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10 Things A Groom Should Do to Have Stress Free Marriage

10 Things A Groom Should Do to Have Stress Free Marriage

The big day is around the corner and lots of what-ifs terrorize the mind of grooms. Doubts about the wedding vows are just the starter. When the much anticipated day finally arrives, it is all but common for grooms to get overwhelmed and forget many things.

Additionally grooms are susceptible to internalize perfect marriage ceremony is only in abstract. With such irrelevance, they anticipate chaos and stresses in the final day. Or, at least they think their marriage will pale into insignificance due to the reason, I quote, as silly as less creamier wedding cake or the blubbering of the otherwise endearing flower girl. Oh boy, how wrong are they. Today, I present to you the 10 things the grooms should do to have stress free marriage.

1. Talk and plan about it.

Sit with your bride-to-be and talk about how you wanted your marriage to be. There may be issues like budgets, venues, attendees among other. Holding discussion sessions about them will converge and harmonize your ideas with hers which resultantly will make the final event with understood flow. This will also be a great sign for being betrothed to a matched pair.

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2. Intensify the connection with her, her family, friends, and relatives.

Under stressing situation of planning the ceremony, it is common to lose touch with the person you are madly in love with: the bride. Therefore a quality time must be spent with her as it symbolizes you love spending time with her under any situation. Be it a dinner date or a movie time. Choice of movies or location of diner does have some major impacts to the future of the marriage.

Intermingling with bride’s family, friends, and relatives strengthen the bonding as there may be divorced parents or estranged siblings who are at odds to the ceremony.

3. Delegation unloads lots of worries.

Don’t bite off more than you can chew. Delegate some responsibilities to some trustworthy friends and relatives. They will run errands for you and you will be relieved of tiny, nagging problems. Also hiring the professional planners are sure shot way to have the job done. They will come in handy especially on the final day.

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4. Economize the time allocation for the final day.

It is tempting to squander the time of the crucial day in arranging a pre-wedding brunch or an extravagant make up. This activity will elevate your social and physical appearance. But believe me you will have to sacrifice a greater chunk of the precious time in the multitasking attempts. Therefore, sticking to the absolute necessities is advisable and correct.

5. Create an ambience.

No matter how evolved and matured you may think of yourself, there are chances that you might have turned blind eyes to obvious pitfalls. Your elderly and parents may see what you ignored. Therefore, enjoy their company and ask their responses and if relevant act accordingly. Also advice the bride to be surrounded by right number of friends and relatives as too many of her friends may cause mass hysteria.

6. Journaling vents the emotive energy.

Being bereft of important family member or losing best friend may be utterly felt during the wedding. At times, the eruption of such ‘missing-them’ feelings may be embarrassing. Therefore, for such soft-hearted grooms, writing journal will productively vent out the emotive energy that they are bottling up. Journaling also identifies issues bothering you chiefly and help address them individually.

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7. Choose open space as the venue.

Get married in an almost open space like park or gardens. Cluttered location creates trouble not only to the attendees and oncoming guest but it may also represent seclusion or impenetrability in psychological sense.

8. Small is important.

A pair of new shoes or a negligible tuft of neglected facial hair is the real dread. A new shoes ache like seven hells while hairs lower your self-confidence. Therefore stretching those fancy shoes before wearing them and having a set of hair clippers deny such moments.

9. Take good care of yourself.

Sleeping and eating properly will make you healthy. Every faction of energy counts, for you need to read out the vows manly and you need to dance with her energetically. Therefore skimpy eating should be discouraged at all cost.

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10. Meditate to bust the stress.

Still if you cannot stay in composure, it is medically advisable to attend yoga classes. The impact is further amplified with mutual participation. Additionally, following your hobbies also ensure growth of collectedness.

Featured photo credit: Pixabay via pixabay.com

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Nabin Paudyal

Co-Founder, Siplikan Media Group

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Last Updated on February 15, 2019

Why Is Goal Setting Important to a Truly Fulfilling Life?

