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5 things I wish someone told me in high school

5 things I wish someone told me in high school

I’ve had the awesome privilege to give talks at The School for Student Leadership in Victoria, Australia – the same program I was a part of 5 years ago. My best mate and I get to spend a day hanging out with the leaders of tomorrow. Although there are far too many to get to know in such a short amount of time (45 in fact) we do get to hear most of their stories.

Where are they from? What do they want to do? What do they want to learn? What do they want to be?

Through spending time with and giving talks to some of the most awesome and capable young people, I’ve had a solid chance to reflect on myself when I was their age. I’ve gotten to combine my own knowledge with the wealth of information that these students share with me to come up with 5 things I wish someone told me in high school.

1. It’s okay not to be okay.

This is something I really wish someone would have told me. It’s something I genuinely believe more young people need to hear.

The mental health of young people is something that could be addressed a lot better. It’s often overlooked, but the rise of the internet and awesome resources like Headspace really give young people an opportunity to discuss their mental health anonymously.

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There seems to be a stigma among young people (young men especially, trust me, I fit that demographic) that struggling with and then talking about your mental health isn’t okay. That it’s uncool, or that people will judge you or even worse that you shouldn’t feel the way you feel and this couldn’t be further from the truth.

Let’s look at it this way: Imagine you’re moving to a new house, and the last thing to go on the loading truck is your couch. You try lifting it yourself but it is way too heavy. What do you do?

You ask your mate for help.

I ask you, why is mental health any different? If you’re not ashamed to ask your mate to help you lift a couch that’s too heavy, there’s no reason to be ashamed of asking them to help you with talking about your mental health.

I wish someone told me that it’s okay not to be okay.

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2. It’s cool to be uncool

Remembering my high school days often makes me cringe. The sheer extent I went to, and others too, just to fit in. Just to be part of the ‘in-crowd’.

Let me tell you right now, in a few years’ time, no one will care if your hair was cut a certain way, or if you owned a certain pair of sneakers. In years to come, you will really value the fact that you were true to yourself. Don’t go out of your way to impress others, just be you.

Be weird, be quirky, be different! But most of all, be yourself. I promise you won’t regret it.

3. The grass is greener where you water it

This is the main message I gave throughout my speech at the School for Student Leadership. I’m pretty sure it’s a quote by Neil Barringham, but I first remember seeing it on a friend’s Facebook wall. It has stuck with me ever since.

If you have a goal, or something you want to achieve no matter how improbable or even impossible it seems, you can do it. If you take your time to practice, nurture and care for your goals, there is no reason why you can’t achieve them. Put in the hard yards, push harder than everyone around you. If you fall down, get back up and keep working at your goals.

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There’s nothing better than accomplishing your goals and having something you can look at and say “I did that.”

4. It’s okay to not know what you want to do

All the way through Year 12 I was being pressured and pushed to decide if I was going to go to university or not. Which university I was going to go to, in which city, and what I was going to study.

As it turns out, I got to university and then changed my mind completely after I got there!

You don’t have to know what you want to do yet – I know adults that still don’t know what they want to do with their lives and that is awesome. 

If you already know what you want to do in high school, that’s equally as awesome, and refer to point number 3 on this list if that’s the case. It is alright to take your time. It’s alright to figure out what you want to do, and it’s alright to change your mind. It’s also okay if you have no idea what you want to do, and it’s okay if you don’t even know where to start.

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If that’s you, my advice is just start doing things. Try new things and go new places.  Follow what makes you happy, and do things that you love to do. You’ll figure it out, I promise.

 5. It’s okay to make mistakes

You are going make your fair share of mistakes throughout life. Some will be small, and others won’t be. It’s okay to make mistakes if you learn from them.

Something the School for Student Leadership taught me, and was reinforced over years of analysing my performance in sport, is reflection. What did I do well? What didn’t I do well? What can I improve on? What would I do next time this situation arises?

Reflection is one of the best things you can do to help yourself learn from experiences. Whether it’s through keeping a diary and writing stuff down, or whether you simply ask yourself these questions mentally. Maybe you find it best to talk things through with another person? I personally find talking to someone helps me clarify and understand my own thoughts, but you should try your best to find what works for you and use it to reflect upon your mistakes.

If and when you make a mistake, acknowledge it, reflect on it, learn from it and move on. Nothing will ever be accomplished from dwelling on things.

Life is really long, and you’re going to do some really awesome things, but from time to time just ask yourself: What would you tell your 15 year old self?

Featured photo credit: Anna Tesar via flickr.com

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Last Updated on January 21, 2020

The Best Way to Create a Vision for the Life You Want

The Best Way to Create a Vision for the Life You Want

Creating a vision for your life might seem like a frivolous, fantastical waste of time, but it’s not: creating a compelling vision of the life you want is actually one of the most effective strategies for achieving the life of your dreams. Perhaps the best way to look at the concept of a life vision is as a compass to help guide you to take the best actions and make the right choices that help propel you toward your best life.

your vision of where or who you want to be is the greatest asset you have

    Why You Need a Vision

    Experts and life success stories support the idea that with a vision in mind, you are more likely to succeed far beyond what you could otherwise achieve without a clear vision. Think of crafting your life vision as mapping a path to your personal and professional dreams. Life satisfaction and personal happiness are within reach. The harsh reality is that if you don’t develop your own vision, you’ll allow other people and circumstances to direct the course of your life.

