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5 Steps to a Zen Commute

5 Steps to a Zen Commute

“I love sitting in traffic,” said no one ever.

You have to get from A to B, B to C, and C to D. You need to get groceries, go to work, get to the gym, and maybe you would like to go out for a drink. Let’s face it – most of the time that involves getting into your car. And if you live in a big city, more often than not, it also involves traffic. How can you make that time less stressful and more zen?

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Here are 5 tips:

1. Listen to an audio book.

How often do you complain that you do not have enough time to read? How much time do you spend in the car? Why not use this time to check a book off your to-do list, or learn about something new that interests you? Here’s the best part: the library. The library has hundreds of audiobooks to be checked out – for free! When you have an audio CD, it automatically stops and starts up again when you get in and out of your car. No playing around with your cell phone, no problems if you are in a rush and cannot find where you left off last. Audio CDs make it simple and efficient to listen to in the car. You’ll be surprised when you find yourself nodding in agreement with your latest self-help book, or laughing out loud to a celebrity autobiography. Your commute goes by faster, and it does not feel like you are just sitting in your car wasting time.

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2. Find your calm.

What symbolizes calm to you? Find a small object or picture that reminds you of calm: a picture of a beach, a pinecone, a flower, a pebble, or a picture of your family. Whatever it is, hang it from your mirror or place it somewhere close to you. When you are feeling overwhelmed, take a moment to hold your calming object. Reconnect with your breath. Change your perspective and realize that change is the only constant in our lives, and this frustrating or exhausting experience will end. Make the choice to breathe. You do not have to judge yourself or change how you are feeling. Just breathe. Yes, you would probably like to be anywhere but in your car, but here you are. How can you connect with this moment?

3. Be grateful.

When you find yourself slipping down the slope of self-pity, begin to list all the things in your life you are thankful for. If you are on your way to work, that means you have a job, and that is something to be grateful for. If you are headed to pick up your kid, they will probably tell you a funny story on the way home and make you laugh. If you are headed to the grocery store, it means you have money to put food on the table. Begin to focus on and appreciate all the wonderful things you have in your life, and realizing that extra time in the car is sometimes just a price we pay for living wonderful, full lives.

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4. Practice positivity.

Stuck in traffic? Look around you at all the people who are also in the same spot. This is the best way to get out of the movie scene you have created for yourself in your head. Wish them a safe commute. Wish for their health and happiness. Send them good vibes and you will also start to feel better. The good energy you send out will come back to you.

5. Visualize.

Use your commute to visualize your day. How do you see it going? What challenges do you foresee, and how can you handle them with grace? What choices will you face? Use your time in the car to manifest the day you want.

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Featured photo credit: www.picjumbo.com via picjumbo.com

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Last Updated on November 28, 2018

Why Do I Have Bad Luck? 2 Simple Things to Change Your Destiny

Why Do I Have Bad Luck? 2 Simple Things to Change Your Destiny

Are you one of those people who are always suffering setbacks? Does little ever seem to go right for you? Do you sometimes feel that the universe is out to get you? Do you wonder:

Why do I have bad luck? Is bad luck real?

A couple of months ago, I met up with an old friend of mine who I hadn’t seen since last year. Over lunch, we talked about all kinds of things, including our careers, relationships and hobbies.

My friend told me his job had become dull and uninteresting to him, and despite applying for promotion – he’d been turned down. His personal life wasn’t great either, as he told me that he’d recently separated from his long-term girlfriend.

When I asked him why things had seemingly gone wrong at home and work, he paused for a moment, and then replied:

“I’m having a run of bad luck.”

I was surprised by his response as I’d never thought of him as someone who thought that luck controlled his life. He always appeared to be someone who knew what he wanted – and went after it with gusto.

He told me he did believe in bad luck because of everything happened to me.

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It was at this point, that I shared my opinion on luck and destiny:

While chance events certainly occur, they are purely random in nature. In other words, good luck and bad luck don’t exist in the way that people believe. And more importantly, even if random negative events do come along, our perspective and reaction can turn them into positive things.

Your luck is no worse—and no better—than anyone else’s. It just feels that way. Better still, there are two simple things you can do which will reverse your feelings of being unlucky and change your luck.

1. Stop believing that what happens in life is out of your control.

Stop believing that what happens in your life is down to the vagaries of luck, destiny, supernatural forces, malevolent other people, or anything else outside yourself.

Psychologists call this “external locus of control.” It’s a kind of fatalism, where people believe that they can do little or nothing personally to change their lives.

