different topics, or want courses from different schools and groups.

    2. Khan Academy

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      Partnering with many post secondary schools, Khan Academy offers a useable, well organized interface. Also curating many courses from around the web, Khan Academy offers impressive depth on many different subjects.

      Among the more well known educational sites, Khan Academy is also incredibly useable, which may make it easier to keep learning goals.

      3. Open Culture Online Courses

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        If you are struggling to find exactly the material you are looking for, try Open Culture’s listing of free online education courses. The page highlights 1000 lectures, videos and podcasts from universities around the world. The site features a lot of material found only on universities private sites, all in easy to browse categories. This means you can find hundreds of university courses, without having to visit and search each university’s own site.

        Open Culture’s list features courses from England, Australia, Wales and many state universities around the United States. A very helpful resource for finding many courses in one area of study.

        4. Udemy 

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          Udemy’s free courses are similar in concept to Coursera’s but additionally allows users to build custom courses from lessons.

          Working with many top professors and schools, the site mixes the customizable platform of other sites with a heavy emphasis on top quality content. This is another site however, that mixes free and paid content.

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          5. Academic Earth

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            Another site with courses from many different schools is Academic Earth. Much like the three sites above, Academic Earth brings together top notch courses from many different sources, and focuses on offering a wide variety of subjects.

            Academic Earth lists courses by subject and school, so it might be easier to find what you’re looking for.

            6. edX

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              Another great option for free online education is edX. Also bringing together courses from many different schools, the site has impressive, quality information for everyone. edX covers a great range of topics.

              7. Alison

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                Unlike the previous sites on this lists, Alison is a free education site offering certification in some areas. Alison offers courses mainly in business, technology, and health, but also includes language learning courses.

                It’s a great option if users need certification for their learning as Alison also offers school curriculum courses.

                8. iTunesU Free Courses

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                  A very convenient place for free online education is iTunesU, because it integrates seamlessly with your iPod, or any app-ready Apple mobile device. On iPad, iPhone, or iPod touch, users download the iTunesU app.

                  Desktop users can access  iTunesU on the upper right hand corner of the iTunes Store. iTunesU is also convenient because the store is categorized much like iTunes.

                  Users can search learning materials in many different ways, including genre and topic. However, courses are often a mix of free podcasts or videos, and paid content.

                  ITunesU does include courses on a pretty wide scope of topics, but does not integrate with Android, Google or Windows mobile devices.

                  9. Stanford Online

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                    Your hub for all the online offerings from Stanford University, Stanford Online offers self-paced and session based courses. While Coursera features some courses from Stanford, many classes are only available via other hosts. Some courses require iTunes, but most are completed in your web browser.

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                    Stanford Online is a great site for high quality courses, though the topics are somewhat limited compared to sites partnered with more than one school.

                    10. Harvard Extension

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                      Like Stanford Online, Harvard Extension features free online education courses from Harvard only. This is another excellent source for top notch course material, though the course variety is less rich than multi-school sites.

                      Additionally, Harvard Extension allows you to search for courses by professional certificate. This makes it much easier if your online education goal includes certification.

                      11. Open Yale Courses

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                        Open Yale Courses echoes Harvard Extension and Stanford Online, in that it offers only courses from Yale. While the site is similarly limited to topics taught at the school, Open Yale Courses offers a lot of videos of actual campus lectures. The availability of videos makes the site a great option if you’re looking for quality courses, but learn better by watching than by reading.

                        12. UC Berkeley Class Central

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                          Much like the other schools on this list, UC Berkeley has a variety of free online education options. The school has slightly fewer courses than the schools above, but includes some supplementary lectures, webcasts and RSS Feeds, making it easy to keep up with the topics you choose.

                          13. MIT OpenCourseWare

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                            Similarly, MIT offers a variety of free courses. The school has a comparable number of courses to the schools above, plus includes very in-depth course materials on the subjects available. MIT also offers free RSS feeds, a convenient way to continue learning.

                            14. Carnegie Mellon Open Learning Initiative

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                              Carnegie Mellon’s free online education site is comparable with the other school’s on this list, however, Open Learning Initiative also covers a smaller range of topics. But for the topics that are covered impressive, in-depth material is available.

