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Why A Visit To The Car Dealer Gives You An Insight To Your Psychology

Why A Visit To The Car Dealer Gives You An Insight To Your Psychology

Did you know that the most vulnerable part of our body is our psychology, yet it’s still the strongest part of our body? It’s something mesmerizing to know that the weakest and the strongest part of our body is our mind. However, we constantly focus on the negativity instead of the positivity and we never truly understood the strength of our mind. However, a recent visit to a car dealership thought me a life lesson.

What happened? that’s the common reaction I receive towards my story.

This begun with an example of a friend who’s constantly crying and being afraid of everything on planet earth however she was a lioness at the showroom while me a person who’s up for any challenge was looking for a place to be invisible.

How strong are you mentally?

A question I decided to answer and here are a few answers I would like to share with the world. They say sharing is caring hence I’m sharing my answers with you.

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1. Teaches You How Manipulation Works.

That very morning, I received a call from a friend of mine who wanted me to follow her to a showroom. Based on my previous experience there’s always something to observe and write about. Making our way there, we were taken hostage by a salesman who followed us around like a puppy. I was getting flustered and frustrated as I often avoid such situations. For example, even in a store, I prefer to go to stores where the sales people don’t quite care hence avoiding the eagle eye situation.

However, my friend wasn’t disturbed instead she just walked around until she found a car that she would like to test drive. During the test drive, the conversation shifted and the mind games had begun. My friend who’s generally a frugal person wasn’t intending to pay more than what she bargained for. Hence despite the temptation and the charming words from the salesman we walked out the showroom with the car within the budget and nothing more

If you’re going to a showroom, always keep in mind to research thoroughly about your desired car. You need to be certain of the car you want or need as a number of choices will leave you vulnerable to manipulation and spending. Never get flustered or frustrated when a salesman is following you, as he’s only trying to do his job instead have a confident conversation with him. this will deter him from manipulating you towards unnecessary expenses.

Confidence is always good if you’re making a huge investment on your own.

2. Enter The Showroom with A Strict Budget.

Growing up entirely independent I enjoy making precise budgets and I generally stick to the allocated amount. It eventually turned into my favorite hobby but I never knew it’s importance until I was in the showroom.

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In a showroom, prices can increase in a blink of an eye as you find opportunities and offers to “pimp” up your ride. What happens if you don’t have a model or a budget in mind? Then you might be shelling out money on the unnecessary additions you purchased.

Therefore, to avoid such situations it’s always best to take along with you a friend or someone who could be an expert with cars and who can help you with a budget. This gives you an ammunition to secure yourself a good deal. A strict budget allows you to stay focused and not sway according to the charming propositions of the salesman.

Why pay more when you can save more?

3. Don’t Be Afraid to Question.

Everyone have their moments where they feel trapped and are afraid of asking questions. We tend to agree or stay silent if we were taken hostage in a conversation, a lump that’s caught our tongue. However, this is the wrong attitude to possess if you’re in a car dealership.

You’ll be hassled and haggled and the salesman would be talking without a full stop. Your mind might be swaying and you might just want to nod to everything that he’s saying without even asking a single question.

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However, you know that this attitude could lead you towards disappointment. So take it upon yourself to ask any question about the car and never feel intimidated to ask for any information. The more you know the better it is for you to make a wise decision. If you aren’t certain of the answers or don’t understand car lingo, then be sure to take someone who knows best with you.

Sometimes two brains are better than one.

4. Read Through All the Papers and Contracts.

At the car dealership, the biggest problem you might face is facing the paperwork. Personally, I hate paperwork, it’s a trigger point for my anxieties. However, it’s a part of life that’s unavoidable so I’ve learnt to deal with it by reading it thoroughly. I learnt an important lesson to read through every word in a contract properly and understand their definition.

At the car dealership, you’re on your own with no legal representation. It can be terrifying being alone and trying to make sense of all the documents. Putting in a down payment and negotiating installment deals can be frustrating, therefore, always take your time and read through the papers.

Often times you’re allowed to take the documents with you to think about the clauses as well as refer to someone. Take this opportunity to look into your documents and make sure to understand the words in legal terms. Sometimes legal terms may have a different definition compared to normal terms.

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When you’re confident that this would be the right deal, you will be able to make a purchase without any buyer’s remorse.

In a nutshell, buying a car is a big step which impacts you financially and personally. You need to have a strong mentality and confidence to ensure you secure the best deals. Therefore, if you’re purchasing a vehicle anytime soon I’m sure this would be a great read for you.

Featured photo credit: Google Images via gearheads.org

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Last Updated on December 17, 2018

Why You Think You’re Not Good Enough and How To Believe in Yourself

Why You Think You’re Not Good Enough and How To Believe in Yourself

Have you ever wanted to say something at work, but a little voice of doubt crept in and said, “what if you are wrong”?

Maybe you wanted to apply for that promotion or ask that special someone on a date, but something kept you from taking action. When you think you’re not good enough, you tend to fear the outcome and lack faith in your abilities. That is why it is vital you discover how to believe in yourself so you can accomplish your goals and create your dream life.

Whatever your situation, the fears and self-doubt your false beliefs create will always stop you in your tracks. Identifying the beliefs that cause you to sabotage your life is the first step to removing them.

Self-doubt causes inaction, and inaction leads to regret. When you are not following your passion and living your dream life, you are left with a lot of questions:

  • What if I took a chance on myself?
  • Could I have had a better life if I took more risks?
  • Am I be satisfied with the legacy I am leaving behind?
  • What could I have accomplished if I did not settle for less?

So why would you think you’re not good enough?

1. Parenting

The perception you have of yourself is based on your past experiences. There are studies that show children mimic everything from their parents ability to regulate emotions, to their parents belief about money.[1]

I have had clients who did not believe they were good enough because they did not receive any positive reinforcement as a child. When they were young, their parents were extremely overprotective.

