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Never Settle in Your Quest for Love. You Deserve More.

Never Settle in Your Quest for Love. You Deserve More.

I will never let fear guide me in my search for love and make me accept anything less that the real thing. Instead, I will trust myself and listen to my heart, because there lay all the answers. No logic can explain how love happens; even though we try to put it in scientific terms, it defies logical laws. It can only be felt. Therefore, I will let love guide me and trust the process of life, instead of trying to rush it by settling for an unfulfilling relationship for fear of being alone or not going through important milestones “on time.”

I’ve learned my lessons.

I will not let my past cloud over my present and future. Instead, I will use my past experiences as a reminder of how much I have grown and how well I am doing in becoming my best version. I won’t dwell on times gone by and choices made — I’ll let them make me better, not bitter. So, I’ve sifted and sorted through my past in order to collect what I’ve learned about myself, and about love, and I’ve chosen what to let go of, and what will drive me to keep going.

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I’ve let go of blaming and criticizing myself and anyone else. I’ve realized what someone else is doing and thinking is perfectly fine. Everyone is right in their own realm, and each of us has a unique path and purpose to fulfil. Therefore, I find parting as a relief instead as a reason for sorrow because it helped me learn more, and it brought more clarity to my definition of love. I cherish each past experience as I am grateful for each lesson I have learned (some of them repeatedly).

I refuse to get pressured into unfulfilling relationships.

Now, I can truly enjoy being single and rest assured that I’m always on the right path. I won’t let myself get caught in the trap of settling for the wrong relationship just to get “figured out.” I deserve more than that. We all do.

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We have to love ourselves enough to let our hearts be louder than our brains. Only then will we let ourselves allow the love to find us. I will make room for love, by cleaning my heart from past sorrows, wrong beliefs, fears, blame, jealousy, worry, lies, and everything love is not. I’ve used my time alone to distinguish between the true desires of my heart and the ones of others I’ve unconsciously picked up along the way. We owe it to ourselves never to let any other person take up all of our time no matter how much we love each other. So, I’m making a promise to myself that I will make time every day to work on myself by doing things I enjoy and improving myself.

We all deserve the love that is kind, compassionate, caring, understanding, appreciating, believing, core-shaking, forward-looking, honest, and eternal. Therefore, I refuse to settle for anything less.

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I won’t settle for love that is quantifiable and conditional, for love that demands or begs, or for unfulfilling conversations and cold embraces. Each and every one of us cannot accept blind pursuits governed only by a physical desire, for we know better. We don’t need explanation nor reason to love.

I won’t force love.

I will not turn my quest for love into a struggle to get it by all means. I want to enjoy every step of the way. By realizing that love starts and grows within us, we understand that to ask for it would mean we don’t have enough of it within ourselves. Only by giving more do we have it returned multiplied. Our quest should not be governed by the need to find someone to complete us, someone who wants to lose themselves by looking into our eyes. We would much rather hold each other’s hand and look in the same direction as we grow together.

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No, I won’t settle for less. And neither should you.

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Ana Erkic

Social Media Consultant, Online Marketing Strategist, Copywriter, CEO and Co-Founder of Growato

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Last Updated on December 10, 2019

5 Smart Reasons to Start Journal Writing Today

5 Smart Reasons to Start Journal Writing Today

Here’s the truth: your effectiveness at life is not what it could be. You’re missing out.

Each day passes by and you have nothing to prove that it even happened. Did you achieve something? Go on a date? Have an emotional breakthrough? Who knows?

But what you do know is that you don’t want to make the same mistakes that you’ve made in the past.

Our lives are full of hidden gems of knowledge and insight, and the most recent events in our lives contain the most useful gems of all. Do you know why? It’s simple, those hidden lessons are the most up to date, meaning they have the largest impact on what we’re doing right now.

But the question is, how do you get those lessons? There’s a simple way to do it, and it doesn’t involve time machines:

Journal writing.

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Improved mental clarity, the ability to see our lives in the big picture, as well as serving as a piece of evidence cataloguing every success we’ve ever had; we are provided all of the above and more by doing some journal writing.

