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Illusions vs Reality: Why Millennials Struggle to Find Happiness

Illusions vs Reality: Why Millennials Struggle to Find Happiness

Picture perfect.

No flaws. Filters got you looking flawless!

How many times have you tweaked a picture in order to create an illusion that you were flawless? But in real life, pimples were everywhere, grey hairs are poppin’, and we see that mustache comin’ through. Though everyone has their imperfections (the one thing that makes everybody unique in their own way), we still strive to put on this seamless front. It isn’t limited to only our physical but also how we live our life. We make it seem as if our relationship is going great, we love all of our besties and are working at our dream job.

Who knew that we could place a filter on life?

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Especially when being young, educated, and gifted; the pressure from society to have it all together can become crippling. But under this perfect picture; reality can be painful. Your boo ain’t ish, that crew is filled with backstabbers, and career…..yeah you hate to clock in. What if we took the filters off and made the picture, umm naturally beautiful? This is more reason why your life should become a complete mess.

im not perfect

    Who?

    Did you find yourself reading the intro and think to yourself……she is not talking about me! If you did…yes, you are exactly who I’m talking to!  This picture perfect image can slip in on you without even getting noticed. I know that it did for me. There I was, 23 years old, with two degrees, and a job in my field.

    And….

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    I HATED IT!

    Like really hated my job.  But the perks were kinda cool, and it always raised an eyebrow when I mentioned to people where I worked. Though no one ever gave me a list of expectation that they had for me; I could sense that they were there. People expected me to be successful and because of that reason, I stayed to fit the description.

    Think about your intentions; are you pursuing that career or staying in that relationship because you want to or you’re expected to?

    Why?

    All of the answers that you came up with in your head should be more reason to let it go. Would you stay in a house that didn’t have a frame? Living in it would be hell. The same goes for our lives; if the foundation becomes weak, we create our own turmoilWant to know the #1 reason that many twentysomethings find themselves between a rock and a hard place? We start something, then an expectation is placed on us (based on opinion, no merit), and we feel stuck even though we changed our mind and no longer want to pursue it.

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    ugh

      How?

      You may be wondering how can I talk the filters off?

      Vulnerability.

      (Yes, I did just go all Brene Brown on you). No, you don’t have to get on Facebook live and share your soul; but get real with yourself. Why are you afraid of showing the real you? And how can I begin to peel back those layers?

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      The #1 rule is to make it about YOU! 

      Take every outside factor and throw it out the window.

      Ask yourself; what is it that I want to do? Is it switching careers? Starting a business? Going back to school? Leaving a relationship? How can I take one step today to make it my reality? Brick by brick, and the real you develops into a natural beauty. Though we may be young with promising futures; it’s ok to not have it together.

      But in order to really reach our highest potential, it starts with us admitting that the truth about ourselves. It is then and only then when we are able to gather the pieces and begin to build a greater life for ourselves.

      your better than that

        Featured photo credit: worldnow.com via kusi.images.worldnow.com

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        Jasamine Hill

        The Millennials' Life Coach

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        Last Updated on April 8, 2019

        22 Tips for Effective Deadlines

        22 Tips for Effective Deadlines

        Unless you’re infinitely rich or prepared to rack up major debt, you need to budget your income. Setting limits on how much you are willing to spend helps control expenses. But what about your time? Do you budget your time or spend it carelessly?

        Deadlines are the chronological equivalent of a budget. By setting aside a portion of time to complete a task, goal or project in advance you avoid over-spending. Deadlines can be helpful but they can also be a source of frustration if set improperly. Here are some tips for making deadlines work:

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        1. Use Parkinson’s Law – Parkinson’s Law states that tasks expand to fill the time given to them. By setting a strict deadline in advance you can cut off this expansion and focus on what is most important.
        2. Timebox – Set small deadlines of 60-90 minutes to work on a specific task. After the time is up you finish. This cuts procrastinating and forces you to use your time wisely.
        3. 80/20 – The Pareto Principle suggests that 80% of the value is contained in 20% of the input. Apply this rule to projects to focus on that critical 20% first and fill out the other 80% if you still have time.
        4. Project VS Deadline – The more flexible your project, the stricter your deadline. If a task has relatively little flexibility in completion a softer deadline will keep you sane. If the task can grow easily, keep a tight deadline to prevent waste.
        5. Break it Down – Any deadline over one day should be broken down into smaller units. Long deadlines fail to motivate if they aren’t applied to manageable units.
        6. Hofstadter’s Law – Basically this law states that it always takes longer than you think. A rule I’ve heard in software development is to double the time you think you need. Then add six months. Be patient and give yourself ample time for complex projects.
        7. Backwards Planning – Set the deadline first and then decide how you will achieve it. This approach is great when choices are abundant and projects could go on indefinitely.
        8. Prototype – If you are attempting something new, test out smaller versions of a project to help you decide on a final deadline. Write a 10 page e-book before your 300 page novel or try to increase your income by 10% before aiming to double it.
        9. Find the Weak Link – Figure out what could ruin your plans and accomplish it first. Knowing the unknown can help you format your deadlines.
        10. No Robot Deadlines – Robots can work without sleep, relaxation or distractions. You aren’t a robot. Don’t schedule your deadline with the expectation you can work sixteen hour days to complete it. Deathmarches aren’t healthy.
        11. Get Feedback – Get a realistic picture from people working with you. Giving impossible deadlines to contractors or employees will only build resentment.
        12. Continuous Planning – If you use a backwards planning model, you need to constantly be updating plans to fit your deadline. This means making cuts, additions or refinements so the project will fit into the expected timeframe.
        13. Mark Excess Baggage – Identify areas of a task or project that will be ignored if time grows short. What e-mails will you have to delete if it takes too long to empty your inbox? What features will your product lack if you need a rapid finish?
        14. Review – For deadlines over a month long take a weekly review to track your progress. This will help you identify methods you can use to speed up work and help you plan more efficiently for the future.
        15. Find Shortcuts – Almost any task or project has shortcuts you can use to save time. Is there a premade library you can use instead of building your own functions? An autoresponder to answer similar e-mails? An expert you can call to help solve a problem?
        16. Churn then Polish – Set a strict deadline for basic completion and then set a more comfortable deadline to enhance and polish afterwards. Often churning out the basics of a task quickly will require no more polishing afterwards than doing it slowly.
        17. Reminders – Post reminders of your deadlines everywhere. Creating a sense of urgency with your deadlines is necessary to keep them from getting pushed aside by distractions.
        18. Forward Planning – Not mutually exclusive with backwards planning, this involves planning the details of a project out before setting a deadline. Great for achieving clarity about what you are trying to accomplish before making arbitrary time limits.
        19. Set a Timer – Get one that beeps. Somehow the countdown of a timer appears more realistic for a ninety minute timebox than just glancing at your clock.
        20. Write them Down – Any deadline over a few hours needs to be written down. Otherwise it is an inclination not a goal. Having written deadlines makes them more tangible than internal decisions alone.
        21. Cheap/Fast/Good – Ben Casnocha in My Start Up Life mentions that you can have only have two of the three. Pick two of the cheap/fast/good dimensions before starting a project to help you prioritize.
        22. Be Patient – Using a deadline may seem to be the complete opposite of patience. But being patient with inflexible tasks is necessary to focus on their completion. The paradox is that the more patient you are, the more you can focus. The more you can focus the quicker the results will come!

        Featured photo credit: Estée Janssens via unsplash.com

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