Advertising
Advertising

5 Things to Consider Before Your Child Abandons Music Lessons

5 Things to Consider Before Your Child Abandons Music Lessons

There are plenty of reasons to start learning music – but, what about reasons to stop? Enrolling your kids in music lessons is an exciting new journey, especially if you’re a music lover yourself. Studies have found that kids who take music lessons perform better in math, exercise greater patience, and are more collaborative in nature.

There comes a time in every music-practicing family, however, when your child asks to stop taking music lessons. The reasons for the request vary, but almost every parent will run into this at some point – and parents should think twice before granting the request. It’s okay for children to stop doing an activity they don’t enjoy. But make sure your kids are quitting for the right reasons; otherwise, they may miss out on an enjoyable and fulfilling lifelong hobby. It’s not often that music teachers hear adults regret having stuck with their music lessons as a child – it’s typically the other way around.

Keep these considerations in mind before allowing your child to ditch music lessons for good.

Advertising

The Instrument

If your child expresses disinterest in music lessons, perhaps it’s time to switch instruments. Ask her instructor about other lessons – the teacher may have a good recommendation, or may allow your child to test out a new instrument. Sometimes, adding a second instrument can provide a new level of excitement about music education – and renew interest in the first instrument. Understanding the way instruments work together brings in a new component to music lessons, and may re-energize interest.

There’s another psychological component at work here: if your child feels like the decision of what instrument to play was made by parents, he or she may not feel as much ownership over the activity. This can change entirely, if you give the decision back to the student. Talk with your music lesson provider about the options available to your children – then, come up with a plan to either integrate a second instrument, or replace the first one with something new (that your child chooses herself!).

Scheduling

Take a hard look at everything going on in your child’s schedule – between school, extracurricular, and social activities, is your child getting enough down time? Contemporary research shows that children who are over-programmed have higher levels of stress, and depression. It’s tough to know where to draw the line. Which is more important – music lessons, or sports? Homework, or choir practice? Are all of the activities in your child’s life feeding long-term goals, or are some just arbitrary?

Advertising

Start by looking at your child’s current schedule, and ask which activities he or she likes the most – then, ask what he or she wishes there was more time to do. Point out the gains the child has made in each area, and decide if some things can drop from the schedule, to allow more time for music lessons and practice. Remember that practicing is a huge part of learning music – if your child’s schedule doesn’t leave enough time to practice, music lessons can start to feel stagnated or stressful, as progress becomes more difficult. Perhaps there is a way to cut back on music responsibilities, but still remain in lessons. Before you make the drastic decision to completely stop lessons, look for ways to rearrange or build time in your kids’ schedules.

Motivation for Lessons

When music lessons begin to feel overwhelming, consider the whole point of taking them in the first place. Many extracurricular activities for kids are designed with fun in mind, but music goes deeper than that. When kids experience challenges in music lessons, it may seem easier (in their minds) to simply stop taking lessons – but often this isn’t the best policy. Some of the world’s greatest musicians bloomed late in life. If they had abandoned their dreams based on difficulty, the world would have never known showstoppers like Leonard Cohen, Susan Boyle, or Sheryl Crow.

Ask yourself – why did you enroll your children in music lessons? You probably enrolled them because learning music builds confidence, boosts academic performance, and stimulates brain waves – the challenges that arise are part of that quality-building process. Anything worthwhile in life comes with some difficulty, and takes hard work to accomplish; your child may be too young to understand that yet. If your child is asking to stop taking lessons, ask why. If it’s because it’s “too hard,” have an honest conversation about how challenges bring opportunities. Ask how you can help get your child past the current obstacle, and encourage him or her to ask for more guidance from the instructor – this is a great opportunity to learn firsthand the triumph that comes with overcoming a challenge.

Advertising

The Parent

This may be the most difficult factor to consider, as it requires some self-reflection. As a parent, ask yourself if you could be doing more to support your child’s musical learning. It’s easy to assume the responsibility for nurturing musical growth lies with the paid instructor, but in truth, parents share in this role. It may not be enough to tell your child to practice; sit down with your kids while they play – give instruction if you know how to play, or simply give encouraging feedback. Perhaps sit in on some of their lessons, and get excited about performances.

Remember that part of the satisfaction kids experience from music lessons is pleasing their parents. Show your kids that you’re proud of them, especially in times when the lessons seem particularly difficult. If you want to foster their musical interest, don’t complain in front of your child about the time it takes, or the cost of the lessons. When your kids see that you are completely on board with lessons, they will have more enthusiasm too.

