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How to Gain Confidence When Other People Criticize Us

How to Gain Confidence When Other People Criticize Us

Life is filled with “instant-save” moments when we have to stop from our wandering ways and question what exactly we are doing. We survive our days doing what we know without having to second-guess ourselves until some wise-guy offers us to examine our lives in their perspective. “Why thank you for your unrequested advice!”

We usually don’t approach a situation of this sort in a friendly fashion. We may shrivel up inside temporarily and cringe with discomfort. I can guarantee you’ve had someone point out something you wish they hadn’t for no apparent reason. I like to get defensive and fire an eye-opener right back at them. “How about we take these next proceeding minutes and talk about [insert insulting comeback here]? I believe that you are the one with the real problems!”

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Someone once chose to confront me with the fact that I like to move at the speed of snail with my daily preparations. I already knew this about myself, but to have someone openly criticize me made me furious. I turned around and showed them my unsatisfied glare-of-death. I responded, “You seem to have some sick fascination with watching me get ready for my day. Is it because your life is boring? Or is it just the fact that you would be cooler if I let you borrow my t-shirt?”

If you think that I might have taken it a little too far, you’re probably right. I instantly insulted them. I considered what they had said about me. Although I already knew that I move peculiarly slowly, this helped me love that about myself. I analyzed why it was that I got ready as fast as an infant learning to drive a stick shift.

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I realized that I do this because I am busy mental exercising myself for the day at hand. I visualize all the tasks I have to accomplish. I organize my to-do list. I embrace every detail of the day as much I can because when it comes time to perform, I am more than ready.

Although, we generally do not like the fact that someone has aimed their words directly into our unconscious imperfections. We hold on to these moments long enough to let them shape our lives. It’s important that we use this opportunity to mold ourselves the way we would like and not let it break us down into a million more pieces of “where does this one go again?” This is when we need to take the time to start setting things straight for ourselves.

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You are not the victim!

I mentioned that it’s almost necessary that we allow ourselves to get defensive when this happens. Someone has noticed something about you that you’ve been oblivious to. Evaluate their perspective and decide whether or not you like this about yourself. If you do, reaffirm to yourself that this makes you unique and you’re proud of it. If it isn’t, you should appreciate the opportunity that you have to better yourself. Whatever you choose, this should not be something to beat yourself up about.

Be conscientious!

Knowing who we are, what we are capable of, and being aware of our weaknesses and strengths is a powerful thing. Maybe we’re not the person in charge at work, but we can always be in charge of ourselves. We can even learn how to develop a positive self-image from our not so admirable characteristics.

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The next time someone wants to call you out on that, “thing you didn’t want to know you did,” pause and say, “Thank you for blessing me with the chance to decide whether or not I value your criticism!”

Featured photo credit: Arguments by Artis Pupins via flickr.com

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How to Gain Confidence When Other People Criticize Us

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Last Updated on December 9, 2019

5 Simple Ways to Relieve Stress Effectively

5 Simple Ways to Relieve Stress Effectively

Everyone experiences mental stress at one time or another. Maybe you’re starting a new career, job, or business, or you feel incredibly overwhelmed between work, parenting, and your love life (or a lack of it). It could even be that you simply feel that you have way too much to do and not enough time to do it,  plus, on top of everything, nothing seems to be going the way it should!

Yup, we all experience mental stress from time-to-time, and that’s okay as long as you have the tools, techniques and knowledge that allow you to fully relieve it once it comes.

Here are 5 tips for relieving mental stress when it comes so you can function at your best while feeling good (and doing well) in work, love, or life:

1. Get Rationally Optimistic

Mental stress starts with your perception of your experiences. For instance, most people get stressed out when they perceive their reality as “being wrong” in some way. Essentially, they have a set idea of how things “should be” at any given moment, and when reality ends up being different (not even necessarily bad), they get stressed.

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This process is simply a result of perception and can be easily “fixed” by recognizing that although life might not always be going as YOU think it should, it’s still going as it should—for your own benefit.

In fact, once you fully recognize that everything in your life ultimately happens for your own growth, progress, and development—so you can achieve your goals and dreams—your perception works in your favor. You soon process and respond to your experience of life differently, for your advantage. That’s the essence of becoming “rationally optimistic.”

The result: no more mental stress.

2. Unplug

Just like you might need to unplug your computer when it starts acting all crazy, you should also “unplug” your mind.

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How on earth do you unplug your mind? Simple: just meditate.

It isn’t nearly difficult or complicated as some people think, so, if you don’t already meditate, give it a try. Whether you meditate for 5 minutes, 30 minutes, or 2 hours, this is a surefire way to reduce mental stress.

Meditation has been scientifically proven to relax your body (resulting in less mental stress), while also reducing anxiety and high blood pressure.

3. Easy on the Caffeine

Yes, we know, we know—everyone loves a nice java buzz, and that’s okay, but there’s a fine line between a small caffeine pick-me-up and a racing heart and mind that throws you into a frenzy of mental stress.

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Try giving up caffeine for a while and see how you feel. And, if that’s completely out of the question for you, at least try to minimize it. You might find that lots of your mental stress mysteriously “disappears” as your caffeine intake goes down.

4. Attack Mental Stress Via the Back Door

That’s right: your body and mind are part of the whole being, and are constantly influencing and affecting each other. If you’re experiencing a lot of mental stress, try to reduce it by calming your body down—a calm body equals a calmer mind.

How do you calm your body down and reduce physical stress? A  great way to reduce physical stress (thereby reducing mental stress) is to take natural supplements that are proven to reduce stress and anxiety while lifting your mood. Three good ones to look into are kava-kava, St John’s wort, and rhodiola rosea:

  • Kava-kava is a natural plant known to have mild sedative properties, and you should be able to find it at your natural health food store or vitamin store. It’s available in capsules or liquid extract form.
  • St John’s wort is a natural flower used to treat depression. Again, it’s found at your local health store in capsules or liquid. Because it uplifts mood (enabling you to see the brighter side of all experiences) it helps relieve mental stress as well.
  • Rhodiola rosea is a natural plant shown to reduce stress and uplift mood, and Russian athletes have been using it forever. Like the other two supplements mentioned, rhodiola rosea can be found at your natural health store in capsule or liquid form.

While these supplements are all natural and can be very helpful for most people, always check with your health care provider first as they can cause side-effects depending on your current health situation etc.

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5. Good Old-Fashioned Exercise

This tip has been around forever because it works. Nothing relieves mental stress like running, kickboxing—you name it. Anything super-physical will wipe out most of your mental stresses once the exercise endorphins (happy chemicals) are released into your brain.

The result: mental stress will be gone!

So, if you’re feeling overwhelmed or just plain stressed, try using some of the above tips. You can even print this out or save it to refer to regularly.

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Featured photo credit: Radu Florin via unsplash.com

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