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4 Ways to Find Love in The Millennial World

4 Ways to Find Love in The Millennial World

We have all been there, we have all walked the path of loneliness and missing that special someone holding our hands while hopping around next to us. We stay awake all night, scanning our Tinder’s and swiping left and right. However, we have all been there and you know exactly what I’m talking about. That’s right, we have all been single at one point in our lives.

Growing up can prove to be a hassle, as we are all nurtured to be the best at everything. We strive for greatness and we work hard for our career, academic, and health. Often times we neglect some part of our lives and this usually ends up being our relationship life. We sacrifice our dating life for a chance of success, financial stability, and an unlimited amount of Netflix.

Sometimes we head out on blind dates to boost our confidence but deep down we know that nothing beats true companionship. Therefore, we hold on to the idea of a fairytale where a charming prince or princess will fall down our path. However, as everything in life, relationships need work and effort.

This is why I decided to combine my knowledge of personal tinder experience and fairy tales together into 4 points that might change your situation in the dating world.

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1. If you’re short on time, try online dating.

In this millennial world, we are all short on time as we run to catch the next train, flight, or bus. During the weekends, we often look forward to crashing in our comfy beds and beautiful couches with some Netflix and peanuts. Walking out to a bar or to a restaurant and hunting for that special someone seems like another busy day. So we often reject such complications and stick with the routine.

However, thanks to technology and the new age smartphone century; we are all walking around with a dating app at our arm’s length. The most famous and dominating app, Tinder, allows us to find our match by swiping right and exclude the false matches by swiping left. This saves you time, energy, and money by giving you a close to perfect list of matches.

Over the years we have had our fair share of experience with broken hearts and failed dates, we have met our set of creeps and our pairs of mismatched people. Tinder and other online dating sites help reduce such stress and leads you to the right direction. Furthermore, if you’re a person who’s generally shy then this would the perfect way for you to start socializing.

Remember, traditions change and we are no longer in the era of Marilyn Monroe.

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2. There are no rules in dating.

Do you remember the times where we were given the rule book of dating? We were told that girls shouldn’t ask first and boys should be mean to show their interest. Over the years, this has created a huge anxiety among many in the dating culture. We walk pass someone in our office or on the street, we hesitate until the opportunity is eventually gone.

Guess what, there are no rules in dating. Dating is a form of self-expression, you express yourself to your partner. Always wear your confidence on you as a badge of pride and project this personality in your dating life. This becomes the turning point for you and the person you’re interested in as it allows you to communicate and enjoy each others company.

Furthermore, when you realize that there are no rules, you give yourself credit for every successful and failed attempt at finding the right match. Self-love and self-confidence are the first step when you have no rules. Therefore, make sure to take full control of it.

3. Be vibrant and create your own personality.

When you flip through any magazine or any article about dating and relationship choices, you find a list of things you have to be. Some say you have to practice a mysterious and sultry demeanor while others say practice a mature and jovial demeanor. How do one keep up with all the worldly expectations?

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The answer to that question is, you never can keep up with the changes of time and changes of expectations. My favorite example would be an awkward bird, the Ostrich. It’s an odd comparison, however, the ostrich’s dance and runs around in the most awkward position to impress their partner. They dance and parade around to woo their partner, the sense of confidence and passion is what makes their personality so attractive.

Create that same passion and confidence that those birds have, this will give you an interesting edge compared to those magazines. People are bored of repetition, therefore, be yourself and create your own personality. Being vibrant is never a bad thing therefore always try to keep a bright and open mindset.

BIG and Bold is never bad.

4. Focus on the likes compared to the dislikes.

Pessimism is part of human life, it’s easier to focus on the bad than the good. We practice the concept of “Let’s Check What’s Wrong”, and we focus on the worse part of life, personality and perspective. We eliminate and push away people and opportunity that comes forward in an imperfect form.