Don’t Quit for the Wrong Reasons

If your child truly doesn’t enjoy his or her musical activity, it’s okay to stop taking lessons, or change course with a new instrument. Children often don’t have the emotional insight to analyze their own feelings accurately – so it’s your job as a parent, to help figure out if your child actually dislikes music, or if there’s something else at play.

Advertising

Before you throw in the towel on music lessons as a whole, think about the reasons behind your child’s request to quit. How can you better accommodate the lessons in your family schedule to keep them? Does your child have the big picture in mind? Parents have the responsibility to look at music lessons – and all character-building endeavors – from every angle, before making any permanent decisions. Down the road, you won’t likely regret the decision to persevere with your child’s lessons – but you might have second thoughts if your child abandons music too young.

Featured photo credit: Shutterstock via shutterstock.com

More by this author

Jennifer Paterson

President of California Music Studios

music How to Relieve Stress Through Music 8 Surprising Benefits of Music Improvisation music lessons 5 Things to Consider Before Your Child Abandons Music Lessons global music Top 11 Most Unique Musical Instruments From Around the Globe musician A Life of Music: 8 Careers for the Musician

Trending in Child Education

1 Research Finds The Effects Of Homework On Elementary School Students, And The Results Are Surprising 2 5 Tips For Teaching Money Management To Children 3 If You Want Your Kids To Be Successful, Don’t Protect Them In This Way 4 Helpful Things Your Child Should Learn Before They Turn 18 5 The Lessons Chess Can Teach Your Children

Read Next

Advertising
Advertising
Advertising

Published on April 9, 2021

50 Single Mom Quotes On Staying Strong And Loving

50 Single Mom Quotes On Staying Strong And Loving

Being a mom is not easy. Being a single mom is even more challenging. Having children means you are on the job 24/7. Even while you are sleeping, you are still ready to wake at the slightest peep because that is what moms do.

Moms, especially single moms, need more people cheering them on. Your love and care matter to your kids. You are their superhero. I think single moms are superheroes, too.

Advertising

The quotes below are words of encouragement for all of the single moms out there. Keep up the great work! Your hard work will pay off. Someday, they will be grown up and living on their own. Your job will never truly be done as a mom, but you can pat yourself on the back today and every day for doing mom duty day in and day out.

Here are 50 single mom quotes to encourage all the single moms out there.

