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The 4 Steps To A Successful Divorce Settlement

The 4 Steps To A Successful Divorce Settlement

As any woman going through a divorce knows, stress and confusion go hand in hand, especially when divorce occurs earlier on in life. Trying to sort through legal and financial matters while also coping with emotional turmoil can easily lead to poor decision making—with costly long-term consequences.

In order to ensure that your divorce proceeds as smoothly as possible, try to adhere to the divorce management strategies outlined below. While there’s no one “right” way to cope with divorce, this time-tested advice will stand you in good stead to start rebuilding your life.

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1. Give yourself time

Many women make the mistake of trying to ignore the conflicting emotions surrounding their divorce by immersing themselves in the many practical tasks that come with organizing a separation. This, however, is a surefire route to burnout and possibly even a breakdown. Instead of trying to take care of everyone and everything else, take care of yourself first. Talk to a trusted friend, a family member, or a counsellor and don’t hesitate to ask for their advice on how you ought to go forward with your life. Objective insight is incredibly valuable when a person is feeling overwhelmed.

2. Choose your legal counsel wisely

Remember, no two law firms are exactly the same; legal professionals have many different areas of expertise, so it’s incredibly important to choose a lawyer who has a strong background in family law. Christine K. Clifford, CEO of Divorcing Divas, learned this the hard way: “I used a criminal attorney,” says Clifford, “and got a poor settlement.”

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Conversely, a lawyer who’s well-versed in the ins and outs of family law is likely to get you a better settlement than you expect; he or she will understand the complexities of the laws in your area, as well as being familiar with local judges and lawyers. Tim Moynahan, a Family Lawyer in Waterbury, CT reminds us that “You should be aware that if you and your partner have a long list of combined assets, you may need additional legal aid, e.g. from a financial planner”.

3. When you’re ready, gather all of the relevant financial information you can find

According to financial analyst and divorcee advocate Sandy Arons, fully 40% of divorce proceedings revolve around money. Your divorce will therefore go much more smoothly if you accrue as much information as possible about your shared assets and bank accounts before you head to court.

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Jacqueline Newman, a partner at a boutique New York City law firm specializing in divorce, says that you should “Learn all of the online passwords to bank accounts, which accounts had automatic payments and where money is invested, including the names of all accounts, the account numbers and the investment advisors.” Seek advice from your lawyer as you do so and, if possible, also seek the advice of an accountant with a background in handling the financial affairs of divorcing couples.

4. Calculate Future Living Expenses

This tip comes to us from Max Smelyansky, a Family Lawyer in Albany, NY. Max says it’s important to calculate your future living expenses and account for inflation. Once you have assessed your current financial situation with the aid of your lawyer and accountant, the next step is calculating your future living expenses (using your current living expenses as a guide). As divorce financial expert and mediator Rosemary Frank so aptly put it, “Raw emotions will heal and legalities will be completed, but the financial impact of poor decisions, or default decisions due to lack of understanding, will last a lifetime… If you don’t know what you’ll need in the future, you won’t be able to ask for it and you surely won’t get it.”

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Remember, those who fail to plan—and plan with the right professional assistance—plan to fail. If you are currently getting divorced or think you may be divorcing in the future, seek legal and financial counsel as soon as possible.

Featured photo credit: pixabay.com via pixabay.com

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Last Updated on March 13, 2019

How to Get out of a Rut: 12 Useful Ways to Get Unstuck

How to Get out of a Rut: 12 Useful Ways to Get Unstuck

Have you gotten into a rut before? Or are you in a rut right now?

You know you’re in a rut when you run out of ideas and inspiration. I personally see a rut as a productivity vacuum. It might very well be a reason why you aren’t getting results. Even as you spend more time on your work, you can’t seem to get anything constructive done. While I’m normally productive, I get into occasional ruts (especially when I’ve been working back-to-back without rest). During those times, I can spend an entire day in front of the computer and get nothing done. It can be quite frustrating.

