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6 Love Lessons I Learnt From My Mother

6 Love Lessons I Learnt From My Mother

My parents separated when I was just 15 after a turbulent marriage. To say divorce was the best thing for them is an understatement. While my father flung himself head first into a rebound fling that later resulted in another marriage, my mother took a higher approach, she set off into the world and she found herself.

Maybe it was my young impressionable age or my parents drastically different approaches to life and love that influenced me; but as the older I’ve got, the more I’ve seemed to admire my mum’s non tolerance to bullshit in relationships. To date, she taught me some of the most valuable lessons I could have ever learnt when it comes to matters of the heart. Here are 6 love lessons I learnt from my mother.

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1. You Deserve The Best

Like most mothers do, mine is constantly telling me I deserve everything in the world, and this is extremely important to remember in love. She worked hard to teach me and my brothers that we deserve nothing but the best, from education, to what to expect in a partner. If someone isn’t realizing your true value and honoring it, then kindly show them the door. Once you realize your own self worth and how important you really are, you will attract someone who also shares this value.

2. You Can Leave at Any Time

Maybe it was the divorce that prompt this. But life is too short to stay in an unhappy relationship. Life is supposed to be about happiness, joy, and laughter. Not misery. There’s no magic spell for happiness but the easiest way to stop being unhappy, is to cut the unhappiness out of your life. There is no excuse, nothing is holding you back but yourself. If you aren’t happy, then change it. It’s as simple as that.

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3. Love Yourself First

Watching my mum be by herself for so many years and refusing to settle into a relationship for the sake of it, showed me the true potential of an independent woman. She changed her career, got a degree, and made a life for herself away from a relationship status. She rediscovered herself outside of marriage and it was truly inspirational. It taught me that you have to be comfortable and happy in your own skin, with your own life, and then focus on your romantic pursuits. Because all else will fail if you aren’t truly happy with yourself first.

4. Don’t Forget Everyone Else

From the minute I turned 13, she drilled into my head.

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“Boys may come and go but friends will stay forever.”

And it’s true. Many of time I’ve thought I’ve found the one, only for it to end in disaster and have myself thank my lucky stars, I still had my family and friends by my side. There’s no reason to ever lose contact with anyone else in your life because you’ve found a relationship, some loves of our lives can be temporary, and it’s not worth losing our family and friends over them.

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5. Never Settle

If he doesn’t give you butterflies, if he doesn’t treat you well, if he isn’t honest or kind, don’t settle. Don’t make yourself excuses or bargain with yourself for the sake of a relationship. Never settle for anything less than what you want and deserve. If you want someone who calls you, kisses you goodnight, and likes to visit your family, then don’t settle for someone who won’t do this. Go out there and find your perfect package, because within reason it is possible and there’s no need to settle for anything less.

6. Money Doesn’t Matter

There’s a famous saying in our house, “I’d rather share a can of baked beans with someone I love, than have a five course dinner in Paris with someone I didn’t.” And it’s something I truly believe in. Money isn’t everything in life. It’s the people who matter most, someone can buy you the world but that will not buy you love and affection. It taught me to be humble, to appreciate people, and not to be materialistic. Money can’t buy happiness and it certainly can’t buy love.

Featured photo credit: Flickr via flickr.com

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6 Love Lessons I Learnt From My Mother

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Last Updated on February 17, 2020

5 Reasons Why You Should Always Be Who You Are

5 Reasons Why You Should Always Be Who You Are

When it comes to being yourself, there can be a lot of pressure from the outside world as it tries to influence who you are. Living in a society that is constantly developing, it’s important for you to always be yourself from the inside out.

When you deeply know yourself and the boundaries that you have set, you are more likely to experience a fulfilling and rewarding life. Without knowing yourself and establishing those boundaries, you can easily be pushed around and end up on a dirt path.

So how to be who you are and always be yourself?

“Enter through the narrow gate. For wide is the gate and broad is the road that leads to destruction, and many enter through it. But small is the gate and narrow the road that leads to life, and only a few find it” – Matthew 7:13-14

You have the option of taking the path that is broad or taking the path that is narrow. You can either conform to what life wants you to be, or have the courage to remain true to yourself throughout the years. It’s definitely a challenge to have a strong sense of self when we are constantly getting distracted and being influenced by the media and society’s way of life. But if you want to reach your fullest potential in life, it all starts with being yourself.

Why should you always be yourself? Because you will:

1. Live in Alignment With Your Values and Beliefs

Being yourself is all about knowing what you believe in and the values that you live by. When you are not yourself, you will take on the values and beliefs of others. This is when you start conforming to other people’s expectations and way of thinking.

When you know your values and why you do what you do, you will live according to your own values and beliefs.

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2. Establish Your Own Identity

When you are able to have a solid foundation of being you, you are establishing your own sense of identity. No matter what happens in your life, you will always know who you are.

There will be times where you may feel lost or distracted, but if you have your own identity you’ll be able to get back on the right path. Without establishing your own identity, you may easily conform and lose yourself.

3. Build Courage

It takes a great amount of courage when you decide to take the path that goes against the crowd. The reason why the majority of people take the broad path is because it’s easy.

It’s easy to just follow the crowd. It’s more of a challenge when you stay true to yourself and establish your own identity. This challenge of always being yourself takes courage and inner strength. No matter what comes your way, you’ll know how to handle it.

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4. Establish Boundaries

When you are always yourself, you know what your limits are and the boundaries that you have set for yourself. When people cross your boundaries, you will know.

But if you don’t establish boundaries, people may very well walk all over you and take advantage of you. If you are always yourself and you establish boundaries, you are more likely to be aware when people start taking advantage of you.

Create and establish your boundaries.

5. Find Focus and Direction

When you are always yourself, you are more likely to have focus and direction in your life. Imagine someone who is constantly conforming to other people’s expectations, do you think this person has focus and direction? I don’t think so.

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When you stay true to who you are, you are more likely to know the goals you want to accomplish and how to go about accomplishing them. You are able to stay focused and know which direction to take in order for you to accomplish your goals.

No matter what you experience in life, the only person that will always remain constant is you.

More Tips about Staying True to Yourself

Featured photo credit: María Victoria Heredia Reyes via unsplash.com

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