                              15. Codecademy

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                                Codecademy is a website dedicated specifically to teaching coding. Where other coding sites follow an example/practice session workflow, Codecademy includes a live practice window. This means you can practice coding while still viewing the lesson material.

                                The courses at Codecademy are well written and easy to follow and the website is organized very nicely. Codecademy features a centralized dashboard where you can monitor your progress, plus organizes lessons into complete modules. This lets you learn an entire language without needing to pick the next course manually.

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                                16. Code

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                                  Code is another website focused on coding and app writing. A site with high quality courses, Code also features learning options for kids.

                                  In addition to kid friendly courses, Code offers free online education classes on a wide variety of technology topics. These classes include app writing, robotics and Javascript.

                                  Most of the courses are also geared in a such a way that they can be useful in a classroom setting. This makes Code a great resource for harder to find coding topics, as well as various learning settings.

                                  17. University of London Podcasts

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                                    The podcast page on the University of London website is another great source for free education. While the courses are limited to podcasts, the site features podcasts from it’s own campus, as well as eleven universities in and around London. This gives learners a wide base of topics and lectures, but still ensures in-depth material.

                                    18. University of Oxford Podcasts

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                                      Similar to the University of London, the University of Oxford features many different podcasts. Most are public lecture series or lectures from visiting professors, with several different recordings available.

                                      The advantage to this particular site is that podcasts are organized into series, making it easy to subscribe to multiple lectures on one topic. Another good site for thoroughly in-depth lectures.

                                      19. BBC Podcasts

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                                        For the more casual learner, the BBC offers a wide variety of podcasts on many different topics. Most podcasts are updated weekly, and focus on everything from finance, to sports, to current events.

                                        Through the World Service line of podcasts, there are also many in different languages. The focus of these podcasts are less in-depth and theory based, which may be more accessible to the average person.

                                        20. TED-Ed

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                                          Another great destination for more general learning is TED-Ed. From the same people that brought you the all encompassing, motivational web series, comes a site chocked full of educational videos. Most include impressive animation, and all are ten minutes long or less.

                                          Not only is TED-Ed an excellent site for the curious, it also includes supplemental materials and quizzes on the videos. This makes the site extremely useful in formal education settings, as well as in entertaining ways to brush up on new discoveries and topics.

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                                          21. LessonPaths

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                                            LessonPaths is another great tool for those looking for a more usable and convenient way to access learning material. On this site, users create link playlists of their favorite learning materials from other sites. Users then rank these collections, making it easy to find many different high quality, accessible sources on a given topic.

                                            22. Memrise

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                                              Another impressive free online education site offering ease of use and convenience is Memrise. Available both on desktop and as an app, Memrise is a particularly powerful tool if you are studying a language. The site encompasses many other topics as well, though some of the course material is user generated content.

                                              Part of what makes Memrise special is their integration of games into the learning materials, mixing learning with entertainment.

                                              23. National Geographic Kids

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                                                The kids site for National Geographic is another site that makes free online education applicable for younger users. For those looking for kid friendly education, a large variety of games, puzzles, videos and photos keeps kids interested on this site.

                                                National Geographic Kids doesn’t organize learning into courses, making materials available by topic and medium instead. This makes National Geographic Kids a good option for those looking for a more casual learning environment.

                                                24. Fun Brain

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                                                  Fun Brain is another good option for kids who want to learn online, but focuses on games and fun puzzles. Particularly focused on math and reading, Fun Brain’s game based approach can be valuable if the child in question struggles to pay attention.

                                                  Fun Brain offers rewards and challenges as well, and is another site aimed at a casual learning experience for kids K-8.

                                                  25. Whyville

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                                                    Similar to the sites for kids free online education is Whyville a destination for preteen online learning. The site includes a variety of social features, with a focus on learning materials geared for young teens.

                                                    Whyville also mixes in educational games, to make the site a well rounded option for kids too old for simple games, but too young for heavy reading based material.

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                                                    Featured photo credit: Dai KE via unsplash.com

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