Think of your childhood challenges like dragons you had to slay. Each obstacle you overcame was another dragon you successfully removed from your life. As you slay more dragons, your self-esteem and confidence increase. When someone has overprotective parents, their parents end up slaying the dragons.

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As a result, the child builds more confidence in their parent’s abilities, while still doubting their own.

If you are never encouraged to slay your own dragons, you start to doubt whether you can. It is only natural for a child to conclude their parents are always helping them because they think they need it. This child ages into an adult who still believes they are not good enough. They seek the help and confirmation of others, and they rarely stand-up to opposition.

Solution: Slay Your Dragons!

If you want to believe in yourself, you are going to have to take steps to rebuild your trust in yourself. Start by keeping your word to others and arriving on-time. By showing yourself that others can (and do) trust you, you are going to feel more comfortable trusting yourself.

As you move onto larger and more challenging tasks, you have built a foundation of trust in your ability to keep your word. Next, you are going to want to reclaim your sword from others. At first, you may want to confide in whoever it is currently slaying your dragons.

Understand if it is your parent or someone who loves you, they want the best for you and mean well. You are simply going to tell them that you want to do the work, and will ask them for their thoughts in the planning phase. Feel free to check in with them and give them updates on your progress, while making sure they understand you are wanting to do the work yourself.

Then when the task is completed, let them know so you can celebrate together. Now that you have slayed your own dragon, you can start to reclaim your confidence. By you utilizing them as your guide, you get the added bonus of someone you respect and admire, telling you how amazing you are.

Think of it like a symbolic passing of the torch. Now, you are both dragon slayers. Which means all the positive attributes you attributed to them slaying your dragons, now belong to you.

2. Over-Exaggerating and Oversimplifying

Your past experiences may involve you or someone close to you failing. When you experience failure, you can lose your desire to continue. This has less to do with whether you are brave or scared, and more to do with the fact that your mind does not like failure.

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No one enjoys participating in events in which they under-perform. Outside of the usual reasons of embarrassment, feelings of inadequacy, and fear of failure – it is simply not fun.

Who wants to play baseball if they strikeout every time it is their turn? Would you enjoy singing in front of an audience if you were booed off the stage every time you performed? I could go on, but I think you get the point.

The thing about those two examples is no one really strikes out “every” at-bat. It is also unlikely someone could be booed off the stage “every time” they performed in-front of an audience.

What ends up happening is you oversimplify and exaggerate your past experiences and then your mind believes you. If you believe you are not good enough to ask someone on a date because they “always” tell you no, then do not be surprised you never muster the courage to do so.

If you want to overcome these feelings of inadequacy, start by changing your beliefs. This exercise does not need to be complicated. If you believe you strikeout every time it is your turn, I want to you to go to a batting cage and keep swinging until you hit the baseball.

When you experience success, I want you to take a mental note, write it down, or have someone video it. This is your proof that you do not always strike out. Then, whenever your belief that you are not good enough resurfaces, you are going to replay that video.

Regardless of the situation, you can find a successful experience that you are overlooking.

Solution: Read About the Failures of Others

It sounds a little crazy, I know, but reading about the failures of other successful people will improve your confidence. In a study conducted by Columbia University, they found that teaching students about the failures of great scientists encouraged them to do better.[2]

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When you are battling fear and self-doubt, you tend to over-exaggerate the abilities of others and diminish your own by comparison. You start to believe the successful are successful because they are courageous risk-takers, who do not take no for an answer. You tell yourself, they are meant to succeed, while you on the other hand are not.

When you are able to relate to the successful, you start to realize they have the same struggles and challenges you do. The only difference is they kept going.

Now it is not a question of whether you can succeed, it is a question of whether you want to succeed.

3. Undervalue Yourself

What is the main difference between someone who believes they are good enough and someone who does not? The person who believes they are good enough understands they are a person of value.

What I mean by this is if you do not believe you are worth being listened to, you will not have anything to say. If you do not believe you are good enough to be respected and treated as such, you will accept and rationalize all kinds of mistreatment.

There is an old saying that we are treated as we allow ourselves to be treated. When someone has the confidence and self-esteem that commands respect, they will not accept being treated any kind of way. However, if someone does not see themselves as worthy, they will remain in toxic situations because they do not believe anything better is on the horizon.

Dr. Jennifer Crocker, who worked on a series of self-esteem studies, found in her latest research that:[3]

“College students who based their self-worth on external sources–including appearance, approval from others and even their academic performance–reported more stress, anger, academic problems, relationship conflicts, and had higher levels of drug and alcohol use and symptoms of eating disorders”

Solution: Internalize Your Self-Worth

Instead of valuing yourself based on the awards, recognition, and accolades of others, you need to search internally. By basing your perception of yourself on your core values, you can regain control over self-image.

Instead of focusing on things that are outside of control, keep your mind on what it is that makes you special. You are not defined by your job, relationships, religion, or education. Rather, you are defined by the manner in which you participate in these things. You may be a creative, hard-working, and compassionate person; and that shows up in every thing you do.

Understand that you do not need to be creative, hard-working, and compassionate all the time to consider yourself these things. You are not trying to be perfect, but you are trying to connect with your true self.

By understanding the similarities in which you tackle objectives, you will build a consistent and powerful self-worth that stands apart from external confirmation.

Final Thoughts

Do not allow your past experiences do dictate your future success. You do not want to look back on your life and have a lot of questions and regrets.

Build trust in yourself by taking action today. This will help you build the confidence you need to believe in yourself and your ability to become the champion of your life.

More Inspiration About Motivation

Featured photo credit: Riccardo Mion via unsplash.com

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