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Are Times Tough? Hone These 3 Virtues To Make You Tougher

Are Times Tough? Hone These 3 Virtues To Make You Tougher

Whether you like it or not, whether you have accepted it or not, the fact still remains that all actions have consequences. In some scenarios, the consequence may be a positive one. In others, the consequences come as a form of punishment or repercussions for careless, reckless, and ignorant behavior. Regardless of whatever the case may be, I am not here to judge or condemn. The intention of this article is to get you to focus on specific attributes that will help guide you through your toughest of times. Let me start off by admitting that I have put myself in more than my fair share of precarious positions in the past. Thankfully, I’ve been able to make it out of every single one of them alive. Now, it is my duty to share with you the 3 virtues that helped me endure my trying times. These virtues have helped me get through every single one of my bad days and will continue to get me through any rough patches I may stumble across. Hone these 3 virtues and evolve into the strongest version of yourself.

1. Patience

I’m sure you’ve heard the old adage that patience is a virtue. Not only is it a virtue, it is one of the most important virtues one can possess. Especially in times of crisis. Demonstrating patience can be the difference between getting caught in the middle of the storm or seeking refuge and restrategizing until the storm blows over. Circumstances may not be ideal, they may even be catastrophic. But if you’ve already done all that you can do, the only thing left to do is to trust your survival instincts and patiently wait as the world revolves around you. Don’t rush into making decisions. Let thing’s play themselves out. When opportunity presents itself to you, seize the moment!

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2. Timing

Patience and timing go hand-in-hand with one another. By demonstrating good patience, opportunity will eventually arise. Once that opportunity does arise, it is solely your responsibility to recognize and take advantage of it. That is when timing truly becomes everything. We, as humans, should always be honing this virtue. Timing can virtually affect every aspect of your life, from relationships, to health, to work, to finances, to whatever you can name; timing impacts it. Timing is often overlooked and some embrace tardiness as almost a social norm. Let me ask you this; how trustworthy is the person that is constantly late, says or does inappropriate things at inappropriate times, or doesn’t know when to seal the deal?

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3. Confidence

Confidence is widely known as the most attractive quality one can possess. Why is that? Because confidence is believing in yourself. Confidence is trusting yourself. There is nothing more appealing than someone who believes in themselves. When you exude confidence, who’s going to doubt your abilities? Having the confidence in knowing that everything will be alright as opposed to casting doubt can literally help change the way your body performs. Studies have proven that self-confidence directly correlates with performance. Instead of worrying and doubting your abilities, remember that you’ve made it through 100% of your bad days. Know that you will be able to handle whatever is coming your way. Even if the situation is out of your control, have confidence that things will eventually work out. Have confidence in your faith. Have confidence in humanity. Regardless of what happens, don’t lose confidence. Having confidence will give you strength and courage in times where it may be lacking.

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Be The Best Version Of Yourself

Unfortunately, pain and suffering will always be a part of life. The good news is that since information is available at our fingertips, new treatments and techniques to manage pain and suffering will always surface. Honing these three virtues will not guarantee invincibility (nothing is guaranteed, except death and taxes). But when you develop and strengthen these virtues—which every human possesses– your perception will change, emotions will be easier to manage, and you will suffer less anxiety. I could almost guarantee that developing these three virtues would be life changing, but you know my stance on guarantees. Instead of taking my word for it, why don’t you try it for yourself? You have nothing to lose and the world to gain!

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Last Updated on August 6, 2020

6 Reasons Why You Should Think Before You Speak

6 Reasons Why You Should Think Before You Speak

We’ve all done it. That moment when a series of words slithers from your mouth and the instant regret manifests through blushing and profuse apologies. If you could just think before you speak! It doesn’t have to be like this, and with a bit of practice, it’s actually quite easy to prevent.

“Think twice before you speak, because your words and influence will plant the seed of either success or failure in the mind of another.” – Napolean Hill

Are we speaking the same language?