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However, have you wondered what it would be like if you stop focusing on the flaws of a person and only focus on their best qualities? How would it be like? Wouldn’t it be easier for us to accept another person?

Next time if you’re talking to someone, try focusing on their best qualities and give the person a chance. Try not to focus on their flaws, try not imposing your ideology or perspective towards the other person, and finally accept them for who they are. It may be difficult at first however soon you would realize it’s an accurate decision. We are all flawed humans, accepting it is the best way to find love in life.

In a nutshell, most times we may be rejected and most times the tips above may not be successful. However, in a long run, it will give you the confidence and morale needed to make the best of your dating life. Finding love is an amazing feeling because the best parts of life come in comfy packages.

Featured photo credit: Google Images via http

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Published on October 7, 2019

4 Types of Toxic People and How to Deal with Them

4 Types of Toxic People and How to Deal with Them

Can a person really be toxic? Well, a toxic person does not refer to those who are affected by the virus or toxic. To be precise, toxic people are those who are very unsupportive, abusive and unhealthy in nature. Their behavior is filled with venom and you will not feel any sort of gentle breeze in their words.

In this article, you will learn how to spot out a toxic person, and what you can do to deal with them.

Signs of Toxic People

To make it more obvious, I have added some signs of toxic people below.

Manipulative Behavior And Fabricated Mind

Toxic people are unable to deal with the bitter truth firmly. If you are going to blurt out their fabrications with proof, they will try to change the whole matter with their manipulative behavior. They will titillate you with sensitive words or they will try to frighten you to get rid of the problems.

Inhuman And Merciless in Nature

We know that sharing our thoughts with friends will keep us in good mental state. But, if you are not getting fruitful outcomes, you have to understand that you are spending time with toxic friends.

Toxic people do not know how to put themselves in other’s shoes. They just put on a mask of simplicity. But, in reality, they don’t have feelings for you. Therefore, you should stop sharing your valuable time with them as you will get nothing except annoyance and silence.

Hypocrisy at Its Best in Their Nature

Toxic people have a great hunger for respect, adoration, and fidelity. After dignifying them with these valuable elements, you will get nothing; you will be cheated, manipulated and criticized by them. And, if you are not willing to listen to them, you will be controlled by guilt-tripping.

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Emotional Outburst And Pathological Excuses

Toxic people always want to see themselves in the positive end. Therefore, to get their job done, they always have an emotional outburst and emotional excuse to make an impulsive impression upon you.

We do mistakes and it is our duty to accept those mistakes. But, toxic people have their own rules, they have a tendency to present themselves rationally even after committing a mistake. If someone tries to expose themselves with facts, they show no embarrassment and use emotional excuses as a shield.

Play with Your Emotion And Gradually Erode It

Toxic people always try to condescend you with critical jokes and when you try to elicit your thoughts, they just burst out laughing. Teasing becomes an important element in your relationship with toxic person. They even give you backhanded compliments to belittle you.

Thus, using their toxic mindset, they just gradually diminish your abilities as well as intelligence. And you will have nothing left in your hand other than putting up with these things to maintain the silence.

Well, you probably might have not seen all these signs in one person as there are different types of toxic people roaming around you.

4 Types of Toxic People

To understand it better, I’m mentioning the different types of toxic people here.

1. Conversational Narcissist

There are some toxic people who do not know how to give importance to others. They will talk about themselves but never ask you about your condition; they will only recall you when they need you or they are facing some sort of problems.

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2. Emotional Vampires

These vampires do not suck your blood but dissipate your emotion. They always talk negatively about everyone and compel you to think in the same pattern that they follow. They mask themselves in such a way in front of you that you gradually start giving importance to them. But, ultimately, you will not get any positive outcome from them.

3. Monsters with Green eyes

As discussed earlier, toxic people will give you backhanded compliments. Basically, these are called monsters with green eyes. These monsters feel happy when you feel sad. Therefore, they will always try to belittle your achievements, intelligence, and strengths. Along with it, they give compliments with some negativity in it.

