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7 Stress Busting Tips To Move Home Painlessly

7 Stress Busting Tips To Move Home Painlessly

No one likes dealing with the hassles of moving, and as someone who has had to move twice within the past year, I can definitely understand what a pain it is.

But just like everything else, moving can become much easier (and cheaper) if you prepare properly and do not just wait until the last minute to cram everything into some boxes. Here are some tips which you should use to make moving relatively stress-free.

Know how you’re going to move

Will you be moving your stuff out yourself or will you hire a moving company? Will you be able to count on your friends to help you out? If you are making the move yourself, will you rent a truck?

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Asking questions like these is critical before you actually start moving, and you should know the answers to them weeks if not months in advance. Make reservations for your moving day with a company or friends. This is especially so if you intend to move during the summer, which is peak moving season.

De-clutter

Moving is a fantastic opportunity to go through your stuff, figure out what you really need, and get rid of the rest. Getting rid of clutter will result in a better, freer living space as you have less room occupied by stuff you may need “someday.”

Becoming Minimalist has an excellent guide on things you can do to get rid of clutter, but the simplest step is to look at clothes or stuff you have not worn or used within the past year. Ask yourself if you really need those things. If the answer is no, host a yard sale or donate it to a charity.

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Ask for free cardboard boxes

Good corrugated cardboard boxes are essential for a successful move, and you can get good boxes from places such as the Home Depot for little more than a dollar. But while that may seem cheap, the fact that you will need so many boxes can add up.

Retailers can be a good place to get cardboard boxes for free, particularly big-box stores like WalMart. Ask the store manager or the employees if there are any boxes which you can take off their hands, and they should be happy to give them to you. Just make sure that the boxes are of good enough quality.

Use clothing as stuffing

Popping bubble wrap may relieve your stress, but buying it will not. Instead, your clothes can serve as a good stuffing or packing for your more delicate objects. As a child, I remember watching my mother take our good mugs and glasses, wrap a shirt or sock around them, and then layer each glass into a box or suitcase. None of them ever broke even when we moved across the country.

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Pack a survival kit in advance

When you get to your new home, it will take some time for you to get everything out and accentuated to your new home. And while you deal with the stress of unpacking, you should have a survival kit which will let you easily access items that will help you live better over those tough days of unpacking.

Some recommended items for a survival kit include medication, toiletries, and a blanket. I would also note that important documents such as your Social Security card should go in the survival kit as well so that you know where they are at all times. Don’t make the kit too large – it should be the size of a small, carry-on suitcase.

Label everything

So you finally reach your new home, get the boxes out of your U-Haul or moving truck, and then get confused because you don’t remember what is in which box. This makes moving far more stressful, as you go through an entire box looking for that one object only to find it in another box.

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Instead, label everything in advance so that you know what is in which box. While you could use a Sharpie, I think stickers are a better, more visible choice. Some guides recommend that in addition to writing down what the object is, you should write down how heavy it is and where it should be placed. This will make it easier for the movers.

Take a photograph of your new place

This is particularly important if you are renting a place. When you move into a new home or apartment, make sure to take photographs of the place as soon as you can. Pay particular importance to cracks, holes, or general signs of damage.

The photographs will prove that you did not cause the damage, which thus means that you are not liable for them. If you do not, then your landlord could claim that you caused the damage and thus use it as an excuse not to give you back your deposit when you move out.

Featured photo credit: Karl Baron via flickr.com

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Last Updated on July 10, 2020

How to Take Control of Your Life with Better Boundaries

How to Take Control of Your Life with Better Boundaries

We all have them—those hurtful, frustrating, offensive, manipulative people in our lives. No matter how hard we try to surround ourselves with positive and kind people, there will always be those who will disrespect, insult, berate, and misuse you if we allow them to.

We may, for a variety of reasons, not be able to avoid them, but we can determine how we interact with them and how we allow them to interact with us.

So, how to take control of your life and stop being pushed around?

Learning to set clear firm boundaries with the people in our lives at work and in our personal lives is the best way to protect ourselves from the negative effects of this kind of behavior.

What Boundaries Are (And What They’re Not)

Boundaries are limits

—they are not threats or ultimatums. Boundaries inform or teach. They are not a form of punishment.

Boundaries are firm lines—determined by you—which cannot be crossed by those around you. They are guidelines for how you will allow others to treat you and what kind of behaviors you will expect.

