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6 Signs You’re A Strong Person With Heightened Sensitivity

6 Signs You’re A Strong Person With Heightened Sensitivity

Society has made us believe that a strong person is someone who is fierce, has a stone for a heart, and doesn’t get moved by anything. In short, lacking sensitivity. But you may be surprised to know that it is very much possible to be both strong and sensitive. In fact, the strongest people may actually be the ones that are also highly sensitive.

Here are six signs that you are that unique kind of person, who is both strong and sensitive:

1. Life Sometimes Seems Too Much

You have to get to lecture on time, and you know that immediately afterwards you have to go work at the restaurant, yet not before you pick up your little sister from school. And all that while knowing that your midterm exam is tomorrow. Overwhelming? Well, some people may get absolutely crushed by all of this, while some will do it up without even snorting, or giving it a second glance. However, strong people with heightened sensitivity will feel both things at the same time. Kinda.

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Life can be overwhelming at times. The speed, the stress, the responsibility. People that are both strong and sensitive will easily feel crushed by the weight of it, but will also know that it won’t be enough to stop them. They know that if they fail, they can just get back up, and try again.

2. You’re Truthful, With Yourself and Others

At times, social interaction requires us to act a bit phony, to avoid conflicts and let the truth slide from under the carpet. But when it comes to strong highly sensitive people, they will not shy away from the truth, and in fact, will not even wince at presenting it to the crowd. They are sensitive to their friends and surroundings, but will know that covering up the truth will not help anyone, neither their friends, nor themselves.

3. You Require Meaningful Relationships

You are tired of going through the demanding dates. Dress well, act politely and charmingly, and overall being someone you’re not, waiting to present your true self as time goes by. You want to be honest about your thoughts and your feelings, you don’t want to make up meaningless conversations just for the comfort of conversing.

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Strong people with heightened sensitivity do not like being alone, but know that they need to stay strong enough and wait, if they want to find someone that they will enjoy as their company. Any less than that is unacceptable.

4. You Respect Yourself As Well As Others

A strong person with heightened sensitivity knows what he wants from others, and is also strong enough to know that he won’t take any less than that, even at the cost of pointing that out bluntly at the risk of confrontation. And of course, that person will not expect to have what he doesn’t give.

If you are a strong person with heightened sensitivity, you go by the ideology that you only give others, what you expect of them to give you. It comes by the fact that you hold high respect for yourself, as well as for the people surrounding you.

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5. Strong People With Heightened Sensitivity Make for Great Listeners

You’re talking with your friend, you can hear something strange in his voice, see something odd in his expression. Your heightened sensitivity allows you to catch on and realize that something is wrong. The act of listening does not end with hearing the other person’s words, it also includes reading his tone, and his mood. To read through the lines.

Your heightened sensitivity allows you to be empathetic about the situation, while your strong personality gives you a firm shoulder to weep and cry on. You are sensitive enough to relate to the situation, but also strong enough to keep your composure, making you a reassuring person. This is indeed a unique quality to have.

6. Bad Decisions Overburden You

Have you ever made a decision that you considered as “wrong”, or “bad”? You ran it through your head over and over again, thinking hard on every and each scenario, trying to figure what you could have done different. Well, it makes sense if you are a person with heightened sensitivity, since you take every respective consequence to heart.

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Yet, as a strong person, you realize that this will pass, and that it’s not at all a reason to halt your future endeavors. If anything, it will only help you improve next time, as you will learn much more from each badly made decision.

Being a strong person with heightened sensitivity is truly a rare quality.

Featured photo credit: Viktor Hanacek via picjumbo.com

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Last Updated on February 21, 2019

The Secret to Effective Conflict Resolution: The IBR Approach

The Secret to Effective Conflict Resolution: The IBR Approach

In business, in social relationships, in family… In whatever context conflict is always inevitable, especially when you are in the leader role. This role equals “make decisions for the best of majority” and the remaining are not amused. Conflicts arise.

Conflicts arise when we want to push for a better quality work but some members want to take a break from work.

Conflicts arise when we as citizens want more recreational facilities but the Government has to balance the needs to maintain tourism growth.

Conflicts are literally everywhere.

Avoiding Conflicts a No-No and Resolving Conflicts a Win-Win

Avoiding conflicts seem to be a viable option for us. The cruel fact is, it isn’t. Conflicts won’t walk away by themselves. They will, instead, escalate and haunt you back even more when we finally realize that’s no way we can let it be.

Moreover, avoiding conflicts will eventually intensify the misunderstanding among the involved parties. And the misunderstanding severely hinders open communication which later on the parties tend to keep things secret. This is obviously detrimental to teamwork.

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Some may view conflicts as the last step before arguments. And they thus leave it aside as if they never happen. This is not true.