Journal writing is a useful and flexible tool to help shed light on achieving your goals.

Here’s 5 smart reasons why you should do journal writing:

1. Journals Help You Have a Better Connection with Your Values, Emotions, and Goals

By journaling about what you believe in, why you believe it, how you feel, and what your goals are, you understand your relationships with these things better. This is because you must sort through the mental clutter and provide details on why you do what you do and feel what you feel.

Consider this:

Perhaps you’ve spent the last year or so working at a job you don’t like. It would be easy to just suck it up and keep working with your head down, going on as if it’s supposed to be normal to not like your job. Nobody else is complaining, so why should you, right?

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But a little journal writing will set things straight for you. You don’t like your job. You feel like it’s robbing you of happiness and satisfaction, and you don’t see yourself better there in the future.

The other workers? Maybe they don’t know, maybe they don’t care. But you do, you know and care enough to do something about it. And you’re capable of fixing this problem because your journal writing allows you to finally be honest with yourself about it.

2. Journals Improve Mental Clarity and Help Improve Your Focus

If there’s one thing journal writing is good for, it’s clearing the mental clutter.

How does it work? Simply, whenever you have a problem and write about it in a journal, you transfer the problem from your head to the paper. This empties the mind, allowing allocation of precious resources to problem-solving rather than problem-storing.

Let’s say you’ve been juggling several tasks at work. You’ve got data entry, testing, e-mails, problems with the boss, and so on—enough to overwhelm you—but as you start journal writing, things become clearer and easier to understand: Data entry can actually wait till Thursday; Bill kindly offered earlier to do my testing; For e-mails, I can check them now; the boss is just upset because Becky called in sick, etc.

You become better able to focus and reason your tasks out, and this is an indispensable and useful skill to have.

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3. Journals Improve Insight and Understanding

As a positive consequence of improving your mental clarity, you become more open to insights you may have missed before. As you write your notes out, you’re essentially having a dialogue with yourself. This draws out insights that you would have missed otherwise; it’s almost as if two people are working together to better understand each other. This kind of insight is only available to the person who has taken the time to connect with and understand themselves in the form of writing.

Once you’ve gotten a few entries written down, new insights can be gleaned from reading over them. What themes do you see in your life? Do you keep switching goals halfway through? Are you constantly dating the same type of people who aren’t good for you? Have you slowly but surely pushed people out of your life for fear of being hurt?

All of these questions can be answered by simply self-reflecting, but you can only discover the answers if you’ve captured them in writing. These questions are going to be tough to answer without a journal of your actions and experiences.

4. Journals Track Your Overall Development

Life happens, and it can happen fast. Sometimes we don’t take the time to stop and look around at what’s happening to us at each moment. We don’t get to see the step-by-step progress that we’re making in our own lives. So what happens? One day it’s the future, and you have no idea how you’ve gotten there.

Journal writing allows you to see how you’ve changed over time, so you can see where you did things right, and you can see where you took a misstep and fell.

The great thing about journals is that you’ll know what that misstep was, and you can make sure it doesn’t happen again—all because you made sure to log it, allowing yourself to learn from your mistakes.

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5. Journals Facilitate Personal Growth

The best thing about journal writing is that no matter what you end up writing about, it’s hard to not grow from it. You can’t just look at a past entry in which you acted shamefully and say “that was dumb, anyway!” No, we say “I will never make a dumb choice like that again!”

It’s impossible not to grow when it comes to journal writing. That’s what makes journal writing such a powerful tool, whether it’s about achieving goals, becoming a better person, or just general personal-development. No matter what you use it for, you’ll eventually see yourself growing as a person.

Kickstart Journaling

How can journaling best be of use to you? To vent your emotions? To help achieve your goals? To help clear your mind? What do you think makes journaling such a useful life skill?

Know the answer? Then it’s about time you reap the benefits of journal writing and start putting pen to paper.

Here’s what you can do to start journaling:

Featured photo credit: Jealous Weekends via unsplash.com

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