Advertising
Advertising

Are Extrovert Wives More Satisfied In Their Marriages?

Are Extrovert Wives More Satisfied In Their Marriages?

Straight up, the answer is Yes. Because, excuse the jaded phrase, the research says so.

To understand the research findings, first you need to know what makes introverts and extroverts different? It’s my personal take that there are no pure-blood ambiverts. Ambiverts are actually introverts who learned extroverted ways to navigate through an extroverted world. So, while they are as raucous extroverts by the world, deep down they are just “quiet” introverts. Introverts and extroverts do not live at the extreme ends of the personality scale. There are always some shades of gray.

What Makes Extroverts Different From Introverts?

The Extrovert

Most of those you know may be extroverts and there is a high probability that you’re one.

Extroverts talk more, they laugh more, they surprise us more often. Extroverts are more friendly, enthusiastic, thrill-seeking, and act-now-think-later (instant gratification) types. They open up to people more easily, and you often find them talking to you about what’s going on in their minds. You will rarely find them sitting or doing things alone. People are their life-blood. The outer world is their breath-air.

Advertising

Did you know that extroverts are happier than introverts, and this effect stretches over decades?

The Introvert

And the introverts, you know them too. That wallflower friend of yours, yes. That kid in your class who’s always lost in thoughts, yes. That guy who enters the party late and slips out early unnoticed, yes. Often described as a private person, yes.

You see them poring over their mobile screens with way too much fascination. Up close, you find that they’re usually not chatting with their online friends. Rather, they are reading something or playing a brain game. They just don’t make the small talk. In fact, what irritates them to no end is meaningless conversations.

How Do They Differ

Advertising

It’s the wiring in their brains. In 1997, the British psychologist Hans Eysenck said the main reason for the differences between introverts and extroverts is in how their brains get aroused.

Introvert brains get aroused without much effort. By nature, they process more information per second. Now, one’s brain can process only finite chunks of information over a certain time. So, when there is too much noise to process, the introverts become overwhelmed. Once that happens, they tend to shut out the outside world and seek out time alone – to focus inwardsThe extroverts, however, don’t spark up fast. They have to reach out for stimulating environments to arouse themselves. They thrive in situations where there is a lot of stimuli – voices, music, chatter. It makes them feel home. Because their brains process less amounts of external data per second. So they need loads of stimuli from their surroundings – to feel alive.

The Lemon Juice Experiment

A famous lemon juice experiment in 1964 showed that an introvert salivates more than an extrovert when their tongue gets a few drops of lemon juice. Psychologists concluded introverts get more aroused with the same load of stimuli than extroverts. Find out more on how the brains of introverts differ from those of extroverts.

Let’s jump back to our primary question:

Advertising

Do Extroverted Women Have More Satisfying Marriages?

This is a recent research coming out of Iran. Four psychologists from two universities came together to publish their findings in May 2016. They gathered 92 married working women from Shiraz welfare organization. The participants had no history of divorce or separation, and aged between 25 to 45 years. To remove any bias, the researchers chose them at random.

The Research

The psychologists Somayeh Tahmasebi, Baratali Maleki, Masumeh Rezayi Aval, Fereshte Tahmasebi gave them a long test, with 4 sets of questions.

  1. The first, Demographic set, asked them about their age, salary, education, years of marriage, and number of children.
  2. The second set was the ENRICH (Evaluating & Nurturing Relationship Issues, Communication, Happiness) inventory. This is an exhaustive set of 125 questions on 14 different scales – as marital satisfaction, financial issues, personality, sexual relationships, friends and relatives, conflict solving, and others. The ENRICH can differentiate between the happy married couples and the unhappy ones with an accuracy of 85-95%. If you want to find out how satisfied you’re in your marriages, you could take the ENRICH/PREPARE online assessment.
  3. The third set was Eysenck Personality Questionnaire (EPQ) with 57 questions. The EPQ measures the extroversion/introversion and neuroticism/stability aspects of personality. It also has a lie-detector scale. What is neuroticism? It is emotionality, or emotional instability. Neurotic people are quick to get nervous or upset under pressure. They are also less happy in their relationships.
  4. The fourth set was the Ahvaz Perfectionism Scale, of 27 questions. They included this because perfectionism is one of the factors that contributes to marriage satisfaction (this study).

The Results

They found “there is a significant positive relationship between extrovert personality and marital satisfaction of women employees.” You may read it as – the more extroverted a working woman, the higher her satisfaction in a marriage. And the less extroverted an employed woman, the lower her chances of marital happiness.