4. Black-Eyed Cats

These cats always do mew-mew and try to control everything around them. They love to be pampered but, they do not like if someone goes against them.

If you are in a relationship with such persons, you will be nagged until you are giving them complete satisfaction. In a nutshell, it must be said that you have to align yourself with them if you want to live with them. But, ultimately, you will lose your mental, conversational and emotional freedom.

How to Deal with Toxic People

Living with problems is more convenient than living with toxic people. But, toxic people are parasites and therefore, you will see these monsters rambling around you wherever you go.

However, if you know how to deal with them, it would be very helpful for you and your life would be much easier to live. We have added some tips to assist you, just check these out.

Get Rid of Intermittent Reinforcement

We are very optimistic in nature and over the time, this optimism has reached to such a level that we can happily put up with the ‘close losses’ instead of trying to catch the ‘near wins’.

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B.F Skinner once did an experiment with three rats. He put them in different cages attached with levers. The lever delivered food when it was pressed. In the 1st cage, the lever always delivered food when the rat pressed it. In case of the 2nd cage, food was never delivered by the lever even after pressing it, therefore, the rat understood the lesson and never tried to get food. But, in the third cage, the lever delivered food randomly and as a result, the rat was completely hooked and fixated. He constantly pushed it but didn’t get the food always.

Well, this is called intermittent relationship and the same thing happens in human relationships where toxic people give you intermittent reinforcement and your heart gets pumped up with optimism. As a result, you will be hooked and your life will be fixated at some point with toxic people.

You should learn to move on without them and live your life happily because random happiness cannot bring permanent relief.

Never Make Too Many Allowances And Pardons

Well, sympathetic attitude is very good and it is also a fact that sometimes toxic people suffer from genuine depression, physical as well as mental illness. But, you have to set a boundary and you cannot allow people to get away with anything so easily.

If you make too many allowances as well as pardons, it would not be good for you in the long-term. Yes, there are some people who are facing extreme hardships and they are not even toxic in nature. But, all you can do is show some genuine compassion keeping yourself within the boundaries.

Always Try to Ignore Their Toxic Traps

Demotivational words are the primary weapon that they frequently use in their implications to detract you. Along with this, they throw words in such a way that you start feeling guilty. Well, you must understand that these are just toxic traps and you should not step on it.

Always remember that you will have full access to freedom if you stop taking things personally. They not only do this with you but also with everyone. You just have to keep in mind that these toxic words are not based on truth but on their own mental reproduction. So, you just have to ignore this and focus on your work.

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Show Them Your Beautiful Smile Not the Curves on Your Forehead

Toxic people have an aptitude to attack mentally, mock disgracefully and diminish shamefully. But, you will not be affected if you don’t surrender yourself. Show them that you are not getting belittled or insulted.

We all have our problems and we also know that we are capable of solving these problems. Therefore, the matter entirely depends upon us and if we don’t allow these vampires to enter into our life or play with our emotions, they cannot suck our happiness. So, I’d suggest you show your beautiful smile when they buzz around you.

Don’t Suppress Yourself

Toxic people will intimidate, bully, pass guilt, and forcefully take money from you to get their job done. They know very well that they are doing wrong and at the same time, they are acquainted with the concept that we are incapable of doing anything against them.

Most of the time, we keep ourselves quiet until someone speaks up. And because of this suppressive mindset, we are gradually being dragged into their mind games.

Well, we have to change this concept as it infuses courage into them. We need to obstruct them with firm minds and make them realize the negative consequences of their behavior.[1] If they are upsetting you, just tell them directly. Your direct statement might open a new gate of opportunity that will allow you to help them if they are suffering from genuine problems.

So, why are you still tolerating these toxic people? Follow the tips mentioned above and deal with them in the right way.

Featured photo credit: Devin Avery via unsplash.com

Reference

[1] Tips for Grooming: Change Your Fixed Negative Belief

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