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Silence Avoids Confrontation, But It Can End Your Relationship Without Notice

Silence Avoids Confrontation, But It Can End Your Relationship Without Notice

Communication is the lifeblood of all successful relationships, whether these are personal in nature or connected to the business world. So just as silence and inactivity can undermine new business connections, it can also create distance within a romantic relationship and sever it without warning.

How Silence Can Impact Negatively on Relationships, Regardless of Our Intentions

The issue with this is that silence can often be used to avoid conflict in a relationship, particularly during times of stress and/or in instances where one partner is particularly dominant. This can subsequently cause significant issues and divides in the relationship, primarily for the following reasons.

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1. Silence can be used as a form of manipulation.

On a fundamental level, such silence speaks to an absence of verbal and, in some instances, emotional intimacy. It can even manifest itself as a form of sub-conscious control, as silence creates the impression that there is an issue or emotional state that is simply too difficult or sensitive to talk about.

An unwillingness to communicate feelings with a loved one (regardless of the reasons for this) can subsequently leave others feeling as though they are being punished for a perceived wrong, forcing submissive individuals to attempt to placate their partner as a direct response.

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2. These false assumptions can compound relationship issues.

As we can see, calculated or unavoidable silence can have an indirect influence on people’s thoughts and subsequent behavior. More specifically, it can create an internal narrative in the human mind, which unchecked simply reaffirms that negative perceptions that have been project through a lack of communication. These emotions are based on assumptions about the gravity of the triggers that are causing such silence and introverted behavior.

These assumptions only compound any issues that may exist in the relationship, particularly in instances where silence is being used as a weapon of control.

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3. Silence merely creates the illusion of peace.

Perhaps the biggest issue with silence is that creates the illusion of peace, particularly among those who tend to be more submissive by nature. They can be misled into believing that silence is preferable to an argument, but this is self-injurious as this invalidates them and their own opinions. It is also less preferable to a frank exchange of ideas, which can identify the root cause and expedite resolutions.

Sadly, silence only exacerbates issues and creates distance in a relationship, while preventing couples from resolving their differences.

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How to Overcome Silence in a Relationship

Silence in a relationship creates division, as individuals seek out their own private sanctuaries such as a second bedroom or a specially-designed man cave. It is not enough to say that people simply need to communicate more, however, as this proves ineffective in the case where one partner is continually silent or emotionally absent.

Instead, the key is to focus on the effectiveness of your communication and learning how to be heard, which is a skill that can be taught through assertiveness classes and similar educational tools. While you develop these communication skills and understand how to break down a wall of silence, you can also look to alleviate the issue by creating deliberate, short-term distance that leads to a period of reflection. This negates the effect of silence and simultaneously allows both parties to deal with their emotions.

It is also important to heed the message of this article and understand the impact that silence has in our own mind. If we are silent, this is either because we need help tapping into our emotions or are trying to condition a response in our partners. If you are constantly attempting to communicate with a silent partner, you must strive to avoid making assumptions and instead take practical steps to increasing the level of communication that exists within the relationship.

Featured photo credit: Nick Fuentes via flickr.com

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Last Updated on December 2, 2018

7 Public Speaking Techniques To Help Connect With Your Audience

7 Public Speaking Techniques To Help Connect With Your Audience

When giving a presentation or speech, you have to engage your audience effectively in order to truly get your point across. Unlike a written editorial or newsletter, your speech is fleeting; once you’ve said everything you set out to say, you don’t get a second chance to have your voice heard in that specific arena.

You need to make sure your audience hangs on to every word you say, from your introduction to your wrap-up. You can do so by:

1. Connecting them with each other

Picture your typical rock concert. What’s the first thing the singer says to the crowd after jumping out on stage? “Hello (insert city name here)!” Just acknowledging that he’s coherent enough to know where he is is enough for the audience to go wild and get into the show.

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It makes each individual feel as if they’re a part of something bigger. The same goes for any public speaking event. When an audience hears, “You’re all here because you care deeply about wildlife preservation,” it gives them a sense that they’re not just there to listen, but they’re there to connect with the like-minded people all around them.

2. Connect with their emotions

Speakers always try to get their audience emotionally involved in whatever topic they’re discussing. There are a variety of ways in which to do this, such as using statistics, stories, pictures or videos that really show the importance of the topic at hand.

For example, showing pictures of the aftermath of an accident related to drunk driving will certainly send a specific message to an audience of teenagers and young adults. While doing so might be emotionally nerve-racking to the crowd, it may be necessary to get your point across and engage them fully.

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3. Keep going back to the beginning

Revisit your theme throughout your presentation. Although you should give your audience the credit they deserve and know that they can follow along, linking back to your initial thesis can act as a subconscious reminder of why what you’re currently telling them is important.

On the other hand, if you simply mention your theme or the point of your speech at the beginning and never mention it again, it gives your audience the impression that it’s not really that important.

4. Link to your audience’s motivation

After you’ve acknowledged your audience’s common interests in being present, discuss their motivation for being there. Be specific. Using the previous example, if your audience clearly cares about wildlife preservation, discuss what can be done to help save endangered species’ from extinction.

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Don’t just give them cold, hard facts; use the facts to make a point that they can use to better themselves or the world in some way.

5. Entertain them

While not all speeches or presentations are meant to be entertaining in a comedic way, audiences will become thoroughly engaged in anecdotes that relate to the overall theme of the speech. We discussed appealing to emotions, and that’s exactly what a speaker sets out to do when he tells a story from his past or that of a well-known historical figure.

Speakers usually tell more than one story in order to show that the first one they told isn’t simply an anomaly, and that whatever outcome they’re attempting to prove will consistently reoccur, given certain circumstances.

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6. Appeal to loyalty

Just like the musician mentioning the town he’s playing in will get the audience ready to rock, speakers need to appeal to their audience’s loyalty to their country, company, product or cause. Show them how important it is that they’re present and listening to your speech by making your words hit home to each individual.

In doing so, the members of your audience will feel as if you’re speaking directly to them while you’re addressing the entire crowd.

7. Tell them the benefits of the presentation

Early on in your presentation, you should tell your audience exactly what they’ll learn, and exactly how they’ll learn it. Don’t expect them to listen if they don’t have clear-cut information to listen for. On the other hand, if they know what to listen for, they’ll be more apt to stay engaged throughout your entire presentation so they don’t miss anything.

Featured photo credit: Flickr via farm4.staticflickr.com

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