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The Reality Of Marriage That You Won’t See People Posting

The Reality Of Marriage That You Won’t See People Posting

Marriage and social media

Anyone can post an idealized view of marriage or long-term relationships on Facebook, Twitter, and other social media. However, in reality life is often a little different. Read on to discover five ways in which real-life marriage doesn’t always quite live up to the cute photos and quotes posted online.

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Arguing is an art form

When you live together, arguments are inevitable. Spending hours every day in the same space is a recipe for inevitable conflict. It doesn’t matter how well you get on or how much you love one another, there will be times at which you end up yelling at your spouse for the most ridiculous and trivial of reasons. Most petty arguments are over within minutes and forgotten within days, but they feel pretty important at the time. You are especially likely to engage in petty fights if both of you are the type of person who always feels compelled to have the last word. Arguing over whose turn it is to take out the garbage can become a matter of supreme importance.

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Falling asleep together comes with its own soundtrack

What could be more romantic than falling asleep next to your spouse at the end of a long day? Well, as peaceful and idyllic as the image might be, the accompanying noises and other nuisances aren’t so romantic. Behind every cute photo of a couple cuddled up together in bed lies the very real probability that at least one person snores, snuffles, hogs the quilt or is in some way an antisocial sleeper. These aren’t just one-off annoyances either. When you live with someone, you have to tolerate their quirks every night for years on end.

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In-depth conversations turn into deep sleep

The idea of coming home to your partner at the end of the working day and spending a few hours of quality time together in the evening is a lovely thought. Couples who post about their cozy evenings in with their beloved seem so blessed! In theory, you can converse on all the important issues of the day, share your innermost thoughts and daydream about the life you want to build together. The reality? You are both so tired from working, looking after the kids and keeping up with housework that it’s easier to pass out into a deep sleep than it is to string a coherent sentence together.

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Mess is inevitable

If you ever see a post featuring a couple proudly proclaiming that they have tackled the yardwork or divested the house of all dirt and dust, bear in mind that this doesn’t reflect everyday reality for most couples. Yes, some people manage to team up on a regular basis and cross all those household jobs from the to-do list, but the vast majority of us take a rather different approach to the housework. In all likelihood, those happy couples who appear united against the ceaseless onslaught of domestic duties have those evenings in which they are far too tired to do anything other than come home, collapse on the couch, and resign themselves to living in a state of chaos until one of them finally manages to catch up on their sleep and summons the energy to wield a vacuum cleaner.

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Jay Hill

Freelance Writer

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Last Updated on August 16, 2018

10 Ways To Step Out Of Your Comfort Zone And Enjoy Taking Risks

10 Ways To Step Out Of Your Comfort Zone And Enjoy Taking Risks

The ability to take risks by stepping outside your comfort zone is the primary way by which we grow. But we are often afraid to take that first step.

In truth, comfort zones are not really about comfort, they are about fear. Break the chains of fear to get outside. Once you do, you will learn to enjoy the process of taking risks and growing in the process.

Here are 10 ways to help you step out of your comfort zone and get closer to success:

1. Become aware of what’s outside of your comfort zone

What are the things that you believe are worth doing but are afraid of doing yourself because of the potential for disappointment or failure?

Draw a circle and write those things down outside the circle. This process will not only allow you to clearly identify your discomforts, but your comforts. Write identified comforts inside the circle.

2. Become clear about what you are aiming to overcome

Take the list of discomforts and go deeper. Remember, the primary emotion you are trying to overcome is fear.

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How does this fear apply uniquely to each situation? Be very specific.

Are you afraid of walking up to people and introducing yourself in social situations? Why? Is it because you are insecure about the sound of your voice? Are you insecure about your looks?

Or, are you afraid of being ignored?

3. Get comfortable with discomfort

One way to get outside of your comfort zone is to literally expand it. Make it a goal to avoid running away from discomfort.

Let’s stay with the theme of meeting people in social settings. If you start feeling a little panicked when talking to someone you’ve just met, try to stay with it a little longer than you normally would before retreating to comfort. If you stay long enough and practice often enough, it will start to become less uncomfortable.

4. See failure as a teacher

Many of us are so afraid of failure that we would rather do nothing than take a shot at our dreams.

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Begin to treat failure as a teacher. What did you learn from the experience? How can you take that lesson to your next adventure to increase your chance of success?

Many highly successful people failed plenty of times before they succeeded. Here’re some examples:

10 Famous Failures to Success Stories That Will Inspire You to Carry On

5. Take baby steps

Don’t try to jump outside your comfort zone, you will likely become overwhelmed and jump right back in.

Take small steps toward the fear you are trying to overcome. If you want to do public speaking, start by taking every opportunity to speak to small groups of people. You can even practice with family and friends.

Take a look at this article on how you can start taking baby steps:

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The Number One Secret to Life Success: Baby Steps

6. Hang out with risk takers

There is no substitute for this step. If you want to become better at something, you must start hanging out with the people who are doing what you want to do and start emulating them. (Here’re 8 Reasons Why Risk Takers Are More Likely To Be Successful).

Almost inevitably, their influence will start have an effect on your behavior.

7. Be honest with yourself when you are trying to make excuses

Don’t say “Oh, I just don’t have the time for this right now.” Instead, be honest and say “I am afraid to do this.”

Don’t make excuses, just be honest. You will be in a better place to confront what is truly bothering you and increase your chance of moving forward.

8. Identify how stepping out will benefit you

What will the ability to engage in public speaking do for your personal and professional growth? Keep these potential benefits in mind as motivations to push through fear.

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9. Don’t take yourself too seriously

Learn to laugh at yourself when you make mistakes. Risk taking will inevitably involve failure and setbacks that will sometimes make you look foolish to others. Be happy to roll with the punches when others poke fun.

If you aren’t convinced yet, check out these 6 Reasons Not to Take Life So Seriously.

10. Focus on the fun

Enjoy the process of stepping outside your safe boundaries. Enjoy the fun of discovering things about yourself that you may not have been aware of previously.

Featured photo credit: Unsplash via unsplash.com

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