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Silence the Drama Queen to Improve your Karma

Silence the Drama Queen to Improve your Karma

The problem with our generation is that we all just want to be onions, nobody wants to be a potato. No, I have not lost my mind (any more than the usual that is), let me explain.

We all just want to be full of complicated layers that take great effort to unpeel and make others overwhelmed and teary eyed as each layer unfolds. There is no charm left in the childlike simplicity of a potato that just innocently sits there with a look that says ‘I’m the most predictable, harmless thing in the world, I have nothing up my sleeve, you can just eat me’. That’s it, no drama, no complications.

Our older generations had quite a few proud potatoes. Life went on at its regular pace without any dramatic twists and turns. Not so much anymore, we new age onions thrive on drama.

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We are not content with being single or committed, we want to be ‘Its complicated’. We may live comfortable cheery lives but we want to say ‘my life is messed up’. The only thought in our heads may be the toppings we want on our pizza tonight, but we want people to believe that we are soulful brooding creatures, who silently battle a hundred storms a day.

We say we don’t, but secretly, we love Drama

Don’t lie, my friend, you know we do! We like to create our own tragedy, drown in self-pity over that tragedy, be the hero who ‘survives’ the tragedy and finally get a standing ovation from the audience for our great achievement (in most cases it’s just a sitting sigh from our friends who know us too well).

A boss’s reprimand for not meeting a deadline turns us into a Facebook life coach with a post that reads “I have already been through hell, so give it your best shot, I will still win, I will survive”. One could have won already had one finished that report. One could get a hundred likes for this post, but one still has to finish that report.

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Break ups transform us into the great Antony mourning his eternal lost love for Cleopatra. It lasted six months, you fought six hundred times. There was no war that stopped your everlasting union, it was the natural thing to happen between two ill-suited adults. No layers to unpeel, it’s a potato scenario.

I know it sounds harsh, I know sometimes our problems overwhelm us. I’m not trying to trivialize life and its issues. Of course, sometimes life does hand us battles, but, most of the time its just little hitches and hiccups. In our heads, we turn these into big wars that need to be fought, big obstacles that need to be overcome. What if, for once, we quit magnifying our problems and let the smaller issues remain small?

What if we kill the drama and just get on with ‘regular usual life’?

It’s probably a bit boring, isn’t it? If we don’t have the heart-wrenching tragedies and overwhelming grand triumphs, we just won’t get that high. Life is the one movie where we get to be the hero and the drama keeps the movie interesting. The problem is that it also kills mental peace. In our attempt to make life a blockbuster, we end up busting our own overwrought minds.

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We obsess over everything – analyze, rationalize and correlate till a theatrical production has been created. Our poor production house of a head which is already half dead from creating the ‘crisis’ then has to go into producing another grand blockbuster around ‘surviving the crisis’. By the time we are tweeting our great survival story, our poor brain is attending its own funeral.

What if for once we avoided the mental suicide? What if something went wrong but we told the drama queen inside us to just take a rest. No exaggeration on what has happened, no assumptions on the reasons why it has happened, no blanket judgment on who is responsible for it, no pleas to the Almighty on why the Universe is singling us out to inflict pain. The universe doesn’t know, the universe doesn’t care, the universe has its own problems to deal with (Unless we want to handle those planet-swallowing black holes while the universe thinks about our break up).

So if a friend has stopped talking to us completely, why don’t we just call and ask what’s wrong instead of lamenting to all the common friends and analyzing it till we reach the conclusion that this happened because we are the most misunderstood person on Earth. (Emotional tweet to follow – Never explain yourself to people who are committed to misunderstanding you. #Iwillsurvive). For all we know, the friend is probably peeved because we don’t have time to call, but have the time to post at least 10 soul searching survival quotes a day.

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Our minds would be a lot more free and peaceful if we didn’t turn everything into a melting saga. So this is my suggestion, let us fight the battles we really need to fight. At other times, let’s tell the drama queen to shut up and just enjoy being a simple, straightforward potato!

Featured photo credit: pixhome.blogspot.com via pixhome.blogspot.in

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Last Updated on January 2, 2019

7 Steps For Making a New Year’s Resolution and Keeping It

7 Steps For Making a New Year’s Resolution and Keeping It

Are you keen to reinvent yourself this year? Or at least use the new year as a long overdue excuse to get rid of bad habits or pick up new ones?

