Advertising
Advertising

Comedian Frankly Describes The Grief He’s Undergoing After Losing His Wife Suddenly

Comedian Frankly Describes The Grief He’s Undergoing After Losing His Wife Suddenly

When Patton Oswalt was born in 1969, his parents were unaware of what a fabulous boy they had brought into this world. We can only imagine the entertainment that went on during family meals as he grew up. As an adult, the world grew to love the man behind the smile and quirky facial expressions. As an actor, Oswalt’s ability to slide into characters such as the voice of Remy in the movie ‘Ratatouille’ or the hilarious role of Spence on ‘The King of Queens’ appeared to be flawless.

Advertising

Spence on King of Queens
                                                                                                                    (Photo courtesy: screenused.com)

    His personal life also appeared flawless as he married his love Michelle McNamara in the year 2005. In 2009 the couple were blessed with their beautiful daughter, Alice. Just a short time later, Oswalt would feel the world he built crumbling down around him. In April of 2016, Patton Oswalt lost his wonderfully talented wife as death took her from the family that she adored.

    Advertising

    Patton and Daughter

      How Hard It Is To Lose A Loved One…

      Depression and heartache do not discriminate. Emotions do not care if you are the President of a large country or a single mother working two jobs to keep food on the table. These same emotions do not care what color your skin is, and they do not care how large your bank account may be. Smiles, jokes, and laughter are coping mechanisms that many people display to the world as a way to hide from the pain. They will slide on the comedy persona to not only keep their emotions pushed to the side, but to also to keep others from finding out what these emotions are. This is a sad reality for anyone who has lived under a dark blanket for any length of time, but for those who live under constant appraisal of the public, it appears even darker, and many never find a way to free those emotions, to find just a fragment of light.

      Embrace Despair

      When tragedy strikes and that dark blanket starts to feel as though it may suffocate us, we need social support. Simply put: people need people. We need others to cling to, to drag us out of our dark corners, and we need people to put up with our emotional vomit, and we need them to still like us when we are done. In a very well thought out post that Oswalt bravely shared with his fans on Facebook, he makes this point clear when he states:

      Advertising

      “You will have been shown new levels of humanity and grace and intelligence by your family and friends. They will show up for you, physically and emotionally, in ways which make you take careful note, and say to yourself, “Make sure to try to do that for someone else someday.” Complete strangers will send you genuinely touching messages on Facebook and Twitter, or will somehow figure out your address to send you letters which you’ll keep and re-read ’cause you can’t believe how helpful they are. And, if you’re a parent? You’ll wish you were your kid’s age, because the way they embrace despair and joy are at a purer level that you’re going to have to reconnect with, to reach backwards through years of calcified cynicism and ironic detachment” (Oswalt, 2016 Thanks, grief.

      Stages of Grief

      In 1969 Elisabeth Kübler-Ross outlined the stages of grief, and this outline has become universally accepted as the normal human approach to loss. We do not all progress through these stages in order, but eventually, if we allow ourselves to go through the grieving process, we do seem to go through them at some point in time. The stages include denial and isolation, anger, bargaining, depression, and eventually acceptance (Axelrod, J. (2016). The 5 Stages of Loss & Grief. Psych Central.

      Advertising

      Through his very open and courageous Facebook post, we see that Oswalt is progressing through the stages of grief, and this may be due to his own resilience and/or with the help of his social support. He states that:

       “102 days into this. I was face-down and frozen for weeks. It’s 102 days later and I can confidently say I have reached a point where I’m crawling. Which, objectively, is an improvement. Maybe 102 days later…I’ll be walking” (Oswalt, 2016).

      Wife and Patton
                                                                                                                           (Photo courtesy: News.com.au)

        More by this author

        Daydreaming Indicates A Well-Equipped Brain, Study Says How Weight Lifting Can Change The Structure Of Your Brain, Science Explains Weight Lifting Might Lead To 46% Reduced Risk Of Death Applying Vicks On Your Feet Can Clear Cough? Experts Explain To The Babies Who’ve Gone to Heaven, You Won’t be Alone

        Trending in Communication

        160 Things To Be Thankful For In Life 2What To Do When You Have No Friends 3How to Keep a Conversation Going and Never Run Out of Things to Say 4Quit Your Job If You Don’t Like It, No Matter What 510 Ways To Step Out Of Your Comfort Zone And Enjoy Taking Risks

        Read Next

        Advertising
        Advertising

        Last Updated on August 20, 2018

        60 Things To Be Thankful For In Life

        60 Things To Be Thankful For In Life

        Sometimes it’s easier to focus on what we don’t have, rather than what we do have. It’s important to take time out and remember all of the things to be thankful for that many of us take for granted.

          Here you’ll find 60 very solid things to be thankful for in your everyday life. These are great reminders for you to treasure everything you have.

          1. Good Health

          Even if you’re health isn’t great, it could be worse and you likely still have some working parts to be thankful for.

          2. Money in the Bank

          Having just a few coins makes you richer than most people on Earth.

          3. Good Friends

          Often, it’s the quality of friendships, not the quantity.

