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Science Unlocks The Secret To Why Introverts Prefer Alone Time To Socializing

Science Unlocks The Secret To Why Introverts Prefer Alone Time To Socializing

The world is full of all kinds of people, but most of them can be put into one of two categories: extroverts and introverts. Some people are a little more half and half, but most are one or the other.

For years people have thought the causes of introversion or extroversion stemmed from personality types, but a new study has shown that one of the main causes of introversion is actually in the brain. Personality still has something to do with it, but maybe being an introvert or an extrovert is more hard-wired than we think it is!

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How the Study Worked

Since the hypothesis was that introversion and extroversion have more to do with the brain than personality, researchers had to look at the brain’s response to certain things. They studied a group of different people, varying in ages and recorded the electrical activity in their brains through an EEG. The study subjects were shown pictures of objects and people. The difference in the brain activity between the introverts and extroverts was interesting.

Reaction to Inanimate Objects is One of the Causes of Introversion

As the study found, extroverts are more stimulated by seeing people, whereas introverts paid more attention to inanimate objects. This finding was discovered by evaluating the brain’s P300 activity. This activity happens when you experience a sudden change in your environment, and the P300 activity happens within 300 milliseconds. Researchers found that when the group was shown pictures of flowers and faces, the extroverts achieved the P300 response from viewing the pictures of faces, while the introverts only achieved the P300 response from photos of flowers.

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These responses show that extroverts see people as more significant, while introverts give more emphasis to objects. This doesn’t meant introverts hate people; introverts can like socializing, but they certainly don’t place spending time with others on the same level as an extrovert would. In fact, according to this study’s findings, some introverts may even be indifferent to people.

What Does This Mean For You?

If you are an introvert, you probably don’t feel very understood by those around you. The extroverts in your life always push you to do things you really don’t want to do, like going out and socializing. They just don’t understand why you can’t be “on” all the time like they can. This study opens up a way for you to point out to them that it’s not just about a preference or a personality conflict; your brain is hard-wired to need alone time.

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If you talk to your friends one on one and explain your differences, they will most likely understand a little better why you don’t always want to go out or spend a lot of time with others. They won’t be able to completely understand you, just like you can’t completely understand how they can be around people so much and not explode. But they will at least understand why you are different from them. People find it hard to argue against science, and when a new discovery gives you more facts about the causes of introversion, you should definitely use it to your advantage!

What This Study is NOT Saying

This study does not prove that introverts don’t care about people, or that they never want to meet anyone. Introverts care deeply about their loved ones, and can enjoy social gatherings, even the small talk! With the right group of people, an introvert can even walk away from a social activity feeling energized, similar to an extrovert. However, in most cases, an introvert will need time alone for a while after being social, to recharge and feel at peace again.

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Last Updated on October 17, 2019

How to Spend More Quality Time with Your Partner

How to Spend More Quality Time with Your Partner

You see your partner every single day. They are the first person you talk to in the morning and the last person you kiss goodnight.

But does seeing each other day in and day out equal a healthy relationship? Not necessarily.

Spending quality time with your partner is the best way to ensure your relationship stays healthy and strong. This means going above and beyond sitting together while you watch Netflix or going out for the occasional dinner. You deserve more from your relationship – and so does your spouse!

What does quality time mean? It means spending time with your spouse without interruption. It’s a chance for you to come together and talk. Communication will build emotional intimacy and trust.

Quality time is also about expressing love in a physical way. Not sex, necessarily (but that’s great, too!) but through hand-holding, cuddling, caressing, and tickling. Studies show that these displays of affection will boost partner satisfaction.[1]

So how do you spend quality time with your partner? Here are 13 relationship tips on making the most out of your time with your partner.

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1. Recognize the Signs

If you want a healthy relationship, you have to learn how to recognize the signs that you need to spend more quality time together.

Some telltale signs include:

  • You’re always on your phones.
  • You value friendships or hobbies over quality time with your spouse.
  • You aren’t together during important events.
  • You are arguing more often or lack connection.
  • You don’t make plans or date nights.
  • You’re not happy.

