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Never Settle in Your Quest for Love. You Deserve More.

Never Settle in Your Quest for Love. You Deserve More.

I will never let fear guide me in my search for love and make me accept anything less that the real thing. Instead, I will trust myself and listen to my heart, because there lay all the answers. No logic can explain how love happens; even though we try to put it in scientific terms, it defies logical laws. It can only be felt. Therefore, I will let love guide me and trust the process of life, instead of trying to rush it by settling for an unfulfilling relationship for fear of being alone or not going through important milestones “on time.”

I’ve learned my lessons.

I will not let my past cloud over my present and future. Instead, I will use my past experiences as a reminder of how much I have grown and how well I am doing in becoming my best version. I won’t dwell on times gone by and choices made — I’ll let them make me better, not bitter. So, I’ve sifted and sorted through my past in order to collect what I’ve learned about myself, and about love, and I’ve chosen what to let go of, and what will drive me to keep going.

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I’ve let go of blaming and criticizing myself and anyone else. I’ve realized what someone else is doing and thinking is perfectly fine. Everyone is right in their own realm, and each of us has a unique path and purpose to fulfil. Therefore, I find parting as a relief instead as a reason for sorrow because it helped me learn more, and it brought more clarity to my definition of love. I cherish each past experience as I am grateful for each lesson I have learned (some of them repeatedly).

I refuse to get pressured into unfulfilling relationships.

Now, I can truly enjoy being single and rest assured that I’m always on the right path. I won’t let myself get caught in the trap of settling for the wrong relationship just to get “figured out.” I deserve more than that. We all do.

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We have to love ourselves enough to let our hearts be louder than our brains. Only then will we let ourselves allow the love to find us. I will make room for love, by cleaning my heart from past sorrows, wrong beliefs, fears, blame, jealousy, worry, lies, and everything love is not. I’ve used my time alone to distinguish between the true desires of my heart and the ones of others I’ve unconsciously picked up along the way. We owe it to ourselves never to let any other person take up all of our time no matter how much we love each other. So, I’m making a promise to myself that I will make time every day to work on myself by doing things I enjoy and improving myself.

We all deserve the love that is kind, compassionate, caring, understanding, appreciating, believing, core-shaking, forward-looking, honest, and eternal. Therefore, I refuse to settle for anything less.

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I won’t settle for love that is quantifiable and conditional, for love that demands or begs, or for unfulfilling conversations and cold embraces. Each and every one of us cannot accept blind pursuits governed only by a physical desire, for we know better. We don’t need explanation nor reason to love.

I won’t force love.

I will not turn my quest for love into a struggle to get it by all means. I want to enjoy every step of the way. By realizing that love starts and grows within us, we understand that to ask for it would mean we don’t have enough of it within ourselves. Only by giving more do we have it returned multiplied. Our quest should not be governed by the need to find someone to complete us, someone who wants to lose themselves by looking into our eyes. We would much rather hold each other’s hand and look in the same direction as we grow together.

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No, I won’t settle for less. And neither should you.

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Ana Erkic

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Last Updated on July 3, 2020

30 Small Habits To Lead A More Peaceful Life

30 Small Habits To Lead A More Peaceful Life

In today’s world, true peace must come from within us and our own actions. Here are 30 small things you can do on a regular basis to increase your overall sense of harmony, peace, and well-being:

1. Don’t go to every fight you’re invited to

Particularly when you’re around those who thrive on chaos, be willing to decline the invitation to join in on the drama.

2. Focus on your breath

Throughout the day, stop to take a few deep breaths. Keep stress at bay with techniques such as “square breathing.” Breathe in for four counts, hold for four counts, then out for four counts, and hold again for four counts. Repeat this cycle four times.

3. Get organized and purge old items

A cluttered space often creates a cluttered spirit. Take the time to get rid of anything you haven’t used in a year and invest in organizational systems that help you sustain a level of neatness.

