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Boundaries Empaths Should Set to Protect Themselves and Stay Mentally Healthy

Boundaries Empaths Should Set to Protect Themselves and Stay Mentally Healthy

Empathy is what makes us human. The more we are sensitive to other people’s feelings and needs, the greater the chance of harmony and creating a beautiful world. Every empath knows that love, mercy and hope are the divine qualities that keep our world running.

But sometimes empathy is what slowly and silently kills us. Being a people-pleaser takes its toll. It is tiring to be polite to people who take your love for granted and treat you like a doormat. It is painful to care for someone unconditionally and feel the thorn of betrayal or insensitivity. It kills when your empathy, instead of being reciprocated, is repaid with negative energy.

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Letting other people take advantage of our kindness is a trap we empaths often fall into. But there’s a simple way to get out of it. You do not need to change your personality into someone who is harsh and rude. You do not need to swap your soft and beautiful heart for a heart of stone. You do not need to compromise your ethics or beliefs at all.

Instead, you need to direct all that love and kindness and care that can change the world at yourself, at your needs and desires. And the easiest way to do this and emerge mentally and physically healthy is to erect firm boundaries. You need to realize that to make this world a better place, you need to be perfectly fit, happy and satisfied. You need to prioritize your needs in order to remain in good shape and high spirits. By doing this, you create a positive and uplifting frame of mind that allows you to function better  and be attune to other people’s needs.

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In short, you need to take care of yourself, to take care of the world. 

These are some of the boundaries you can set to protect yourself from negative energy and emerge healthier and more empathetic than before.

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1. Learn to say no

Learn to say no, especially to those who don’t value your time or respect you. Even if you feel duty-bound to help that person, remember that it is you and your needs that must always come first. Ask yourself: if I’m sick, how will I help those who need me? Politely reject people when the going gets tough. Take on fewer responsibilities.

2. Trust your gut

Keep an eye out for those energy-suckers who always sulk and find reasons to complain. Listen to your heart. If something doesn’t feel right, leave immediately. If you feel someone is trying to take advantage of you, dissociate yourself instead of making up an excuse for them.

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3. Take a break

Go on regular holidays, shopping sprees and detoxes. If you’re overworking, take the next weekend off and go for a long drive, even if you have made some prior commitments. Find a hobby that recharges your spirits and helps you to think out of the box and assess situations objectively. Every once in while, take a well-deserved break and–for goodness sake–do not apologize or feel guilty for enjoying yourself.

4. Heal yourself with self-love

It all boils down to this. Be more selfish, and less selfless and realize that there’s nothing wrong in doing so. Schedule some ‘me time’ for yourself, every single day, and guard it zealously from energy-suckers. Pamper yourself with treats–whether it’s indulging in Swiss chocolate, going for a bath with essential oils and aroma candles, or simply being in the moment and feeling beautiful for being who you are.

What are you waiting for? Share these tips with your wonderful empath friends and help create the beautiful world that you dream of!

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Archita Mittra

wordsmith, graphic designer, ideator, creative consultant, full time freelancer

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Last Updated on February 18, 2019

Why It’s Never Too Late To Redefine Yourself

Why It’s Never Too Late To Redefine Yourself

The ability to reinvent and redefine yourself is a bold, daring and purposeful choice. It doesn’t just happen. You have to make a conscious, intentional choice and then follow through.

If the thought of forging a new path, changing habits, thought patterns and your inner circle of friends scares you – you’re not alone. Change can be a very scary thing. It takes courage, fortitude and a bit of faith to decide to shed your old self and don a new persona. However, it is one of the most critical processes one must repeatedly endure in the pursuit of destiny. Change unlocks new levels of potential.

The Need for Change

Everyday when we wake up, we make a decision. We decide to follow our routine or we decide to go off script and shake things up a bit. For those who are creatures of habit, routine is comfortable, easy and produces very little stress. The problem with this is, after a while you stop growing.

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We all reinvent ourselves at some point in our lives. It is absolutely necessary to achieve certain levels of success.

Reflect back on who you were as a teenager and then who you were at 25. Those are two very different people. Most of us are completely different. Your thought patterns changed, your appearance, job, level of education and even your friends– changed. We like to refer to this as “growing up” or maturing and consider it to be one of life’s natural progressions. However the changes you made were purposeful and deliberate.

This process must be a lifelong and continuous cycle. You are never too old to refresh yourself.

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Happy_old_man

    Signs It’s Time to Redefine

    “Just as established products and brands need updating to stay alive and vibrant, you periodically need to refresh or reinvent yourself.”– Mireille Guiliano

    So how do you know when it’s time for a system upgrade? There are signs along the way that alert you that it is time for an overhaul. The first sign is the feeling of being stuck. If you feel like you are in a rut, you’re bored with life or you need some newness and excitement, a self reinvention may be in order. Re-evaluate your life vision and your goals. Is that vision still valid and are your goals consistent with your vision and–are they achievable? If you are off course, it’s time for a change. If you are not moving forward and making progress, it’s time for a change.

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    In life, there’s no such thing as neutrality–you’re either moving forward or you are moving backward. Time constantly moves forward and if you are standing still, you are actually losing ground. No matter your age or stage in life– there is always room for improvement.

    “You’re never too old to set another goal or dream a new dream.” ~C. S. Lewis

    The second sign that you are due for a change is the occurrence of major life events in which change is forced upon you. Getting married, starting a new job, being promoted, ending a relationship, becoming a parenting or relocating are all prime opportunities to completely overhaul your life.

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    When these major shifts occur in your life–you have to shift with them. You can’t have a single mentality and have a successful marriage. You can’t remain selfish and irresponsible, and raise a healthy, well-adjusted child. You can’t be promoted to a supervisory position and keep the same subordinate attitude. Each level of success requires something different from you.

    Aronld in Predator

      Consider, for a moment, Arnold Schwarzenegger. People may have different opinions about his character and some of his life choices, but he is a master at reinventing himself. He achieved the ultimate success as a professional body builder by earning the title “Mr. Universe” three times. He then earned a tremendous amount of fame and fortune in the entertainment industry making action/adventure films. And in his latest role, he served two terms as the Governor of California. He succeeded as a professional body builder, a film star and a politician. Each role required massive amounts of change, commitment, strength and hard work.

      And if Arnold can do it…so can you!

      Featured photo credit: BK via flickr.com

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