Advertising
Advertising

Putting Yourself First During Pregnancy

Putting Yourself First During Pregnancy

For a lot of us, working while pregnant can be a struggle. The nausea during the first trimester, the shortness of breath in the second, and the weight of your growing child in the third can be exhausting. Everyone’s experience seems to be a bit different.

Some women do just fine; others do their best to keep on pushing through. Add going back to college to this equation, like myself, and we have a recipe for stress and fatigue.

There are so many of us superwomen out there, though, and reminding ourselves that sometimes we are only human and that this time in our lives is not only beautiful, but it is about us, is important. It is okay to ask for help, to need an extra hand and not feel as though we are being a burden to anyone.

Advertising

Those who love you want only to help. Sometimes they just don’t know where to start, especially the loving but floundering man in your life. These tips will help you successfully achieve all that you need to while pregnant and to allow those who want to lend you and your growing infant a hand, the opportunity to do so.

Here are the top five things that I did for myself during one of the most exciting and exhausting times of my life.

Know Your Rights

This is huge. The most frequent thing I hear, and that I too was worried about (because of my high-risk pregnancy, which meant missing work more frequently for doctors appointments), was losing my job. In many workplaces there is a sort of stigma around pregnant woman and instead of being understanding of the condition that woman are in, many businesses become dismissive, resulting in being let go. This is not only not right — it is not legal.

Advertising

According to the U.S. Equal Opportunity Commision, if you are unable to perform your job duties to the degree that the company sees fit, you are to be treated as any other temporarily disabled employee. This means that whatever law applies in your state for the disabled and discrimination due to a disability now applies to you. Make sure you look up the laws in your state and that you are treated with the respect you deserve. You have the right to work. Don’t let anyone take that away from you.

Make a Wish List

This might seem silly to you but it was extremely helpful to my family and friends who saw the workload that I had taken on and wanted to help, but didn’t know where to start or what they could do. This list could very seriously have things on them like, “Make me snack bags for work,” or even during your third trimester: “Help me get my shoes on.”

Not being able to see your feet is funny until you can’t bend over far enough to get your shoes on. List little things (or big things) that make life easier and will put a smile on your face.

Advertising

Fatigue

Fatigue is probably the biggest and longest lasting hurdle during pregnancy. The most important thing to remember is that it is okay to be tired. Your body is exerting so much more energy than it usually would, and you are a busy woman. Sleeping early and taking naps are healthy for both you and baby. Don’t feel bad for missing dinner plans with friends or family; they will understand.

It’s Not an Excuse

I remember when I was pregnant and in college, I was so worried about people judging me and thinking I was “using being pregnant as an excuse” — an excuse to get out of class, assignments, or for anything really.

In reality I worked harder than ever to beat that stereotype, even when I had to run to the bathroom because “morning” sickness had gotten the best of me that day. The truth of it is that the same laws that apply in the workplace apply at school, so again, know your rights, and speak to your dean if you feel as though you are being mistreated due to your pregnancy.

Advertising

Another route that was my saving grace was online classes. This route made being able to stay home when I wasn’t feeling well an option and much more bearable. Don’t count online school or classes out; they are generally cheaper (here are 25 of the most affordable) and were a great option for my pregnancy.

Stop Worrying

There seems to be this focus on how the “condition” or pregnancy has an effect on those around us. Yes, that should be taken into consideration, but your health and well-being are what is most important right now. What I am saying is stop worrying so much about how your pregnancy is affecting your coworkers or anyone else who does not understand the depth of the fact that your body is creating a living, breathing, human being. That is going to take an incredible amount of energy and time. You are important, and a smart woman, and should be treated as such. Let go of worry and take care of what matters most: you and yours.

Featured photo credit: freestocks.org via flickr.com

More by this author

Common Sense Ways to Beat Cold & Flu Season 6 Tips For Creating Your Dream Job 5 Truly Haunted Places Worth Visiting This Halloween The Thrifty Bride’s Guide to Wedding Planning 5 Reasons Why Internships Are as Important as Your Degree

Trending in 20-Something

1 One Solid Practice for Tackling Low Self-Esteem 2 7 Tools to Optimize Your Next Long-Term Traveling Experience 3 How To Go Through College And Stay Sane 4 The Battle Of The Voices In My Head 5 How to Have the Best Spring With Your Pets

Read Next

Advertising
Advertising
Advertising

Last Updated on April 6, 2020

10 Powerful Ways to Influence People Positively

10 Powerful Ways to Influence People Positively

Most discussions on positively influencing others eventually touch on Dale Carnegie’s seminal work, How to Win Friends and Influence People. Written more than 83 years ago, the book touches on a core component of human interaction, building strong relationships. It is no wonder why.

Everything that we do hinges on our ability to connect with others and formulate deep relationships. You cannot sell a house, buy a house, advance in most careers, sell a product, pitch a story, teach a course, etc. without building healthy relationships. Managers get the best results from their teams, not through brute force, but to careful appeals to their sensibilities, occasional withdrawals from the reservoir of respect they’ve built. Using these tactics, they can influence others to excellence, to productivity, and to success.

Carnegie’s book is great. Of course, there are other resources too. Most of us have someone in our lives who positively influences us. The truth is positively influencing people is about centering the humanity of others. Chances are, you know someone who is really good at making others feel like stars. They can get you to do things that the average person cannot. Where the requests of others sound like fingernails on a chalkboard, the request from this special person sounds like music to your ears. You’re delighted to not only listen but also to oblige.

So how to influence people in a positive way? Read on for tips.

1. Be Authentic

To influence people in a positive way, be authentic. Rather than being a carbon copy of someone else’s version of authenticity, uncover what it is that makes you unique.

