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Study Says Kids Who Don’t Conform Easily Are More Likely To Be Successful

Study Says Kids Who Don’t Conform Easily Are More Likely To Be Successful

If you’re a parent, you’ve probably had some moments when you just truly didn’t know if you could keep going. You were ready to throw your hands up and say, “Screw it! The kid can do whatever she wants!” Kids are stubborn. Sometimes, they just won’t stop climbing into the toilet, and sometimes, they’d rather sulk at the dinner table like a brat than just eat one more bite of peas.

Don’t worry, Mom and Dad, there’s good news. Next time you’re wondering whether you can make it through one more day, consider this: A new study shows that stubborn kids tend to turn into successful kids.

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Guess who earned the highest salaries?

How the research was done

This study followed over 700 kids from the time that they were as young as 8, to well into their 40s. This research is possibly the most expansive that exists on the subject. The study seeks to explain the relationship between attitudes and behaviors of students in late childhood and their success as an adult. The participants were studied, and the research determined personality traits in the kids such as pessimism, defiance, and stubbornness.

The surprising results

At the end of the study, guess who earned the highest salaries? The adults who were stubborn and resistant as kids. The adults who, as kids, just wouldn’t play by the rules or do as they were told. So, if getting your kid to put their shoes on to leave the house is the world’s hardest chore, don’t worry. They’re going to be able to repay you one day with big paychecks.

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Explanation for such results

The writers at Time reported on this story, and offered their insight – and it makes sense. Kids who aren’t willing to settle for something they don’t want aren’t going to grow into adults that will settle for less prestigious jobs. In the classroom, these kids are more competitive. During salary negotiations and job interviews, they’ll be more likely to fight for their financial interests. In a nutshell, a kid with a strong will is likely to become an adult with a strong will.

So, how do you know if your kid is strong willed? According to the Time article, “Strong-willed kids have strong gut reactions that they’ll battle for even when it’s illogical, say professional therapists. They go after what they want at any cost.”

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Some therapists claim that strong-willed kids are less likely to succumb to peer pressure, and if they are steered in the right direction, they can be among the biggest achievers of their generation. As parents, if you can keep your kid motivated, they will end up being motivated leaders of their community.

What This Means For Your Kid

The research is quite conclusive. Even if it’s unable to explain the correlation between stubbornness and success, does the why really matter, though? As long as you know that your kid is strong-willed, you know that you’re in a good position to raise a winner.

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Also, it doesn’t take into account the career paths, life decisions, or other mid-life choices these kids made. It is simply examining a starting point and an ending point. It’s possible that all the stubborn kids became career criminals because of their defiance of authority. It is possible that these kids were more willing to advance their career at the expense of their coworkers, but there is no evidence to support this. The point is, we only know one thing for sure: personality traits are a much better predictor of a child’s future financial success than IQ or intelligence.

So maybe the next time you’re having an epic battle over refusing to clean their rooms, take a moment to be thankful for their strong will.

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Last Updated on September 12, 2019

12 Things You Should Remember When Feeling Lost in Life

12 Things You Should Remember When Feeling Lost in Life

Even the most charismatic people you know, whether in person or celebrities of some sort, experience days where they feel lost in life and isolated from everyone else.

While it’s good to know we aren’t alone in this feeling, the question still remains:

What should we do when we feel lost and lonely?

Here are 12 things to remember:

1. Recognize That It’s Okay!

The truth is, there are times you need to be alone. If you’ve always been accustomed to being in contact with people, this may prove difficult.

However, learning how to be alone and comfortable in your own skin will give you confidence and a sense of self reliance.

We cheat ourselves out of the opportunity to become self reliant when we look for constant companionship.

Learn how to embrace your me time: What Your Fear of Being Alone Is Really About and How to Get over It

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2. Use Your Lost and Loneliness as a Self-Directing Guide

You’ve most likely heard the expression: “You have to know where you’ve been to know where you’re going.”

Loneliness also serves as a life signal to indicate you’re in search of something. It’s when we’re in the midst of solitude that answers come from true soul searching.

Remember, there is more to life than what you’re feeling.