Advertising

  1. “Being raised by a single mother, I learned to appreciate and value independent women.”—Kenny Conley
  2. “As a single mum you’ll discover inner strengths and capabilities you never knew you had.”—Emma-Louise Smith
  3. “One thing I know for sure – this motherhood thing is not for sissies.”—Jennifer Nettles
  4. “Mothers and their children are in a category all their own. There’s no bond so strong in the entire world. No love so instantaneous and forgiving.”—Gail Tsukiyama
  5. “And one day she discovered that she was fierce and strong, and full of fire and that not even she could hold herself back because her passion burned brighter than her fears.”—Mark Anthony
  6. “She never quite leaves her children at home, even when she doesn’t take them along.”—Margaret Culkin Banning
  7. “The most common way people give up their power is by thinking they don’t have any.”—Alice Walker
  8. “Everyone has inside of her a piece of good news. The good news is that you don’t know how great you can be, how much you can love, what you can accomplish, and what your potential is.”—Anne Frank
  9. “Doubt is a killer. You just have to know who you are and what you stand for.”—Jennifer Lopez
  10. “You are more powerful than you know; you are beautiful just as you are.”—Melissa Etheridge
  11. “Motherhood is the greatest thing and the hardest thing.”—Ricki Lake
  12. “You don’t take a class; you’re thrown into motherhood and learn from experience.”—Jennie Finch
  13. “If you look at what you have in life, you’ll always have more. If you look at what you don’t have in life, you’ll never have enough.”—Oprah Winfrey
  14. “I am no bird; and no net ensnares me: I am a free human being with an independent will.”—Charlotte Brontë
  15. “Above all, be the heroine of your life, not the victim.”—Nora Ephron
  16. “When a woman becomes her own best friend life is easier.”—Diane Von Furstenberg
  17. “If you want something said, ask a man; if you want something done, ask a woman.”—Margaret Thatcher
  18. “Women have discovered that they cannot rely on men’s chivalry to give them justice.”—Helen Keller
  19. “Successful mothers are not the ones that have never struggled. They are the ones that never give up, despite the struggles.”—Sharon Jaynes
  20. “Success, they taught me, is built on the foundation of courage, hard work, and individual responsibility. Despite what some would have us believe, success is not built on resentment and fears.”—Susana Martinez
  21. “You may not control all the events that happen to you, but you can decide not to be reduced by them.”—Maya Angelou
  22. “The question isn’t who’s going to let me; it’s who is going to stop me.”—Ayn Rand
  23. “God could not be everywhere, and therefore he made mothers.”—Rudyard Kipling
  24. “The women whom I love and admire for their strength and grace did not get that way because stuff worked out. They got that way because stuff went wrong, and they handled it. They handled it in a thousand different ways on a thousand different days, but they handled it. Those women are my superheroes.”—Elizabeth Gilbert
  25. “There will be so many times you feel like you failed. But in the eyes, ears, and mind of your child, you are a SUPER MOM.”—Stephanie Precourt
  26. “Motherhood is the ultimate call to sacrifice.”—Wangechi Mutu
  27. “We may encounter many defeats but we must not be defeated.”—Maya Angelou
  28. “A mother’s arms are more comforting than anyone else’s.”—Princess Diana
  29. “There’s no way to be a perfect mother and a million ways to be a good one.”—Jill Churchill
  30. “There’s no doubt that motherhood is the best thing in my life. It’s all that really matters.”—Courtney Cox
  31. “I realized when you look at your mother, you are looking at the purest love you will ever know.”—Mitch Albom
  32. “I have found being a mother has made me emotionally raw in many situations. Your heart is beating outside your body when you have a baby.”—Kate Beckinsale
  33. “Single moms, you are a doctor, a teacher, a nurse, a maid, a cook, a referee, a heroine, a provider, a defender, a protector, a true Superwoman. Wear your cape proudly.”—Mandy Hale
  34. “I’m not really single. I mean, I am, but I have a son. Being a single mother is different from being a single woman.”—Kate Hudson
  35. “Being a single parent is twice the work, twice the stress, and twice the tears but also twice the hugs, twice the love, and twice the pride.”—Unknown
  36. “For me, motherhood is learning about the strengths I didn’t know I had, and dealing with the fears I didn’t know existed.”—Halle Berry
  37. “A single mom tries when things are hard. She never gives up. She believes in her family, even when things are tough. She knows that above all things… a mother’s love is more than enough.”—Denice Williams
  38. “You do the best you can. Some days you feel really good about yourself and some days you don’t.”—Katie Holmes
  39. “I would say to any single parent currently feeling the weight of stereotype or stigmatization that I am prouder of my years as a single mother than of any other part of my life.”JK Rowling
  40. “Just because I am a single mother doesn’t mean I cannot be a success.”—Yvonne Kaloki
  41. “I didn’t plan on being a single mom, but you have to deal with the cards you are dealt the best way you can.”—Tichina Arnold
  42. “Nothing you do for children is ever wasted.”—Garrison Keillor
  43. “A single mom tries when things are hard. She never gives up. She believes in her family, even when things are tough. She knows that above all things, a mother’s love is more than enough.”—Deniece Williams
  44. “Motherhood has a very humanizing effect. Everything gets reduced to essentials.”—Meryl Streep
  45. “Having kids—the responsibility of rearing good, kind, ethical, responsible human beings—is the biggest job anyone can embark on.”—Maria Shriver
  46. “Mother is a verb. It’s something you do. Not just who you are.”—Cheryl Lacey Donovan
  47. “A mother’s love for her child is like nothing else in the world. It knows no law, no pity, it dates all things and crushes down remorselessly all that stands in its path.”—Agatha Christie
  48. “A mother’s arms are more comforting than anyone else’s.”—Princess Diana
  49. “The hand that rocks the cradle is the hand that rules the world.”—W.R. Wallace
  50. “Being a mother is the greatest blessing and the hardest challenge in all of life.”—Dr. Magdalena Battles

Final Thoughts

Single moms are remarkable women. They are to be respected and honored for all that they do. If you know a single mom, then share this article with them. Tell them “you are doing a great job as a single mom.” They need our encouragement and support.

They may be parenting alone, but it is good to let them know that there are people in their life who care for them. We can all be there for the single moms out there. Even if it is just to say, “keep up the great work, you are an amazing woman!”

Advertising

If you are a single mom, keep up the good work! You are amazing, and your kids are lucky to have you!

More Tips for Single Moms

Featured photo credit: Alexander Dummer via unsplash.com

Advertising

Read Next