Research has shown that children who have strict parents are more likely to lie than those who don’t. According to children’s expert Victoria Talwar, very strict parenting can have an effect on how children respond and the levels in which they deceive people, particularly their parents. Talwar specializes in cognitive behavioural patterns in children at McGill University, and she says that when children are dealing with strict rules they are also dealing with strict punishments. Because of their fear of the harsh consequences, these children try to find deceptive ways to get out of being punished.
The Peeping Game
A test called the “Peeping Game” was designed to test this theory. There were objects placed behind the children which made noises – the last of which made a noise that was impossible to decipher and relate to the object. This meant that the child could know what the object was only by peeking a look. Then the adults left the room leaving the child and the object inside. The child was later quizzed about the object and also whether they had snuck a look at it. Test results showed that kids with stricter parents were far more deceptive and quite skilled as liars when they were asked to tell the truth.
Lying Does Not Necessarily Mean Harmful Intent
This does not necessarily indicate that the child is a delinquent or heading for a life of petty crime and dishonesty. In fact, it can mean quite the opposite. The child is developing quite advanced psychological skills that could actually be setting them up for a successful future. If a knack for lying developed naturally it could be more problematic. In the above incident, the child is consciously allowing the deception due to an outside force. If the child can consciously keep their lies from their facts straight, they can begin to have very clear perceptions of fact and fiction, and in fact use this to their advantage. It is important however not to encourage manipulation in children whatsoever.
Children and Cognitive Ability
A child’s cognitive abilities can be observed through this experience. A child’s capability for deceptiveness is commonly linked to the abilities of their mind and the level in which cognition is developing. Children can show signs of thinking ‘out of the box’ due to creative deceptiveness and it also shows signs of a very good memory.
At McGill University, Talwar and her team based children’s behaviour on studies involving a developmental model of lying. They said that children from the age of approximately two years began to tell ‘primary’ lies, which may detract from erroneous behaviours but which do not relate directly to the parent or have much connection with reacting to the parent’s behaviour. Children at the age of four years began with ‘secondary’ lies. These are more probable truths than the primary lies and are more personalised, and connected with the accused. ‘Tertiary’ lies are evident at the age of seven. These lies are said to integrate with the truth so that they are even more convincing.
When these models develop at an early age it can show signs of high intelligence in your child. So lying can be an advantage, and quite intellectual! The key is to be mindful of your child’s development.
Being a mom is not easy. Being a single mom is even more challenging. Having children means you are on the job 24/7. Even while you are sleeping, you are still ready to wake at the slightest peep because that is what moms do.
Moms, especially single moms, need more people cheering them on. Your love and care matter to your kids. You are their superhero. I think single moms are superheroes, too.
The quotes below are words of encouragement for all of the single moms out there. Keep up the great work! Your hard work will pay off. Someday, they will be grown up and living on their own. Your job will never truly be done as a mom, but you can pat yourself on the back today and every day for doing mom duty day in and day out.
Here are 50 single mom quotes to encourage all the single moms out there.
“Being raised by a single mother, I learned to appreciate and value independent women.”—Kenny Conley
“As a single mum you’ll discover inner strengths and capabilities you never knew you had.”—Emma-Louise Smith
“One thing I know for sure – this motherhood thing is not for sissies.”—Jennifer Nettles
“Mothers and their children are in a category all their own. There’s no bond so strong in the entire world. No love so instantaneous and forgiving.”—Gail Tsukiyama
“And one day she discovered that she was fierce and strong, and full of fire and that not even she could hold herself back because her passion burned brighter than her fears.”—Mark Anthony
“She never quite leaves her children at home, even when she doesn’t take them along.”—Margaret Culkin Banning
“The most common way people give up their power is by thinking they don’t have any.”—Alice Walker
“Everyone has inside of her a piece of good news. The good news is that you don’t know how great you can be, how much you can love, what you can accomplish, and what your potential is.”—Anne Frank
“Doubt is a killer. You just have to know who you are and what you stand for.”—Jennifer Lopez
“You are more powerful than you know; you are beautiful just as you are.”—Melissa Etheridge
“Motherhood is the greatest thing and the hardest thing.”—Ricki Lake