Over time, I have tried and found several methods that are helpful to pull me out of a rut. If you experience ruts too, whether as a working professional, a writer, a blogger, a student or other work, you will find these useful. Here are 12 of my personal tips to get out of ruts:

1. Work on the small tasks.

When you are in a rut, tackle it by starting small. Clear away your smaller tasks which have been piling up. Reply to your emails, organize your documents, declutter your work space, and reply to private messages.

Whenever I finish doing that, I generate a positive momentum which I bring forward to my work.

2. Take a break from your work desk.

Get yourself away from your desk and go take a walk. Go to the washroom, walk around the office, go out and get a snack.

Your mind is too bogged down and needs some airing. Sometimes I get new ideas right after I walk away from my computer.

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3. Upgrade yourself

Take the down time to upgrade yourself. Go to a seminar. Read up on new materials (#7). Pick up a new language. Or any of the 42 ways here to improve yourself.

The modern computer uses different typefaces because Steve Jobs dropped in on a calligraphy class back in college. How’s that for inspiration?

4. Talk to a friend.

Talk to someone and get your mind off work for a while.

Talk about anything, from casual chatting to a deep conversation about something you really care about. You will be surprised at how the short encounter can be rejuvenating in its own way.

5. Forget about trying to be perfect.

If you are in a rut, the last thing you want to do is step on your own toes with perfectionist tendencies.

Just start small. Do what you can, at your own pace. Let yourself make mistakes.

Soon, a little trickle of inspiration will come. And then it’ll build up with more trickles. Before you know it, you have a whole stream of ideas.

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6. Paint a vision to work towards.

If you are continuously getting in a rut with your work, maybe there’s no vision inspiring you to move forward.

Think about why you are doing this, and what you are doing it for. What is the end vision in mind?

Make it as vivid as possible. Make sure it’s a vision that inspires you and use that to trigger you to action.

7. Read a book (or blog).

The things we read are like food to our brain. If you are out of ideas, it’s time to feed your brain with great materials.

Here’s a list of 40 books you can start off with. Stock your browser with only the feeds of high quality blogs, such as Lifehack.org, DumbLittleMan, Seth Godin’s Blog, Tim Ferris’ Blog, Zen Habits or The Personal Excellence Blog.

Check out the best selling books; those are generally packed with great wisdom.

8. Have a quick nap.

If you are at home, take a quick nap for about 20-30 minutes. This clears up your mind and gives you a quick boost. Nothing quite like starting off on a fresh start after catching up on sleep.

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9. Remember why you are doing this.

Sometimes we lose sight of why we do what we do, and after a while we become jaded. A quick refresher on why you even started on this project will help.

What were you thinking when you thought of doing this? Retrace your thoughts back to that moment. Recall why you are doing this. Then reconnect with your muse.

10. Find some competition.

Nothing quite like healthy competition to spur us forward. If you are out of ideas, then check up on what people are doing in your space.

Colleagues at work, competitors in the industry, competitors’ products and websites, networking conventions.. you get the drill.

11. Go exercise.

Since you are not making headway at work, might as well spend the time shaping yourself up.

Sometimes we work so much that we neglect our health and fitness. Go jog, swim, cycle, whichever exercise you prefer.

As you improve your physical health, your mental health will improve, too. The different facets of ourselves are all interlinked.

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Here’re 15 Tips to Restart the Exercise Habit (and How to Keep It).

12. Take a good break.

Ruts are usually signs that you have been working too long and too hard. It’s time to get a break.

Beyond the quick tips above, arrange for a 1-day or 2-days of break from your work. Don’t check your (work) emails or do anything work-related. Relax and do your favorite activities. You will return to your work recharged and ready to start.

Contrary to popular belief, the world will not end from taking a break from your work. In fact, you will be much more ready to make an impact after proper rest. My best ideas and inspiration always hit me whenever I’m away from my work.

Take a look at this to learn the importance of rest: The Importance of Scheduling Downtime

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Featured photo credit: Joshua Earle via unsplash.com

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