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Boundaries Empaths Should Set to Protect Themselves and Stay Mentally Healthy

Boundaries Empaths Should Set to Protect Themselves and Stay Mentally Healthy

Empathy is what makes us human. The more we are sensitive to other people’s feelings and needs, the greater the chance of harmony and creating a beautiful world. Every empath knows that love, mercy and hope are the divine qualities that keep our world running.

But sometimes empathy is what slowly and silently kills us. Being a people-pleaser takes its toll. It is tiring to be polite to people who take your love for granted and treat you like a doormat. It is painful to care for someone unconditionally and feel the thorn of betrayal or insensitivity. It kills when your empathy, instead of being reciprocated, is repaid with negative energy.

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Letting other people take advantage of our kindness is a trap we empaths often fall into. But there’s a simple way to get out of it. You do not need to change your personality into someone who is harsh and rude. You do not need to swap your soft and beautiful heart for a heart of stone. You do not need to compromise your ethics or beliefs at all.

Instead, you need to direct all that love and kindness and care that can change the world at yourself, at your needs and desires. And the easiest way to do this and emerge mentally and physically healthy is to erect firm boundaries. You need to realize that to make this world a better place, you need to be perfectly fit, happy and satisfied. You need to prioritize your needs in order to remain in good shape and high spirits. By doing this, you create a positive and uplifting frame of mind that allows you to function better  and be attune to other people’s needs.

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In short, you need to take care of yourself, to take care of the world. 

These are some of the boundaries you can set to protect yourself from negative energy and emerge healthier and more empathetic than before.

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1. Learn to say no

Learn to say no, especially to those who don’t value your time or respect you. Even if you feel duty-bound to help that person, remember that it is you and your needs that must always come first. Ask yourself: if I’m sick, how will I help those who need me? Politely reject people when the going gets tough. Take on fewer responsibilities.

2. Trust your gut

Keep an eye out for those energy-suckers who always sulk and find reasons to complain. Listen to your heart. If something doesn’t feel right, leave immediately. If you feel someone is trying to take advantage of you, dissociate yourself instead of making up an excuse for them.

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3. Take a break

Go on regular holidays, shopping sprees and detoxes. If you’re overworking, take the next weekend off and go for a long drive, even if you have made some prior commitments. Find a hobby that recharges your spirits and helps you to think out of the box and assess situations objectively. Every once in while, take a well-deserved break and–for goodness sake–do not apologize or feel guilty for enjoying yourself.

4. Heal yourself with self-love

It all boils down to this. Be more selfish, and less selfless and realize that there’s nothing wrong in doing so. Schedule some ‘me time’ for yourself, every single day, and guard it zealously from energy-suckers. Pamper yourself with treats–whether it’s indulging in Swiss chocolate, going for a bath with essential oils and aroma candles, or simply being in the moment and feeling beautiful for being who you are.

What are you waiting for? Share these tips with your wonderful empath friends and help create the beautiful world that you dream of!

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Archita Mittra

wordsmith, graphic designer, ideator, creative consultant, full time freelancer

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Last Updated on October 16, 2019

5 Powerful Ways for Building Fulfilling Relationships

5 Powerful Ways for Building Fulfilling Relationships

We all have relationships. We have acquaintances, relatives, colleagues, neighbors and friends. However, for a large percentage of us, many of these relationships are not fulfilling.

They are unfulfilling because they lack real strength; and they lack real strength because they lack real depth.

Unfortunately, in today’s society, we tend to have shallow, superficial relationships with others, and it’s extremely hard for this kind of relationships to provide anything more than faint satisfaction.

I’d like to show you, based on my experience as a communication and confidence coach, how you can add a significant amount of depth, and thus strength, to your relationships and make your social life a whole lot more meaningful.

Here’re 5 simple yet powerful ways for meaningful relationships building:

1. Meet More People

This is an apparent paradox, but the quality of the people you meet has considerably to do with the quantity of people you meet.

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If you don’t know a lot of people and you barely meet one or two new people every season of the year, considering the variety of individuals out there, you won’t meet very often people who are a good match with you in terms of personality, interests and values.

And since this natural match plays a huge part in building strong relationships, you’ll just as seldom have the opportunity to develop strong relationships.

Conversely, if you go out a lot, you meet a lot of new people and you constantly expand your social circle, you’re much more likely to meet people you match up well with, and these people have a tremendous potential to become good friends, reliable partners, etc.

This is why it’s important to meet more people.

2. Talk about the Things That Matter To You

A relationship becomes the strongest when two people discover they believe in the same things and have similar interests. It’s these commonalities regarding values and interests that create the strongest emotional connection.

I’ve noticed that many people keep conversations shallow. They talk about trivial stuff such as the weather, what’s on TV, the lives of various movie stars, but they rarely talk about what really matters to them in life. This is a mistake from my perspective, because it’s the perfect method for a relationship to not develop.

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Talk about the things that truly matter to you and give others a chance to know what you care about and what you believe in. If they believe in the same things and they care about the same things, they’ll eagerly let you know. Thus you’ll find meaningful common ground and you’ll feel more connected.

3. Express Vulnerability

Many people try to come off as perfect. They don’t talk about their failures, they hide their shortcomings and they never say anything that could embarrass them.

This is all just a facade though. You may appear perfect to some, but you know you’re not perfect and they know that too. You’re only human and humans have flaws.

However, by hiding your flaws, what you do succeed in is appearing cold and impersonal. You seem like a marble statue rather than a real person. And this makes it very hard for anyone to connect with you emotionally.

Humans connect with other humans, not with ideals. Keep this in mind and don’t be afraid to let your vulnerability and your humanity show. This is what takes a relationship to the next level.

Take a look at this article and find out Why Showing Vulnerability Actually Proves Your Strength.

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4. Have Integrity

Integrity, as I see it, is the alignment between your thoughts, your words and your actions. When you say what you think and you do what you said you’ll do, you have integrity.

This is a crucial trait because if you have integrity, people can trust you. They can trust you to give them an honest feedback, even when it’s hard to shallow, and they can trust you to keep your promises.

This trust is one of the central pillars of a strong relationship, both in your personal and your professional life. So, as challenging as it can be sometimes, always try to have integrity.

Be honest with the people around you, even when this will initially hurt them. It’s more important for them to trust you than to not feel hurt. And always do what you promised. Even better, think twice before you promise anything, and only promise what you really can and you are willing to do.

5. Be There for Others

Another central pillar of strong relationships is support. Connections between people grow sturdy if they can rely on each other for support when it’s needed, whether that support means a few kind words or several massive actions.

Of course, you can’t be there for everybody, all the time. Your time, energy and other resources are limited. But what you can do is identify the genuinely important people in your life and then seek to be there as much as possible, at least for them.

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Your support will help them practically, and it will comfort them emotionally; which makes one hell of a difference in a relationship.

The Bottom Line

With the right mindset and the right behavior, you can strengthen a wide range of relationships in your life and advance them as far as they can be advanced.

And with strong relationships, not only that you feel more fulfilled, but you feel more connected to the entire world. You feel that your life has real value, you have more fun and you live in the moment. An entire world of opportunities opens up in front of you.

Then your task is to simply walk through the open doors.

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Featured photo credit: Proxyclick Visitor Management System via unsplash.com

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