“You don’t take a class; you’re thrown into motherhood and learn from experience.”—Jennie Finch
“If you look at what you have in life, you’ll always have more. If you look at what you don’t have in life, you’ll never have enough.”—Oprah Winfrey
“I am no bird; and no net ensnares me: I am a free human being with an independent will.”—Charlotte Brontë
“Above all, be the heroine of your life, not the victim.”—Nora Ephron
“When a woman becomes her own best friend life is easier.”—Diane Von Furstenberg
“If you want something said, ask a man; if you want something done, ask a woman.”—Margaret Thatcher
“Women have discovered that they cannot rely on men’s chivalry to give them justice.”—Helen Keller
“Successful mothers are not the ones that have never struggled. They are the ones that never give up, despite the struggles.”—Sharon Jaynes
“Success, they taught me, is built on the foundation of courage, hard work, and individual responsibility. Despite what some would have us believe, success is not built on resentment and fears.”—Susana Martinez
“You may not control all the events that happen to you, but you can decide not to be reduced by them.”—Maya Angelou
“The question isn’t who’s going to let me; it’s who is going to stop me.”—Ayn Rand
“God could not be everywhere, and therefore he made mothers.”—Rudyard Kipling
“The women whom I love and admire for their strength and grace did not get that way because stuff worked out. They got that way because stuff went wrong, and they handled it. They handled it in a thousand different ways on a thousand different days, but they handled it. Those women are my superheroes.”—Elizabeth Gilbert
“There will be so many times you feel like you failed. But in the eyes, ears, and mind of your child, you are a SUPER MOM.”—Stephanie Precourt
“Motherhood is the ultimate call to sacrifice.”—Wangechi Mutu
“We may encounter many defeats but we must not be defeated.”—Maya Angelou
“A mother’s arms are more comforting than anyone else’s.”—Princess Diana
“There’s no way to be a perfect mother and a million ways to be a good one.”—Jill Churchill
“There’s no doubt that motherhood is the best thing in my life. It’s all that really matters.”—Courtney Cox
“I realized when you look at your mother, you are looking at the purest love you will ever know.”—Mitch Albom
“I have found being a mother has made me emotionally raw in many situations. Your heart is beating outside your body when you have a baby.”—Kate Beckinsale
“Single moms, you are a doctor, a teacher, a nurse, a maid, a cook, a referee, a heroine, a provider, a defender, a protector, a true Superwoman. Wear your cape proudly.”—Mandy Hale
“I’m not really single. I mean, I am, but I have a son. Being a single mother is different from being a single woman.”—Kate Hudson
“Being a single parent is twice the work, twice the stress, and twice the tears but also twice the hugs, twice the love, and twice the pride.”—Unknown
“For me, motherhood is learning about the strengths I didn’t know I had, and dealing with the fears I didn’t know existed.”—Halle Berry
“A single mom tries when things are hard. She never gives up. She believes in her family, even when things are tough. She knows that above all things… a mother’s love is more than enough.”—Denice Williams
“You do the best you can. Some days you feel really good about yourself and some days you don’t.”—Katie Holmes
“I would say to any single parent currently feeling the weight of stereotype or stigmatization that I am prouder of my years as a single mother than of any other part of my life.”—JK Rowling
“Just because I am a single mother doesn’t mean I cannot be a success.”—Yvonne Kaloki
“I didn’t plan on being a single mom, but you have to deal with the cards you are dealt the best way you can.”—Tichina Arnold
“Nothing you do for children is ever wasted.”—Garrison Keillor
“A single mom tries when things are hard. She never gives up. She believes in her family, even when things are tough. She knows that above all things, a mother’s love is more than enough.”—Deniece Williams
“Motherhood has a very humanizing effect. Everything gets reduced to essentials.”—Meryl Streep
“Having kids—the responsibility of rearing good, kind, ethical, responsible human beings—is the biggest job anyone can embark on.”—Maria Shriver
“Mother is a verb. It’s something you do. Not just who you are.”—Cheryl Lacey Donovan
“A mother’s love for her child is like nothing else in the world. It knows no law, no pity, it dates all things and crushes down remorselessly all that stands in its path.”—Agatha Christie
“A mother’s arms are more comforting than anyone else’s.”—Princess Diana
“The hand that rocks the cradle is the hand that rules the world.”—W.R. Wallace
“Being a mother is the greatest blessing and the hardest challenge in all of life.”—Dr. Magdalena Battles
Single moms are remarkable women. They are to be respected and honored for all that they do. If you know a single mom, then share this article with them. Tell them “you are doing a great job as a single mom.” They need our encouragement and support.
They may be parenting alone, but it is good to let them know that there are people in their life who care for them. We can all be there for the single moms out there. Even if it is just to say, “keep up the great work, you are an amazing woman!”
If you are a single mom, keep up the good work! You are amazing, and your kids are lucky to have you!