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8 True Feelings Hidden In Every Introvert’s Heart

8 True Feelings Hidden In Every Introvert’s Heart

Being an introvert can sometimes be a struggle in today’s society but it’s a personality trait that is present in many of us. We can have introversion and extroversion to varying degrees, but as a true introvert, we often feel more isolated and misunderstood by those around us.

Introverts love it when people ‘get them’ and accept them for who they are. It is wonderful when a friend tries to get to know you better and connect on a deeper level. Yes, we may be rubbish at meeting up and hanging out, but that doesn’t mean we love you any less. If you want to know how a true introvert really feels or if you’re a self-confessed introvert yourself, then here are 8 thoughts and feelings that you can identify with.

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1. We Hope You Don’t Take Our Social Declines Personally

We often feel guilty about saying no to social invitations and we worry that we may come across as unwilling to socialise. While this is case, it’s never because we dislike people, so we tend to worry that friends will take it personally. The real reason is that we can feel overwhelmed and mentally drained from being around others, which the more extroverted people don’t always understand.

2. It Upsets Us When People Assume We’re Anti-Social

While we interact less, we don’t dislike being around people all the time and it can hurt when some people comment or joke about our anti-social tendencies. Often our lack of reaching out to others is misunderstood and can seem like we generally don’t want to hang out – this isn’t true!

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3. We Can Feel Overwhelming Claustrophobia

Being in a big group of people during social activities can be extremely uncomfortable and overwhelming for us. It’s even worse if we are unfamiliar with the vast majority of people we’re expected to socialise with. We go out of our way to avoid meaningless small talk as it makes us really anxious and awkward. All we want to do is run out of the door just to feel normal again.

4. We Love Meaningful Conversations

Although we don’t always like to partake in conversations (although we are great listeners!) when it comes to deep and meaningful talk, we love getting to know you on a more personal level – whether it’s about your life aspirations, dreams or ideas and perspectives on things. We feel very satisfied and happy to be able to connect with you on a deeper level because we feel it’s genuine. Trivial talk makes us feel disconnected and it feels pointless.

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5. We Appreciate The People Who Accept Our Introversion

It’s so wonderful when people accept our introversion. We feel totally understood and comfortable. We don’t feel judged and can totally be ourselves around them. They get that we aren’t necessarily the ‘let’s hang out at the last minute’ type of person, but that we’re still reliable enough to be a good friend. We are appreciated for our attention to detail in the friendship and our innate qualities that go towards establishing a deep and lasting relationship.

6. We Feel Judged For Staying In Our Comfort Zones

Yes, we do tend to stay in our comfort zones, but that doesn’t mean we don’t try to break free from time to time. It takes a lot for us to reach out to people and organise social get-togethers, but most of the time people don’t understand our struggle. Our comfort zones are our safe places and it’s where we’re most happy. We don’t like to feel judged for that as stepping out of it just isn’t in our nature.

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7. We Sometimes Feel Conflicted About Our Introverted Nature

Sometimes we really hate our introversion. We feel jealous of those who can easily socialise and flit from one party of people to the next, relishing in the conversation. We sometimes feel like we’re missing out and possibly ashamed of our need to take ourselves away from it all. However, having our own independence and freedom from being around others is what gives us the most energy – that’s just how it is. It just happens to be the opposite for a lot of other people.

8. It Hurts When Others Think We’re Just Weird

We can’t help wanting to recharge by ourselves and stay away from socialising too much. That’s why we feel hurt when we’re labelled as strange or weird for not being social butterflies. Everyone in this world is unique and different; nothing or no one is just black and white. With most people in our society having a degree of introversion in them, it makes sense to start accepting people for who they are and how they want to live their lives. We’re not weird for wanting to be by ourselves sometimes and it doesn’t make us any less of a person – in fact, we have the qualities for making deep and wonderful friendships that last a lifetime!

Featured photo credit: snapwiresnaps.tumblr.com via pexels.com

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Jenny Marchal

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Last Updated on January 18, 2019

7 Ways To Deal With Negative People

7 Ways To Deal With Negative People

Some people will have a rain cloud hanging over them, no matter what the weather is outside. Their negative attitude is toxic to your own moods, and you probably feel like there is little you can do about it.

But that couldn’t be farther from the truth.

If you want to effectively deal with negative people and be a champion of positivity, then your best route is to take definite action through some of the steps below.

1. Limit the time you spend with them.

First, let’s get this out of the way. You can be more positive than a cartoon sponge, but even your enthusiasm has a chance of being afflicted by the constant negativity of a friend.

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In fact, negativity has been proven to damage your health physically, making you vulnerable to high levels of stress and even cardiac disease. There’s no reason to get hurt because of someone else’s bad mood.

Though this may be a little tricky depending on your situation, working to spend slightly less time around negative people will keep your own spirits from slipping as well.

2. Speak up for yourself.

Don’t just absorb the comments that you are being bombarded with, especially if they are about you. It’s wise to be quick to listen and slow to speak, but being too quiet can give the person the impression that you are accepting what’s being said.

3. Don’t pretend that their behavior is “OK.”

This is an easy trap to fall into. Point out to the person that their constant negativity isn’t a good thing. We don’t want to do this because it’s far easier to let someone sit in their woes, and we’d rather just stay out of it.

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But if you want the best for this person, avoid giving the false impression that their negativity is normal.

4. Don’t make their problems your problems.

Though I consider empathy a gift, it can be a dangerous thing. When we hear the complaints of a friend or family member, we typically start to take on their burdens with them.

This is a bad habit to get into, especially if this is a person who is almost exclusively negative. These types of people are prone to embellishing and altering a story in order to gain sympathy.

Why else would they be sharing this with you?

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5. Change the subject.

When you suspect that a conversation is starting to take a turn for the negative, be a champion of positivity by changing the subject. Of course, you have to do this without ignoring what the other person said.

Acknowledge their comment, but move the conversation forward before the euphoric pleasure gained from complaining takes hold of either of you.

6. Talk about solutions, not problems.

Sometimes, changing the subject isn’t an option if you want to deal with negative people, but that doesn’t mean you can’t still be positive.

I know that when someone begins dumping complaints on me, I have a hard time knowing exactly what to say. The key is to measure your responses as solution-based.

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You can do this by asking questions like, “Well, how could this be resolved?” or, “How do you think they feel about it?”

Use discernment to find an appropriate response that will help your friend manage their perspectives.

7. Leave them behind.

Sadly, there are times when we have to move on without these friends, especially if you have exhausted your best efforts toward building a positive relationship.

If this person is a family member, you can still have a functioning relationship with them, of course, but you may still have to limit the influence they have over your wellbeing.

That being said, what are some steps you’ve taken to deal with negative people? Let us know in the comments.

You may also want to read: How to Stop the Negative Spin of Thoughts, Emotions and Actions.

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