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Healthy personal boundaries help protect you from physical or emotional pain. You may also need to set firm boundaries at work to ensure you and your time are not disrespected. Don’t allow others to take advantage of your kindness and generosity.

Clear boundaries communicate to others that you demand respect and consideration—that you are willing to stand up for yourself and that you will not be a doormat for anyone. They are a “no trespassing” sign that makes it very clear when a line has been crossed and that there will be consequences for doing so.

Boundaries are not set with the intention of changing other people. They may change how people interact with you, but they are more about enforcing your needs than attempting to change the general behavior and attitude of others.

How to Establish Boundaries and Take Control of Your Life

Here are some ways that you can establish boundaries and take control of your life.

1. Self-Awareness Comes First

Before you can establish boundaries with others, you first need to understand what your needs are.

You are entitled to respect. You have the right to protect yourself from inappropriate or offensive behavior. Setting boundaries is a way of honoring your needs.

To set appropriate boundaries, you need to be clear about what healthy behaviors look like—what healthy relationships look like.

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You first have to become more aware of your feelings and honest with yourself about your expectations and what you feel is appropriate behavior:

  • Where do you need to establish better boundaries?
  • When do you feel disrespected?
  • When do you feel violated, frustrated, or angered by the behavior of others?
  • In what situations do you feel you are being mistreated or taken advantage of?
  • When do you want to be alone?
  • How much space do you need?

You need to honor your own needs and boundaries before you can expect others to honor them. This allows you to take control of your life.

2. Clear Communication Is Essential

Inform others clearly and directly what your expectations are. It is essential to have clear communication if you want others to respect your boundaries. Explain in an honest and respectful tone what you find offensive or unacceptable.

Many people simply aren’t aware that they are behaving inappropriately. They may never have been taught proper manners or consideration for others.

3. Be Specific but Don’t Blame

Taking a blaming or punishing attitude automatically puts people on the defensive. People will not listen when they feel attacked. It’s part of human nature.

That said, you do not need to overexplain or defend yourself. Boundaries are not open to compromise.

Sample language:

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  • “You may not…yell or raise your voice to me…”
  • “I need…to be treated with respect…”
  • “It’s not okay when…you take things from my desk without asking…”
  • “I won’t…do your work…cover for you anymore…”
  • “It’s not acceptable when…you ridicule or insult me…”
  • “I am uncomfortable when…you use offensive language”
  • “I will no longer be able to…lend you money…”

Being able to communicate these without sounding accusatory is essential if you want others to respect your boundaries so you can take control of your life.

4. Consequences Are Often Necessary

Determine what the appropriate consequences will be when boundaries are crossed. If it’s appropriate, be clear about those consequences upfront when communicating those boundaries to others.

Follow through. People won’t respect your boundaries if you don’t enforce them.

Standing our ground and forcing consequences doesn’t come easily to us. We want to be nice. We want people to like us, but we shouldn’t have to trade our self-respect to gain friends or to achieve success.

We may be tempted to let minor disrespect slide to avoid conflict, but as the familiar saying goes, “if you give people an inch, they’ll take a mile.”

It’s much easier to address offensive or inappropriate behavior now than to wait until that behavior has gotten completely out of hand.

It’s also important to remember that positive reinforcement is even more powerful than negative consequences. When people do alter the way they treat you, acknowledge it. Let people know that you notice and appreciate their efforts.

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Final Thoughts

Respect is always a valid reason for setting a boundary. Don’t defend yourself or your needs. Boundaries are often necessary to protect your time, your space, and your feelings. And these are essential if you want to take control of your life.

Start with the easiest boundaries first. Setting boundaries is a skill that needs to be practiced. Enlist support from others if necessary. Inform people immediately when they have crossed the line.

Don’t wait. Communicate politely and directly. Be clear about the consequences and follow them through.

The better you become at setting your own boundaries, the better you become at recognizing and respecting the boundaries of others.

Remember that establishing boundaries is your right. You are entitled to respect. You can’t control how other people behave, but you do have control over the way you allow people to treat you.

Learning to set boundaries is not always easy, but with time, it will become more comfortable. You may eventually find that boundaries become automatic and you no longer need to consciously set them.

They will simply become a natural extension of your self-respect.

Featured photo credit: Thomas Kelley via unsplash.com

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