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4 Reasons Why Summer Travelling Rekindles Your Soul

4 Reasons Why Summer Travelling Rekindles Your Soul

Summer is the time of the year where travelling comes into focus and self-discovery becomes an important part of it. While many prefer travelling with friends, family or even spouses, there are a certain group of people who prefer travelling alone.

These are the solo travelers. Solo travelers generally travel with one purpose: self-discovery. The calmness of our souls get disrupted during the course of our day to day lives. However, travelling to exotic places and exploring them alone allows us to rekindle our souls and refresh ourselves.

Till this very day, I crave journeys and train rides alone, it allows me to think better and understand myself more. I decided to put together a few reasons why this summer could be the change you need.

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1. Gives You a Chance to Be Exotic.

We all strive on being unique and defining ourselves, however often enough we fall into the same cycle and routine of life. The inability to cope with stressful lifestyles often push us towards depression and sadness.

One thing I’ve realized is that travelling alone allows you to be exotic or be different. Instead of adapting to the norm, you become yourself and get in touch with your own identity. Taking off the masks and being wild and free can be uplifting and produces a de stressing effect. This gives your mind the time to think and react.

Being able to breathe and ignore materialistic things allows you to reconnect with nature and get back to the basics of life.

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2. Have The Liberty to Explore.

If you’ve traveled in groups, you’ll realize it follows a typical pattern. You go around visiting every landmark, eating in expensive restaurants and visiting every museum. When its time to return, you go to shop souvenirs which might require you to purchase a second set of luggage to carry it all. You never had the liberty to explore the real culture of the country or try out any of the weird looking street food.

However, if you’re travelling alone, you’ve got the freedom to do whatever you want to do. You could go around exploring the local markets and walk around the town to meet the local people. You could sit in a local cafe and enjoy the fine coffee or go to eat some local delicacies. For example, if you’re in Iceland in August, you may have a chance to enjoy a perfect Viking dinner. If you like fermented fish, eyeballs and brains, then you will definitely be the happiest person there.

This allows you to understand yourself and other people, which becomes an important life lesson. Eventually this becomes part of your character and gives you the ammunition to take on any challenges.

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3. Food Makes the Best of Experience.

I recall travelling with my friends. Even though there are some great memories of that time, I hated the times we were dividing the bills. Its makes you forget the beautiful meal you had and leaves your mind in shambles. Deciding where to eat and budgeting a perfect place for everyone becomes a nightmare and eventually eating out becomes a tiring experience.

However, you know the best part about travelling alone is being able to eat whatever your heart desires. You get to walk around town and barge into any restaurant for hot food without worrying about sharing the bill later. You will be able to enjoy street food as well. A party in your mouth wouldn’t just be a theory, instead it will be part of your everyday travel.

Walking in China and enjoying the street food or sipping a nice cup of coffee in a cafe in Greece, the liberty of enjoying food is the best feeling ever.

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4. The Ability to Believe in Yourself.

When you follow a daily boring routine, it’s easy to stop believing in yourself. When you go through different challenges in life, you start questioning your decisions. Sometimes being surrounded by friends and family helps even less because there’s no one who can understand yourself better than yourself.

Travelling to a strange country, with strange people and being completely alone forces you to take on different challenges. You’ll be forced to be quick on your feet and will have to solve each challenges your own way. It gives you the confidence and the ability to believe in yourself and your judgments. This self-assuring confidence allows you to assess and love yourself. Instead of being your worst critic, you become your greatest lover. This new attitude eventually gets portrayed in all aspects of your life, especially your career.

In a nutshell, travelling alone rekindles your soul and gives you the self-assessment you might need after a whole year of being surrounded by work, life and routine, sometimes even the very best of people need some time to reflect.

Featured photo credit: Google Images. via aol.com

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Published on May 4, 2021

How To Spot Fake People (And Ways To Deal With Them)

How To Spot Fake People (And Ways To Deal With Them)

They say we are the average of the five persons we spend the most time with. For a minute, consider the people around you. Are they truly who your “tribe” should be or who you aspire to become in the future? Are they really genuine people who want to see you succeed? Or are they fake people who don’t really want to see you happy?

In this article, I’ll review why it is important to surround yourself with genuine individuals—the ones who care, bring something to our table, and first and foremost, who leave all fakeness behind.

How to Spot Fake People?

When you’ve been working in the helping professions for a while, spotting fake people gets a bit easier. There are some very clear signs that the person you are looking at is hiding something, acting somehow, or simply wanting to get somewhere. Most often, there is a secondary gain—perhaps attention, sympathy, or even a promotion.

Whatever it is, you’re better off working their true agenda and staying the hell away. Here are some things you should look out for to help spot fake people.

1. Full of Themselves

Fake people like to show off. They love looking at themselves in the mirror. They collect photos and videos of every single achievement they had and every part of their body and claim to be the “best at what they do.”

Most of these people are actually not that good in real life. But they act like they are and ensure that they appear better than the next person. The issue for you is that you may find yourself always feeling “beneath” them and irritated at their constant need to be in the spotlight.

2. Murky in Expressing Their Emotions

Have you ever tried having a deep and meaningful conversation with a fake person? It’s almost impossible. It’s because they have limited emotional intelligence and don’t know how they truly feel deep down—and partly because they don’t want to have their true emotions exposed, no matter how normal these might be.

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It’s much harder to say “I’m the best at what I do” while simultaneously sharing “average” emotions with “equal” people.