Because of this, they either merely hope for the best, focus on trying to change their luck by various kinds of superstition, or submit passively to whatever comes—while complaining that it doesn’t match their hopes.

Most successful people take the opposite view. They have “internal locus of control.” They believe that what happens in their life is nearly all down to them; and that even when chance events occur, what is important is not the event itself, but how you respond to it.

This makes them pro-active, engaged, ready to try new things, and keen to find the means to change whatever in their lives they don’t like.

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They aren’t fatalistic and they don’t blame bad luck for what isn’t right in their world. They look for a way to make things better.

Are they luckier than the others? Of course not.

Luck is random—that’s what chance means—so they are just as likely to suffer setbacks as anyone else.

What’s different is their response. When things go wrong, they quickly look for ways to put them right. They don’t whine, pity themselves, or complain about “bad luck.” They try to learn from what happened to avoid or correct it next time and get on with living their life as best they can. They have this Motivation Engine, which most people lack, to keep them going.

No one is habitually luckier or unluckier than anyone else. It may seem so, over the short term (Random events often come in groups, just as random numbers often lie close together for several instances—which is why gamblers tend to see patterns where none exist).

When you take a longer perspective, random chance is just . . . random. Yet those who feel that they are less lucky, typically pay far more attention to short-term instances of bad luck, convincing themselves of the correctness of their belief.

Your locus of control isn’t genetic. You learned it somehow. If it isn’t working for you, change it.

2. Remember that whatever you pay attention to grows in your mind.

If you focus on what’s going wrong in your life—especially if you see it as “bad luck” you can do nothing about—it will seem blacker and more malevolent.

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In a short time, you’ll become so convinced that everything is against you that you’ll notice more and more instances where this appears to be true. As a result, you will drown yourself in negative energy and almost certainly stop trying, convinced that nothing you can do will improve your prospects.

Not long ago, a reader (I’ll call her Kelly) has shared with me about how frustrated she felt and how unlucky she was. Kelly’s an aspiring entrepreneur. She had been trying to find investors to invest in her project. It hadn’t been going well as she was always rejected by the potential investors. And at her most stressful time, her boyfriend broke up with her. And the day after her breakup, she missed an important opportunity to meet an interested investor. She was about to give up because she felt that she’d not be lucky enough to build her business successfully.

It definitely wasn’t an easy time for her. She was stressful and tired. But it wasn’t bad luck that was playing the role.

Fatalism feeds on itself until people become passive “victims” of life’s blows. The “losers” in life are those who are convinced they will fail before they start anything; sure that their “bad luck” will ruin any prospects of success.

They rarely notice that the true reasons for their failure are ignorance, laziness, lack of skill, lack of forethought, or just plain foolishness—all of which they could do something to correct, if only they would stop blaming other people or “bad luck” for their personal deficiencies.

Your attention is under your control. Send it where you want it to go. Starve the negative thoughts until they die.

I explained to Kelly that to improve her fortune and have “good luck”, first decide that what happens is nearly always down to her; then try to focus on what works and what turns out well, not the bad stuff.

Then Kelly tried to review her current situation objectively. She realized that she only needed a short break for herself — from work and her just broken-up relationship. She really needed some time to clear up her mind before moving on with her work and life. When she got her emotions settled down from her heartbreak, she started to work on improving her business’ selling points and looked for new investors that are more suitable.

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A few months later, she told me that she finally found two investors who were really interested in her project and would like to work with her to grow the business. I was really glad that she could take back control of her destiny and achieved what she wanted.

Your “fate” really does depend on the choices that you make. When random events happen, as they always will, do you choose to try to turn them to your advantage or just complain about them?

What’s Next?

Now that you’ve learned the 2 simple things you can do to take control of your fate and create your own luck. But this isn’t it! These simple techniques you’ve learned here are just part of the essential 7 Cornerstone Skills — a skillset that will give you the power to create permanent solutions to big problems in life — any problem in any area of your life!

If you think you’re “suffering from bad luck”, you can really change things up and start life over with these 7 Cornerstone Skills. It may even be a lot easier than you thought:

How to Start Over and Reboot Your Life When It Seems Too Late

Thomas Jefferson is said to have used these words:

“I’m a great believer in luck and I find the harder I work, the more I have of it.”

Your luck, in the end, is pretty much what you choose it to be.

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Featured photo credit: LoboStudio Hamburg via unsplash.com

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