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5 Ways to Bring Attraction to an Intimate Relationship

5 Ways to Bring Attraction to an Intimate Relationship

If you and someone you love are in an intimate relationship, by way of marriage or other long-term commitment to one another, it takes a certain amount of energy and dedication on each person’s part to keep the love alive and flourishing. Many of us wish it really weren’t that way; however, with all of life’s stressors and obstacles, the fact is that it does take a fair amount of work to make a close relationship work.

Keeping the feelings of butterflies and the love alive can be done with a little creativity and selflessness for your partner. Here are five ways to bring attraction to an intimate relationship.

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Be Nice

Yes, it’s that simple. Well, not really! Although it can be difficult to always remain respectful to your partner’s needs by being nice, it is undeniably necessary to make any relationship work. Even if your loved one has rubbed you the wrong way, spoke to you in a tone that is not as pleasant as you would like, or has done something that wasn’t “right” in your eyes, try to be nice and respectful. Of course, this is a two-way street, and if you are not receiving niceness in return, then both of you need to have a heart-to-heart discussion. There is nothing more attractive in a relationship then two committed people treating each other kindly as much as possible.

Have Confidence

Attraction comes with confidence. Being confident in your mindset and about your body, will always go a long way with your companion. Being confident is not about being centered upon yourself, but about exhibiting an inner beauty and positivity that will make your loved one’s heart beat a little faster. Self-confidence draws people closer, and will act as a magnet with your companion!

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Be Healthy

A healthy lifestyle has a plethora of rewards. Not only does it have a myriad of benefits for your physical and emotional well-being, as it garners attractiveness both inside and out, it can bring you and your partner closer. Working out along with cooking healthy meals together will give you both the quality time that every relationship needs in this hectic world.

Get Creative

In the bedroom, that is! Find ways to spice up your love life and find what works for you both. Intimacy will keep you both connected in a powerful way, and doing so with various creative twists in the bedroom will keep that attraction intense and thrilling. What’s more, it isn’t just for the bedroom, either! Keeping attractiveness at peak levels can be accomplished by “surprising” one another, whenever and wherever works for the both of you.

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Do Right

Doesn’t it make you feel even more attracted to your companion when he does something for you that is totally unforeseen? Something as little as making that pot of coffee in the morning, purchasing his favorite item at the grocery store, and filling up the gas tank unexpectedly will take attractiveness to a whole new level. Many people truly believe that actions speak louder than words, and guess what? They are spot on. Doing certain things, or actions, for one another shows that you really do love each other, and that, itself, is overwhelmingly striking.

As Tony Robbins says, “the quality of your life is the quality of your relationships“. To achieve maximum happiness and fulfillment in your life, you need to start with your relationship. Attractiveness certainly doesn’t mean physical attractiveness and always being “easy on the eyes”. Attractiveness in a relationship is being the total package, and loving each other for who you both are, inside and out. Love for one another comes from an innate desirability within the soul and, with a little work, can last a lifetime.

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Featured photo credit: Couple-love-romance via pixabay.com

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Beth Hedrick

Freelance Writer

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Last Updated on September 16, 2019

How to Stop Procrastinating: 11 Practical Ways for Procrastinators

How to Stop Procrastinating: 11 Practical Ways for Procrastinators

You have a deadline looming. However, instead of doing your work, you are fiddling with miscellaneous things like checking email, social media, watching videos, surfing blogs and forums. You know you should be working, but you just don’t feel like doing anything.

We are all familiar with the procrastination phenomenon. When we procrastinate, we squander away our free time and put off important tasks we should be doing them till it’s too late. And when it is indeed too late, we panic and wish we got started earlier.

The chronic procrastinators I know have spent years of their life looped in this cycle. Delaying, putting off things, slacking, hiding from work, facing work only when it’s unavoidable, then repeating this loop all over again. It’s a bad habit that eats us away and prevents us from achieving greater results in life.

Don’t let procrastination take over your life. Here, I will share my personal steps on how to stop procrastinating. These 11 steps will definitely apply to you too:

1. Break Your Work into Little Steps

Part of the reason why we procrastinate is because subconsciously, we find the work too overwhelming for us. Break it down into little parts, then focus on one part at the time. If you still procrastinate on the task after breaking it down, then break it down even further. Soon, your task will be so simple that you will be thinking “gee, this is so simple that I might as well just do it now!”.

For example, I’m currently writing a new book (on How to achieve anything in life). Book writing at its full scale is an enormous project and can be overwhelming. However, when I break it down into phases such as –

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  • (1) Research
  • (2) Deciding the topic
  • (3) Creating the outline
  • (4) Drafting the content
  • (5) Writing Chapters #1 to #10,
  • (6) Revision
  • (7) etc.

Suddenly it seems very manageable. What I do then is to focus on the immediate phase and get it done to my best ability, without thinking about the other phases. When it’s done, I move on to the next.