3. Zero Self-Reflection

To grow, we must accept feedback from others. We must be open to our strengths and to our weaknesses. We must accept that we all come in different shapes and can always improve.

Self-reflection requires us to think, forgive, admit fault, and learn from our mistakes. But to do that, we have to be able to adopt a level of genuineness and depth that fake people don’t routinely have. A fake person generally never apologizes, but when they do, it is often followed with a “but” in the next breath.

4. Unrealistic Perceptions

Fake people most often have an unrealistic perception of the world—things that they want to portray to others (pseudo achievements, materialistic gains, or a made-up sense of happiness) or simply how they genuinely regard life outside themselves.

A lot of fake people hide pain, shame, and other underlying reasons in their behavior. This could explain why they can’t be authentic and/or have difficulties seeing their environment for the way it objectively is (both good and bad).

5. Love Attention

As I mentioned earlier, the biggest sign that something isn’t quite right with someone’s behavior can be established by how much they love attention. Are you being interrupted every time you speak by someone who wants to make sure that the spotlight gets reverted back to them? Is the focus always on them, no matter the topic? If yes, you’re probably dealing with a fake person.

6. People Pleaser

Appreciation feels nice but having everyone like you is even better. While it is completely unrealistic for most people to please everyone all the time, fake people seem to always say yes in pursuit of constant approval.

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Now, this is a problem for two reasons. Firstly, these people are simply saying yes to things for their own satisfaction. Secondly, they often end up changing their minds or retracting their offer for one reason or another (“I would have loved to, but my grandmother suddenly fell ill.”), leaving you in the lurch for the 100th time this year.

7. Sarcasm and Cynicism

Behind the chronic pasted smile, fake people are well known for brewing resentment, jealousy, or anger. This is because, behind the postcard life, they are often unhappy. Sarcasm and cynicism are well known to act as a defense mechanism, sometimes even a diversion—anything so they can remain feeling on top of the world, whether it is through boosting themselves or bringing people down.

8. Crappy friend

Fake people are bad friends. They don’t listen to you, your feelings, and whatever news you might have to share. In fact, you might find yourself migrating away from them when you have exciting or bad news to share, knowing that it will always end up one way—their way. In addition, you might find that they’re not available when you truly need them or worse, cancel plans at the last minute.

It’s not unusual to hear that a fake person talks constantly behind people’s backs. Let’s be honest, if they do it to others, they’re doing it to you too. If your “friend” makes you feel bad constantly, trust me, they’re not achieving their purpose, and they’re simply not a good person to have around.

The sooner you learn to spot these fake people, the sooner you can meet meaningful individuals again.

How to Cope With Fake People Moving Forward?

It is important to remind yourself that you deserve more than what you’re getting. You are worthy, valuable, precious, and just as important as the next person.

There are many ways to manage fake people. Here are some tips on how to deal with them.

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1. Boundaries

Keep your boundaries very clear. As explained in the book Unlock Your Resilience, boundaries are what keep you sane when the world tries to suffocate you. When fake people become emotional vampires, make sure to keep your distances, limit contact, and simply replace them with more valuable interactions.

2. Don’t Take Their Behavior Personally

Sadly, they most likely have behaved this way before they knew you and will continue much longer after you have moved on. It isn’t about you. It is about their inner need to meet a void that you are not responsible for. And in all honesty, unless you are a trained professional, you are unlikely to improve it anyway.

3. Be Upfront and Honest About How You Feel

If your “friend” has been hurtful or engaged in behaviors you struggle with, let them know—nicely, firmly, however you want, but let them know that they are affecting you. If it works, great. If it doesn’t, you’ll feel better and when you’re ready to move on, you’ll know you tried to reach out. Your conscience is clear.

4. Ask for Advice

If you’re unsure about what you’re seeing or feeling, ask for advice. Perhaps a relative, a good friend, or a colleague might have some input as to whether you are overreacting or seeing some genuine concerns.

Now, don’t confuse asking for advice with gossiping behind the fake person’s back because, in the end, you don’t want to stoop down to their level. However, a little reminder as to how to stay on your own wellness track can never hurt.

5. Dig Deeper

Now, this one, I offer with caution. If you are emotionally strong, up to it, guaranteed you won’t get sucked into it, and have the skills to manage, perhaps you could dig into the reasons a fake person is acting the way they do.

Have they suffered recent trauma? Have they been rejected all their lives? Is their self-esteem so low that they must resort to making themselves feel good in any way they can? Sometimes, having an understanding of a person’s behavior can help in processing it.

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6. Practice Self-Care!

Clearly, putting some distance between the fake person and yourself is probably the way to go. However, sometimes, it takes time to get there. In the meantime, make sure to practice self-care, be gentle with yourself, and compensate with lots of positives!

Self-care can be as simple as taking a hot shower after talking to them or declining an invitation when you’re not feeling up to the challenge.

Spotting fake people isn’t too hard. They generally glow with wanna-be vibes. However, most often, there are reasons as to why they are like this. Calling their behavior might be the first step. Providing them with support might be the second. But if these don’t work, it’s time to stay away and surround yourself with the positivity that you deserve.

Final Thoughts

Remember that life is a rollercoaster. It has good moments, tough moments, and moments you wouldn’t change for the world. So, look around and make sure that you take the time to choose the right people to share it all with.

We are the average of the five people we spend the most time with, so take a good look around and choose wisely!

More Tips on Dealing With Fake People

Featured photo credit: Priscilla Du Preez via unsplash.com

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