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Silence Avoids Confrontation, But It Can End Your Relationship Without Notice

Silence Avoids Confrontation, But It Can End Your Relationship Without Notice

Communication is the lifeblood of all successful relationships, whether these are personal in nature or connected to the business world. So just as silence and inactivity can undermine new business connections, it can also create distance within a romantic relationship and sever it without warning.

How Silence Can Impact Negatively on Relationships, Regardless of Our Intentions

The issue with this is that silence can often be used to avoid conflict in a relationship, particularly during times of stress and/or in instances where one partner is particularly dominant. This can subsequently cause significant issues and divides in the relationship, primarily for the following reasons.

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1. Silence can be used as a form of manipulation.

On a fundamental level, such silence speaks to an absence of verbal and, in some instances, emotional intimacy. It can even manifest itself as a form of sub-conscious control, as silence creates the impression that there is an issue or emotional state that is simply too difficult or sensitive to talk about.

An unwillingness to communicate feelings with a loved one (regardless of the reasons for this) can subsequently leave others feeling as though they are being punished for a perceived wrong, forcing submissive individuals to attempt to placate their partner as a direct response.

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2. These false assumptions can compound relationship issues.

As we can see, calculated or unavoidable silence can have an indirect influence on people’s thoughts and subsequent behavior. More specifically, it can create an internal narrative in the human mind, which unchecked simply reaffirms that negative perceptions that have been project through a lack of communication. These emotions are based on assumptions about the gravity of the triggers that are causing such silence and introverted behavior.

These assumptions only compound any issues that may exist in the relationship, particularly in instances where silence is being used as a weapon of control.

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3. Silence merely creates the illusion of peace.

Perhaps the biggest issue with silence is that creates the illusion of peace, particularly among those who tend to be more submissive by nature. They can be misled into believing that silence is preferable to an argument, but this is self-injurious as this invalidates them and their own opinions. It is also less preferable to a frank exchange of ideas, which can identify the root cause and expedite resolutions.

Sadly, silence only exacerbates issues and creates distance in a relationship, while preventing couples from resolving their differences.

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How to Overcome Silence in a Relationship

Silence in a relationship creates division, as individuals seek out their own private sanctuaries such as a second bedroom or a specially-designed man cave. It is not enough to say that people simply need to communicate more, however, as this proves ineffective in the case where one partner is continually silent or emotionally absent.

Instead, the key is to focus on the effectiveness of your communication and learning how to be heard, which is a skill that can be taught through assertiveness classes and similar educational tools. While you develop these communication skills and understand how to break down a wall of silence, you can also look to alleviate the issue by creating deliberate, short-term distance that leads to a period of reflection. This negates the effect of silence and simultaneously allows both parties to deal with their emotions.

It is also important to heed the message of this article and understand the impact that silence has in our own mind. If we are silent, this is either because we need help tapping into our emotions or are trying to condition a response in our partners. If you are constantly attempting to communicate with a silent partner, you must strive to avoid making assumptions and instead take practical steps to increasing the level of communication that exists within the relationship.

Featured photo credit: Nick Fuentes via flickr.com

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Last Updated on October 17, 2019

How to Spend More Quality Time with Your Partner

How to Spend More Quality Time with Your Partner

You see your partner every single day. They are the first person you talk to in the morning and the last person you kiss goodnight.

But does seeing each other day in and day out equal a healthy relationship? Not necessarily.

Spending quality time with your partner is the best way to ensure your relationship stays healthy and strong. This means going above and beyond sitting together while you watch Netflix or going out for the occasional dinner. You deserve more from your relationship – and so does your spouse!

What does quality time mean? It means spending time with your spouse without interruption. It’s a chance for you to come together and talk. Communication will build emotional intimacy and trust.

Quality time is also about expressing love in a physical way. Not sex, necessarily (but that’s great, too!) but through hand-holding, cuddling, caressing, and tickling. Studies show that these displays of affection will boost partner satisfaction.[1]

So how do you spend quality time with your partner? Here are 13 relationship tips on making the most out of your time with your partner.

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1. Recognize the Signs

If you want a healthy relationship, you have to learn how to recognize the signs that you need to spend more quality time together.