My mum recently left me a note thanking me for looking after her dog. She’d signed it with “LOL.” In my world, this means “laugh out loud,” and in her world it means “lots of love.” My kids tell me things are “sick” when they’re good, and ”manck” when they’re bad (when I say “bad,” I don’t mean good!). It’s amazing that we manage to communicate at all.

When speaking, we tend to color our language with words and phrases that have become personal to us, things we’ve picked up from our friends, families and even memes from the internet. These colloquialisms become normal, and we expect the listener (or reader) to understand “what we mean.” If you really want the listener to understand your meaning, try to use words and phrases that they might use.

Am I being lazy?

When you’ve been in a relationship for a while, a strange metamorphosis takes place. People tend to become lazier in the way that they communicate with each other, with less thought for the feelings of their partner. There’s no malice intended; we just reach a “comfort zone” and know that our partners “know what we mean.”

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Here’s an exchange from Psychology Today to demonstrate what I mean:

Early in the relationship:

“Honey, I don’t want you to take this wrong, but I’m noticing that your hair is getting a little thin on top. I know guys are sensitive about losing their hair, but I don’t want someone else to embarrass you without your expecting it.”

When the relationship is established:

“Did you know that you’re losing a lot of hair on the back of your head? You’re combing it funny and it doesn’t help. Wear a baseball cap or something if you feel weird about it. Lots of guys get thin on top. It’s no big deal.”

It’s pretty clear which of these statements is more empathetic and more likely to be received well. Recognizing when we do this can be tricky, but with a little practice it becomes easy.

Have I actually got anything to say?

When I was a kid, my gran used to say to me that if I didn’t have anything good to say, I shouldn’t say anything at all. My gran couldn’t stand gossip, so this makes total sense, but you can take this statement a little further and modify it: “If you don’t have anything to say, then don’t say anything at all.”

A lot of the time, people speak to fill “uncomfortable silences,” or because they believe that saying something, anything, is better than staying quiet. It can even be a cause of anxiety for some people.

When somebody else is speaking, listen. Don’t wait to speak. Listen. Actually hear what that person is saying, think about it, and respond if necessary.

Am I painting an accurate picture?

One of the most common forms of miscommunication is the lack of a “referential index,” a type of generalization that fails to refer to specific nouns. As an example, look at these two simple phrases: “Can you pass me that?” and “Pass me that thing over there!”. How often have you said something similar?

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How is the listener supposed to know what you mean? The person that you’re talking to will start to fill in the gaps with something that may very well be completely different to what you mean. You’re thinking “pass me the salt,” but you get passed the pepper. This can be infuriating for the listener, and more importantly, can create a lack of understanding and ultimately produce conflict.

Before you speak, try to label people, places and objects in a way that it is easy for any listeners to understand.

What words am I using?

It’s well known that our use of nouns and verbs (or lack of them) gives an insight into where we grew up, our education, our thoughts and our feelings.

Less well known is that the use of pronouns offers a critical insight into how we emotionally code our sentences. James Pennebaker’s research in the 1990’s concluded that function words are important keys to someone’s psychological state and reveal much more than content words do.

Starting a sentence with “I think…” demonstrates self-focus rather than empathy with the speaker, whereas asking the speaker to elaborate or quantify what they’re saying clearly shows that you’re listening and have respect even if you disagree.

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Is the map really the territory?

Before speaking, we sometimes construct a scenario that makes us act in a way that isn’t necessarily reflective of the actual situation.

A while ago, John promised to help me out in a big way with a project that I was working on. After an initial meeting and some big promises, we put together a plan and set off on its execution. A week or so went by, and I tried to get a hold of John to see how things were going. After voice mails and emails with no reply and general silence, I tried again a week later and still got no response.

I was frustrated and started to get more than a bit vexed. The project obviously meant more to me than it did to him, and I started to construct all manner of crazy scenarios. I finally got through to John and immediately started a mild rant about making promises you can’t keep. He stopped me in my tracks with the news that his brother had died. If I’d have just thought before I spoke…

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