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What All Millennial Divorced Mothers Want You To Know Before Dating Them

What All Millennial Divorced Mothers Want You To Know Before Dating Them

The millennials who made Generation X raise their eyebrows not long ago are now becoming parents on their own. With 1 in 5 mothers being millennials, there are roughly 9 million millennial mothers raising kids. Unfortunately, many of them are also single mothers, as millennials seem to marry in a hurry and divorce in the same hurry.

This is why many young women in their 20s and early 30s, are now leaving the casual sex relationships and flirty texting, for changing diapers. However, just because they are raising a kid – or multiple – doesn’t mean these women have given up on finding love. Due to misconceptions, men believe a single mother is not “datable” anymore, which is completely wrong. Even mothers need love and crave sex– even if they don’t need another spouse. Here are some of the most important things a millennial divorced single mother wants you to know before dating her.

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1. I don’t want to get married

At least for some time, a woman who has been in a marriage and has had a child is not willing to re-marry quite soon. The sheer amount of money and time she gave to divorce attorneys is enough to make her cringe at the thought of going through another marriage. A single mother is not going to jump into another marriage, because her regained independence is everything for her, along with her child. Of course, this makes things a bit complicated when it comes to having a relationship: while the mother is not going to look for someone for “forever after”, she is not looking for a one night stand either. The balance between these two is delicate.

2. Planning and organizing my life is the norm

Lovers enjoy a spontaneous trip abroad or to the countryside, but when you have a kid, this is out of the question. A single mom has to plan everything, from the guitar classes her child takes and the time spent by the child with their father, to the 30-minute walk down the park she enjoys alone and even the sexy time. Yes, this is a little hard, especially for a single man who would love to be able to pick up his date and drive to nowhere. Finding some free time on both sides is not impossible, but it can become a challenge.

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3. I don’t want you to play “daddy”

There are two types of women: those who introduce their kids to their dates right away and those who don’t. Yet both of these single mothers don’t want their dates to play “daddy” for their kids. The child already has a dad, as bad as he might be, so there is no need for another one.

4. I am not “playing hard to get”

Men who think single mothers just “play hard to get” when they say they can’t make time for that romantic date. Single parenting is hard and it leaves little to no room for texting back. If you can’t understand this, you should probably quit dating a single mother, because her life is not going to change for you. She will always have to attend work, be social and deal with all her parenting duties, which include making cookies and attending school concerts.

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5. I don’t want to talk about my child, even if I do talk about him or her

A single mother’s life is 90% about her child, but the rest of 10% is about her. Even if she does talk a lot about her child’s latest achievements, a millennial mother is interested in her job, her friends and her hobbies. When she became a mother she hasn’t ceased to be a millennial woman, so all that funny, high tech and deeply insecure in her own place in the world. At the end of the day, she is still a millennial!

The millennial mother is still interested in how to make her hair grow longer, she is still relying on dating apps and she might screenshot her texts to talk about them with her friends.

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If you want to conquer her heart, recognize her individuality as a person, her femininity and her sex-appeal. When she starts talking about the kid, listen to her, but do ask more about her, because all single mothers need more “me” time, especially on a date.

Millennial mothers have learned their lives don’t revolve around their kids. They know they have a different identity and know how to prioritize their own identities. They know how to separate their time as professionals, mothers and women. Moreover, they know they have to right to be happy and enjoy a healthy intimate life, which makes dating them a completely different experience.

Featured photo credit: Stocksy via stocksy.com

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Last Updated on February 13, 2019

10 Things Happy People Do Differently

10 Things Happy People Do Differently

Think being happy is something that happens as a result of luck, circumstance, having money, etc.? Think again.

Happiness is a mindset. And if you’re looking to improve your ability to find happiness, then check out these 10 things happy people do differently.

Happiness is not something ready made. It comes from your own actions. -Dalai Lama

1. Happy people find balance in their lives.

Folks who are happy have this in common: they’re content with what they have, and don’t waste a whole lot of time worrying and stressing over things they don’t. Unhappy people do the opposite: they spend too much time thinking about what they don’t have. Happy people lead balanced lives. This means they make time for all the things that are important to them, whether it’s family, friends, career, health, religion, etc.

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2. Happy people abide by the golden rule.

You know that saying you heard when you were a kid, “Do unto others as you would have them do to you.” Well, happy people truly embody this principle. They treat others with respect. They’re sensitive to the thoughts and feelings of other people. They’re compassionate. And they get treated this way (most of the time) in return.

3. Happy people don’t sweat the small stuff.

One of the biggest things happy people do differently compared to unhappy people is they let stuff go. Bad things happen to good people sometimes. Happy people realize this, are able to take things in stride, and move on. Unhappy people tend to dwell on minor inconveniences and issues, which can perpetuate feelings of sadness, guilt, resentment, greed, and anger.

4. Happy people take responsibility for their actions.

Happy people aren’t perfect, and they’re well aware of that. When they screw up, they admit it. They recognize their faults and work to improve on them. Unhappy people tend to blame others and always find an excuse why things aren’t going their way. Happy people, on the other hand, live by the mantra:

“There are two types of people in the world: those that do and those that make excuses why they don’t.”

5. Happy people surround themselves with other happy people.

happiness surrounding

    One defining characteristic of happy people is they tend to hang out with other happy people. Misery loves company, and unhappy people gravitate toward others who share their negative sentiments. If you’re struggling with a bout of sadness, depression, worry, or anger, spend more time with your happiest friends or family members. Chances are, you’ll find that their positive attitude rubs off on you.

    6. Happy people are honest with themselves and others.

    People who are happy often exhibit the virtues of honesty and trustworthiness. They would rather give you candid feedback, even when the truth hurts, and they expect the same in return. Happy people respect people who give them an honest opinion.

    7. Happy people show signs of happiness.

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    smile

      This one may sound obvious but it’s a key differentiator between happy and unhappy people. Think about your happiest friends. Chances are, the mental image you form is of them smiling, laughing, and appearing genuinely happy. On the flip side, those who aren’t happy tend to look the part. Their posture may be slouched and you may perceive a lack of confidence.

      8. Happy people are passionate.

      Another thing happy people have in common is their ability to find their passions in life and pursue those passions to the fullest. Happy people have found what they’re looking for, and they spend their time doing what they love.

      9. Happy people see challenges as opportunities.

      Folks who are happy accept challenges and use them as opportunities to learn and grow. They turn negatives into positives and make the best out of seemingly bad situations. They don’t dwell on things that are out of their control; rather, they seek solutions and creative ways of overcoming obstacles.

      10. Happy people live in the present.

      While unhappy people tend to dwell on the past and worry about the future, happy people live in the moment. They are grateful for “the now” and focus their efforts on living life to the fullest in the present. Their philosophy is:

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      There’s a reason it’s called “the present.” Because life is a gift.

      So if you’d like to bring a little more happiness into your life, think about the 10 principles above and how you can use them to make yourself better.

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