Why Is Goal Setting Important to a Truly Fulfilling Life?

In Personal Development-speak, we are always talking about goals, outcomes, success, desires and dreams. In other words, all the stuff we want to do, achieve and create in our world.

And while it’s important for us to know what we want to achieve (our goal), it’s also important for us to understand why we want to achieve it; the reason behind the goal or some would say, our real goal.

Why is goal setting important?

1. Your needs and desire will be fulfilled.

Sometimes when we explore our “why”, (why we want to achieve a certain thing) we realize that our “what” (our goal) might not actually deliver us the thing (feeling, emotion, internal state) we’re really seeking.

For example, the person who has a goal to lose weight in the belief that weight loss will bring them happiness, security, fulfillment, attention, popularity and the partner of their dreams. In this instance, their “what” is weight-loss and their “why” is happiness (etc.) and a partner.

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Six months later, they have lost the weight (achieved their goal) but as is often the case, they’re not happier, not more secure, not more confident, not more fulfilled and in keeping with their miserable state, they have failed to attract their dream partner.

After all, who wants to be with someone who’s miserable? They achieved their practical goal but still failed to have their needs met.

So they set a goal to lose another ten pounds. And then another. And maybe just ten more. With the destructive and erroneous belief that if they can get thin enough, they’ll find their own personal nirvana. And we all know how that story ends.

2. You’ll find out what truly motivates you

The important thing in the process of constructing our best life is not necessarily what goals we set (what we think we want) but what motivates us towards those goals (what we really want).

The sooner we begin to explore, identify and understand what motivates us towards certain achievements, acquisitions or outcomes (that is, we begin moving towards greater consciousness and self awareness), the sooner we will make better decisions for our life, set more intelligent (and dare I say, enlightened) goals and experience more fulfilment and less frustration.

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We all know people who have achieved what they set out to, only to end up in the same place or worse (emotionally, psychologically, sociologically) because what they were chasing wasn’t really what they were needing.

What we think we want will rarely provide us with what we actually need.

3. Your state of mind will be a lot healthier

We all set specific goals to achieve/acquire certain things (a job, a car, a partner, a better body, a bank balance, a title, a victory) because at some level, most of us believe (consciously or not) that the achievement of those goals will bring us what we really seek; joy, fulfilment, happiness, safety, peace, recognition, love, acceptance, respect, connection.

Of course, setting practical, material and financial goals is an intelligent thing to do considering the world we live in and how that world works.

But setting goals with an expectation that the achievement of certain things in our external, physical world will automatically create an internal state of peace, contentment, joy and total happiness is an unhealthy and unrealistic mindset to inhabit.

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What you truly want and need

Sometimes we need to look beyond the obvious (superficial) goals to discover and secure what we really want.

Sadly, we live in a collective mindset which teaches that the prettiest and the wealthiest are the most successful.

Some self-help frauds even teach this message. If you’re rich or pretty, you’re happy. If you’re both, you’re very happy. Pretty isn’t what we really want; it’s what we believe pretty will bring us. Same goes with money.

When we cut through the hype, the jargon and the self-help mumbo jumbo, we all have the same basic goals, desires and needs:

Joy, fulfilment, happiness, safety, peace, recognition, love, acceptance, respect, connection.

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Nobody needs a mansion or a sport’s car but we all need love.

Nobody needs massive pecs, six percent body-fat, a face lift or bigger breasts but we all need connection, acceptance and understanding.

Nobody needs to be famous but we all need peace, calm, balance and happiness.

The problem is, we live in a culture which teaches that one equals the other. If only we lived in a culture which taught that real success is far more about what’s happening in our internal environment, than our external one.

It’s a commonly-held belief that we’re all very different and we all have different goals — whether short term or long term goals. But in many ways we’re not, and we don’t; we all want essentially the same things.

Now all you have to do is see past the fraud and deception and find the right path.

Featured photo credit: Unsplash via unsplash.com

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