          4. Freedom of Religion

          Being able to worship whomever and however you want is something many people don’t ever experience.

          5. Your Parents

          Even if they’re dysfunctional, they gave you life.

          6. Weekends

          There’s something magical about weekends.

          7.Having a Partner

          Being in a romantic relationship can teach you so much about the world and yourself.

          8. Pets

          Pets offer one of the best examples of unconditional love.

          9. Learning from Mistakes

          If we never made mistakes, we wouldn’t learn much so it is one of those things we should be thankful for.

          10. Opportunity to Get an Education

          The opportunity to attend school is something many people don’t have.

          Advertising

          11. Having a Home

          Whether you live in an apartment, a mansion, or a tent, having a place to call home is something to be thankful for.

          12. An Ability to Read

          If you’re reading this right now, you have a lot to be thankful for.

          13. Breathing Fresh Air

          Being able to step outside to breathe in fresh air is a good reminder how many little things we should be thankful for.

          14. A Bed to Sleep

          A bed is one of those things that’s easy to take for granted, until you don’t have one.

          15. Laughter

          Without laughter, the world would be a sad place.

          16. Safety and Security

          Being able to wake up without immense fear frees us up to really live life.

          17. Cars

          Without cars, it would take a lot longer to get our activities done.

          18. Sunshine

          The sun’s warmth can brighten any day.

          19. Time

          Although we often don’t think there’s enough of it, time is something we shouldn’t take for granted.

          20. Clean Water

          Many people on earth lack access to clean water.

          21. Cell Phones

          Cell phones make talking to loved ones easy.

          22. Love

          The world sure would be a different place if we lacked the ability to love.

          23. Books

          Books provide an opportunity to enter another world all from the comfort of your own home.

          Advertising

          24. Kindness of Strangers

          Never take the kindness of a stranger for granted.

          25. Campfires

          The simplicity of a campfire creates lifelong memories.

          26. Pain

          Without pain, it would be difficulty to appreciate life’s joys.

          27. Art

          The world would be less beautiful if art didn’t exist.

          28. Holidays

          Any reason to celebrate is something we should be thankful for.

          29. Freedom of Speech

          Being able to express your thoughts and feelings freely should never be taken for granted.

          30. Rainbows

          The beauty of a rainbow is unmatched.

          31. Tears

          Sometimes when there are no words to say, tears express how we feel for us.

          32. Waking up Today

          Simply waking up today means you have things to be thankful for.

          33. Indoor Plumbing

          Indoor plumbing not only provides convenience, it spares us from disease.

          34. Wisdom that Comes with Age

          Thankfully, we grow smarter over time.

          35. Mountains

          Mountains provide us with beauty and recreation.

          36. Eyesight

          Being able to see allows us to view the world’s beauty.

          Advertising

          37. Grocery Stores

          Grocery stores mean we don’t have to spend all of our time getting our own food.

          38. Sunsets

          Sunsets are a reminder that we should enjoy the simple things in life.

          39. Entertainment

          Entertainment gives us a way to relax and enjoy life.

          40. Your Mind

          Being able to think, remember, and solve problems sure makes life easier.

          41. Employment

          Even if you don’t like your job, being employed means someone thought you were special enough to hire.

          42. Diversity

          The world would be a boring place without diversity.

          43. Moon and Stars

          The moon and stars encourage us to dream.

          44. Electricity

          Electricity makes most of our chores efficient.

          45. Air Conditioning

          Staying cool on a hot day is something people wouldn’t have dreamed about in past centuries.

          46. Hearing

          Being able to hear your loved one’s voice is something that not everyone gets to do.

          47. Children

          Watching children laugh, grow, and dream can keep things in perspective.

          48. Ability to Learn

          The ability to learn new things means we have endless potential.

          49. People Willing to Teach

          Whether it’s your grandmother teaching you to knit or your plumber showing you how to prevent future problems, be grateful that others are willing to use their time and talents to teach you something new.

          Advertising

          50. Oceans

          The sea creatures in the ocean almost seem too mystical to be real.

          51. Modern Medicine

          Without advances in modern medicine, many of us wouldn’t be alive.

          52. Music

          Music brings out new emotions.

          53. Entrepreneurs

          Some of life’s best inventions resulted from an entrepreneur who was willing to take a risk.

          54. Warm Clothing

          On a cold day, there’s nothing more important than warm clothing.

          55. Freedom to Vote

          Being able to have a say in the laws should never be taken for granted.

          56. An Internet Connection

          It’s hard to believe how easy it is to take the internet for granted, seeing how none of us had just a couple of decades ago.

          57. Challenges

          Without challenges in life, we wouldn’t be the people we are now.

          58. Hiking Trails

          Hiking trails give us the chance to enjoy mother’s nature beauty.

          59. Vaccines

          Many of us wouldn’t be alive without today’s vaccinations.

          60. Armed Forces

          Our lives would likely be very different if we didn’t have protection from the armed forces.

          Realizing all the things you should be thankful for is the first step, practicing gratitude is what you should start doing:

          6 Ways To Implement More Gratitude In Your Life

          Featured photo credit: Unsplash via unsplash.com

          Read Next