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Comedian Frankly Describes The Grief He’s Undergoing After Losing His Wife Suddenly

Comedian Frankly Describes The Grief He’s Undergoing After Losing His Wife Suddenly

When Patton Oswalt was born in 1969, his parents were unaware of what a fabulous boy they had brought into this world. We can only imagine the entertainment that went on during family meals as he grew up. As an adult, the world grew to love the man behind the smile and quirky facial expressions. As an actor, Oswalt’s ability to slide into characters such as the voice of Remy in the movie ‘Ratatouille’ or the hilarious role of Spence on ‘The King of Queens’ appeared to be flawless.

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Spence on King of Queens
                                                                                                                    (Photo courtesy: screenused.com)

    His personal life also appeared flawless as he married his love Michelle McNamara in the year 2005. In 2009 the couple were blessed with their beautiful daughter, Alice. Just a short time later, Oswalt would feel the world he built crumbling down around him. In April of 2016, Patton Oswalt lost his wonderfully talented wife as death took her from the family that she adored.

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    Patton and Daughter

      How Hard It Is To Lose A Loved One…

      Depression and heartache do not discriminate. Emotions do not care if you are the President of a large country or a single mother working two jobs to keep food on the table. These same emotions do not care what color your skin is, and they do not care how large your bank account may be. Smiles, jokes, and laughter are coping mechanisms that many people display to the world as a way to hide from the pain. They will slide on the comedy persona to not only keep their emotions pushed to the side, but to also to keep others from finding out what these emotions are. This is a sad reality for anyone who has lived under a dark blanket for any length of time, but for those who live under constant appraisal of the public, it appears even darker, and many never find a way to free those emotions, to find just a fragment of light.

      Embrace Despair

      When tragedy strikes and that dark blanket starts to feel as though it may suffocate us, we need social support. Simply put: people need people. We need others to cling to, to drag us out of our dark corners, and we need people to put up with our emotional vomit, and we need them to still like us when we are done. In a very well thought out post that Oswalt bravely shared with his fans on Facebook, he makes this point clear when he states:

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      “You will have been shown new levels of humanity and grace and intelligence by your family and friends. They will show up for you, physically and emotionally, in ways which make you take careful note, and say to yourself, “Make sure to try to do that for someone else someday.” Complete strangers will send you genuinely touching messages on Facebook and Twitter, or will somehow figure out your address to send you letters which you’ll keep and re-read ’cause you can’t believe how helpful they are. And, if you’re a parent? You’ll wish you were your kid’s age, because the way they embrace despair and joy are at a purer level that you’re going to have to reconnect with, to reach backwards through years of calcified cynicism and ironic detachment” (Oswalt, 2016 Thanks, grief.

      Stages of Grief

      In 1969 Elisabeth Kübler-Ross outlined the stages of grief, and this outline has become universally accepted as the normal human approach to loss. We do not all progress through these stages in order, but eventually, if we allow ourselves to go through the grieving process, we do seem to go through them at some point in time. The stages include denial and isolation, anger, bargaining, depression, and eventually acceptance (Axelrod, J. (2016). The 5 Stages of Loss & Grief. Psych Central.

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      Through his very open and courageous Facebook post, we see that Oswalt is progressing through the stages of grief, and this may be due to his own resilience and/or with the help of his social support. He states that:

       “102 days into this. I was face-down and frozen for weeks. It’s 102 days later and I can confidently say I have reached a point where I’m crawling. Which, objectively, is an improvement. Maybe 102 days later…I’ll be walking” (Oswalt, 2016).

      Wife and Patton
                                                                                                                           (Photo courtesy: News.com.au)

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        Last Updated on October 18, 2018

        50+ Best Motivational Quotes To Prepare You For Any Challenges In Life

        50+ Best Motivational Quotes To Prepare You For Any Challenges In Life

        Life is filled with highs and lows —happiness and struggles that will test your resilience and integrity, push you to overcome challenges and leave you with lessons that will make you even stronger on your way up.

        It’s the way you feel and think about yourself, including your expectations and beliefs about what is possible to you, greatly determines everything that happens to you.

