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5 Power Signals You Can Send Through Body Language on a First Date or Casual Encounter

5 Power Signals You Can Send Through Body Language on a First Date or Casual Encounter

Tinder has taught us to swipe right or left. Dating has become so technological and impersonal that actually communicating in-person is becoming a lost art form. Whether you’re meeting a friend for coffee, or attempting to seduce someone that you find irresistible, or going out on a date for the first time, body language is critical to communicating in an impactful way.

Let’s take a closer look at five time-tested power signals you can send using body language.

1. Animated People Score Better in Speed Dating Surveys

An article discussing the power of proper posture when dating, written by Erika Ettin, highlights the findings of a study centered around more than 144 hours of video-recorded speed dates involving couples interacting together for the first time. One of the key areas researchers studied was how hand and arm movements affected perception. Communicating in a physically active way significantly improved the odds that a man or woman would be asked out on a second date.

Should you try and impersonate one of those inflatable tube people outside of shops whenever they have a sale? No! But, simple gestures where hand and arm movement accompany verbal communication, shows engagement and energy.

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2. Prepare for a Night on the Town with Open, Power Postures

In the privacy of your home, or even a bathroom stall, it’s entirely possible to boost your self-confidence with open, expansive physical posturing. Confidence is sexy, and anything you can do to project a sense of self-worth is worth trying.

Amy Cuddy, a Social Psychologist, recently presented a Ted Talk where she discussed her own challenges with self-confidence. And, more importantly, she had found ways to universally improve self-confidence through body-language. It turns out that the chicken or the egg debate isn’t the only place where actions and reactions are hard to define.

Opening your body up, stretching out your arms and expanding the space you occupy can measurably boost self-confidence. Confident people have body language that is open, expansive and unafraid. If you don’t feel confident, force your body language to become more open, imitating a confident person. Your brain will react and take the queue from your physical state.

If you’re nervous about trying to awkwardly open up your body language in public, practice in private. The sense of confidence will continue for some time after you try the power poses that Cuddy discusses in her Ted Talk.

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3. Turn Towards the Person You’re Interested In

The heart wants what the heart wants, and subconsciously our heart points us in the direction of the things we’re interested in. If you’re genuinely interested in the person you’re meeting with, your body needs to be centered towards them. Turning away or at an angle while you talk is a sign that you’re losing interest. Engage and center around the other person, and they’ll be encouraged to do the same.

If the other person seems guarded or involuntarily turning away, it’s a sign that things aren’t going well. Don’t mistakenly send across that you’d rather be elsewhere.

4. Tilt Your Head

Ever so subtly tilting your head as you engage in conversation is an excellent strategy for signaling that you’re invested in the conversation. If the other person is sharing something with you that you find interesting, signal your heightened level of attention by casually leaning your head to the side. Then, as the conversation picks up tempo in another direction, slowly move back to a centered position.

Just like moving your arms, actively participating in the conversation with subtle body cues improves the sense of connection the other person feels with you. The way your body flows with the conversation is kind of like a dance that starts out with a handshake and helps propel the conversation forward with every twist and turn.

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But, it’s important that body language is executed in moderation. You don’t was to appear fidgety, as that signals a lack of interest, or a potential psychological disorder.

5. Establish Eye-Contact and Casual Physical Contact

Okay, this one shouldn’t be too surprising. Looking someone in the eyes is both a sign of respect and confidence.

It was William Shakespeare who once wrote, “The eyes are the window to the soul.”

If you want to size someone up quickly, look at them in the eyes while speaking with them. The sub-conscious communication that’s made will tell you more than words will ever reveal.

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Your goal should be to find a comfortable balance between staring and gazing away into the distance. Breaking eye contact for a moment here and there helps give you a sense of your surroundings and allows for a more relaxed feeling, while still showing that you’re paying full attention.

As the conversation progresses, finding an excuse to make physical contact is a great way to build a sense of trust and connection. Whether it’s a light hug after meeting for the first time, or placing a hand halfway across the table, inviting the other person to hold yours, physical contact symbolizes a breaking of barriers; allowing two individuals to share a more intimate, real moment.