Conflicts are the intersect point between different individuals with different opinions. And this does not necessarily lead to argument.

Instead, proper handling of conflicts can actually result in a win-win situation – both parties are pleased and allies are gained. A better understanding between each other and future conflicts are less likely to happen.

The IBR Approach to Resolve Conflicts

Here, we introduce to you an effective approach to resolve conflicts – the Interest-Based Relational (IBR) approach. The IBR approach was developed by Roger Fisher and William Ury in their 1981 book Getting to Yes. It stresses the importance of the separation between people and their emotions from the problem. Another focus of the approach is to build mutual understanding and respect as they strengthen bonds among parties and can ultimately help resolve conflicts in a harmonious way. The approach suggests a 6-step procedure for conflict resolution:

Step 1: Prioritize Good Relationships

How? Before addressing the problem or even starting the discussion, make it clear the conflict can result in a mutual trouble and through subsequent respectful negotiation the conflict can be resolved peacefully. And that brings the best outcome to the whole team by working together.

Why? It is easy to overlook own cause of the conflict and point the finger to the members with different opinions. With such a mindset, it is likely to blame rather than to listen to the others and fail to acknowledge the problem completely. Such a discussion manner will undermine the good relationships among the members and aggravate the problem.

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Example: Before discussion, stress that the problem is never one’s complete fault. Everyone is responsible for it. Then, it is important to point out our own involvement in the problem and state clearly we are here to listen to everyone’s opinions rather than accusing others.

Step 2: People Are NOT the Cause of Problem

How? State clearly the problem is never one-sided. Collaborative effort is needed. More importantly, note the problem should not be taken personally. We are not making accusations on persons but addressing the problem itself.

Why? Once things taken personally, everything will go out of control. People will become irrational and neglect others’ opinions. We are then unable to address the problem properly because we cannot grasp a fuller and clearer picture of the problem due to presumption.

Example: In spite of the confronting opinions, we have to emphasize that the problem is not a result of the persons but probably the different perspectives to view it. So, if we try to look at the problem from the other’s perspective, we may understand why there are varied opinions.

Step 3: Listen From ALL Stances

How? Do NOT blame others. It is of utmost importance. Ask for everyone’s opinions. It is important to let everyone feel that they contribute to the discussion. Tell them their involvement is essential to solve the problem and their effort is very much appreciated.

Why? None wants to be ignored. If one feels neglected, it is very likely for he/she to be aggressive. It is definitely not what we hope to see in a discussion. Acknowledging and being acknowledged are equally important. So, make sure everyone has equal opportunity to express their views. Also, realizing their opinions are not neglected, they will be more receptive to other opinions.

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Example: A little trick can played here: Invite others to talk first. It is an easy way to let others feel involved and ,more importantly, know their voices are heard. Also, we can show that we are actively listening to them by giving direct eye-contact and nodding. One important to note is that never interrupt anyone. Always let them finish first beforeanother one begins.

Step 4: Listen Comes First, Talk Follows

How? Ensure everyone has listened to one another points of view. It can be done by taking turn to speak and leaving the discussion part at last. State once again the problem is nothing personal and no accusation should be made.

Why? By turn-taking, everyone can finish talking and voices of all sides can be heard indiscriminantly. This can promote willingness to listen to opposing opinions.

Example: We can prepare pieces of paper with different numbers written on them. Then, ask different members to pick one and talk according to the sequence of the number. After everyone’s finished, advise everyone to use “I” more than “You” in the discussion period to avoid others thinking that it is an accusation.

Step 5: Understand the Facts, Then Address the Problem

How? List out ALL the facts first. Ask everyone to tell what they know about the problems.

Why? Sometimes your facts are unknown to the others while they may know something we don’t. Missing out on these facts could possibly lead to inaccurate capture of the problem. Also, different known facts can lead to different perception of the matter. It also helps everyone better understand the problem and can eventually help reach a solution.

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Example: While everyone is expressing their own views, ask them to write down everything they know that is true to the problem. As soon as everyone has finished, all facts can be noted and everyone’s understanding of the problem is raised.

Step 6: Solve the Problem Together

How? Knowing what everyone’s thinking, it is now time to resolve the conflict. Up to this point, everyone should have understood the problem better. So, it is everyone’s time to suggest some solutions. It is important not to have one giving all the solutions.

Why? Having everyone suggesting their solutions is important as they will not feel excluded and their opinions are considered. Besides, it may also generate more solutions that can better resolve the conflicts. Everyone will more likely be satisfied with the result.

Example: After discussion, ask all members to suggest any possible solutions and stress that all solutions are welcomed. State clearly that we are looking for the best outcomes for everyone’s sake rather than battling to win over one another. Then, evaluate all the solutions and pick the one that is in favor of everyone.

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