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4 Ways to Find Love in The Millennial World

4 Ways to Find Love in The Millennial World

We have all been there, we have all walked the path of loneliness and missing that special someone holding our hands while hopping around next to us. We stay awake all night, scanning our Tinder’s and swiping left and right. However, we have all been there and you know exactly what I’m talking about. That’s right, we have all been single at one point in our lives.

Growing up can prove to be a hassle, as we are all nurtured to be the best at everything. We strive for greatness and we work hard for our career, academic, and health. Often times we neglect some part of our lives and this usually ends up being our relationship life. We sacrifice our dating life for a chance of success, financial stability, and an unlimited amount of Netflix.

Sometimes we head out on blind dates to boost our confidence but deep down we know that nothing beats true companionship. Therefore, we hold on to the idea of a fairytale where a charming prince or princess will fall down our path. However, as everything in life, relationships need work and effort.

This is why I decided to combine my knowledge of personal tinder experience and fairy tales together into 4 points that might change your situation in the dating world.

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1. If you’re short on time, try online dating.

In this millennial world, we are all short on time as we run to catch the next train, flight, or bus. During the weekends, we often look forward to crashing in our comfy beds and beautiful couches with some Netflix and peanuts. Walking out to a bar or to a restaurant and hunting for that special someone seems like another busy day. So we often reject such complications and stick with the routine.

However, thanks to technology and the new age smartphone century; we are all walking around with a dating app at our arm’s length. The most famous and dominating app, Tinder, allows us to find our match by swiping right and exclude the false matches by swiping left. This saves you time, energy, and money by giving you a close to perfect list of matches.

Over the years we have had our fair share of experience with broken hearts and failed dates, we have met our set of creeps and our pairs of mismatched people. Tinder and other online dating sites help reduce such stress and leads you to the right direction. Furthermore, if you’re a person who’s generally shy then this would the perfect way for you to start socializing.

Remember, traditions change and we are no longer in the era of Marilyn Monroe.

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2. There are no rules in dating.

Do you remember the times where we were given the rule book of dating? We were told that girls shouldn’t ask first and boys should be mean to show their interest. Over the years, this has created a huge anxiety among many in the dating culture. We walk pass someone in our office or on the street, we hesitate until the opportunity is eventually gone.

Guess what, there are no rules in dating. Dating is a form of self-expression, you express yourself to your partner. Always wear your confidence on you as a badge of pride and project this personality in your dating life. This becomes the turning point for you and the person you’re interested in as it allows you to communicate and enjoy each others company.

Furthermore, when you realize that there are no rules, you give yourself credit for every successful and failed attempt at finding the right match. Self-love and self-confidence are the first step when you have no rules. Therefore, make sure to take full control of it.

3. Be vibrant and create your own personality.

When you flip through any magazine or any article about dating and relationship choices, you find a list of things you have to be. Some say you have to practice a mysterious and sultry demeanor while others say practice a mature and jovial demeanor. How do one keep up with all the worldly expectations?

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The answer to that question is, you never can keep up with the changes of time and changes of expectations. My favorite example would be an awkward bird, the Ostrich. It’s an odd comparison, however, the ostrich’s dance and runs around in the most awkward position to impress their partner. They dance and parade around to woo their partner, the sense of confidence and passion is what makes their personality so attractive.

Create that same passion and confidence that those birds have, this will give you an interesting edge compared to those magazines. People are bored of repetition, therefore, be yourself and create your own personality. Being vibrant is never a bad thing therefore always try to keep a bright and open mindset.

BIG and Bold is never bad.

4. Focus on the likes compared to the dislikes.

Pessimism is part of human life, it’s easier to focus on the bad than the good. We practice the concept of “Let’s Check What’s Wrong”, and we focus on the worse part of life, personality and perspective. We eliminate and push away people and opportunity that comes forward in an imperfect form.

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However, have you wondered what it would be like if you stop focusing on the flaws of a person and only focus on their best qualities? How would it be like? Wouldn’t it be easier for us to accept another person?

Next time if you’re talking to someone, try focusing on their best qualities and give the person a chance. Try not to focus on their flaws, try not imposing your ideology or perspective towards the other person, and finally accept them for who they are. It may be difficult at first however soon you would realize it’s an accurate decision. We are all flawed humans, accepting it is the best way to find love in life.

In a nutshell, most times we may be rejected and most times the tips above may not be successful. However, in a long run, it will give you the confidence and morale needed to make the best of your dating life. Finding love is an amazing feeling because the best parts of life come in comfy packages.