3. Realize Loneliness Helps You Face the Truth

Being in the constant company of others, although comforting sometimes, can often serve as a distraction when we need to face the reality of a situation.

Solitude cuts straight to the chase and forces you to deal with the problem at hand. See it as a blessing that can serve as a catalyst to set things right!

4. Be Aware That You Have More Control Than You Think

Typically, when we see ourselves as being lost or lonely, it gives us an excuse to view everything we come in contact with in a negative light. It lends itself to putting ourselves in the victim mode, when the truth of the matter is that you choose your attitude in every situation.

No one can force a feeling upon you! It is YOU who has the ultimate say as to how you choose to react.

5. Embrace the Freedom That the Feeling of Being Alone Can Offer

Instead of wallowing in self pity, which many are prone to do because of loneliness, try looking at your circumstance as a new-found freedom.

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Most people are in constant need of approval of their viewpoints. Try enjoying the fact that  you don’t need everyone you care about to support your decisions.

6. Acknowledge the Person You Are Now

Perhaps you feel a sense of loneliness and confusion because your life circumstances have taken you away from the persona that others know to be you.

Perhaps the new you differs radically from the old. Realize that life is about change and how we react to that change. It’s okay that you’re not who you used to be.

Take a look at this article and learn to accept your imperfect self: Accept Yourself (Flaws and All): 7 Benefits of Being Vulnerable

7. Keep Striving to Do Your Best

Often those who are feeling isolated and unto themselves will develop a defeatist attitude. They’ll do substandard work because their self esteem is low and they don’t care.

Never let this feeling take away your sense of worth! Do your best always and when you come through this dark time, others will admire how you stayed determined in spite of the obstacles you had to overcome.

And to live your best life, you must do this ONE thing: step out of your comfort zone.

8. Don’t Forget That Time Is Precious

When we’re lost in a sea of loneliness and depression, it’s all too easy to reflect on regrets of past life events. This does nothing but feed negativity and perpetuate the situation.

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Instead of falling prey to this common pitfall, put one foot in front of the other and acknowledge every positive step you take. By doing this, you can celebrate the struggles you overcome at the end of the day.

9. Remember, Things Happen for a Reason

Every circumstance we encounter in our life is designed to teach us and that lesson is in turn passed on to others.

Sometimes we’re fortunate enough to figure out the lesson to be learned, while other times, we simply need to have faith that if the lesson wasn’t meant directly for us to learn from, how we handled it was observed by someone who needed to learn.

Your solitude and feeling of lost, in this instance, although painful possibly, may be teaching someone else.

10. Journal During This Time

Record your thoughts when you’re at the height of loneliness and feeling lost. You’ll be amazed when you reflect back at how you viewed things at the time and how far you’ve come later.

This time (if recorded) can give you a keen insight into who you are and what makes you feel the way you feel.

11. Remember You Aren’t the First to Feel This Way

It’s quite common to feel as if we’re alone and no one else has ever felt this way before. We think this because at the time of our distress, we’re silently observing others around us who are seemingly fine in every way.

The truth is, we can’t possibly know the struggles of those around us unless they elect to share them. We ALL have known this pain!

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Try confiding in someone you trust and ask them how they deal with these feelings when they experienced it. You may be surprised at what you learn.

12. Ask for Help If the Problem Persists

The feeling of being lost and lonely is common to everyone, but typically it will last for a relatively short period of time.

Most people will confess to, at one time or another, being in a “funk.” But if the problem persists longer than you feel it should, don’t ignore it.

When your ability to reason and consider things rationally becomes impaired, do not poo poo the problem away and think it isn’t worthy of attention. Seek medical help.

Afraid to ask for help? Here’s how to change your outlook to aim high!

Final Thoughts

Loneliness and a sense of feeling lost can in many ways be extremely painful and difficult to deal with at best. However, these feelings can also serve as a catalyst for change in our lives if we acknowledge them and act.

Above anything, cherish your mental well being and don’t underestimate its worth. Seek professional guidance if you’re unable to distinguish between a sense of freedom for yourself and a sense of despair.

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Featured photo credit: Andrew Neel via unsplash.com

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