Some telltale signs include:

  • You’re always on your phones.
  • You value friendships or hobbies over quality time with your spouse.
  • You aren’t together during important events.
  • You are arguing more often or lack connection.
  • You don’t make plans or date nights.
  • You’re not happy.

If you are experiencing any of these relationship symptoms, know that quality time together can reverse the negative effects of the signs above.

2. Try New Things Together

Have you ever wanted to learn how to play an instrument or speak another language? How about skydive or ballroom dance?

Instead of viewing these as solo hobbies and interests, why not involve your partner?

Trying new activities together builds healthy relationships because it encourages spouses to rely on one another for emotional and physical support.

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Shared hobbies also promote marital friendship, and the Journal of Happiness Studies found that marital satisfaction was twice as high for couples who viewed each other as best friends.[2]

3. Schedule in Tech-Free Time

Your phone is a great way to listen to music, watch videos, and keep up-to-date with friends and family. But is your phone good for your relationship?

Many couples phone snub, or ‘phub’, one another. Studies show that phubbing can lower relationship satisfaction and increase one’s chances of depression.[3]

Reduce those chances by removing distractions when spending quality time together and showing your partner they have your full attention.

4. Hit the Gym as a Couple

One way you can spend more time together as a couple is by becoming workout partners. Studies show that couples are more likely to stay with their exercise routine if they work out together.[4] Couples also work out harder than they would solo. One study found that 95 percent of couples who work out together maintained weight loss compares to the 66 percent of singles who did.[5]

Join a gym, do at-home couples’ workouts, try couples yoga, hit the hiking trails, or get your bikes out. No matter which way you choose to exercise, these healthy activities can promote a healthy relationship.

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5. Cook Meals Together

Pop open a bottle of wine or put some romantic music on while you get busy – in the kitchen, of course!

One of the best relationship tips for spending quality time together when you both have busy schedules is to cook meals together.[6]

Spice things up and try and prepare a four-course meal or a fancy French dish together. Not only is this a fun way to spend your time together, but it also promotes teamwork.

If all goes well, you’ll have a romantic date night meal at home that you prepared with your four hands. And if the food didn’t turn out the way you’d hoped, you are guaranteed to have a laugh and create new memories together.

6. Have a Regular Date Night

Couples experience a greater sense of happiness and less stress when they are spending quality time together.[7] One of the biggest relationship tips for a healthy partnership is to include a date night in your weekly routine.

The National Marriage Project found that having a weekly date night can make your relationship seem more exciting and helps prevent relationship boredom.[8] It also lowers the probability of divorce, improves your sex life, and increases healthy communication.

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Some great ideas for what to do on your date night include:

  • Have a movie marathon – Gather up your favorite flicks and cuddle up on the couch.
  • Play games together – Cards, board games, video games, and other creative outlets are a fun way to spend quality time together.
  • Recreate your first date – Go back to that restaurant and order the same meal you did when you first got together. You can spice up your evening by pretending you’re strangers meeting for the first time and see how sexy the night gets.
  • Plan a weekend getaway – There’s nothing better than traveling with the one you love.
  • Dinner and a movie – A classic!
  • Try a new restaurant – Make it your mission to rate and try all of the Mexican restaurants/Irish pubs/Italian trattorias in your area.
  • Have a long sex session – Intimacy promotes the release of the oxytocin hormone which is responsible for a myriad of great feelings.[9]

Here’re even more date night ideas for your reference: 50 Unique and Really Fun Date Ideas for Couples

Final Thoughts

The benefits of spending quality time together are endless. Here are just some of the ways it can contribute to a healthy relationship:

  • Improves emotional and physical intimacy
  • Lowers divorce rates
  • Improves communication
  • Reduces marital boredom
  • Bonds couples closer
  • Improves friendship
  • Boosts health
  • Reduces stress

These are all excellent reasons to start making date night a regular part of your week.

It’s easy to have a healthy relationship when you set aside dedicated time to share with your spouse. Try new things together, make your spouse your workout buddy, and look for innovative ways to be close and connected.

These relationship tips will bring great benefits to your marriage.

Featured photo credit: Allen Taylor via unsplash.com

Reference

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