4. Stop yourself from being judgmental

Whenever you are tempted to have an opinion about someone else’s life, check your intentions. Judging others creates and promotes negative energy.

5. Say ‘thank you’ early and often

Start and end each day with an attitude of gratitude. Look for opportunities in your daily routine and interactions to express appreciation.

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6. Smile more

Even if you have to “fake it until you make it,” there are many scientific benefits of smiling and laughing. Also, pay attention to your facial expression when you are doing neutral activities such as driving and walking. Turn that frown upside down!

7. Don’t worry about the future

As difficult as this sounds, there is a direct connection between staying in the present and living a more peaceful life. You cannot control the future. As the old proverb goes, “Worry is like a rocking chair. It gives you something to do, but it won’t get you anywhere.” Practice gently bringing your thoughts back to the present.

8. Eat real food

The closer the food is to the state from which it came from the earth, the better you will feel in eating it. Choose foods that grew from a plant over food that was made in a plant.

9. Choose being happy over being right

Too often, we sacrifice inner peace in order to make a point. It’s rarely worth it.

10. Keep technology out of the bedroom

Many studies, such as one conducted by Brigham and Women’s Hospital, have connected blue light of electronic devices before bed to adverse sleep and overall health. To make matters worse, many people report that they cannot resist checking email and social media when their cell phone is in reach of their bed, regardless of the time.

11. Make use of filtering features on social media

You may not want to “unfriend” someone completely, however you can choose whether you want to follow their posts and/or the sources of information that they share.

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12. Get comfortable with silence

When you picture someone who is the ultimate state of peace, typically they aren’t talking.

13. Listen to understand, not to respond

So often in conversations, we use our ears to give us cues about when it is our turn to say what we want to say. Practice active listening, ask questions, process, then speak.

14. Put your troubles in a bubble

Whenever you start to feel anxious, visualize the situation being wrapped in a bubble and then picture that sphere floating away.

15. Speak more slowly

Often a lack of peace manifests itself in fast or clipped speech. Take a breath, slow down, and let your thoughtful consideration drive your words.

16. Don’t procrastinate

Nothing adds stress to our lives like waiting until the last minute.

17. Buy a coloring book

Mandala coloring books for adults are becoming more popular because of their connection to creating inner peace.

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18. Prioritize yourself

You are the only person who you are guaranteed to live with 24 hours a day for the rest of your life.

19. Forgive others

Holding a grudge is hurting you exponentially more than anyone else. Let it go.

20. Check your expectations

Presumption often leads to drama. Remember the old saying, “Expectations are premeditated resentments.”

21. Engage in active play

Let your inner child come out and have some fun. Jump, dance, play, and pretend!

22. Stop criticizing yourself

The world is a hard enough place with more than enough critics. Your life is not served well by being one of them.

23. Focus your energy and attention on what you want

Thoughts, words, and actions all create energy. Energy attracts like energy. Put out what you want to get back.

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24. Assign yourself “complaint free” days.

Make a conscious decision not to complain about anything for a whole day. It might be harder than you think and the awareness will stick with you.

25. Surround yourself with people you truly enjoy being in the company of

Personalities tend to be contagious, and not everyone’s is worth catching. Be judicious in your choices.

26. Manage your money

Financial concerns rank top on the list of what causes people stress. Take the time each month to do a budget, calculate what you actually spend and sanity check that against the money you have coming in.

27. Stop trying to control everything

Not only is your inner control freak sabotaging your sense of peace, it is also likely getting in the way of external relationships as well.

28. Practice affirmations

Repeat positive phrases that depict the life and qualities you want to attract. It may not come naturally to you, but it works.

29. Get up before sunrise

Personally witnessing the dawn brings a unique sense of awe and appreciation for life.

30. Be yourself

Nothing creates more inner discord than trying to be something other than who we really are. Authenticity breeds happiness.

Featured photo credit: man watching sunrise via stokpic.com

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