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How Can Travelling Bring Romance To Your Life?

How Can Travelling Bring Romance To Your Life?

If you’ve read the book ‘Eat, Pray and Love’, you will soon realize that in the topic love, it’s a magical experience that happens while being completely unpredictable. Falling in love is an accident, it’s a surprise just as what travelling entitles. Sometimes couples rekindle their relationship while others find love for the first time. Innumerable romantic movies have based their storylines on the combustible combination of travelling and falling in love

The question is, does chivalry only exists in movies? Does travelling trigger chivalry or is it a cliché many of us still believe? There are many questions that pops up every now and then in our romantic minds.

It’s safe to say that when there’s travelling there’s always room for chivalry.

1. The Strangers Romance.

Growing up in a small town, I for one never believed in a stranger’s romance. I believed that if you’re falling in love, it’s either a huge romantic accident or it’s arranged by fate and parents. Growing up with such a conservative view, I failed to see any possibilities for a romantic chivalrous experience with a stranger until my first travelling experience.

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If you say jumping over a fence, being indulged in a mediocre Indian restaurant with the spiciest curry and ending the night trying to waltz is movie cliché, then this cliché became my Cinderella story. Sweden was where my stranger romance came happened. After continuous travelling for work, I had visited Sweden for the sole purpose of self-discovery.

Hence, if you’re single and looking for an adventure, choose countries you haven’t been in and always be open minded to what you might come across. If you’re heading to Croatia to bask in the sun and enjoy the history, always be open to talking to new people. In a random bar, you might just find someone to sweep you off your feet.

2. Couples Paradise.

I recall my friends complaining that their relationship has gone stale and both of them had been giving each other the cold shoulder. Over time some resort to Tinder for a fling while others consider a painful breakup. However, many fail to realize that one of the major problems in a relationship is the monotonous routine and a spontaneous trip may bring chivalry back into their lives.

For those who practice a constant routine and have an organized life, it’s difficult to be spontaneous. You work, you get back home, you go for a quick dinner date and talk about your problems. Your partner sees you day in and day out which creates a monotonous and un-attractive scenario.

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Therefore, taking a random trip to the land of romance such as France or to the land of mystery such as Japan would give you the sense of adventure your relationship needs. It will bring back the simple arguments and the missing connection, plus both sides will make attempts to be chivalrous and courteous to each other’s needs.

It brings back romance into every relationship and allows you to embrace it.

3. Allows You to Let Things Happen.

In our regular environment, we are rather up tight, and we prefer things being in a certain order. It helps us deal with life and challenges that’s thrown at us. This hinders us to be open to opportunities, we choose to have a checklist for our partners and end being extremely conservative with our choices. This leaves us very little options and leads us to many unpleasant memories.

Hence booking a flight or taking a train to a new place and planning for something spontaneous will give you an opportunity for self-discovery. You’ll discover yourself capable of experiencing a different adventure and being able to open up. You might enjoy a nice wine in Napa or you might enjoy a beautiful seaside view, however the most exciting thing could be meeting someone you find a connection with.

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Even if you know that after this vacation you may not meet each other or make this situation last forever, you will be able to open up and have fun. This emotion creates a fresh atmosphere that gives you a perspective of what you want. You will embrace the unprecedented and those “checklists” will be a forgotten memory.

Travelling allows you to unwind and be yourself, giving you a chance to discover yourself even when you’re back to your own reality.

4. Allows Your Relationship to Grow.

Growth is crucial towards any relationship, it’s an important criteria that ensures a longer lasting relationship. However, being together and being attached to your general lifestyle doesn’t give you the chance to appreciate each other. It restricts your relationship to be chivalrous and special, you adapt and you forget that being appreciated feels wonderful.

However, going on random vacations allows each of you to create surprises for each other and gives you a chance to get to know each other. You might bring her roses or you might take him for a romantic dinner by the beach, but at the end of the day you’ll appreciate each other more. This allows you to understand each other, share and be honest with your feelings. Furthermore, it allows you to be intimate and understand each other, giving you a chance for the impossible ; a close to perfect relationship.

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In a nutshell, in our modern day if you find it hard to be chivalrous, then take a trip somewhere. Change is always good no matter the circumstance. If you’re single, it allows you to explore yourself and if you’re in a relationship, it allows you to find balance.

Therefore, take a trip and make the best out of it.

Featured photo credit: pixabay.com via pixabay.com

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Last Updated on February 21, 2019

The Secret to Effective Conflict Resolution: The IBR Approach

The Secret to Effective Conflict Resolution: The IBR Approach

In business, in social relationships, in family… In whatever context conflict is always inevitable, especially when you are in the leader role. This role equals “make decisions for the best of majority” and the remaining are not amused. Conflicts arise.

Conflicts arise when we want to push for a better quality work but some members want to take a break from work.

Conflicts arise when we as citizens want more recreational facilities but the Government has to balance the needs to maintain tourism growth.

Conflicts are literally everywhere.

Avoiding Conflicts a No-No and Resolving Conflicts a Win-Win

Avoiding conflicts seem to be a viable option for us. The cruel fact is, it isn’t. Conflicts won’t walk away by themselves. They will, instead, escalate and haunt you back even more when we finally realize that’s no way we can let it be.