Featured photo credit: Google Images via http

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Last Updated on June 24, 2019

Why Social Media Might Be Causing Depression

Why Social Media Might Be Causing Depression

A study [1] published in Depression and Anxiety found that social media users are more likely to be depressed. This was just one of the huge number of studies linking social media and depression[2] . But why exactly do platforms like Facebook and Instagram make people so unhappy? Well, we don’t know yet for sure, but there are some explanations.

Social Media Could Lead to Depression

Depression is a serious medical condition that affects how you think, feel, and behave. Social media may lead to depression in predisposed individuals or make existing symptoms of depression[3] worse explains[4] the study above’s senior author Dr. Brian Primack. So, the problem may not be in social media per se, but how we use it.

Signs You’re Suffering From “Social Media Depression”

If you feel like social media is having a negative impact on your mood, then you may be suffering from “social media depression.” Look for symptoms like:

• low self-esteem,

• negative self-talk,

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• a low mood,

• irritability,

• a lack of interest in activities once enjoyed,

• and social withdrawal.

If you’ve had these symptoms for more than two weeks and if this is how you feel most of the time, then you are likely depressed. Although “social media depression “is not a term recognized in the medical setting, social media depression seems to be a real phenomenon affecting around 50% of social media users. As explained in a review study[5] published in Cyberpsychology, Behavior, and Social Networking, if a person has a certain predisposition to depression and other mental disorders, social media use may only worsen their mental health.

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Social Media Could Crush Self-Esteem

We know that social media and depression are in some way linked, but why is this so? Well, according to Igor Pantic, MD, Ph.D.[6], social media use skews your perception about other people’s lives and traits. To explain this further, most people like to portray an idealized image of their lives, personal traits, and appearance on sites like Facebook and Instagram. If you confuse this idealized image with reality, you may be under the false impression that everyone is better than you which can crush your self-esteem and lead to depression. This is especially true for teens and young adults who are more likely to compare themselves to others. If you already suffer from low self-esteem, the illusion that everyone has it better off than you will just make you feel worse.

Causing Social Isolation and Other Negative Emotions

Another commonly cited reason for the negative impact of social media on mental health is its link with social isolation. Depressed people are more likely to isolate themselves socially and chose only to interact indirectly through social media platforms. But communication online tends to be superficial and is lacking when compared to real-life interaction explains Panic. What this means is not that social media leads to isolation but the other way around, possibly explaining why we find so many depressed persons on these sites.

Lastly, social media use may generate negative emotions in you like envy, jealousy, dislike, loneliness, and many others and this may worsen your depressive symptoms.

Why We Need to Take This Seriously

Both depression and social media use are on the rise according to epidemiological studies. Since each one has an impact on the other, we have to start thinking of healthier ways to use social media. Teens and young adults are especially vulnerable to the negative impact of social media on mental health.

Advice on Social Media Use

Although these findings did not provide any cause-effect explanation regarding Facebook and depression[7], they still do prove that social media use may not be a good way to handle depression. For this reason, the leading authors of these studies gave some suggestions as to how clinicians and people can make use of such findings.

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One suggestion is that clinicians should ask patients about their social media habits. Then they can advise them on how to change their outlook on social media use or even suggest limiting their time spent on social media.

Some social media users may also exhibit addictive behavior; they may spend too much time due to compulsive urges. Any compulsive behavior is bound to lead to feelings of guilt which can worsen depressive symptoms.

Having Unhealthy Relationship with Social Media

If you feel like your relationship with social media is unhealthy, then consider the advice on healthy social media use provided by psychology experts from Links Psychology[8]:

Avoid negative social comparison – always keep in mind that how people portray themselves and their lives on social media is not a realistic picture, but rather an idealized one. Also, avoid comparing yourself to others because this behavior can lead to negative self-talk.

Remember that social media is not a replacement for real life – Social media is great for staying in touch and having fun, but it should never replace real-world interactions.

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Avoid releasing personal information – For your safety and privacy, make sure to be careful with what you post online.

Report users who bully and harass you – It’s easy to be a bully in the anonymous and distant world of social media. Don’t take such offense personally and report those who abuse social media to harass others.

The bits of advice listed above can help you establish a healthy relationship with social media. Always keep these things in mind to avoid losing an objective perspective of what social media is and how it is different from real life. If you are currently suffering from depression, talk to your doctor about what is bothering you so that you can get the treatment you need to get better. Tell your doctor about your social media use and see if they could give you some advice on this topic.

Reference

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