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7 Things Every Guy Needs to Consider Before Getting Down on One Knee

7 Things Every Guy Needs to Consider Before Getting Down on One Knee

If you are thinking of proposing to your girlfriend soon, there are some things you should consider before doing so. You don’t want to just jump right in without being prepared first. Being prepared for something this important in your life is very important because you don’t want anything backfiring on you when she says no. You want to do everything possible to make sure she says yes, so check out these 7 things every guy needs to consider before getting down on one knee.

1. Make Sure She Will Say Yes

First, before you go out of your way to get a ring for her or plan to make this the most romantic thing for the two of you, you want to make sure she is going to say yes. You can do this by uncovering some knowledge about what she will say during the conversations the two of you have.

Has she ever said she doesn’t want to get married? If she hasn’t, then this could possibly mean she will say yes. Also, make sure she wants you as her husband. Does she constantly say, “When can we get married?” or “Are you ever going to marry me?” If she does, then you know she will say yes. Look out for subtle signs.

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2. Don’t Make it Obvious You Are Going to Propose

You want her to be surprised so try not to make it too obvious, but you also don’t want her to think you don’t want to marry her either. Although you want to plan it, you don’t want her to find out by giving it away either.

You could tell her “someday” you will ask her but don’t let her know when because it should be a huge surprise. Keeping it from her might be a little difficult, especially when you try not to keep things from her. However, this one time won’t hurt and she will be very happy that you surprised her.

3. Don’t Let Anyone Else Know

Another way of keeping her from finding out is by not letting anyone else know you are going to ask her to marry you. You should keep it from everyone because you never know who is going to slip out and tell her about the surprise. You have worked so hard in planning this huge surprise and don’t want anyone ruining it for you or her.

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You should definitely not tell her family or her friends and try to keep it from your family and friends because they could even slip out and tell her. You don’t know who you can trust to keep this one huge surprise from her so keep it to yourself.

4. Finding the Right Ring

You want to find the perfect ring for her; one that she will cherish and love for the rest of her life. You want to make sure it fits her but realize that size doesn’t really matter as long as it is not too small to fit.

The main things you want to be aware of when buying something so important includes cut, color, clarity, and carat. The most important thing she will see is how big the diamond is and how shiny it is. Although many guys tend to think that size is the most important aspect of a ring for their girlfriend, this isn’t the most important. You should work with the jeweler to make sure your ring is edited to look the best and within your budget, of course.

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What you should do is find the perfect ring for her and an affordable one for you, and make it personal for her. Have the jeweler make it the way she will like it. The most popular diamond there is for an engagement ring is the brilliant round cut. This is because, depending on the design you choose, it shall reflect your feelings towards her.

5. Be Creative With How you Propose

Everyone is going to be asking you both how you proposed so you want to be as creative as possible. This is not the only reason you want to be creative though. You also want her to really love how you popped the question. Make it more about her, than you. You know what she likes so make it fun, creative, and in a way she will always remember.

6. Make Sure You Both Look Nice When you Pop the Question

The reason for this is because you know she will want to start taking pictures. Because of this, you will both want to be picture ready. The perfect way to have her picture ready is to let her think you are taking her some place nice and fancy.

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This way, she will get dressed up and you will both be picture ready without her knowing the real reason for it. Don’t think she will be disappointed if you don’t take her to her favorite restaurant, after all she will then have a beautiful diamond ring on her finger and will be marrying the man she loves, you.

7. Try To Make it Earlier in the Day When you Propose

You will want to make sure it is earlier in the day that you propose, this way you won’t be too nervous and you will have the rest of the day for making phone calls to tell your friends and family and for the congratulatory emails you will get. You will want to call and tell everyone you know about what happened on this awesome day. You will also want to reply to those congratulatory emails and send out thank you cards. Also, she will want to start planning the wedding already!

All-in-all, make it a day about her but also about the both of you. You want everything to go smoothly for you two and to make sure you are both as happy as you should be. Also, no matter how confident you think you are, you are going to be nervous but once she says yes, it will all be worth.

Featured photo credit: pixabay.com via pixabay.com

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Ahmed Raza

CEO of Samurais.co

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Last Updated on January 15, 2021

7 Ways To Have More Confident Body Language

7 Ways To Have More Confident Body Language

The popular idiomatic saying that “actions speak louder than words” has been around for centuries, but even to this day, most people struggle with at least one area of nonverbal communication. Consequently, many of us aspire to have more confident body language but don’t have the knowledge and tools necessary to change what are largely unconscious behaviors.

Given that others’ perceptions of our competence and confidence are predominantly influenced by what we do with our faces and bodies, it’s important to develop greater self-awareness and consciously practice better posture, stance, eye contact, facial expressions, hand movements, and other aspects of body language.

Posture

First things first: how is your posture? Let’s start with a quick self-assessment of your body.

  • Are your shoulders slumped over or rolled back in an upright posture?
  • When you stand up, do you evenly distribute your weight or lean excessively to one side?
  • Does your natural stance place your feet relatively shoulder-width apart or are your feet and legs close together in a closed-off position?
  • When you sit, does your lower back protrude out in a slumped position or maintain a straight, spine-friendly posture in your seat?

All of these are important considerations to make when evaluating and improving your posture and stance, which will lead to more confident body language over time. If you routinely struggle with maintaining good posture, consider buying a posture trainer/corrector, consulting a chiropractor or physical therapist, stretching daily, and strengthening both your core and back muscles.

Facial Expressions

Are you prone to any of the following in personal or professional settings?