If you are experiencing any of these relationship symptoms, know that quality time together can reverse the negative effects of the signs above.

2. Try New Things Together

Have you ever wanted to learn how to play an instrument or speak another language? How about skydive or ballroom dance?

Instead of viewing these as solo hobbies and interests, why not involve your partner?

Trying new activities together builds healthy relationships because it encourages spouses to rely on one another for emotional and physical support.

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Shared hobbies also promote marital friendship, and the Journal of Happiness Studies found that marital satisfaction was twice as high for couples who viewed each other as best friends.[2]

3. Schedule in Tech-Free Time

Your phone is a great way to listen to music, watch videos, and keep up-to-date with friends and family. But is your phone good for your relationship?

Many couples phone snub, or ‘phub’, one another. Studies show that phubbing can lower relationship satisfaction and increase one’s chances of depression.[3]

Reduce those chances by removing distractions when spending quality time together and showing your partner they have your full attention.

4. Hit the Gym as a Couple

One way you can spend more time together as a couple is by becoming workout partners. Studies show that couples are more likely to stay with their exercise routine if they work out together.[4] Couples also work out harder than they would solo. One study found that 95 percent of couples who work out together maintained weight loss compares to the 66 percent of singles who did.[5]

Join a gym, do at-home couples’ workouts, try couples yoga, hit the hiking trails, or get your bikes out. No matter which way you choose to exercise, these healthy activities can promote a healthy relationship.

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5. Cook Meals Together

Pop open a bottle of wine or put some romantic music on while you get busy – in the kitchen, of course!

One of the best relationship tips for spending quality time together when you both have busy schedules is to cook meals together.[6]

Spice things up and try and prepare a four-course meal or a fancy French dish together. Not only is this a fun way to spend your time together, but it also promotes teamwork.

If all goes well, you’ll have a romantic date night meal at home that you prepared with your four hands. And if the food didn’t turn out the way you’d hoped, you are guaranteed to have a laugh and create new memories together.

6. Have a Regular Date Night

Couples experience a greater sense of happiness and less stress when they are spending quality time together.[7] One of the biggest relationship tips for a healthy partnership is to include a date night in your weekly routine.

The National Marriage Project found that having a weekly date night can make your relationship seem more exciting and helps prevent relationship boredom.[8] It also lowers the probability of divorce, improves your sex life, and increases healthy communication.

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Some great ideas for what to do on your date night include:

  • Have a movie marathon – Gather up your favorite flicks and cuddle up on the couch.
  • Play games together – Cards, board games, video games, and other creative outlets are a fun way to spend quality time together.
  • Recreate your first date – Go back to that restaurant and order the same meal you did when you first got together. You can spice up your evening by pretending you’re strangers meeting for the first time and see how sexy the night gets.
  • Plan a weekend getaway – There’s nothing better than traveling with the one you love.
  • Dinner and a movie – A classic!
  • Try a new restaurant – Make it your mission to rate and try all of the Mexican restaurants/Irish pubs/Italian trattorias in your area.
  • Have a long sex session – Intimacy promotes the release of the oxytocin hormone which is responsible for a myriad of great feelings.[9]

Here’re even more date night ideas for your reference: 50 Unique and Really Fun Date Ideas for Couples

Final Thoughts

The benefits of spending quality time together are endless. Here are just some of the ways it can contribute to a healthy relationship:

  • Improves emotional and physical intimacy
  • Lowers divorce rates
  • Improves communication
  • Reduces marital boredom
  • Bonds couples closer
  • Improves friendship
  • Boosts health
  • Reduces stress

These are all excellent reasons to start making date night a regular part of your week.

It’s easy to have a healthy relationship when you set aside dedicated time to share with your spouse. Try new things together, make your spouse your workout buddy, and look for innovative ways to be close and connected.

These relationship tips will bring great benefits to your marriage.

Featured photo credit: Allen Taylor via unsplash.com

Reference

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