Advertising
Advertising

Is Your Tinder Date Lying To You? Run A Background Check

Is Your Tinder Date Lying To You? Run A Background Check

Nine in 10 Americans are using online dating platforms nowadays, when meeting your significant other online is not a stigmatized act anymore. If you would have told someone you’ve met your partner online 20 years ago, eyebrows would raise as you would have gotten disapproving looks. Things changed a lot in the last 20 years and now a survey by Pew Research showed that one in five adults aged between 25-35 are looking for their partner online and two thirds of them had actually dated the people they met online.

Online dating is the second most common way to find your partner, following being introduced by a common friend. The billion dollar industry built with help from the 50 million Tinder users has changed the dynamics of dating and marriage, increasing the your chance to stumble upon a dangerous person. You can never know who is hiding behind an online dating profile. The number of people who are setting up fake profiles, luring honest people into a scam only to have fun, harm them or else, is growing and it also has a name: catfish scam.

Advertising

This comes with a new problem: how can you be sure the person you know online is the same person you are going to meet offline? We’ve all heard horror stories and lots of online-love-gone-wrong experiences, so before you decide what to wear to your date, you might want to background check your new date. Here are some ways to find out if your online date is lying to you or is just enhancing his/her background to impress you.

The basic: Google

The simplest check you can do on your date is a simple Google search. There are multiple ways to look for someone: you can try using the full name of the person you are looking for, quotation marks, aliases and even emails. If you can’t find anything searching for the full name, you can try putting it between quotation marks. If this is not successful, add the person’s alias to the name. You can also add the email, the school or the home town – any information you know about that person can be useful.

Advertising

Run a criminal record check

Ok, this sounds frightening, but you should conduct a criminal record check on your date, especially if you suspect something is not right or you think everything is too good to be true. Depending on the country, you need the name and the birthday of the person. Most countries and states allow you to run an online check on the local court’s website, while others ask for you to come in person. If you live in America and you have suspicions on your date’s background, it might be a good idea to run a criminal record check in multiple states.

Social media check

There is a fine line between checking someone’s social media presence and stalking him/her, but you should try to find out more about your potential date. Facebook, Twitter and Instagram are the best sources for information, but don’t neglect other social media platforms either. You can use your date’s name, alias, telephone or email address, as well as a mix between these or all of them, to be sure you have the right person in front of you.

Advertising

Reverse phone lookup

If you only have an alias or a common name and a phone number, you can do a reverse phone lookup. This is going to show you the name, address and other information about the person you are searching. Reverse phone lookups can also be done on Google and Facebook, but you should first try a specialized platform.

One’s online activity can speak a lot about that person, so you should be able to understand your potential partner better. If there are any red flags about him or her, you can take someone with you when you first date that person or you can simply give up on the date altogether. Your safety is always more important. If the steps above fail you, ask around and try to find information from people who might know the person you are “investigating”. Your potential date is going to find out about your research – don’t worry about this. They should be happy to know you are cautious and you were interested enough to want to know more about them before meeting in person.

Advertising

More by this author

20 Healthy And Tasty Vegan Breakfasts That Bring You Enough Protein 6 Things You Learn From Winter Camping The Ultimate Moving Guide For An Easy Move 6 Reasons You Should Date A Gamer (Girl or Boy) Proven Benefits Of Having A Beard All Men Need To Know About

Trending in Communication

1 11 Red Flags in a Relationship Not To Ignore 2 Easily Misunderstood by Others? 6 Barriers You Should Overcome to Make Communication Less Frustrating 3 7 Simple Ways To Be Famous In One Year 4 How To Feel Happier (10 Scienece-Backed Ways) 5 31 Simple Ways to Free Your Mind Immediately

Read Next

Advertising
Advertising
Advertising

Last Updated on February 11, 2021

Easily Misunderstood by Others? 6 Barriers You Should Overcome to Make Communication Less Frustrating

Easily Misunderstood by Others? 6 Barriers You Should Overcome to Make Communication Less Frustrating

How often have you said something simple, only to have the person who you said this to misunderstand it or twist the meaning completely around? Nodding your head in affirmative? Then this means that you are being unclear in your communication.

Communication should be simple, right? It’s all about two people or more talking and explaining something to the other. The problem lies in the talking itself, somehow we end up being unclear, and our words, attitude or even the way of talking becomes a barrier in communication, most of the times unknowingly. We give you six common barriers to communication, and how to get past them; for you to actually say what you mean, and or the other person to understand it as well…

The 6 Walls You Need to Break Down to Make Communication Effective

Think about it this way, a simple phrase like “what do you mean” can be said in many different ways and each different way would end up “communicating” something else entirely. Scream it at the other person, and the perception would be anger. Whisper this is someone’s ear and others may take it as if you were plotting something. Say it in another language, and no one gets what you mean at all, if they don’t speak it… This is what we mean when we say that talking or saying something that’s clear in your head, many not mean that you have successfully communicated it across to your intended audience – thus what you say and how, where and why you said it – at times become barriers to communication.[1]

Perceptual Barrier

The moment you say something in a confrontational, sarcastic, angry or emotional tone, you have set up perceptual barriers to communication. The other person or people to whom you are trying to communicate your point get the message that you are disinterested in what you are saying and sort of turn a deaf ear. In effect, you are yelling your point across to person who might as well be deaf![2]

Advertising

The problem: When you have a tone that’s not particularly positive, a body language that denotes your own disinterest in the situation and let your own stereotypes and misgivings enter the conversation via the way you talk and gesture, the other person perceives what you saying an entirely different manner than say if you said the same while smiling and catching their gaze.