        It all starts with your thoughts. When you change your thoughts, you transform the quality of your life. (Right, Nancy’s story is a typical example!)

        Below is a list of the best motivational quotes to inspire you to start your day with a blast:

        Quotes for self-assurance

        1. Don’t downgrade your dream just to fit your reality, upgrade your conviction to match your destiny.

          2. You are braver than you believe, stronger than you seem and smarter than you think.

            3. You are confined only by the walls you build yourself.

              4. The man who has confidence in himself gains the confidence of others

                5. You attract what you are, not what you want. If you want great, then be great.

                  6. It’s not who you are that holds you behind, it’s who you think your are not.

                    Quotes about positivity

                    7. Stop being afraid of what could go wrong and think of what could go right.

                      8. You should never regret anything in life. If it’s good, it’s wonderful. If it’s bad, it is experience.

                        9. Falling down is an accident, staying down is a choice.

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                          10. If you have the power to make someone happy, do it. The world needs more of that.

                            11. Always believe that something wonderful is about to happen.

                              12. Don’t be afraid to give up the good and go for great.

                                13. Remember that life’s greatest lessons are usually learned from worst times and from the worst mistakes.

                                  Quotes for work and success

                                  14. Don’t talk, just act. Don’t say, just show. Don’t promise, just prove.

                                    15. Never stop doing great just because someone doesn’t give you credit.

                                      16. Discipline is doing what needs to be done, even if you don’t want to.

                                        17. Work while they sleep. Learn while they party. Save while they spend. Live like they dream.

                                          18. The key to success is to focus our conscious mind on things we desire, not things we fear.

                                            19. Never apologize for having high standards, people who really want to be in your life will rise to meet them.

                                              20. If it doesn’t challenge you, it won’t change you.

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                                                21. Never give up on a dream just because of the time it will take to accomplish it, time will pass anyway.

                                                  22. Don’t fear failure. Fear being in the exact same place next year as you are today.

                                                    23. A hill is just another opportunity to leave your competition behind.

                                                      24. Don’t quit. You’re already in pain. You’re already hurt. Get a reward from it.

                                                        25. Hustle until you no longer need to introduce yourself.

                                                          26. You didn’t come this far only to come this far.

                                                            27. Be selective in your battles for sometimes peace is better than being right.

                                                              28 If we keep doing what we are doing, we’re going to keep getting what we’re getting.

                                                                29. You will never know your limits until you push yourself to them.

                                                                  30. Do what you have to do until you can do what you want to do.

                                                                    31. The man on top of the mountain didn’t fall there.

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                                                                      32. If your dreams don’t scare you, they are not big enough.

                                                                        33. If you can’t handle stress, you won’t manage success.

                                                                          34. Don’t be pushed by your problems, be led by your dreams.

                                                                            35. Don’t mistake silence for weakness. Smart people don’t plan big moves out loud.

                                                                              36. Simplicity is the ultimate sophistication.

                                                                                37. Obsessed is the word the lazy use to describe dedicated.

                                                                                  38. You become who you spend your time with.

                                                                                    39. Be stubborn about your goals and flexible about your methods.

                                                                                      40. Hard work beats talent when talent doesn’t work hard.

                                                                                        41. If you don’t build your dreams, someone else will hire you to build theirs.

                                                                                          42. Between stimulus and response is our greatest power –the freedom to choose.

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                                                                                            43. What comes easy won’t last, what lasts won’t come easy.

                                                                                              44. Don’t limit your challenges, challenge your limits.

                                                                                                45. Work until your idols become your rivals.

                                                                                                  Quotes about money

                                                                                                  46. Formal education will make you a living. Self-education will make you a fortune.

                                                                                                    47. I create new enemies every day, it’s called business.

                                                                                                      48. When you have a Million Dollar vision, don’t surround yourself with 1 cent minds.

                                                                                                        49. You can’t get rich thinking poor.

                                                                                                          50. Doing what is comfortable is rarely profitable.

                                                                                                            51. If you can count your money, work harder.

                                                                                                              If you find yourself feeling lost and frustrated, it’s never too late to change things up. Check out this guide:

                                                                                                              How to Start Over and Reboot Your Life When It Seems Too Late

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