Moreover, avoiding conflicts will eventually intensify the misunderstanding among the involved parties. And the misunderstanding severely hinders open communication which later on the parties tend to keep things secret. This is obviously detrimental to teamwork.

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Some may view conflicts as the last step before arguments. And they thus leave it aside as if they never happen. This is not true.

Conflicts are the intersect point between different individuals with different opinions. And this does not necessarily lead to argument.

Instead, proper handling of conflicts can actually result in a win-win situation – both parties are pleased and allies are gained. A better understanding between each other and future conflicts are less likely to happen.

The IBR Approach to Resolve Conflicts

Here, we introduce to you an effective approach to resolve conflicts – the Interest-Based Relational (IBR) approach. The IBR approach was developed by Roger Fisher and William Ury in their 1981 book Getting to Yes. It stresses the importance of the separation between people and their emotions from the problem. Another focus of the approach is to build mutual understanding and respect as they strengthen bonds among parties and can ultimately help resolve conflicts in a harmonious way. The approach suggests a 6-step procedure for conflict resolution:

Step 1: Prioritize Good Relationships

How? Before addressing the problem or even starting the discussion, make it clear the conflict can result in a mutual trouble and through subsequent respectful negotiation the conflict can be resolved peacefully. And that brings the best outcome to the whole team by working together.

Why? It is easy to overlook own cause of the conflict and point the finger to the members with different opinions. With such a mindset, it is likely to blame rather than to listen to the others and fail to acknowledge the problem completely. Such a discussion manner will undermine the good relationships among the members and aggravate the problem.

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Example: Before discussion, stress that the problem is never one’s complete fault. Everyone is responsible for it. Then, it is important to point out our own involvement in the problem and state clearly we are here to listen to everyone’s opinions rather than accusing others.

Step 2: People Are NOT the Cause of Problem

How? State clearly the problem is never one-sided. Collaborative effort is needed. More importantly, note the problem should not be taken personally. We are not making accusations on persons but addressing the problem itself.

Why? Once things taken personally, everything will go out of control. People will become irrational and neglect others’ opinions. We are then unable to address the problem properly because we cannot grasp a fuller and clearer picture of the problem due to presumption.

Example: In spite of the confronting opinions, we have to emphasize that the problem is not a result of the persons but probably the different perspectives to view it. So, if we try to look at the problem from the other’s perspective, we may understand why there are varied opinions.

Step 3: Listen From ALL Stances

How? Do NOT blame others. It is of utmost importance. Ask for everyone’s opinions. It is important to let everyone feel that they contribute to the discussion. Tell them their involvement is essential to solve the problem and their effort is very much appreciated.

Why? None wants to be ignored. If one feels neglected, it is very likely for he/she to be aggressive. It is definitely not what we hope to see in a discussion. Acknowledging and being acknowledged are equally important. So, make sure everyone has equal opportunity to express their views. Also, realizing their opinions are not neglected, they will be more receptive to other opinions.

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Example: A little trick can played here: Invite others to talk first. It is an easy way to let others feel involved and ,more importantly, know their voices are heard. Also, we can show that we are actively listening to them by giving direct eye-contact and nodding. One important to note is that never interrupt anyone. Always let them finish first beforeanother one begins.

Step 4: Listen Comes First, Talk Follows

How? Ensure everyone has listened to one another points of view. It can be done by taking turn to speak and leaving the discussion part at last. State once again the problem is nothing personal and no accusation should be made.

Why? By turn-taking, everyone can finish talking and voices of all sides can be heard indiscriminantly. This can promote willingness to listen to opposing opinions.

Example: We can prepare pieces of paper with different numbers written on them. Then, ask different members to pick one and talk according to the sequence of the number. After everyone’s finished, advise everyone to use “I” more than “You” in the discussion period to avoid others thinking that it is an accusation.

Step 5: Understand the Facts, Then Address the Problem

How? List out ALL the facts first. Ask everyone to tell what they know about the problems.

Why? Sometimes your facts are unknown to the others while they may know something we don’t. Missing out on these facts could possibly lead to inaccurate capture of the problem. Also, different known facts can lead to different perception of the matter. It also helps everyone better understand the problem and can eventually help reach a solution.

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Example: While everyone is expressing their own views, ask them to write down everything they know that is true to the problem. As soon as everyone has finished, all facts can be noted and everyone’s understanding of the problem is raised.

Step 6: Solve the Problem Together

How? Knowing what everyone’s thinking, it is now time to resolve the conflict. Up to this point, everyone should have understood the problem better. So, it is everyone’s time to suggest some solutions. It is important not to have one giving all the solutions.

Why? Having everyone suggesting their solutions is important as they will not feel excluded and their opinions are considered. Besides, it may also generate more solutions that can better resolve the conflicts. Everyone will more likely be satisfied with the result.

Example: After discussion, ask all members to suggest any possible solutions and stress that all solutions are welcomed. State clearly that we are looking for the best outcomes for everyone’s sake rather than battling to win over one another. Then, evaluate all the solutions and pick the one that is in favor of everyone.

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