Advertising

They are not the only ones to reach this conclusion. Another study coming out of Iran concluded that the extrovert personality trait can predict marital satisfaction (Ata Shakerian, 2011). Yet another study from Iran, published in The Arab Journal of Psychiatry, emphasizes that “personality traits (extroversion included) are still the most important factor in determining marital adjustment” (Aysun Ghaemian, Javad Gholami, 2010).

Final Words

Adjustment in marriage is actually an exercise of extroversion that is played out by the two partners. If two people in a marriage do not talk or share their interests with each other, how much happiness can there be in that bond? And when conflicts happen, as it will, do you think it would help if they were to sulk and stay silent out of their extrovert nature? In a way, extroversion is what keeps the couple going well. Just think of that.

Featured photo credit: easyweddings.com.au via easyweddings.com.au

More by this author

Sandip Roy

Medical Doctor

Are Extrovert Wives More Satisfied In Their Marriages? Man Checking His iPhone & Working at Home Office What Does Procrastination Do To Your Happiness?

Trending in Communication

1Quit Your Job If You Don’t Like It, No Matter What 210 Ways To Step Out Of Your Comfort Zone And Enjoy Taking Risks 3When You Start to Enjoy Being Single, These 12 Things Will Happen 421 Best Tips On Making A Long Distance Relationship Work 5The Skill That Most People Don’t Have: Active Listening

Read Next

Advertising
Advertising

Last Updated on August 20, 2018

Quit Your Job If You Don’t Like It, No Matter What

Quit Your Job If You Don’t Like It, No Matter What

Do you know that feeling? The one where you have to wake up to go to your boring 9-5 job to work with the same boring colleagues who don’t appreciate what you do.

I do, and that’s why I’ve decided to quit my job and follow my passion. This, however, requires a solid plan and some guts.

The one who perseveres doesn’t always win. Sometimes life has more to offer when you quit your current job. Yes, I know. It’s overwhelming and scary.

People who quit are often seen as ‘losers’. They say: “You should finish what you’ve started”.

I know like no other that quitting your job can be very stressful. A dozen questions come up when you’re thinking about quitting your job, most starting with: What if?

Advertising

“What if I don’t find a job I love and regret quitting my current job?”
“What if I can’t find another job and I get in debt because I can’t pay my bills?”
“What if my family and friends judge me and disapprove of the decisions I make?”
“What if I quit my job to pursue my dream, but I fail?

After all, if you admit to the truth of your surroundings, you’re forced to acknowledge that you’ve made a wrong decision by choosing your current job. But don’t forget that quitting certain things in life can be the path to your success!

One of my favorite quotes by Henry Ford:

If you always do what you’ve always done, you’ll always get what you’ve always got.

Everything takes energy

Everything you do in life takes energy. It takes energy to participate in your weekly activities. It takes energy to commute to work every day. It takes energy to organize your sister’s big wedding.

Advertising

Each of the responsibilities we have take a little bit of our energy. We only have a certain amount of energy a day, so we have to spend it wisely.  Same goes for our time. The only things we can’t buy in this world are time and energy. Yes, you could buy an energy drink, but will it feel the same as eight hours of sleep? Will it be as healthy?

The more stress there is in your life, the less focus you have. This will weaken your results.

Find something that is worth doing

Do you have to quit every time the going gets touch? Absolutely not! You should quit when you’ve put everything you’ve got into something, but don’t see a bright future in it.

When you do something you love and that has purpose in your life, you should push through and give everything you have.

I find star athletes very inspiring. They don’t quit till they step on that stage to receive their hard earned gold medal. From the start, they know how much work its going to take and what they have to sacrifice.

Advertising

When you do something you’re really passionate about, you’re not in a downward spiral. Before you even start you can already see the finish line. The more focus you have for something, the faster you’ll reach the finish.

It is definitely possible to spend your valuable time on something you love and earn money doing it. You just have to find out how — by doing enough research.

Other excuses I often hear are:

“But I have my wife and kids, who is going to pay the bills?”
“I don’t have time for that, I’m too busy with… stuff” (Like watching TV for 2 hours every day.)
“At least I get the same paycheck every month if I work for a boss.”
“Quitting my job is too much risk with this crisis.”

I understand those points. But if you’ve never tried it, you’ll never know how it could be. The fear of failure keeps people from stepping out of their comfort zone.

Advertising

I’ve heard many people say, “I work to let my children make their dream come true”. I think they should rephrase that sentence to: “I pursue my dreams — to inspire and show my children anything is possible.” 

Conclusion

Think carefully about what you spend your time on. Don’t waste it on things that don’t brighten your future. Instead, search for opportunities. And come up with a solid plan before you take any impulsive actions.

Only good things happen outside of your comfort zone.

Do you dare to quit your job for more success in life?

Featured photo credit: Jadon Barnes via images.unsplash.com

Read Next