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Putting Yourself First During Pregnancy

Putting Yourself First During Pregnancy

For a lot of us, working while pregnant can be a struggle. The nausea during the first trimester, the shortness of breath in the second, and the weight of your growing child in the third can be exhausting. Everyone’s experience seems to be a bit different.

Some women do just fine; others do their best to keep on pushing through. Add going back to college to this equation, like myself, and we have a recipe for stress and fatigue.

There are so many of us superwomen out there, though, and reminding ourselves that sometimes we are only human and that this time in our lives is not only beautiful, but it is about us, is important. It is okay to ask for help, to need an extra hand and not feel as though we are being a burden to anyone.

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Those who love you want only to help. Sometimes they just don’t know where to start, especially the loving but floundering man in your life. These tips will help you successfully achieve all that you need to while pregnant and to allow those who want to lend you and your growing infant a hand, the opportunity to do so.

Here are the top five things that I did for myself during one of the most exciting and exhausting times of my life.

Know Your Rights

This is huge. The most frequent thing I hear, and that I too was worried about (because of my high-risk pregnancy, which meant missing work more frequently for doctors appointments), was losing my job. In many workplaces there is a sort of stigma around pregnant woman and instead of being understanding of the condition that woman are in, many businesses become dismissive, resulting in being let go. This is not only not right — it is not legal.

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According to the U.S. Equal Opportunity Commision, if you are unable to perform your job duties to the degree that the company sees fit, you are to be treated as any other temporarily disabled employee. This means that whatever law applies in your state for the disabled and discrimination due to a disability now applies to you. Make sure you look up the laws in your state and that you are treated with the respect you deserve. You have the right to work. Don’t let anyone take that away from you.

Make a Wish List

This might seem silly to you but it was extremely helpful to my family and friends who saw the workload that I had taken on and wanted to help, but didn’t know where to start or what they could do. This list could very seriously have things on them like, “Make me snack bags for work,” or even during your third trimester: “Help me get my shoes on.”

Not being able to see your feet is funny until you can’t bend over far enough to get your shoes on. List little things (or big things) that make life easier and will put a smile on your face.

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Fatigue

Fatigue is probably the biggest and longest lasting hurdle during pregnancy. The most important thing to remember is that it is okay to be tired. Your body is exerting so much more energy than it usually would, and you are a busy woman. Sleeping early and taking naps are healthy for both you and baby. Don’t feel bad for missing dinner plans with friends or family; they will understand.

It’s Not an Excuse

I remember when I was pregnant and in college, I was so worried about people judging me and thinking I was “using being pregnant as an excuse” — an excuse to get out of class, assignments, or for anything really.

In reality I worked harder than ever to beat that stereotype, even when I had to run to the bathroom because “morning” sickness had gotten the best of me that day. The truth of it is that the same laws that apply in the workplace apply at school, so again, know your rights, and speak to your dean if you feel as though you are being mistreated due to your pregnancy.

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Another route that was my saving grace was online classes. This route made being able to stay home when I wasn’t feeling well an option and much more bearable. Don’t count online school or classes out; they are generally cheaper (here are 25 of the most affordable) and were a great option for my pregnancy.

Stop Worrying

There seems to be this focus on how the “condition” or pregnancy has an effect on those around us. Yes, that should be taken into consideration, but your health and well-being are what is most important right now. What I am saying is stop worrying so much about how your pregnancy is affecting your coworkers or anyone else who does not understand the depth of the fact that your body is creating a living, breathing, human being. That is going to take an incredible amount of energy and time. You are important, and a smart woman, and should be treated as such. Let go of worry and take care of what matters most: you and yours.

Featured photo credit: freestocks.org via flickr.com

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Last Updated on October 17, 2019

How to Spend More Quality Time with Your Partner

How to Spend More Quality Time with Your Partner

You see your partner every single day. They are the first person you talk to in the morning and the last person you kiss goodnight.

But does seeing each other day in and day out equal a healthy relationship? Not necessarily.

Spending quality time with your partner is the best way to ensure your relationship stays healthy and strong. This means going above and beyond sitting together while you watch Netflix or going out for the occasional dinner. You deserve more from your relationship – and so does your spouse!

What does quality time mean? It means spending time with your spouse without interruption. It’s a chance for you to come together and talk. Communication will build emotional intimacy and trust.

