Advertising
Advertising

Illusions vs Reality: Why Millennials Struggle to Find Happiness

Illusions vs Reality: Why Millennials Struggle to Find Happiness

Picture perfect.

No flaws. Filters got you looking flawless!

How many times have you tweaked a picture in order to create an illusion that you were flawless? But in real life, pimples were everywhere, grey hairs are poppin’, and we see that mustache comin’ through. Though everyone has their imperfections (the one thing that makes everybody unique in their own way), we still strive to put on this seamless front. It isn’t limited to only our physical but also how we live our life. We make it seem as if our relationship is going great, we love all of our besties and are working at our dream job.

Who knew that we could place a filter on life?

Advertising

Especially when being young, educated, and gifted; the pressure from society to have it all together can become crippling. But under this perfect picture; reality can be painful. Your boo ain’t ish, that crew is filled with backstabbers, and career…..yeah you hate to clock in. What if we took the filters off and made the picture, umm naturally beautiful? This is more reason why your life should become a complete mess.

im not perfect

    Who?

    Did you find yourself reading the intro and think to yourself……she is not talking about me! If you did…yes, you are exactly who I’m talking to!  This picture perfect image can slip in on you without even getting noticed. I know that it did for me. There I was, 23 years old, with two degrees, and a job in my field.

    And….

    Advertising

    I HATED IT!

    Like really hated my job.  But the perks were kinda cool, and it always raised an eyebrow when I mentioned to people where I worked. Though no one ever gave me a list of expectation that they had for me; I could sense that they were there. People expected me to be successful and because of that reason, I stayed to fit the description.

    Think about your intentions; are you pursuing that career or staying in that relationship because you want to or you’re expected to?

    Why?

    All of the answers that you came up with in your head should be more reason to let it go. Would you stay in a house that didn’t have a frame? Living in it would be hell. The same goes for our lives; if the foundation becomes weak, we create our own turmoilWant to know the #1 reason that many twentysomethings find themselves between a rock and a hard place? We start something, then an expectation is placed on us (based on opinion, no merit), and we feel stuck even though we changed our mind and no longer want to pursue it.

    Advertising

    ugh

      How?

      You may be wondering how can I talk the filters off?

      Vulnerability.

      (Yes, I did just go all Brene Brown on you). No, you don’t have to get on Facebook live and share your soul; but get real with yourself. Why are you afraid of showing the real you? And how can I begin to peel back those layers?

      Advertising

      The #1 rule is to make it about YOU! 

      Take every outside factor and throw it out the window.

      Ask yourself; what is it that I want to do? Is it switching careers? Starting a business? Going back to school? Leaving a relationship? How can I take one step today to make it my reality? Brick by brick, and the real you develops into a natural beauty. Though we may be young with promising futures; it’s ok to not have it together.

      But in order to really reach our highest potential, it starts with us admitting that the truth about ourselves. It is then and only then when we are able to gather the pieces and begin to build a greater life for ourselves.

      your better than that

        Featured photo credit: worldnow.com via kusi.images.worldnow.com

        More by this author

        Jasamine Hill

        The Millennials' Life Coach

        10 Books Every Young Black Woman Needs to Read in Order to SLAY Top six Podcasts for the Sophistiratchet Woman Illusions vs Reality: Why Millennials Struggle to Find Happiness 5 Ways to Transform From Mediocrity to Excellence Becoming a #BossBabe: 5 reasons you should read more

        Trending in Featured

        1 8 Steps to Continuous Self Motivation Even During the Difficult Times 2 Why Being A Perfectionist May Not Be So Perfect 3 Becoming Self-Taught (The How-To Guide) 4 How to Break Out of Your Comfort Zone 5 The Science of Setting Goals (And Its Effect on Your Brain)

        Read Next

        Advertising
        Advertising
        Advertising

        Last Updated on May 12, 2020

        8 Steps to Continuous Self Motivation Even During the Difficult Times

        8 Steps to Continuous Self Motivation Even During the Difficult Times

        Many of us find ourselves in motivational slumps that we have to work to get out of. Sometimes it’s like a continuous cycle where we are motivated for a period of time, fall out and then have to build things back up again.

        There is nothing more powerful for self-motivation than the right attitude. You can’t choose or control your circumstance, but you can choose your attitude towards your circumstances.

        How I see this working is while you’re developing these mental steps, and utilizing them regularly, self-motivation will come naturally when you need it.

        The key, for me, is hitting the final step to Share With Others. It can be somewhat addictive and self-motivating when you help others who are having trouble.

        A good way to have self motivation continuously is to implement something like these 8 steps from Ian McKenzie.[1] I enjoyed Ian’s article but thought it could use some definition when it comes to trying to build a continuous drive of motivation. Here is a new list on how to self motivate:

        1. Start Simple

        Keep motivators around your work area – things that give you that initial spark to get going.

        Advertising

        These motivators will be the Triggers that remind you to get going.

        2. Keep Good Company

        Make more regular encounters with positive and motivated people. This could be as simple as IM chats with peers or a quick discussion with a friend who likes sharing ideas.

        Positive and motivated people are very different from the negative ones. They will help you grow and see opportunities during tough times.

        Here’re more reasons why you should avoid negative people: 10 Reasons Why You Should Avoid Negative People

        3. Keep Learning

        Read and try to take in everything you can. The more you learn, the more confident you become in starting projects.

        You can train yourself to crave lifelong learning with these tips: How to Develop a Lifelong Learning Habit

        Advertising

        4. See the Good in Bad

        When encountering obstacles or challenging goals, you want to be in the habit of finding what works to get over them.

        Here are 10 tips to make positive thinking easy.

        5. Stop Thinking

        Just do. If you find motivation for a particular project lacking, try getting started on something else. Something trivial even, then you’ll develop the momentum to begin the more important stuff.

        When you’re thinking and worrying about it too much, you’re just wasting time. These tried worry busting techniques can help you.

        6. Know Yourself

        Keep notes on when your motivation sucks and when you feel like a superstar. There will be a pattern that, once you are aware of, you can work around and develop.

        Read for yourself how the magic of marking down your mood works.

        Advertising

        7. Track Your Progress

        Keep a tally or a progress bar for ongoing projects. When you see something growing, you will always want to nurture it.

        Take a look at these 4 simple ways to track your progress so you have motivation to achieve your goals.

        8. Help Others

        Share your ideas and help friends get motivated. Seeing others do well will motivate you to do the same. Write about your success and get feedback from readers.

        Helping others actually helps yourself, here’s why.

        What I would hope happens here is you will gradually develop certain skills that become motivational habits.

        Once you get to the stage where you are regularly helping others keep motivated – be it with a blog or talking with peers – you’ll find the cycle continuing where each facet of staying motivated is refined and developed.

        Advertising

        Too Many Steps?

        If you could only take one step? Just do it!

        Once you get started on something, you’ll almost always just get into it and keep going. There will be times when you have to do things you really don’t want to: that’s where the other steps and tips from other writers come in handy.

        However, the most important thing, that I think is worth repeating, is to just get started.

        Get that momentum going and then when you need to, take Ian’s Step 7 and Take A Break. No one wants to work all the time!

        More Tips for Boosting Motivation

        Featured photo credit: Japheth Mast via unsplash.com

        Reference

        [1] Ian McKenzie: 8 mental steps to self-motivation

        Read Next