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Lonely and Bitter? 5 Ways to Deal with Solitude

Lonely and Bitter? 5 Ways to Deal with Solitude

There may come a time when you find yourself feeling lonely at one point in your life, and you start questioning how and when exactly that happened. Trying to contemplate the facts and going backwards in time will only make you bitter and resentful – at least, that’s what happened in my case.

There’s no point in crying over spilled milk – you are where you are, and you need to make the best of it. As a matter of fact, solitude can be a very dear friend if you offer it a hand of peace. Any situation can be used to your advantage if you’re able to completely change your mindset and look at the world from a different perspective.

1. It’s Only a Prison If You Make It So

This cage of loneliness is only a creation of your mind, and you can set yourself free. For starters, you should stop feeling sorry for yourself and stop doubting your worth – many lonely people believe that they don’t have anything to offer to the world, and that is the reason why they are so distant from it.

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You have probably already heard about that confidence theory – it’s all about how confident you believe you are. People can smell insecurity from a mile away. And much like the confidence theory, your feelings of insecurity all comes from the inside; the world is exactly the way you believe it is.

If you believe you’re confident – you will be; if you want your mind to be a happier place – you will make it so, and if you want to turn loneliness into a temple of peace and serenity – it’s up to you to start building it.

2. Create Routines and Follow Them Through

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Teenage girl on the grass with a guitar

    It’s quite easy to be pulled into the shadows of depression when you’re lonely – you’ll be pulled in if you let it. However, the fact that you have nothing or no one to plan your day around doesn’t mean you shouldn’t plan at all.

    You should make friends with discipline, for starters. Start your morning with a delicious cup of coffee or cup of your favorite tea, make your own yummy breakfast and enjoy the beginning of your day. Voila – you have already done something useful; you just made yourself feel comfortable and pleasant.

    3. Fill Your Life with Various Projects

    After your morning routine is done, you should roll up your sleeves and see what you can do for your surroundings. DIY projects are extraordinarily beneficial, and they will do wonders for your home and your inner self. Building or fixing things using your own hands, and developing your skills in the process, will make your home more pleasant and help you get to know yourself better. Obviously, this will do great things for your confidence.

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    4. Make Your Work More Interesting

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      A lot of loneliness in this age of technology comes from a whole new phenomenon – working at home. Sure, this comes with a bunch of advantages because you are your own boss, but it also lets you sleep in, which may seem quite harmless in the beginning.

      Get your work and yourself out of the house – there are ways to make friends when working from home, and you should explore your options. Besides, you shouldn’t allow yourself to stagnate but, instead, you need to strive towards advancement and growth. This professional rut may be the reason why you’re bitter, which is why you should find a way to see your work in action and find ways for it to contribute to the world.

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      5. Reach Out and Talk to People

      If your mind is too quiet and you feel like you miss spoken kind words, someone’s acknowledgement or appreciation, the obvious thing to do is to earn it. Obstacles that prevent you from communicating with others can be overcome, but you need to have a strong will to do so.

      You should go to social gatherings you enjoy, visit cultural events that are in your area of interest, take walks at your nearest park, or read in your local library instead of at home because that way you’ll find people who are similar to you and share your thoughts.
      There’s a silver lining to solitude – it allows you to explore the depths of your personality. Upon those discoveries, you should build your life and fashion it according to your needs. It doesn’t seem so bad now, does it? I see it as a great opportunity you should take advantage of.

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      Last Updated on December 10, 2019

      5 Smart Reasons to Start Journal Writing Today

      5 Smart Reasons to Start Journal Writing Today

      Here’s the truth: your effectiveness at life is not what it could be. You’re missing out.

      Each day passes by and you have nothing to prove that it even happened. Did you achieve something? Go on a date? Have an emotional breakthrough? Who knows?

      But what you do know is that you don’t want to make the same mistakes that you’ve made in the past.

      Our lives are full of hidden gems of knowledge and insight, and the most recent events in our lives contain the most useful gems of all. Do you know why? It’s simple, those hidden lessons are the most up to date, meaning they have the largest impact on what we’re doing right now.

      But the question is, how do you get those lessons? There’s a simple way to do it, and it doesn’t involve time machines:

      Journal writing.

