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The 4 Steps To A Successful Divorce Settlement

The 4 Steps To A Successful Divorce Settlement

As any woman going through a divorce knows, stress and confusion go hand in hand, especially when divorce occurs earlier on in life. Trying to sort through legal and financial matters while also coping with emotional turmoil can easily lead to poor decision making—with costly long-term consequences.

In order to ensure that your divorce proceeds as smoothly as possible, try to adhere to the divorce management strategies outlined below. While there’s no one “right” way to cope with divorce, this time-tested advice will stand you in good stead to start rebuilding your life.

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1. Give yourself time

Many women make the mistake of trying to ignore the conflicting emotions surrounding their divorce by immersing themselves in the many practical tasks that come with organizing a separation. This, however, is a surefire route to burnout and possibly even a breakdown. Instead of trying to take care of everyone and everything else, take care of yourself first. Talk to a trusted friend, a family member, or a counsellor and don’t hesitate to ask for their advice on how you ought to go forward with your life. Objective insight is incredibly valuable when a person is feeling overwhelmed.

2. Choose your legal counsel wisely

Remember, no two law firms are exactly the same; legal professionals have many different areas of expertise, so it’s incredibly important to choose a lawyer who has a strong background in family law. Christine K. Clifford, CEO of Divorcing Divas, learned this the hard way: “I used a criminal attorney,” says Clifford, “and got a poor settlement.”

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Conversely, a lawyer who’s well-versed in the ins and outs of family law is likely to get you a better settlement than you expect; he or she will understand the complexities of the laws in your area, as well as being familiar with local judges and lawyers. Tim Moynahan, a Family Lawyer in Waterbury, CT reminds us that “You should be aware that if you and your partner have a long list of combined assets, you may need additional legal aid, e.g. from a financial planner”.

3. When you’re ready, gather all of the relevant financial information you can find

According to financial analyst and divorcee advocate Sandy Arons, fully 40% of divorce proceedings revolve around money. Your divorce will therefore go much more smoothly if you accrue as much information as possible about your shared assets and bank accounts before you head to court.

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Jacqueline Newman, a partner at a boutique New York City law firm specializing in divorce, says that you should “Learn all of the online passwords to bank accounts, which accounts had automatic payments and where money is invested, including the names of all accounts, the account numbers and the investment advisors.” Seek advice from your lawyer as you do so and, if possible, also seek the advice of an accountant with a background in handling the financial affairs of divorcing couples.

4. Calculate Future Living Expenses

This tip comes to us from Max Smelyansky, a Family Lawyer in Albany, NY. Max says it’s important to calculate your future living expenses and account for inflation. Once you have assessed your current financial situation with the aid of your lawyer and accountant, the next step is calculating your future living expenses (using your current living expenses as a guide). As divorce financial expert and mediator Rosemary Frank so aptly put it, “Raw emotions will heal and legalities will be completed, but the financial impact of poor decisions, or default decisions due to lack of understanding, will last a lifetime… If you don’t know what you’ll need in the future, you won’t be able to ask for it and you surely won’t get it.”

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Remember, those who fail to plan—and plan with the right professional assistance—plan to fail. If you are currently getting divorced or think you may be divorcing in the future, seek legal and financial counsel as soon as possible.

Featured photo credit: pixabay.com via pixabay.com

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Last Updated on December 9, 2019

5 Simple Ways to Relieve Stress Effectively

5 Simple Ways to Relieve Stress Effectively

Everyone experiences mental stress at one time or another. Maybe you’re starting a new career, job, or business, or you feel incredibly overwhelmed between work, parenting, and your love life (or a lack of it). It could even be that you simply feel that you have way too much to do and not enough time to do it,  plus, on top of everything, nothing seems to be going the way it should!

Yup, we all experience mental stress from time-to-time, and that’s okay as long as you have the tools, techniques and knowledge that allow you to fully relieve it once it comes.

Here are 5 tips for relieving mental stress when it comes so you can function at your best while feeling good (and doing well) in work, love, or life:

1. Get Rationally Optimistic

Mental stress starts with your perception of your experiences. For instance, most people get stressed out when they perceive their reality as “being wrong” in some way. Essentially, they have a set idea of how things “should be” at any given moment, and when reality ends up being different (not even necessarily bad), they get stressed.

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This process is simply a result of perception and can be easily “fixed” by recognizing that although life might not always be going as YOU think it should, it’s still going as it should—for your own benefit.

In fact, once you fully recognize that everything in your life ultimately happens for your own growth, progress, and development—so you can achieve your goals and dreams—your perception works in your favor. You soon process and respond to your experience of life differently, for your advantage. That’s the essence of becoming “rationally optimistic.”

The result: no more mental stress.

2. Unplug

Just like you might need to unplug your computer when it starts acting all crazy, you should also “unplug” your mind.

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How on earth do you unplug your mind? Simple: just meditate.

It isn’t nearly difficult or complicated as some people think, so, if you don’t already meditate, give it a try. Whether you meditate for 5 minutes, 30 minutes, or 2 hours, this is a surefire way to reduce mental stress.

Meditation has been scientifically proven to relax your body (resulting in less mental stress), while also reducing anxiety and high blood pressure.

3. Easy on the Caffeine

Yes, we know, we know—everyone loves a nice java buzz, and that’s okay, but there’s a fine line between a small caffeine pick-me-up and a racing heart and mind that throws you into a frenzy of mental stress.

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Try giving up caffeine for a while and see how you feel. And, if that’s completely out of the question for you, at least try to minimize it. You might find that lots of your mental stress mysteriously “disappears” as your caffeine intake goes down.

4. Attack Mental Stress Via the Back Door

That’s right: your body and mind are part of the whole being, and are constantly influencing and affecting each other. If you’re experiencing a lot of mental stress, try to reduce it by calming your body down—a calm body equals a calmer mind.

How do you calm your body down and reduce physical stress? A  great way to reduce physical stress (thereby reducing mental stress) is to take natural supplements that are proven to reduce stress and anxiety while lifting your mood. Three good ones to look into are kava-kava, St John’s wort, and rhodiola rosea:

  • Kava-kava is a natural plant known to have mild sedative properties, and you should be able to find it at your natural health food store or vitamin store. It’s available in capsules or liquid extract form.
  • St John’s wort is a natural flower used to treat depression. Again, it’s found at your local health store in capsules or liquid. Because it uplifts mood (enabling you to see the brighter side of all experiences) it helps relieve mental stress as well.
  • Rhodiola rosea is a natural plant shown to reduce stress and uplift mood, and Russian athletes have been using it forever. Like the other two supplements mentioned, rhodiola rosea can be found at your natural health store in capsule or liquid form.

While these supplements are all natural and can be very helpful for most people, always check with your health care provider first as they can cause side-effects depending on your current health situation etc.

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5. Good Old-Fashioned Exercise

This tip has been around forever because it works. Nothing relieves mental stress like running, kickboxing—you name it. Anything super-physical will wipe out most of your mental stresses once the exercise endorphins (happy chemicals) are released into your brain.

The result: mental stress will be gone!

So, if you’re feeling overwhelmed or just plain stressed, try using some of the above tips. You can even print this out or save it to refer to regularly.

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