About 4 years ago, I used to occasionally have a cigarette after lunch or dinner. When I used to visit my brother, I would make sure that my niece doesn’t see me because I know she loves me so much and I didn’t want her to think smoking is okay.
So apparently, while I would sneak to the balcony to enjoy my cigarette, she would follow me and watch me smoke from behind the balcony door.
Most of my family didn’t know I was a occasional smoker and it is really a stigma in my family to smoke cigarettes, etc.Advertising
So fast forward few months, we are at a big family wedding everyone is sitting together having a great time and she looks at me and says :
“I love you auntie. I just want you to know that you shouldn’t smoke because it will make you age and die quickly. Plus you keep hiding in the balcony thinking I wouldn’t see you. So obviously you know it is wrong since you are hiding it !”Advertising
I didn’t say a word. My face turned red and I felt everyone looking at me in shock !
Her mother looks at her and says, no your auntie doesn’t smoke, you must be mistaken.
To that she answered : “why are you trying to make me lie, that’s worse than smoking”Advertising
Everyone laughed. And I changed the subject immediately!
I no longer smoke and I hope she doesn’t remember.Advertising
One of the most precious gifts relatives can give one another is a dose of harsh realism mixed in with love. Hearing that a family member wants only the best for us can provide us with the encouragement we need to make changes that are long overdue. It can be difficult to hear the full implications of our actions spelled out to us, but when someone gives us constructive criticism or makes a suggestion from a place of love and support, it’s usually a good idea to pay attention.
Featured photo credit: Rafika Sarraf/Quora via quora.com
Last Updated on January 21, 2020
How to Motivate People Around You and Inspire Them
If I was a super hero I’d want my super power to be the ability to motivate everyone around me. Think of how many problems you could solve just by being able to motivate people towards their goals. You wouldn’t be frustrated by lazy co-workers. You wouldn’t be mad at your partner for wasting the weekend in front of the TV. Also, the more people around you are motivated toward their dreams, the more you can capitalize off their successes.
Being able to motivate people is key to your success at work, at home, and in the future because no one can achieve anything alone. We all need the help of others.
So, how to motivate people? Here are 7 ways to motivate others even you can do.
Most people start out trying to motivate someone by giving them a lengthy speech, but this rarely works because motivation has to start inside others. The best way to motivate others is to start by listening to what they want to do. Find out what the person’s goals and dreams are. If it’s something you want to encourage, then continue through these steps.
2. Ask Open-Ended Questions
Open-ended questions are the best way to figure out what someone’s dreams are. If you can’t think of anything to ask, start with, “What have you always wanted to do?”
“Why do you want to do that?”
“What makes you so excited about it?”
“How long has that been your dream?”
You need this information the help you with the following steps.
This is the most important step, because starting a dream is scary. People are so scared they will fail or look stupid, many never try to reach their goals, so this is where you come in. You must encourage them. Say things like, “I think you will be great at that.” Better yet, say, “I think your skills in X will help you succeed.” For example if you have a friend who wants to own a pet store, say, “You are so great with animals, I think you will be excellent at running a pet store.”
4. Ask About What the First Step Will Be
After you’ve encouraged them, find how they will start. If they don’t know, you can make suggestions, but it’s better to let the person figure out the first step themselves so they can be committed to the process.
This is the most fun step, because you can dream about success. Say things like, “Wouldn’t it be cool if your business took off, and you didn’t have to work at that job you hate?” By allowing others to dream, you solidify the motivation in place and connect their dreams to a future reality.
6. Ask How You Can Help
Most of the time, others won’t need anything from you, but it’s always good to offer. Just letting the person know you’re there will help motivate them to start. And, who knows, maybe your skills can help.
7. Follow Up
Periodically, over the course of the next year, ask them how their goal is going. This way you can find out what progress has been made. You may need to do the seven steps again, or they may need motivation in another area of their life.
By following these seven steps, you’ll be able to encourage the people around you to achieve their dreams and goals. In return, you’ll be more passionate about getting to your goals, you’ll be surrounded by successful people, and others will want to help you reach your dreams …
Oh, and you’ll become a motivational super hero. Time to get a cape!
More on Motivation
- Why Is Internal Motivation So Powerful (And How to Find It)
- 9 Types of Motivation That Make It Possible to Reach Your Dreams
- No Motivation? 7 Great Ways To Overcome Loss Of Motivation
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