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      Improved mental clarity, the ability to see our lives in the big picture, as well as serving as a piece of evidence cataloguing every success we’ve ever had; we are provided all of the above and more by doing some journal writing.

      Journal writing is a useful and flexible tool to help shed light on achieving your goals.

      Here’s 5 smart reasons why you should do journal writing:

      1. Journals Help You Have a Better Connection with Your Values, Emotions, and Goals

      By journaling about what you believe in, why you believe it, how you feel, and what your goals are, you understand your relationships with these things better. This is because you must sort through the mental clutter and provide details on why you do what you do and feel what you feel.

      Consider this:

      Perhaps you’ve spent the last year or so working at a job you don’t like. It would be easy to just suck it up and keep working with your head down, going on as if it’s supposed to be normal to not like your job. Nobody else is complaining, so why should you, right?

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      But a little journal writing will set things straight for you. You don’t like your job. You feel like it’s robbing you of happiness and satisfaction, and you don’t see yourself better there in the future.

      The other workers? Maybe they don’t know, maybe they don’t care. But you do, you know and care enough to do something about it. And you’re capable of fixing this problem because your journal writing allows you to finally be honest with yourself about it.

      2. Journals Improve Mental Clarity and Help Improve Your Focus

      If there’s one thing journal writing is good for, it’s clearing the mental clutter.

      How does it work? Simply, whenever you have a problem and write about it in a journal, you transfer the problem from your head to the paper. This empties the mind, allowing allocation of precious resources to problem-solving rather than problem-storing.

      Let’s say you’ve been juggling several tasks at work. You’ve got data entry, testing, e-mails, problems with the boss, and so on—enough to overwhelm you—but as you start journal writing, things become clearer and easier to understand: Data entry can actually wait till Thursday; Bill kindly offered earlier to do my testing; For e-mails, I can check them now; the boss is just upset because Becky called in sick, etc.

      You become better able to focus and reason your tasks out, and this is an indispensable and useful skill to have.

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      3. Journals Improve Insight and Understanding

      As a positive consequence of improving your mental clarity, you become more open to insights you may have missed before. As you write your notes out, you’re essentially having a dialogue with yourself. This draws out insights that you would have missed otherwise; it’s almost as if two people are working together to better understand each other. This kind of insight is only available to the person who has taken the time to connect with and understand themselves in the form of writing.

      Once you’ve gotten a few entries written down, new insights can be gleaned from reading over them. What themes do you see in your life? Do you keep switching goals halfway through? Are you constantly dating the same type of people who aren’t good for you? Have you slowly but surely pushed people out of your life for fear of being hurt?

      All of these questions can be answered by simply self-reflecting, but you can only discover the answers if you’ve captured them in writing. These questions are going to be tough to answer without a journal of your actions and experiences.

      4. Journals Track Your Overall Development

      Life happens, and it can happen fast. Sometimes we don’t take the time to stop and look around at what’s happening to us at each moment. We don’t get to see the step-by-step progress that we’re making in our own lives. So what happens? One day it’s the future, and you have no idea how you’ve gotten there.

      Journal writing allows you to see how you’ve changed over time, so you can see where you did things right, and you can see where you took a misstep and fell.

      The great thing about journals is that you’ll know what that misstep was, and you can make sure it doesn’t happen again—all because you made sure to log it, allowing yourself to learn from your mistakes.

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      5. Journals Facilitate Personal Growth

      The best thing about journal writing is that no matter what you end up writing about, it’s hard to not grow from it. You can’t just look at a past entry in which you acted shamefully and say “that was dumb, anyway!” No, we say “I will never make a dumb choice like that again!”

      It’s impossible not to grow when it comes to journal writing. That’s what makes journal writing such a powerful tool, whether it’s about achieving goals, becoming a better person, or just general personal-development. No matter what you use it for, you’ll eventually see yourself growing as a person.

      Kickstart Journaling

      How can journaling best be of use to you? To vent your emotions? To help achieve your goals? To help clear your mind? What do you think makes journaling such a useful life skill?

      Know the answer? Then it’s about time you reap the benefits of journal writing and start putting pen to paper.

      Here’s what you can do to start journaling:

      Featured photo credit: Jealous Weekends via unsplash.com

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