Yes, it’s that time of year again. The time of year when we feel as if we have to turn over a new leaf. The time when we misguidedly imagine that the arrival of a new year will magically provide the catalyst, motivation and persistence we need to reinvent ourselves.

Traditionally, New Year’s Day is styled as the ideal time to kick start a new phase in your life and the time when you must make your all important new year’s resolution. Unfortunately, the beginning of the year is also one of the worst times to make a major change in your habits because it’s often a relatively stressful time, right in the middle of the party and vacation season.

Don’t set yourself up for failure this year by vowing to make huge changes that will be hard to keep. Instead follow these seven steps for successfully making a new year’s resolution you can stick to for good.

1. Just pick one thing

If you want to change your life or your lifestyle don’t try to change the whole thing at once. It won’t work. Instead pick one area of your life to change to begin with.

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Make it something concrete so you know exactly what change you’re planning to make. If you’re successful with the first change you can go ahead and make another change after a month or so. By making small changes one after the other, you still have the chance to be a whole new you at the end of the year and it’s a much more realistic way of doing it.

Don’t pick a New Year’s resolution that’s bound to fail either, like running a marathon if you’re 40lbs overweight and get out of breath walking upstairs. If that’s the case resolve to walk every day. When you’ve got that habit down pat you can graduate to running in short bursts, constant running by March or April and a marathon at the end of the year. What’s the one habit you most want to change?

2. Plan ahead

To ensure success you need to research the change you’re making and plan ahead so you have the resources available when you need them. Here are a few things you should do to prepare and get all the systems in place ready to make your change.

Read up on it – Go to the library and get books on the subject. Whether it’s quitting smoking, taking up running or yoga or becoming vegan there are books to help you prepare for it. Or use the Internet. If you do enough research you should even be looking forward to making the change.

Plan for success – Get everything ready so things will run smoothly. If you’re taking up running make sure you have the trainers, clothes, hat, glasses, ipod loaded with energetic sounds at the ready. Then there can be no excuses.

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3. Anticipate problems

There will be problems so make a list of what they’ll be. If you think about it, you’ll be able to anticipate problems at certain times of the day, with specific people or in special situations. Once you’ve identified the times that will probably be hard work out ways to cope with them when they inevitably crop up.

4. Pick a start date

You don’t have to make these changes on New Year’s Day. That’s the conventional wisdom, but if you truly want to make changes then pick a day when you know you’ll be well-rested, enthusiastic and surrounded by positive people. I’ll be waiting until my kids go back to school in February.

Sometimes picking a date doesn’t work. It’s better to wait until your whole mind and body are fully ready to take on the challenge. You’ll know when it is when the time comes.

5. Go for it

On the big day go for it 100%. Make a commitment and write it down on a card. You just need one short phrase you can carry in your wallet. Or keep it in your car, by your bed and on your bathroom mirror too for an extra dose of positive reinforcement.

Your commitment card will say something like:

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  • I enjoy a clean, smoke-free life.
  • I stay calm and in control even under times of stress.
  • I’m committed to learning how to run my own business.
  • I meditate daily.

6. Accept failure

If you do fail and sneak a cigarette, miss a walk or shout at the kids one morning don’t hate yourself for it. Make a note of the triggers that caused this set back and vow to learn a lesson from them.

If you know that alcohol makes you crave cigarettes and oversleep the next day cut back on it. If you know the morning rush before school makes you shout then get up earlier or prepare things the night before to make it easier on you.

Perseverance is the key to success. Try again, keep trying and you will succeed.

7. Plan rewards

Small rewards are great encouragement to keep you going during the hardest first days. After that you can probably reward yourself once a week with a magazine, a long-distance call to a supportive friend, a siesta, a trip to the movies or whatever makes you tick.

Later you can change the rewards to monthly and then at the end of the year you can pick an anniversary reward. Something that you’ll look forward to. You deserve it and you’ll have earned it.

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Whatever your plans and goals are for this year, I’d do wish you luck with them but remember, it’s your life and you make your own luck.

Decide what you want to do this year, plan how to get it and go for it. I’ll definitely be cheering you on.

Are you planning to make a New Year’s resolution? What is it and is it something you’ve tried to do before or something new?

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