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The More You Text, The Less Stable Your Relationship Would Be, Research Finds

The More You Text, The Less Stable Your Relationship Would Be, Research Finds

Does it matter how often you text your partner?

You might think that if you text your partner frequently and they also message you on a regular basis, then it’s a positive sign that all is well in your relationship. After all, doesn’t text messaging prove that you are thinking about one another and want to stay connected throughout the day?

However, research suggests that the link between texting patterns and relationship satisfaction differs as a function of gender. In other words, men and women do not think alike when it comes to how often they send messages and how happy they are with their partners.

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How the research was done

Research published in the Journal of Couple and Relationship Therapy outlines a study in which the texting habits and relationship satisfaction of 276 emerging adults (those aged between 18 and 25) in committed relationships were asked to report on their communication habits and feelings about their relationships. Each participant was asked how often they sent text messages to their partner. Of the 276 participants included in the study, half were engaged or married. They were also asked other probing questions, such as how many times they had considered ending their relationship, and the extent to which they felt as though their partner cared for and paid attention to them.

Perceptions in common

In some respects, men and women use texting in similar ways. For instance, the study found that both sexes are more likely to express affection via text when they feel bonded to their partners. However, there was a clear sex difference when it came to other findings. For female participants, there was a positive correlation between the number of texts they sent on a daily basis and the degree to which they believed their relationship was stable.

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Negative correlation between the number of texts they sent and the stability of their partnership reported

However, this was not the case for the men in the study, who reported a negative correlation between the number of texts they sent and the stability of their partnership. Furthermore, there was a negative association between the number of texts the average male participant sent to his partner and his relationship satisfaction. The study also found that women were more likely than men to attempt sensitive or difficult conversations via text. However, participants who reported doing this as a means of resolving conflict were less happy with their partnership.

What is recommended to do then

The study results are correlational, which means that the researchers cannot say that, for example, sending many text messages causes women to feel more secure in the stability of their relationships. However, the findings can still present interesting and useful starting points for discussions around the use of technology in relationships. Lori Schade, lead researcher on the project, told NPR that men may use texting as a means of retaining emotional distance from their partners, which may explain why those who send the most messages tend to be the least satisfied.

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“Maybe it was a way for them [men] to check out or not have to show up, by using their cellphone instead,” she speculated.

Schade recommends that whilst there is no need to stop texting your partner altogether, tricky conversations should be saved for face-to-face meetings rather than a prolonged exchange of messages. She also believes that real-life conversations tend to result in fewer hurt feelings, because when texting people “have time to think about it, and stew about it, and then respond again. It’s almost harder to disconnect”.

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So when you message your partner, try to keep your communications light-hearted. Stick to talking about upcoming events or the positive elements of your relationship. Use your phone to make them feel loved and appreciated.

Featured photo credit: Studenten via studenten.net

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Jay Hill

Freelance Writer

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Last Updated on October 18, 2018

The Top 10 Dating Apps That You Won’t Regret Downloading

The Top 10 Dating Apps That You Won’t Regret Downloading

Online dating is getting much more popular these days and now, plenty hard to avoid. Since Tinder and the wave of new apps that are coming out at a seemingly constant rate, it is becoming that much more popular to meet someone online.

So we have put together the top 10  dating apps that you should be ready  to download in 2015.

10. Tangle

Basically a newer version of Missed Connections Craigslist, it matches you with people you walk by who are on the same app, and then if you both like each other, you can contact each other. It’s as simple and fun as Tinder, once you happen to walk by someone you actually like.

tangle

    9. The Dating Ring

    This one is a professional matchmaking service that takes you out of the dating situation. For the more busy daters out there, it’s a great resource, as they seem to take the work out if to for you and you can then relax and get set up on dates as opposed to doing the research up front.

    The price is per date or monthly subscription.

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    dating ring

      8. Ok Cupid

      A traditional site, but also an oldie and a goodie. Although you can be swarmed with many creeper messages, there are still a handful of quality users on the site that can make all the bad ones seem so much less important.

      You can search for people based on your preferences, get a match of the day, and see who is online. OkCupid also offers in-person single event mixers, which are a great way to actually get out of the house and date more, once you’re ready.

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        7. The Grade

        This new app measures you as an eligible date based on a grade. It grades on a scale of A to F, based on things like your messages and pictures.

        It’s a great way to weed out the creeper messages that women tend to get more, but also promotes better online dating behavior and not hiding behind a profile.

        the grade

          6. Siren

          Siren is a Q&A platform and based on the answers to the questions the women asks, she can then control who can see them in the app. It also features a question of the day, to which users can answer and see each other’s answers to generate conversations.

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          Finally, for women, there’s the feature of a “siren call,” which allows for an announcement to basically call out to all the gentlemen in the app.  It’s a unique app, but the whole idea of submitting questions before you see the female user behind the question is not the best motivation to keep playing if your matches end up being someone you are attracted too.

          Siren

            5. Coffee Meets Bagel

            Here, you get a ‘bagel’ match a day based on your personal preferences. If you both end up liking each other, a private chat is set up that expires after a week.

            Coffee Meet Bagel lets you focus on one match a day as opposed to many many matches to sift through. Although it isn’t as high frequency as Tinder, for example, it is typically for more serious daters and people generally seem more engaged on the app.

            There are less things to worry about and no more multitasking!

            CMB

              4. Tinder

              The one that inspired and started making online dating cooler. Swipe right to like a profile, swipe left to pass.

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              And should you choose, you can connect with the users that only swipe right. Yes, Tinder can feature many creepy users and people only looking for hook ups, but it’s fun, easy and addicting to use.

              tinder

                3. Bumble

                A women-centric new app that launched this past Fall, Bumble is similar to the Tinder format except that women need to make the first move 24 hours after a match is made or the connection disappears forever.

                So far a great app with a good design, and since it launched internationally, you can end up matching with someone across the country. A great way to filter through the empty swipes and bots.

                bumble

                  2. Hinge

                  Less random than Tinder, Hinge users only get matched with friends of friends, which seems like a safer and cooler way to match than with random people. It also limits the amount of matches you get per day based on your network, which weeds out the many bots that are becoming ever so normal on Tinder.

                  You also get to see a match’s education and work upfront. Then, you rate the match and the app sends you an introduction if it’s mutual.

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                  hinge

                    1. The Catch

                    Finally, something different than the Tinder wanna-be instant swipe. The Catch appears as a cross between “The Bachelorette” and “The Dating Game.”

                    Women are in the driving seat where they invite a group of men to play a Q&A game and narrow down the men contestants based on the guys’ answers. The combination of online gaming mechanics and the ‘thrill-of-the-chase’ attraction of real world dating provide a fundamentally more fun and entertaining way to find a match online.

                    And what’s more, men don’t need to spend hours and hours sorting through profiles and messaging women who don’t reply back. Instead, here they are invited to a game and get daily engagement that isn’t the old “swipe,” while women get to ask questions they care about the answers to, as opposed to a stock questionnaire.

                    thecatch.co

                      Featured photo credit: none via eu.fotolia.com

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