The solution: Start the conversation on a positive note, and don’t let what you think color your tone, gestures of body language. Maintain eye contact with your audience, and smile openly and wholeheartedly…

Attitudinal Barrier

Some people, if you would excuse the language, are simply badass and in general are unable to form relationships or even a common point of communication with others, due to their habit of thinking to highly or too lowly of them. They basically have an attitude problem – since they hold themselves in high esteem, they are unable to form genuine lines of communication with anyone. The same is true if they think too little of themselves as well.[3]

The problem: If anyone at work, or even in your family, tends to roam around with a superior air – anything they say is likely to be taken by you and the others with a pinch, or even a bag of salt. Simply because whenever they talk, the first thing to come out of it is their condescending attitude. And in case there’s someone with an inferiority complex, their incessant self-pity forms barriers to communication.

Advertising

The solution: Use simple words and an encouraging smile to communicate effectively – and stick to constructive criticism, and not criticism because you are a perfectionist. If you see someone doing a good job, let them know, and disregard the thought that you could have done it better. It’s their job so measure them by industry standards and not your own.

Language Barrier

This is perhaps the commonest and the most inadvertent of barriers to communication. Using big words, too much of technical jargon or even using just the wrong language at the incorrect or inopportune time can lead to a loss or misinterpretation of communication. It may have sounded right in your head and to your ears as well, but if sounded gobbledygook to the others, the purpose is lost.

The problem: Say you are trying to explain a process to the newbies and end up using every technical word and industry jargon that you knew – your communication has failed if the newbie understood zilch. You have to, without sounding patronizing, explain things to someone in the simplest language they understand instead of the most complex that you do.

The solution: Simplify things for the other person to understand you, and understand it well. Think about it this way: if you are trying to explain something scientific to a child, you tone it down to their thinking capacity, without “dumbing” anything down in the process.[4]

Advertising

Emotional Barrier

Sometimes, we hesitate in opening our mouths, for fear of putting our foot in it! Other times, our emotional state is so fragile that we keep it and our lips zipped tightly together lest we explode. This is the time that our emotions become barriers to communication.[5]

The problem: Say you had a fight at home and are on a slow boil, muttering, in your head, about the injustice of it all. At this time, you have to give someone a dressing down over their work performance. You are likely to transfer at least part of your angst to the conversation then, and talk about unfairness in general, leaving the other person stymied about what you actually meant!

The solution: Remove your emotions and feelings to a personal space, and talk to the other person as you normally would. Treat any phobias or fears that you have and nip them in the bud so that they don’t become a problem. And remember, no one is perfect.

Cultural Barrier

Sometimes, being in an ever-shrinking world means that inadvertently, rules can make cultures clash and cultural clashes can turn into barriers to communication. The idea is to make your point across without hurting anyone’s cultural or religious sentiments.

Advertising

The problem: There are so many ways culture clashes can happen during communication and with cultural clashes; it’s not always about ethnicity. A non-smoker may have problems with smokers taking breaks; an older boss may have issues with younger staff using the Internet too much.

The solution: Communicate only what is necessary to get the point across – and eave your personal sentiments or feelings out of it. Try to be accommodative of the other’s viewpoint, and in case you still need to work it out, do it one to one, to avoid making a spectacle of the other person’s beliefs.[6]

Gender Barrier

Finally, it’s about Men from Mars and Women from Venus. Sometimes, men don’t understand women and women don’t get men – and this gender gap throws barriers in communication. Women tend to take conflict to their graves, literally, while men can move on instantly. Women rely on intuition, men on logic – so inherently, gender becomes a big block in successful communication.[7]

The problem: A male boss may inadvertently rub his female subordinates the wrong way with anti-feminism innuendoes, or even have problems with women taking too many family leaves. Similarly, women sometimes let their emotions get the better of them, something a male audience can’t relate to.

The solution: Talk to people like people – don’t think or classify them into genders and then talk accordingly. Don’t make comments or innuendos that are gender biased – you don’t have to come across as an MCP or as a bra-burning feminist either. Keep gender out of it.

And remember, the key to successful communication is simply being open, making eye contact and smiling intermittently. The battle is usually half won when you say what you mean in simple, straightforward words and keep your emotions out of it.

Reference

Read Next