Discover your unique take on an issue and then live up to and honor that. Once of the reasons social media influencers are so powerful is that they have carved out a niche for themselves or taken a common issue and approached it from a novel or uncommon way. People instinctually appreciate people whose public persona matches their private values.

Contradictions bother us because we crave stability. When someone professes to be one way, but lives contrary to that profession, it signals that they are confused or untrustworthy and thereby, inauthentic. Neither of these combinations bode well for positively influencing others.

Advertising

2. Listen

Growing up, my father would tell me to listen to what others said. He told me if I listened carefully, I would know all I needed to know about a person’s character, desires and needs.

To positively influence others, you must listen to what is spoken and what is left unsaid. Therein lies the explanation for what people need in order to feel validated, supported and seen. If a person feels they are invisible, and unseen by their superiors, they are less likely to be positively influenced by that person.

Listening meets a person’s primary need of validation and acceptance.

Take a look at this guide on how to be a better listener: How to Practice Active Listening (A Step-By-Step Guide)

3. Become an Expert

Most people are predisposed to listen to, if not respect, authority. If you want to positively influence others, become an authority in the area in which you seek to lead others. Research and read everything you can about the given topic, and then look for opportunities to put your education into practice.

You can argue over opinions. You cannot argue, or it is unwise to argue, over facts and experts come with facts.

4. Lead with Story

From years of working in the public relations space, I know that personal narratives, testimonials and impact stories are incredibly powerful. But I never cease to be amazed with how effective a well-timed and told story can be.

Advertising

If you want to influence people, learn to tell stories. Your stories should be related to the issue or concept you are discussing. They should be an analogy or metaphor that explains your topic in ordinary terms and in vivid detail. To learn more about how to tell powerful stories, and the ethics of storytelling, take a look at this article: How To Tell An Interesting Story In 4 Simple Steps

5. Lead by Example

It is incredibly inspiring to watch passionate, talented people at work or play. One of the reasons a person who is not an athlete can be in awe of athletic prowess is because human nature appreciates the extraordinary. When we watch the Olympics, Olympic trials, gymnastic competitions, ice skating, and other competitive sports, we can recognize the effort of people who day in and day out give their all. C

ase in point: Simone Biles. The gymnast extraordinaire won her 6TH all-around title at the U.S. Gymnastics Championships after doing a triple double. She was the first woman to do so. Watching her gave me chills. Even non-gymnasts and non-competitive athletes can appreciate the talent required to pull off such a remarkable feat.

We celebrate remarkable accomplishments and believe that their example is proof that we too can accomplish something great, even if it isn’t qualifying for the Olympics. To influence people in a positive way, we must lead by example, lead with intention and execute with excellence.

6. Catch People Doing Good

A powerful way to influence people in a positive way is to catch people doing good. Instead of looking for problems, look for successes. Look for often overlooked, but critically important things that your peers, subordinates and managers do that make the work more effective and more enjoyable.

Once you catch people doing good, name and notice their contributions.

7. Be Effusive with Praise

It did not take me long to notice a remarkable trait of a former boss. He not only began and ended meetings with praise, but he peppered praise throughout the entire meeting. He found a way to celebrate the unique attributes and skills of his team members. He was able to quickly and accurately assess what people were doing well and then let them and their colleagues know.

Advertising

Meetings were not just an occasion to go through a “To Do” list, they were opportunities to celebrate accomplishments, no matter how small they are.

8. Be Kind Rather Than Right

I am going to level with you; this one is tough. It is easy to get caught up in a cycle of proving oneself. For people who lack confidence, or people who prioritize the opinions of others, being right is important. The validation that comes with being perceived as “right” feeds one’s ego. But in the quest to be “right,” we can hurt other people. Once we’ve hurt someone by being unkind, it is much harder to get them to listen to what we’re trying to influence them to do.

The antidote to influencing others via bullying is to prioritize kindness above rightness. You can be kind and still stand firm in your position. For instance, many people think that they need others to validate their experience. If a person does not see the situation you experienced in the way you see it, you get upset. But your experience is your experience.

If you and your friends go out to eat and you get food poisoning, you do not need your friends to agree that the food served at the restaurant was problematic for you. Your own experience of getting food poisoning is all the validation you need. Therefore, taking time to be right is essentially wasted and, if you were unkind in seeking validation for your food-poison experience, now you’ve really lost points.

9. Understand a Person’s Logical, Emotional and Cooperative Needs

The Center for Creative Leadership has argued that the best way to influence others is to appeal to their logical, emotional and cooperative needs. Their logical need is their rational and educational need. Their emotional need is the information that touches them in a deeply personal manner. The cooperative need is understanding the level of cooperation various individuals need and then appropriately offering it.

The trick with this system is to understand that different people need different things. For some people, a strong emotional appeal will outweigh logical explanations. For others, having an opportunity to collaborate will override emotional connection.

If you know your audience, you will know what they need in order to be positively influenced. If you have limited information about the people whom you are attempting to influence, you will be ineffective.

Advertising

10. Understand Your Lane

If you want to positively influence others, operate from your sphere of influence. Operate from your place of expertise. Leave everything else to others. Gone are the days when being a jack of all trades is celebrated.

Most people appreciate brands that understand their target audience and then deliver on what that audience wants. When you focus on what you are uniquely gifted and qualified to do, and then offer that gift to the people who need it, you are likely more effective. This effectiveness is attractive.

You cannot positively influence others if you are more preoccupied by what others do well versus what you do well.

Final Thoughts

Influencing people is about centering your humanity. If you want to influence others positively, focus on the way you communicate and improve the relationship with yourself first.

It’s hard to influence others if you’re still trying to figure out how to communicate with yourself.

More Tips About Making Influence

Featured photo credit: Wonderlane via unsplash.com

Read Next