  • Bruxism (tight, clenched jaw or grinding teeth)
  • Frowning and/or furrowing brows
  • Avoiding direct eye contact and/or staring at the ground

If you answered “yes” to any of these, then let’s start by examining various ways in which you can project confident body language through your facial expressions.

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1. Understand How Others Perceive Your Facial Expressions

A December 2020 study by UC Berkeley and Google researchers utilized a deep neural network to analyze facial expressions in six million YouTube clips representing people from over 140 countries. The study found that, despite socio-cultural differences, people around the world tended to use about 70% of the same facial expressions in response to different emotional stimuli and situations.[1]

The study’s researchers also published a fascinating interactive map to demonstrate how their machine learning technology assessed various facial expressions and determined subtle differences in emotional responses.

This study highlights the social importance of facial expressions because whether or not we’re consciously aware of them—by gazing into a mirror or your screen on a video conferencing platform—how we present our faces to others can have tremendous impacts on their perceptions of us, our confidence, and our emotional states. This awareness is the essential first step towards

2. Relax Your Face

New research on bruxism and facial tension found the stresses and anxieties of Covid-19 lockdowns led to considerable increases in orofacial pain, jaw-clenching, and teeth grinding, particularly among women.[2]

The National Institute of Dental and Craniofacial Research estimates that more than 10 million Americans alone have temporomandibular joint dysfunction (TMJ syndrome), and facial tension can lead to other complications such as insomnia, wrinkles, dry skin, and dark, puffy bags under your eyes.[3])

To avoid these unpleasant outcomes, start practicing progressive muscle relaxation techniques and taking breaks more frequently throughout the day to moderate facial tension.[4] You should also try out some biofeedback techniques to enhance your awareness of involuntary bodily processes like facial tension and achieve more confident body language as a result.[5]

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3. Improve Your Eye Contact

Did you know there’s an entire subfield of kinesic communication research dedicated to eye movements and behaviors called oculesics?[6] It refers to various communication behaviors including direct eye contact, averting one’s gaze, pupil dilation/constriction, and even frequency of blinking. All of these qualities can shape how other people perceive you, which means that eye contact is yet another area of nonverbal body language that we should be more mindful of in social interactions.

The ideal type (direct/indirect) and duration of eye contact depends on a variety of factors, such as cultural setting, differences in power/authority/age between the parties involved, and communication context. Research has shown that differences in the effects of eye contact are particularly prominent when comparing East Asian and Western European/North American cultures.[7]

To improve your eye contact with others, strive to maintain consistent contact for at least 3 to 4 seconds at a time, consciously consider where you’re looking while listening to someone else, and practice eye contact as much as possible (as strange as this may seem in the beginning, it’s the best way to improve).

3. Smile More

There are many benefits to smiling and laughing, and when it comes to working on more confident body language, this is an area that should be fun, low-stakes, and relatively stress-free.

Smiling is associated with the “happiness chemical” dopamine and the mood-stabilizing hormone, serotonin. Many empirical studies have shown that smiling generally leads to positive outcomes for the person smiling, and further research has shown that smiling can influence listeners’ perceptions of our confidence and trustworthiness as well.

4. Hand Gestures

Similar to facial expressions and posture, what you do with your hands while speaking or listening in a conversation can significantly influence others’ perceptions of you in positive or negative ways.

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It’s undoubtedly challenging to consciously account for all of your nonverbal signals while simultaneously trying to stay engaged with the verbal part of the discussion, but putting in the effort to develop more bodily awareness now will make it much easier to unconsciously project more confident body language later on.

5. Enhance Your Handshake

In the article, “An Anthropology of the Handshake,” University of Copenhagen social anthropology professor Bjarke Oxlund assessed the future of handshaking in wake of the Covid-19 pandemic:[8]

“Handshakes not only vary in function and meaning but do so according to social context, situation and scale. . . a public discussion should ensue on the advantages and disadvantages of holding on to the tradition of shaking hands as the conventional gesture of greeting and leave-taking in a variety of circumstances.”

It’s too early to determine some of the ways in which Covid-19 has permanently changed our social norms and professional etiquette standards, but it’s reasonable to assume that handshaking may retain its importance in American society even after this pandemic. To practice more confident body language in the meantime, the video on the science of the perfect handshake below explains what you need to know.

6. Complement Your Verbals With Hand Gestures

As you know by now, confident communication involves so much more than simply smiling more or sounding like you know what you’re talking about. What you do with your hands can be particularly influential in how others perceive you, whether you’re fidgeting with an object, clenching your fists, hiding your hands in your pockets, or calmly gesturing to emphasize important points you’re discussing.

Social psychology researchers have found that “iconic gestures”—hand movements that appear to be meaningfully related to the speaker’s verbal content—can have profound impacts on listeners’ information retention. In other words, people are more likely to engage with you and remember more of what you said when you speak with complementary hand gestures instead of just your voice.[9]

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Further research on hand gestures has shown that even your choice of the left or right hand for gesturing can influence your ability to clearly convey information to listeners, which supports the notion that more confident body language is readily achievable through greater self-awareness and deliberate nonverbal actions.[10]

Final Takeaways

Developing better posture, enhancing your facial expressiveness, and practicing hand gestures can vastly improve your communication with other people. At first, it will be challenging to consciously practice nonverbal behaviors that many of us are accustomed to performing daily without thinking about them.

If you ever feel discouraged, however, remember that there’s no downside to consistently putting in just a little more time and effort to increase your bodily awareness. With the tips and strategies above, you’ll be well on your way to embracing more confident body language and amplifying others’ perceptions of you in no time.

More Tips on How to Develop a Confident Body Language

Featured photo credit: Maria Lupan via unsplash.com

Reference

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