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Illusions vs Reality: Why Millennials Struggle to Find Happiness

Illusions vs Reality: Why Millennials Struggle to Find Happiness

Picture perfect.

No flaws. Filters got you looking flawless!

How many times have you tweaked a picture in order to create an illusion that you were flawless? But in real life, pimples were everywhere, grey hairs are poppin’, and we see that mustache comin’ through. Though everyone has their imperfections (the one thing that makes everybody unique in their own way), we still strive to put on this seamless front. It isn’t limited to only our physical but also how we live our life. We make it seem as if our relationship is going great, we love all of our besties and are working at our dream job.

Who knew that we could place a filter on life?

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Especially when being young, educated, and gifted; the pressure from society to have it all together can become crippling. But under this perfect picture; reality can be painful. Your boo ain’t ish, that crew is filled with backstabbers, and career…..yeah you hate to clock in. What if we took the filters off and made the picture, umm naturally beautiful? This is more reason why your life should become a complete mess.

im not perfect

    Who?

    Did you find yourself reading the intro and think to yourself……she is not talking about me! If you did…yes, you are exactly who I’m talking to!  This picture perfect image can slip in on you without even getting noticed. I know that it did for me. There I was, 23 years old, with two degrees, and a job in my field.

    And….

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    I HATED IT!

    Like really hated my job.  But the perks were kinda cool, and it always raised an eyebrow when I mentioned to people where I worked. Though no one ever gave me a list of expectation that they had for me; I could sense that they were there. People expected me to be successful and because of that reason, I stayed to fit the description.

    Think about your intentions; are you pursuing that career or staying in that relationship because you want to or you’re expected to?

    Why?

    All of the answers that you came up with in your head should be more reason to let it go. Would you stay in a house that didn’t have a frame? Living in it would be hell. The same goes for our lives; if the foundation becomes weak, we create our own turmoilWant to know the #1 reason that many twentysomethings find themselves between a rock and a hard place? We start something, then an expectation is placed on us (based on opinion, no merit), and we feel stuck even though we changed our mind and no longer want to pursue it.

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    ugh

      How?

      You may be wondering how can I talk the filters off?

      Vulnerability.

      (Yes, I did just go all Brene Brown on you). No, you don’t have to get on Facebook live and share your soul; but get real with yourself. Why are you afraid of showing the real you? And how can I begin to peel back those layers?

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      The #1 rule is to make it about YOU! 

      Take every outside factor and throw it out the window.

      Ask yourself; what is it that I want to do? Is it switching careers? Starting a business? Going back to school? Leaving a relationship? How can I take one step today to make it my reality? Brick by brick, and the real you develops into a natural beauty. Though we may be young with promising futures; it’s ok to not have it together.

      But in order to really reach our highest potential, it starts with us admitting that the truth about ourselves. It is then and only then when we are able to gather the pieces and begin to build a greater life for ourselves.

      your better than that

        Featured photo credit: worldnow.com via kusi.images.worldnow.com

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        Jasamine Hill

        The Millennials' Life Coach

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        Last Updated on November 18, 2020

        15 Tips to Restart the Exercise Habit (and How to Keep It)

        15 Tips to Restart the Exercise Habit (and How to Keep It)

        It’s okay, you can finally admit it. It’s been two months since you’ve seen the inside of the gym. Getting sick, family crisis, overtime at work and school papers that needed to get finished all kept you for exercising. Now, the question is: how do you start again?
        Once you have an exercise habit, it becomes automatic. You just go to the gym, there is no force involved. But after a month, two months or possibly a year off, it can be hard to get started again. Here are some tips to climb back on that treadmill after you’ve fallen off.

        1. Don’t Break the Habit – The easiest way to keep things going is simply not to stop. Avoid long breaks in exercising or rebuilding the habit will take some effort. This may be advice a little too late for some people. But if you have an exercise habit going, don’t drop it at the first sign of trouble.
        2. Reward Showing Up – Woody Allen once said that, “Half of life is showing up.” I’d argue that 90% of making a habit is just making the effort to get there. You can worry about your weight, amount of laps you run or the amount you can bench press later.
        3. Commit for Thirty Days – Make a commitment to go every day (even just for 20 minutes) for one month. This will solidify the exercise habit. By making a commitment you also take pressure off yourself in the first weeks back of deciding whether to go.
        4. Make it Fun – If you don’t enjoy yourself at the gym, it is going to be hard to keep it a habit. There are thousands of ways you can move your body and exercise, so don’t give up if you’ve decided lifting weights or doing crunches isn’t for you. Many large fitness centers will offer a range of programs that can suit your tastes.
        5. Schedule During Quiet Hours – Don’t put exercise time in a place where it will easily be pushed aside by something more important. Right after work or first thing in the morning are often good places to put it. Lunch-hour workouts might be too easy to skip if work demands start mounting.
        6. Get a Buddy – Grab a friend to join you. Having a social aspect to exercising can boost your commitment to the exercise habit.
        7. X Your Calendar – One person I know has the habit of drawing a red “X” through any day on the calendar he goes to the gym. The benefit of this is it quickly shows how long it has been since you’ve gone to the gym. Keeping a steady amount of X’s on your calendar is an easy way to motivate yourself.
        8. Enjoyment Before Effort – After you finish any work out, ask yourself what parts you enjoyed and what parts you did not. As a rule, the enjoyable aspects of your workout will get done and the rest will be avoided. By focusing on how you can make workouts more enjoyable, you can make sure you want to keep going to the gym.
        9. Create a Ritual – Your workout routine should become so ingrained that it becomes a ritual. This means that the time of day, place or cue automatically starts you towards grabbing your bag and heading out. If your workout times are completely random, it will be harder to benefit from the momentum of a ritual.
        10. Stress Relief – What do you do when your stressed? Chances are it isn’t running. But exercise can be a great way to relieve stress, releasing endorphin which will improve your mood. The next time you feel stressed or tired, try doing an exercise you enjoy. When stress relief is linked to exercise, it is easy to regain the habit even after a leave of absence.
        11. Measure Fitness – Weight isn’t always the best number to track. Increase in muscle can offset decreases in fat so the scale doesn’t change even if your body is. But fitness improvements are a great way to stay motivated. Recording simple numbers such as the number of push-ups, sit-ups or speed you can run can help you see that the exercise is making you stronger and faster.
        12. Habits First, Equipment Later – Fancy equipment doesn’t create a habit for exercise. Despite this, some people still believe that buying a thousand dollar machine will make up for their inactivity. It won’t. Start building the exercise habit first, only afterwards should you worry about having a personal gym.
        13. Isolate Your Weakness – If falling off the exercise wagon is a common occurrence for you, find out why. Do you not enjoy exercising? Is it a lack of time? Is it feeling self-conscious at the gym? Is it a lack of fitness know-how? As soon as you can isolate your weakness, you can make steps to improve the situation.
        14. Start Small – Trying to run fifteen miles your first workout isn’t a good way to build a habit. Work below your capacity for the first few weeks to build the habit. Otherwise you might scare yourself off after a brutal workout.
        15. Go for Yourself, Not to Impress – Going to the gym with the only goal of looking great is like starting a business with only the goal to make money. The effort can’t justify the results. But if you go to the gym to push yourself, gain energy and have a good time, then you can keep going even when results are slow.

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