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The 4 Steps To A Successful Divorce Settlement

The 4 Steps To A Successful Divorce Settlement

As any woman going through a divorce knows, stress and confusion go hand in hand, especially when divorce occurs earlier on in life. Trying to sort through legal and financial matters while also coping with emotional turmoil can easily lead to poor decision making—with costly long-term consequences.

In order to ensure that your divorce proceeds as smoothly as possible, try to adhere to the divorce management strategies outlined below. While there’s no one “right” way to cope with divorce, this time-tested advice will stand you in good stead to start rebuilding your life.

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1. Give yourself time

Many women make the mistake of trying to ignore the conflicting emotions surrounding their divorce by immersing themselves in the many practical tasks that come with organizing a separation. This, however, is a surefire route to burnout and possibly even a breakdown. Instead of trying to take care of everyone and everything else, take care of yourself first. Talk to a trusted friend, a family member, or a counsellor and don’t hesitate to ask for their advice on how you ought to go forward with your life. Objective insight is incredibly valuable when a person is feeling overwhelmed.

2. Choose your legal counsel wisely

Remember, no two law firms are exactly the same; legal professionals have many different areas of expertise, so it’s incredibly important to choose a lawyer who has a strong background in family law. Christine K. Clifford, CEO of Divorcing Divas, learned this the hard way: “I used a criminal attorney,” says Clifford, “and got a poor settlement.”

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Conversely, a lawyer who’s well-versed in the ins and outs of family law is likely to get you a better settlement than you expect; he or she will understand the complexities of the laws in your area, as well as being familiar with local judges and lawyers. Tim Moynahan, a Family Lawyer in Waterbury, CT reminds us that “You should be aware that if you and your partner have a long list of combined assets, you may need additional legal aid, e.g. from a financial planner”.

3. When you’re ready, gather all of the relevant financial information you can find

According to financial analyst and divorcee advocate Sandy Arons, fully 40% of divorce proceedings revolve around money. Your divorce will therefore go much more smoothly if you accrue as much information as possible about your shared assets and bank accounts before you head to court.

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Jacqueline Newman, a partner at a boutique New York City law firm specializing in divorce, says that you should “Learn all of the online passwords to bank accounts, which accounts had automatic payments and where money is invested, including the names of all accounts, the account numbers and the investment advisors.” Seek advice from your lawyer as you do so and, if possible, also seek the advice of an accountant with a background in handling the financial affairs of divorcing couples.

4. Calculate Future Living Expenses

This tip comes to us from Max Smelyansky, a Family Lawyer in Albany, NY. Max says it’s important to calculate your future living expenses and account for inflation. Once you have assessed your current financial situation with the aid of your lawyer and accountant, the next step is calculating your future living expenses (using your current living expenses as a guide). As divorce financial expert and mediator Rosemary Frank so aptly put it, “Raw emotions will heal and legalities will be completed, but the financial impact of poor decisions, or default decisions due to lack of understanding, will last a lifetime… If you don’t know what you’ll need in the future, you won’t be able to ask for it and you surely won’t get it.”

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Remember, those who fail to plan—and plan with the right professional assistance—plan to fail. If you are currently getting divorced or think you may be divorcing in the future, seek legal and financial counsel as soon as possible.

Featured photo credit: pixabay.com via pixabay.com

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Last Updated on December 2, 2018

How to Flow Your Way to a More Productive Life

How to Flow Your Way to a More Productive Life

Ebb and flow. Contraction and expansion. Highs and lows. It’s all about the cycles of life.

The entire course of our life follows this up and down pattern of more and then less. Our days flow this way, each following a pattern of more energy, then less energy, more creativity and periods of greater focus bookended by moments of low energy when we cringe at the thought of one more meeting, one more call, one more sentence.

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The key is in understanding how to use the cycles of ebb and flow to our advantage. The ability to harness these fluctuations, understand how they affect our productivity and mood and then apply that knowledge as a tool to improve our lives is a valuable strategy that few individuals or corporations have mastered.

Here are a few simple steps to start using this strategy today:

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Review Your Past Flow

Take just a few minutes to look back at how your days and weeks have been unfolding. What time of the day are you the most focused? Do you prefer to be more social at certain times of the day? Do you have difficulty concentrating after lunch or are you energized? Are there days when you can’t seem to sit still at your desk and others when you could work on the same project for hours?

Do you see a pattern starting to emerge? Eventually you will discover a sort of map or schedule that charts your individual productivity levels during a given day or week.  That’s the first step. You’ll use this information to plan your days going forward.

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Schedule According to Your Flow Pattern

Look at the types of things you do each day…each week. What can you move around so that it’s a better fit for you? Can you suggest to your team that you schedule meetings for late morning if you can’t stand to be social first thing? Can you schedule detailed project work or highly creative tasks, like writing or designing when you are best able to focus? How about making sales calls or client meetings on days when you are the most social and leaving billing or reports until another time when you are able to close your door and do repetitive tasks.

Keep in mind that everyone is different and some things are out of our control. Do what you can. You might be surprised at just how flexible clients and managers can be when they understand that improving your productivity will result in better outcomes for them.

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Account for Big Picture Fluctuations

Look at the bigger picture. Consider what happens during different months or times during the year. Think about what is going on in the other parts of your life. When is the best time for you to take on a new project, role or responsibility? Take into account other commitments that zap your energy. Do you have a sick parent, a spouse who travels all the time or young children who demand all of your available time and energy?

We all know people who ignore all of this advice and yet seem to prosper and achieve wonderful success anyway, but they are usually the exception, not the rule. For most of us, this habitual tendency to force our bodies and our brains into patterns of working that undermine our productivity result in achieving less than desired results and adding more stress to our already overburdened lives.

Why not follow the ebb and flow of your life instead of fighting against it?

    Featured photo credit: Nathan Dumlao via unsplash.com

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