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Important Life Lessons To Remind Yourself When Turning 25

Important Life Lessons To Remind Yourself When Turning 25

At 25 you are still young, yet you’re old enough to have picked up some vital life lessons. Here are five things to remember as you pass your quarter-century milestone.

Keep them in mind and you’ll never go far wrong, even when life doesn’t go quite according to plan.

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1. Time spent on people who don’t appreciate you is time wasted

Life is challenging enough even with the support of positive people, so don’t waste your precious time or energy on those who belittle you, fail to appreciate you, or make you feel bad. Most of us can probably remember a time when we spent weeks, months or even years trying to win over someone who in the end just didn’t deserve us. When you sense that a so-called friend or partner is using you or neglects to show you affection, it’s time to move on. Show yourself some respect and sever ties that damage your emotional health.

2. Identify what you want, and go for it

No-one else can know you better than you can know yourself. By the time you reach your mid-twenties, you will realize that only you can choose the right path for yourself. This applies to the career you pursue, the type of relationships you want, and the skills you develop. It may feel initially scary to take complete responsibility for yourself, but ultimately you will feel completely empowered. It takes courage to look to yourself for guidance, especially if you come from a critical home environment, but doing so is part of being a fully-developed adult. Remember the first time you took a decision that was based solely on your own preferences and values, and how good that felt? Hold onto that memory and use it to bolster your courage when it’s time to chase after your dreams.

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3. Take no-one for granted

Always remember to value and treasure those who have your back, give you encouragement during the dark times, and offer you their love and help on a regular basis. If you have a good friend you haven’t seen for a while, why not reach out and make contact? Nurture your family relationships too. If you are lucky enough to be on good terms with your parents, remember that they won’t be around forever. Act accordingly by keeping in touch and thanking them for their wisdom and support.

4. You can choose to be happy or miserable. Choose wisely

Sometimes we can’t always control what happens to us, but we can control how we react. As far as anyone knows, we only get one chance to make this journey called life. Think back to a time when you managed to handle bad news or a less-than-desirable outcome with grace and good humor. When life throws you the next curveball (which, of course, it will!), draw on your inner resources and decide to be as happy as possible regardless of what is going on around you.

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5. Don’t be afraid of your feelings

Whilst it’s preferable to cultivate a positive attitude, sometimes you need to confront your negative feelings and darkest fears. It’s entirely appropriate and natural, for example, to feel sad after a breakup or a sense of disappointment if the job you wanted didn’t work out. At times like these, your feelings can actually be your best friends, because when you carry on under conditions of adversity you prove just how strong you are. This will lay the foundations for a more fearless outlook on life.

Take the above life lessons on board and you won’t just survive your late twenties and beyond, you will thrive! Above all, remember that you are a person of worth and have everything you need to reach your goals and meet life’s challenges head-on.

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Featured photo credit: Ezra Jeffrey via unsplash.com

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Jay Hill

Freelance Writer

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The Gentle Art of Saying No

The Gentle Art of Saying No

No!

It’s a simple fact that you can never be productive if you take on too many commitments — you simply spread yourself too thin and will not be able to get anything done, at least not well or on time.

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But requests for your time are coming in all the time — through phone, email, IM or in person. To stay productive, and minimize stress, you have to learn the Gentle Art of Saying No — an art that many people have problems with.

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What’s so hard about saying no? Well, to start with, it can hurt, anger or disappoint the person you’re saying “no” to, and that’s not usually a fun task. Second, if you hope to work with that person in the future, you’ll want to continue to have a good relationship with that person, and saying “no” in the wrong way can jeopardize that.

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But it doesn’t have to be difficult or hard on your relationship. Here are the Top 10 tips for learning the Gentle Art of Saying No:

  1. Value your time. Know your commitments, and how valuable your precious time is. Then, when someone asks you to dedicate some of your time to a new commitment, you’ll know that you simply cannot do it. And tell them that: “I just can’t right now … my plate is overloaded as it is.”
  2. Know your priorities. Even if you do have some extra time (which for many of us is rare), is this new commitment really the way you want to spend that time? For myself, I know that more commitments means less time with my wife and kids, who are more important to me than anything.
  3. Practice saying no. Practice makes perfect. Saying “no” as often as you can is a great way to get better at it and more comfortable with saying the word. And sometimes, repeating the word is the only way to get a message through to extremely persistent people. When they keep insisting, just keep saying no. Eventually, they’ll get the message.
  4. Don’t apologize. A common way to start out is “I’m sorry but …” as people think that it sounds more polite. While politeness is important, apologizing just makes it sound weaker. You need to be firm, and unapologetic about guarding your time.
  5. Stop being nice. Again, it’s important to be polite, but being nice by saying yes all the time only hurts you. When you make it easy for people to grab your time (or money), they will continue to do it. But if you erect a wall, they will look for easier targets. Show them that your time is well guarded by being firm and turning down as many requests (that are not on your top priority list) as possible.
  6. Say no to your boss. Sometimes we feel that we have to say yes to our boss — they’re our boss, right? And if we say “no” then we look like we can’t handle the work — at least, that’s the common reasoning. But in fact, it’s the opposite — explain to your boss that by taking on too many commitments, you are weakening your productivity and jeopardizing your existing commitments. If your boss insists that you take on the project, go over your project or task list and ask him/her to re-prioritize, explaining that there’s only so much you can take on at one time.
  7. Pre-empting. It’s often much easier to pre-empt requests than to say “no” to them after the request has been made. If you know that requests are likely to be made, perhaps in a meeting, just say to everyone as soon as you come into the meeting, “Look guys, just to let you know, my week is booked full with some urgent projects and I won’t be able to take on any new requests.”
  8. Get back to you. Instead of providing an answer then and there, it’s often better to tell the person you’ll give their request some thought and get back to them. This will allow you to give it some consideration, and check your commitments and priorities. Then, if you can’t take on the request, simply tell them: “After giving this some thought, and checking my commitments, I won’t be able to accommodate the request at this time.” At least you gave it some consideration.
  9. Maybe later. If this is an option that you’d like to keep open, instead of just shutting the door on the person, it’s often better to just say, “This sounds like an interesting opportunity, but I just don’t have the time at the moment. Perhaps you could check back with me in [give a time frame].” Next time, when they check back with you, you might have some free time on your hands.
  10. It’s not you, it’s me. This classic dating rejection can work in other situations. Don’t be insincere about it, though. Often the person or project is a good one, but it’s just not right for you, at least not at this time. Simply say so — you can compliment the idea, the project, the person, the organization … but say that it’s not the right fit, or it’s not what you’re looking for at this time. Only say this if it’s true — people can sense insincerity.

Featured photo credit: Pexels via pexels.com

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