Quality time is also about expressing love in a physical way. Not sex, necessarily (but that’s great, too!) but through hand-holding, cuddling, caressing, and tickling. Studies show that these displays of affection will boost partner satisfaction.[1]

So how do you spend quality time with your partner? Here are 13 relationship tips on making the most out of your time with your partner.

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1. Recognize the Signs

If you want a healthy relationship, you have to learn how to recognize the signs that you need to spend more quality time together.

Some telltale signs include:

  • You’re always on your phones.
  • You value friendships or hobbies over quality time with your spouse.
  • You aren’t together during important events.
  • You are arguing more often or lack connection.
  • You don’t make plans or date nights.
  • You’re not happy.

If you are experiencing any of these relationship symptoms, know that quality time together can reverse the negative effects of the signs above.

2. Try New Things Together

Have you ever wanted to learn how to play an instrument or speak another language? How about skydive or ballroom dance?

Instead of viewing these as solo hobbies and interests, why not involve your partner?

Trying new activities together builds healthy relationships because it encourages spouses to rely on one another for emotional and physical support.

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Shared hobbies also promote marital friendship, and the Journal of Happiness Studies found that marital satisfaction was twice as high for couples who viewed each other as best friends.[2]

3. Schedule in Tech-Free Time

Your phone is a great way to listen to music, watch videos, and keep up-to-date with friends and family. But is your phone good for your relationship?

Many couples phone snub, or ‘phub’, one another. Studies show that phubbing can lower relationship satisfaction and increase one’s chances of depression.[3]

Reduce those chances by removing distractions when spending quality time together and showing your partner they have your full attention.

4. Hit the Gym as a Couple

One way you can spend more time together as a couple is by becoming workout partners. Studies show that couples are more likely to stay with their exercise routine if they work out together.[4] Couples also work out harder than they would solo. One study found that 95 percent of couples who work out together maintained weight loss compares to the 66 percent of singles who did.[5]

Join a gym, do at-home couples’ workouts, try couples yoga, hit the hiking trails, or get your bikes out. No matter which way you choose to exercise, these healthy activities can promote a healthy relationship.

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5. Cook Meals Together

Pop open a bottle of wine or put some romantic music on while you get busy – in the kitchen, of course!

One of the best relationship tips for spending quality time together when you both have busy schedules is to cook meals together.[6]

Spice things up and try and prepare a four-course meal or a fancy French dish together. Not only is this a fun way to spend your time together, but it also promotes teamwork.

If all goes well, you’ll have a romantic date night meal at home that you prepared with your four hands. And if the food didn’t turn out the way you’d hoped, you are guaranteed to have a laugh and create new memories together.

6. Have a Regular Date Night

Couples experience a greater sense of happiness and less stress when they are spending quality time together.[7] One of the biggest relationship tips for a healthy partnership is to include a date night in your weekly routine.

The National Marriage Project found that having a weekly date night can make your relationship seem more exciting and helps prevent relationship boredom.[8] It also lowers the probability of divorce, improves your sex life, and increases healthy communication.

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Some great ideas for what to do on your date night include:

  • Have a movie marathon – Gather up your favorite flicks and cuddle up on the couch.
  • Play games together – Cards, board games, video games, and other creative outlets are a fun way to spend quality time together.
  • Recreate your first date – Go back to that restaurant and order the same meal you did when you first got together. You can spice up your evening by pretending you’re strangers meeting for the first time and see how sexy the night gets.
  • Plan a weekend getaway – There’s nothing better than traveling with the one you love.
  • Dinner and a movie – A classic!
  • Try a new restaurant – Make it your mission to rate and try all of the Mexican restaurants/Irish pubs/Italian trattorias in your area.
  • Have a long sex session – Intimacy promotes the release of the oxytocin hormone which is responsible for a myriad of great feelings.[9]

Here’re even more date night ideas for your reference: 50 Unique and Really Fun Date Ideas for Couples

Final Thoughts

The benefits of spending quality time together are endless. Here are just some of the ways it can contribute to a healthy relationship:

  • Improves emotional and physical intimacy
  • Lowers divorce rates
  • Improves communication
  • Reduces marital boredom
  • Bonds couples closer
  • Improves friendship
  • Boosts health
  • Reduces stress

These are all excellent reasons to start making date night a regular part of your week.

It’s easy to have a healthy relationship when you set aside dedicated time to share with your spouse. Try new things together, make your spouse your workout buddy, and look for innovative ways to be close and connected.

These relationship tips will bring great benefits to your marriage.

Featured photo credit: Allen Taylor via unsplash.com

Reference

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