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    How to Create Your Life Vision

    Don’t expect a clear and well-defined vision overnight—envisioning your life and determining the course you will follow requires time, and reflection. You need to cultivate vision and perspective, and you also need to apply logic and planning for the practical application of your vision. Your best vision blossoms from your dreams, hopes, and aspirations. It will resonate with your values and ideals, and will generate energy and enthusiasm to help strengthen your commitment to explore the possibilities of your life.

    What Do You Want?

    The question sounds deceptively simple, but it’s often the most difficult to answer. Allowing yourself to explore your deepest desires can be very frightening. You may also not think you have the time to consider something as fanciful as what you want out of life, but it’s important to remind yourself that a life of fulfillment does not usually happen by chance, but by design.

    It’s helpful to ask some thought-provoking questions to help you discover the possibilities of what you want out of life. Consider every aspect of your life, personal and professional, tangible and intangible. Contemplate all the important areas, family and friends, career and success, health and quality of life, spiritual connection and personal growth, and don’t forget about fun and enjoyment.

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    Some tips to guide you:

    • Remember to ask why you want certain things
    • Think about what you want, not on what you don’t want.
    • Give yourself permission to dream.
    • Be creative. Consider ideas that you never thought possible.
    • Focus on your wishes, not what others expect of you.

    Some questions to start your exploration:

    • What really matters to you in life? Not what should matter, what does matter.
    • What would you like to have more of in your life?
    • Set aside money for a moment; what do you want in your career?
    • What are your secret passions and dreams?
    • What would bring more joy and happiness into your life?
    • What do you want your relationships to be like?
    • What qualities would you like to develop?
    • What are your values? What issues do you care about?
    • What are your talents? What’s special about you?
    • What would you most like to accomplish?
    • What would legacy would you like to leave behind?

    It may be helpful to write your thoughts down in a journal or creative vision board if you’re the creative type. Add your own questions, and ask others what they want out of life. Relax and make this exercise fun. You may want to set your answers aside for a while and come back to them later to see if any have changed or if you have anything to add.

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    What Would Your Best Life Look Like?

    Describe your ideal life in detail. Allow yourself to dream and imagine, and create a vivid picture. If you can’t visualize a picture, focus on how your best life would feel. If you find it difficult to envision your life 20 or 30 years from now, start with five years—even a few years into the future will give you a place to start. What you see may surprise you. Set aside preconceived notions. This is your chance to dream and fantasize.

    A few prompts to get you started:

    • What will you have accomplished already?
    • How will you feel about yourself?
    • What kind of people are in your life? How do you feel about them?
    • What does your ideal day look like?
    • Where are you? Where do you live? Think specifics, what city, state, or country, type of community, house or an apartment, style and atmosphere.
    • What would you be doing?
    • Are you with another person, a group of people, or are you by yourself?
    • How are you dressed?
    • What’s your state of mind? Happy or sad? Contented or frustrated?
    • What does your physical body look like? How do you feel about that?
    • Does your best life make you smile and make your heart sing? If it doesn’t, dig deeper, dream bigger.

    It’s important to focus on the result, or at least a way-point in your life. Don’t think about the process for getting there yet—that’s the next stepGive yourself permission to revisit this vision every day, even if only for a few minutes. Keep your vision alive and in the front of your mind.

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    Plan Backwards

    It may sound counter-intuitive to plan backwards rather than forwards, but when you’re planning your life from the end result, it’s often more useful to consider the last step and work your way back to the first. This is actually a valuable and practical strategy for making your vision a reality.

    • What’s the last thing that would’ve had to happen to achieve your best life?
    • What’s the most important choice you would’ve had to make?
    • What would you have needed to learn along the way?
    • What important actions would you have had to take?
    • What beliefs would you have needed to change?
    • What habits or behaviors would you have had to cultivate?
    • What type of support would you have had to enlist?
    • How long will it have taken you to realize your best life?
    • What steps or milestones would you have needed to reach along the way?

    Now it’s time to think about your first step, and the next step after that. Ponder the gap between where you are now and where you want to be in the future. It may seem impossible, but it’s quite achievable if you take it step-by-step.

    It’s important to revisit this vision from time to time. Don’t be surprised if your answers to the questions, your technicolor vision, and the resulting plans change. That can actually be a very good thing; as you change in unforeseeable ways, the best life you envision will change as well. For now, it’s important to use the process, create your vision, and take the first step towards making that vision a reality.

    Featured photo credit: Matt Noble via unsplash.com

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