2. Change Your Environment

Different environments have different impact on our productivity. Look at your work desk and your room. Do they make you want to work or do they make you want to snuggle and sleep? If it’s the latter, you should look into changing your workspace.

One thing to note is that an environment that makes us feel inspired before may lose its effect after a period of time. If that’s the case, then it’s time to change things around. Refer to Steps #2 and #3 of 13 Strategies To Jumpstart Your Productivity, which talks about revamping your environment and workspace.

3. Create a Detailed Timeline with Specific Deadlines

Having just 1 deadline for your work is like an invitation to procrastinate. That’s because we get the impression that we have time and keep pushing everything back, until it’s too late.

Break down your project (see tip #1), then create an overall timeline with specific deadlines for each small task. This way, you know you have to finish each task by a certain date. Your timelines must be robust, too – i.e. if you don’t finish this by today, it’s going to jeopardize everything else you have planned after that. This way it creates the urgency to act.

My goals are broken down into monthly, weekly, right down to the daily task lists, and the list is a call to action that I must accomplish this by the specified date, else my goals will be put off.

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Here’re more tips on setting deadlines: 22 Tips for Effective Deadlines

4. Eliminate Your Procrastination Pit-Stops

If you are procrastinating a little too much, maybe that’s because you make it easy to procrastinate.

Identify your browser bookmarks that take up a lot of your time and shift them into a separate folder that is less accessible. Disable the automatic notification option in your email client. Get rid of the distractions around you.

I know some people will out of the way and delete or deactivate their facebook accounts. I think it’s a little drastic and extreme as addressing procrastination is more about being conscious of our actions than counteracting via self-binding methods, but if you feel that’s what’s needed, go for it.

5. Hang out with People Who Inspire You to Take Action

I’m pretty sure if you spend just 10 minutes talking to Steve Jobs or Bill Gates, you’ll be more inspired to act than if you spent the 10 minutes doing nothing. The people we are with influence our behaviors. Of course spending time with Steve Jobs or Bill Gates every day is probably not a feasible method, but the principle applies — The Hidden Power of Every Single Person Around You

Identify the people, friends or colleagues who trigger you – most likely the go-getters and hard workers – and hang out with them more often. Soon you will inculcate their drive and spirit too.

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As a personal development blogger, I “hang out” with inspiring personal development experts by reading their blogs and corresponding with them regularly via email and social media. It’s communication via new media and it works all the same.

6. Get a Buddy

Having a companion makes the whole process much more fun. Ideally, your buddy should be someone who has his/her own set of goals. Both of you will hold each other accountable to your goals and plans. While it’s not necessary for both of you to have the same goals, it’ll be even better if that’s the case, so you can learn from each other.

I have a good friend whom I talk to regularly, and we always ask each other about our goals and progress in achieving those goals. Needless to say, it spurs us to keep taking action.

7. Tell Others About Your Goals

This serves the same function as #6, on a larger scale. Tell all your friends, colleagues, acquaintances and family about your projects. Now whenever you see them, they are bound to ask you about your status on those projects.

For example, sometimes I announce my projects on The Personal Excellence Blog, Twitter and Facebook, and my readers will ask me about them on an ongoing basis. It’s a great way to keep myself accountable to my plans.

8. Seek out Someone Who Has Already Achieved the Outcome

What is it you want to accomplish here, and who are the people who have accomplished this already? Go seek them out and connect with them. Seeing living proof that your goals are very well achievable if you take action is one of the best triggers for action.

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9. Re-Clarify Your Goals

If you have been procrastinating for an extended period of time, it might reflect a misalignment between what you want and what you are currently doing. Often times, we outgrow our goals as we discover more about ourselves, but we don’t change our goals to reflect that.

Get away from your work (a short vacation will be good, else just a weekend break or staycation will do too) and take some time to regroup yourself. What exactly do you want to achieve? What should you do to get there? What are the steps to take? Does your current work align with that? If not, what can you do about it?

10. Stop Over-Complicating Things

Are you waiting for a perfect time to do this? That maybe now is not the best time because of X, Y, Z reasons? Ditch that thought because there’s never a perfect time. If you keep waiting for one, you are never going to accomplish anything.

Perfectionism is one of the biggest reasons for procrastination. Read more about why perfectionist tendencies can be a bane than a boon: Why Being A Perfectionist May Not Be So Perfect.

11. Get a Grip and Just Do It

At the end, it boils down to taking action. You can do all the strategizing, planning and hypothesizing, but if you don’t take action, nothing’s going to happen. Occasionally, I get readers and clients who keep complaining about their situations but they still refuse to take action at the end of the day.

Reality check:

I have never heard anyone procrastinate their way to success before and I doubt it’s going to change in the near future.  Whatever it is you are procrastinating on, if you want to get it done, you need to get a grip on yourself and do it.

More About Procrastination

Featured photo credit: Malvestida Magazine via unsplash.com

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