It’s said that 93% of communication is nonverbal. Body language allows for our words to have greater context. Understanding how our body language is being perceived helps us to avoid miscommunication and improve the quality of conversation. It’s my hope that you’ll use the suggestions we’ve discussed to better enjoy your meetings with the people you care about.

Featured photo credit: Josh.greentree/Flickr via flickr.com

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Ahmed Raza

CEO of Samurais.co

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Last Updated on November 5, 2018

8 Powerful Reasons to Love Your Enemies

8 Powerful Reasons to Love Your Enemies

We’ve all got our enemies; people who take pleasure in causing us pain and misery. Sometimes, the development of an enemy is due to certain differences in your characters and events have led to that. Other times, some people end up hating you for apparently no reason at all.

Regardless of how you got this enemy, as opposed to the paradigm of fighting fire with fire, consider the following reasons and see why you should actually appreciate your enemies. This article will show you not only how to not be bothered by your enemies, but how to actually foster love for them.

Read on to learn the secret.

1. It’s a practical lesson in anger management

To be honest, your enemies are the best people to help you understand your sense of anger management. When it might be true that your enemies have a way of bringing out the worst in you as regards anger, it is also true that they can help you in your quest to have that anger managed. You can’t get truly angry at someone you love and it is only in that time when you get truly annoyed that you learn how to manage it.

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Anger management is more effective when it is in practice and not in theory

Your enemies are like the therapists who you need, but actually don’t want. Inasmuch as you might want to hate them, they provide you an opportunity to control the anger impulse that you have.

2. It’s an opportunity for healthy competition

You might not know it, but your enemies make for great rivals as they help harness the competitor in you (sometimes, you might not even know or bee conversant with this competitive side until you come across an adversary). You get the right motivation to compete and this can go a long way to spur you to victory.

However, while doing so, it is also essential that you remember not to become a worse version of yourself while competing. Working against an adversary is tricky, and you need to ensure that you don’t cause harm to yourself or your morals in the process. Healthy competition is all you need to get out of this.

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3. Their negative comments can help you make a breakthrough

It is true that your enemies never really have much good to say about you. However, in as much as they might be talking out of a place of hate, there might be some truth to what they’re saying.

To wit, whenever you hear something mean or nasty from an enemy, you might want to take a step back and evaluate yourself. There is a chance that what this enemy is saying is true and coming to face that fact is a major step in helping you to become a better person overall. This is another testament to the fact that enemies can be therapists in their own way.

4. Enemies can also be powerful allies

Loving your enemies can also mean making an effort to interact and make peace with them. In the end, if you are able to establish some common ground and patch things up, you’ll have succeeded in making another friend. And who doesn’t need friends?

This can also help you in working with people in the long run. You get to hone your inter-personal skills, and that can be a big plus to your ledger.

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5. It gives you the ability to realize positivity

In a multitude of negativity, a speck of positivity always seems to find its way through.

Sometimes, a knowledge of the fact that you have enemies will also help you to focus on the many positives and good things that are in your life. A lot of times, we neglect what really matters in life. This can be due to being overly concerned with the enemies we have.

However, it is also possible for this acknowledgement to spur you to take a step back and appreciate the goo things (and people who surround you).

6. There might just be a misunderstanding

Sometimes, the reason why you have an enemy might be something very innocuous. You might not have known the cause of this fractured relationship and your enemy will help complete the picture.

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Simply approaching them will help you to understand the reason for the fracture. This, in turn, can help you to work towards healing your relationship moving forward. Misunderstandings happen, and you need to be able to work around them.

7. You learn to appreciate love as well

A constant reminder of the fact that there are enemies will also help you not to take those who love you for granted. Love and hate are two opposing emotions and it is possible for one to momentarily overshadow the other.

However, while you’ll always have enemies, there will also always be people who love you. These people need to be appreciated for what they do for you. Never let the hate projected to you from your enemies take the place of that.

8. Do you really need the hate?

The truth is that enemies bring only toxic emotions and generate bad reactions from you. If you’re truly to live a prosperous life, you can’t really be carrying all this baggage around.

Hate is bad and you should try all you can to get rid of it. It is a well-known fact that nobody can get really far in life while carrying a lot of emotional baggage. Well, hate is the biggest form of emotional baggage there is.

Featured photo credit: rawpixel via unsplash.com

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